In a Flash
See part 1 for description, disclaimer, pairing, etc.
Wow… I'm absolutely floored by the response this story has gotten so far (especially from some who are amazingly stellar writers in their own right). Huge, huge thanks to everyone who has taken the time to let me know what they think of my writing :)
I'm also thrilled that people see my Luke/Lorelai/etc. as so true to the actual characters. We saw shades of how scenes like this might go in "Forgiveness and Stuff," "Teach Me Tonight," and somewhat in "The Incredible Sinking Lorelais" and "Say Something," but nothing quite like where I'm headed, so for the most part, this is just me going out on a limb, in hopes that they all still seem like themselves.
And I find it a million times more difficult to write Luke than any other character anyway (My lack of Y chromosomes, probably… Really though, who can read that man?), so this is really challenging. But I'm up for it, and I'm glad people seem to approve so far. (By the way, I don't know what the deal was this season with Jackson's last name, but I'm sticking with 'M.')
So thanks again! Feedback/suggestions are always much appreciated :)
For all the frantic panicking and the unrestrained onslaught of emotions there had been back at the Melville house, Luke and Lorelai's trip to the hospital was surprisingly calm.
It wasn't quite as rushed as it could have been; Luke was taking no chances on the rain-dampened roads, all too aware of what could, and did, happen, though he tried to push thoughts of anything else happening to the far recesses of his mind. He also made sure to take a slight detour in heading towards Hartford. The last thing they needed to do was take the same route Sookie and Jackson had, and end up face-to-face with whatever ugly aftermath surely still littered the pavement at the site, wherever it was.
Lorelai, for her part, hovered somewhere between scared stiff and sedated as she sat motionless in the passenger seat. Her face a ghostly white against what remained of her shiny, berry-hued lipstick, she didn't question Luke's choice to take back roads, nor did she urge him to speed up as she had done so long ago when her father had been in the hospital. As much as she needed to know what had happened to Sookie and Jackson, there was some comfort in not knowing – there was still hope…
About halfway through the ride, Lorelai let out a little cough and sniffle as she attempted to clear her breathing passages of the after-effects of all the crying. Luke jumped, spooked at the sudden sound, which in turn surprised Lorelai. Turning to face him, the only emotion she could muster was a despondent shrug of a smile before redirecting her blank stare to the empty darkness of Connecticut at night.
In response, Luke reached across the chasm of green vinyl bench seat between them and grasped her left hand. He told himself it was to comfort her; in actuality, it was probably as much for himself as it was for Lorelai. Was he particularly close to Sookie and Jackson? No. Was he particularly close to anyone in town but Lorelai? No. If anything, he was 'friends' with people vicariously because of her… But still… Sookie and Jackson were as close as he got, and things were hitting a little to close to home…
He didn't let go of Lorelai's hand until he pulled into a space in the visitor's parking lot of St. Francis Hospital.
As soon as the engine was shut off, gone were the subdued shells of Luke and Lorelai that had prevailed over the course of the ride. Lorelai threw her door open in a frenzy of activity. As it happened, she did so a little too forcefully, and the door ended up rebounding back at her as she tried to jump from the truck.
She let out a weak groan on impact as she stumbled backwards against the doorway.
"What?" Luke demanded urgently as he dashed around from his side of the truck, wondering what else could possibly be going wrong… As he'd been getting out himself, he hadn't caught the little incident, just the painful moan that had slipped from Lorelai's mouth.
Hissing at the pain as she clasped the site on her side where the heavy door had made contact, Lorelai shooed Luke away, assuring him she was fine. "Just grab my purse, ok?" As her gaze darted towards the emergency room, her eyes said what she herself couldn't… They needed to get inside…
Luke obliged quickly, reaching into the cab of the truck to snatch up Lorelai's handbag from the seat. Locking the doors, he pocketed the keys and took Lorelai's hand. Pink leather purse in Luke's free hand, Lorelai rubbing her new bruise with hers, they took off in a hurried jog towards the entrance.
Once inside, the pair dodged a few wheelchairs, gurneys, and bored interns in lab coats before reaching what appeared to be some sort of reception desk.
Lorelai wasted no time, rushing to the counter and blurting breathlessly, "Sookie and Jackson Melville?"
Unfortunately, it was what appeared to be yet another bored intern staffing the desk, one all too accustomed to the routine mayhem and tragedy of the ER. A frantic request like Lorelai's was barely worth the "Hmm?" that he muttered in her direction, barely looking up.
"Uh," Lorelai stammered, at once both taken aback by the intern's nonchalance and overwhelmed by the sight of something – someone – bloody and screaming being wheeled in from the ambulance bay. She gripped Luke's hand tighter, re-focusing on the young doctor and beginning again, "I was told they were in a car accident and brought here."
"And you are?" The intern questioned indifferently.
Lorelai bit her lip before speaking again, trying to tune out the increasingly unnerving sounds of crying children, sirens, wails of pain… "Lorelai Gilmore, a friend. I was at their house babysitting their kids when…" She didn't get any farther in her explanation.
The intern cut her off abruptly, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I can't really give information out unless it's to family."
Stunned, Lorelai couldn't even manage a protest, "But…"
"I'm sorry," was the reply she got, though it sounded anything but.
Up to that point, Luke had hung back from Lorelai, preferring to let her do the talking, as he did in most situations anyway. He'd always been less than comfortable in hospitals – he didn't have the best record in them, with his parents and all… Throw in the high school sports injuries, and no, Luke definitely was not a fan of hospitals. The nerves and the uncertainty of this particular situation were doing nothing to alleviate his discomfort either…
In an effort to block out the chaos around them, Luke focused intently in the conversation between Lorelai and the obnoxious punk at the counter. The more the kid spoke, the more his self-centered apathy reminded him of a certain nephew he'd had to deal with not too long ago… He hadn't taken any crap from Jess, he wasn't going to take it now either, especially when it stood to hurt Lorelai and keep them from finding out what the hell was going on.
The shrugged apology laced with ennui was the last straw. Nostrils flaring, emotions heightened by the events of the past few hours, Luke went into full rant mode. "Look," he practically snarled, "Obviously she's close to them, she wouldn't have been watching their kids if she wasn't! You, you, you hospital people," he stuttered in disdain, "you talk to her on the phone, she does everything you ask, you tell her she can come down here, she's – we're –," Luke stumbled over his correction, "we're scared out of our minds worrying about them, and you're not going to tell us what's going on? What the hell is wrong with you people? If you think…"
Luke kept right on going, his voice growing louder with each word, though it was still hardly noticeable above the din of the crowded emergency room. With all of his literal arm-waving, he'd foregone his grip on Lorelai's hand at some point. The loss of contact allowed Lorelai to involuntarily turn away from him, once again taking in the sights and sounds of the busy room. Until that moment, she'd been holding herself together fairly well, but with Luke taking over the only task she'd had to focus on as a distraction, it was all too much. Sookie and Jackson were here? In this mess? Brought in on horrible little bed on wheels, blood all over, machines and wires attached every which way… It took only a few seconds before Lorelai was overcome by yet another bought of full-on, hiccupping tears.
Sookie was her best friend, aside from Rory and Luke. But Rory was her daughter-best-friend, and Luke was her guy-friend-turned-boyfriend-best-friend. Sookie was the traditional one, and the first true friend she'd made when she'd come to Stars Hollow and the Independence Inn when Sookie'd been commuting to the Inn on weekends from the CIA over in Hyde Park… The first person her age that hadn't looked down on her because she was an 18 year-old maid living in a shed with a two-year old daughter… And now her business partner… Her best friend…
Somewhere in her mind, she knew she was doing herself no one any good reminiscing and crying her eyes out, not Sookie, not herself, not any of the other people around her that were probably in the same situation as her…
One arm wrapped tightly around her own midsection, the other bent up upwards as she clenched her fist in from of her face, Lorelai pursed her lips, trying her best to fend off further tears, as she forced herself to try and think positively. After all, they didn't really know anything yet…
But the only other thing she could possibly focus on in the craziness of the room was Luke, and how utterly amazing he was being - now, fighting for some sort of information, and all night, with the kids, and the driving, and just holding her… A fresh round of tears sprung to her eyes.
At the same time, Luke had apparently finally reached a decibel level high enough to catch the attention of someone else with authority in the ER. Another doctor, slightly older than the intern, rushed over.
"Excuse me sir, is there something we can do for you?" she asked politely, if a bit patronizingly.
Now wary of anyone wearing a knee-length white coat, Luke toned nothing down, choosing merely to re-direct his tirade, "Yeah! You can tell me what the hell happened to my friends!"
The woman, more than used to short-tempered, irrational friends and family members, ignored Luke for a moment, raising a skeptical eyebrow over the counter towards the bored intern.
"Double MVA, about an hour ago. Husband and wife. They're not family," the younger doctor informed flatly, gesturing to Luke and Lorelai behind him.
"I apologize, but it is hospital policy to release privileged information to family members only," she explained simply, Luke's tone not having won him any brownie points towards any bending of the rules.
Luke practically bit her head off, "I know, I know what the goddamned policy is. I've already gotten that from this fountain of knowledge over here!" He pointed none-too-kindly at the intern.
By that point, the addition of another voice into the conversation had registered in Lorelai's blurry mind. She quickly whirled around, wide-eyed, clutching Luke's arm as she poised herself for any new information that might surface.
The doctor had opened her mouth to speak again and simply reiterate the fact that she was not in a position to release any information when she caught sight of Lorelai. She obviously hadn't noticed her before, or hadn't understood that she was with Luke, and whether it was some sort of subconscious understanding between females, or just pure pity at the sight of a broken woman with tear-stained cheeks and wide, hopeful eyes, the doctor softened a bit.
"Look Mr…" she began, trailing off.
"Danes," Luke snapped, "Luke Danes."
"Mr. and Mrs. Danes. Look, we can't officially tell you anything," she began, neither Luke nor Lorelai caring to correct her assumption. "But I was the attending for Jackson Melville. I can tell you that his family is here, and that they're in the waiting room on the surgical floor."
"Jackson's in surgery?" Lorelai spat out suddenly, disbelieving, "Or Sookie?"
The doctor balked, wanting to say more, "I can't… You should just go up there. Take a left at that corner towards the elevators, there'll be signs pointing you in the right direction."
"What about Sookie?" Lorelai pressed frantically, "His wife?"
"I'm sorry, I don't know…"
"That's fine, thank you," Luke cut in appreciatively, his tone back to civil immediately. Moving to steer Lorelai away towards the elevators, he urged in her ear, "Let's go."
Lorelai shuffled into motion at Luke's insistence, reluctantly leaving the doctor, who obviously knew something, behind. Scurrying along beside him, she ran her eyes over the myriad of signs littering the walls to try and figure out where it was they were supposed to go.
They waited in an awkward, nervous silence for the elevator, each desperate to find out what had happened to Sookie and Jackson, but also desperately afraid of what the answer to their question might be.
Just before the elevator reached their floor, Lorelai turned to look at Luke with frightened eyes, "Surgery?" she whispered meekly.
Luke had no idea what to say…He knew as well as she did what that could mean… But admitting that out loud wasn't an option.
Reaching for her hand again, he stroked her fingers with his thumb, offering the best response he could, "They do surgery on things like sprained wrists…" Luckily, the elevator reached their floor at that moment, and he was able to tear his eyes from Lorelai's, lest his expression be less than reassuring, as he suspected was the case.
Luke was foundering, and he knew it. He should be helping Lorelai, comforting her or something… And he just didn't know how to do it…
As the elevator doors opened, he jumped on the first thing he could think of to do for her – he grabbed the first person he saw, "Excuse me, we're looking for…"
But Lorelai was a step ahead. She'd quickly scanned the area, and caught a glimpse of someone who looked vaguely familiar in a reflection on a glass door she could just make out. "Wait, Luke…" She jogged quickly down the hallway, peering around the corner, "Mrs. Melville?"
She was greeted with a nod, though not one of recognition.
Seeing Lorelai enter whatever room it was that she was in front of, Luke absentmindedly thanked the person he'd originally stopped to talk to and hurried after Lorelai.
She was just explaining her presence to the elderly couple in front of her when he appeared behind her, "… sorry, maybe you don't remember me… us," Lorelai corrected, seeing that Luke had followed her. "Lorelai Gilmore, Sookie's friend? From the Inn?" she prompted fretfully.
A wave of acknowledgment washed over the weary faces of Jackson's elderly parents as they drew upon the memories of their son's wedding and other family get-togethers in Stars Hollow. Across the room sat yet another intern, this one a young woman in scrubs and with a far more pleasant demeanor about her than her counterpart downstairs. Mrs. Melville nodded in her direction, as if to confirm that yes, it was okay that Luke and Lorelai were there.
And another awkward silence. Lorelai certainly didn't want to drag these poor people back through whatever ordeal they'd gone through when they'd learned of what happened… But she had to know… She spoke up cautiously, her voice cracking, "We don't really know anything… Um, is… How are…?" She trailed off, the situation at hand having drained her of any eloquence she may have once possessed.
At her question, the intern rose from her seat, in a silent question to Jackson's parents on how she should handle the situation.
Luke and Lorelai's eyes darted back and forth apprehensively between the Melvilles and the intern – pauses were never good…
Mr. Melville eventually just waved his hand, indicating that they should be told whatever they wanted to hear.
The intern gave the Melvilles a sympathetic smile before turning to Luke and Lorelai, "Mr. Melville – Jackson – is currently being operated on. He sustained significant abdominal trauma, and the surgeons are making every attempt to repair the damage and stop any internal bleeding." She ended hesitantly, not sure what kind of reaction to expect from the pair.
"Oh my…" Lorelai sucked in a quick breath as Luke tensed behind her, "Will he…" She clasped a hand over her mouth, unable to even finish her question, not sure she actually wanted to know the answer.
"As I've told his parents here, Jackson's injuries are quite serious," the intern explained quietly, skirting the actual answer with practiced ease. "He's got an excellent team of doctors working on him."
Lorelai let out a soft whimper, leaning back against Luke as she squeezed her eyes closed tightly. They flew back open almost immediately as she sprang to life upon the realization that they'd only been told about Jackson, "And Sookie?" she pleaded.
Luke, not quite as focused on the intern as Lorelai, was sure he heard a muffled sob escape from the previously silent Mrs. Melville upon Lorelai's uttering of Sookie's name. He blinked hard, hoping that he'd heard wrong…
Lorelai hadn't heard, but she also hadn't heard anything from the hesitant intern yet either. Anxious, she cried louder, "What happened to Sookie!"
The intern took a deep breath and finally spoke, "Mrs. Melville was brought into the ER with her husband… Apparently the impact of the crash was on the passenger side. She received the brunt of the force…" She trailed off, not wanting to say the words… "We did everything we could…"
It was true, Luke realized…
"No!" Lorelai wailed, her hand flying to her gaping mouth and staggering as her legs went weak. She stumbled forward as her knees gave out involuntarily, forcing the petite intern to steady her. Sookie…
Still holding her up, the intern attempted to console Lorelai, "I'm so sorry…"
The sound of her words shook Luke from his stunned stupor. He couldn't just stand there… Springing to action, he raced to Lorelai's side, taking her from the younger woman. She was limp against him as her legs still failed to function properly, and her entire body convulsed with loud, wailing sobs.
Sookie… Of course Lorelai would be affected immensely, but Luke wasn't faring very well either. He was having a tough time holding himself together, nevermind holding Lorelai together as well, or even holding her up. He couldn't do it…
Pulling her even tighter to him, he lowered them both to the floor, draping Lorelai across his lap. Lorelai's arms were wrapped around his shoulders, her face buried against his neck as she cried for the loss of one of her best friends. Luke wanted to let himself go, he wanted to be able to do that… But Jackson was still alive, barely… And he had to hold out hope for him, didn't he?
Luke managed to blink back most of his tears, only a few stray streaks marking his rough cheeks. Instead of letting grief get the best of him, he focused his efforts on soothing Lorelai, trying to quiet her, rubbing her back… At some point in doing so, he locked gazes with Jackson's father. Realizing that he'd yet to formally acknowledge either of the Melvilles, Luke mouthed, "I'm so sorry…" to the elder man, offering his silent sympathy for their daughter-in-law, and unspoken hope for the recovery of their son.
And so the scene in the waiting room remained – Jackson's parents sitting numbly on an uncomfortable couch, waiting for any news from doctors in the operating room; the intern perched on a matching couch across the room, ready to console or inform at a moments notice; and Luke and Lorelai, still huddled together on the floor.
In time, Lorelai couldn't even muster up the energy to cry anymore. Having worn herself out, her sobs quieted to sniffles, the only thing she could manage on less than 3 hours of sleep. Eventually, numb, she slid herself off Luke's lap wordlessly. She stayed on the floor, but moved to lean up against the nearest wall. Her feeble efforts to drag Luke with her were the only sign she had retained any awareness of the goings-on around her.
By then it was just a waiting game. There was nothing anyone could do about Sookie. Every person in that waiting room was well aware of that. And they all knew that Jackson was still on the table…
For minutes, hours – no one really knew how long – they sat there, practically motionless: Lorelai curled up against Luke, one of his hands entangled with both of hers; Jackson's father wafting in and out of sleep; Mrs. Melville, awake, but with her eyes closed as she murmured prayers, her wrinkled fingers passing over the worn beads of a beloved rosary…
"You want coffee?" Luke asked quietly, wanting to feel as if he was doing something, anything…
Lorelai startled at the sound of his voice breaking the silence. Coffee… But she just shook her head weakly, the rest of her not even moving. "Don't leave," she murmured in a hollow voice.
Luke swallowed hard at her refusal – nothing had ever stopped her from drinking coffee before… Shifting, he put his arm over her shoulders, pulling her even closer, and breathing a sigh into her hair.
And so they sat.
He must have dozed off after that, for the next thing he remembered was being jerked awake as he felt Lorelai jump beside him, her elbow contacting his ribcage not far from where it had just a few hours earlier as a joke, before… Before everything…
"Wha…" he began, his brain fuzzy with sleep and curious as to what had caught Lorelai's attention so suddenly.
"Shh…" she hushed him harshly, head tilted as she listened.
Luke quieted, straining to hear whatever it was she was hearing. Footsteps… Luke tensed – news? He glanced at his watch – nearly 5 in the morning. Surely someone must know something by now…
Lorelai's face fell when the footsteps finally entered the room. No doctor bearing news, it was Jackson's older sister. Colleen? She couldn't be sure if that was the one that was Colleen… Probably was… In any case, she knew it was the sister who lived closest, but still a number of hours away, so her only arriving then made complete sense.
She watched Colleen race over to her parents, and the round of explanations, tears, and hugs that followed. She couldn't hear the full conversation, nor did she want to. Once was enough…
Eventually, as the still-present intern helped calm Colleen down and Mr. and Mrs. Melville resumed their stoic vigil, Colleen finally took in her surroundings, noticing Luke and Lorelai huddled together on the floor across the room. The intern, immediately noting her puzzlement, quickly explained who they were. Colleen nodded as recognition dawned on her, realizing that the pair on the floor did look familiar. Or at least the woman did… She offered a half-hearted smile of appreciation for their presence. Lorelai gestured awkwardly in return, not even able to force as much of a smile as Colleen had.
It was just over an hour later when the tense silence was broken for the final time.
Just after six o'clock, an aging doctor in full scrubs, right down to the matching cap and a surgical mask around the neck, entered the room, "Jackson Melville?"
In any other situation, the manner in which the six in the room simultaneously scrambled to their feet might have been comical.
But judging from the surgeon's grave expression, comedy was not an issue in this, the direst of circumstances. He spoke haltingly, he himself visibly pained by the words he was now faced with conveying to the family, "As you know, Jackson's internal bleeding was quite extensive,"
Lorelai's breath caught in her throat as Luke's fingers dug into her upper arm. It didn't sound like a good start…
The doctor pressed onward, "We did manage to stabilize him enough for the surgery, but once he got up here…" He trailed off as he watched faces fall. "With the volume of blood lost as a result of the trauma, and then the surgery, his heart stopped on the table. We've been shocking him for over an hour…"
And they knew.
The doctor's final words were a necessity to no one but himself, "He's gone too long without a heartbeat. I'm sorry…"
Jackson's mother began to weep softly, his father nodded in acceptance, perhaps already having resigned himself to the inevitability of such news. Colleen did her best to comfort her parents as the doctor and intern exited, making way for what Luke could only assume was a grief counselor or something.
As for him and Lorelai, they'd already shed so many tears… Hearing about Jackson just finally pushed the entire escapade to an even higher level of surreal. It just didn't seem real anymore – to have both of them gone… It had to be a dream.
It had to be, Lorelai tried to convince herself as she looked on blankly at Jackson's family in front of her. Or some grand joke at her expense. Any minute now, Sookie would jump out from behind a strategically placed gurney and yell, "Gotcha!" in her giggly, bubbly way… Or Jackson would run around the corner with fistfuls of carrots, complaining about how they too mealy. Or how they weren't mealy enough… Rory would walk in with Davy and Martha in a big double stroller, having been in on the scheme the whole time… She'd turn around, and Luke would be wearing a big fat mocking grin, teasing her that she got what she deserved for having dragged him into babysitting and making Sookie leave Martha so early…
Lorelai did turn around then. No such grin on Luke's face.
No joke, no balloons, no "You've just been Punk'd, Lorelai Gilmore!" Nothing. Just like what was left for Sookie and Jackson…
She wanted to cry, she really did. But after hours and hours crying already, hours and hours of waiting, she just felt deflated, and unable to process anything. It all seemed very anticlimactic, really. Jackson's parents were already being ushered in to see him one last time, and from what she could tell, Colleen was in the beginnings of a discussion over funeral arrangements with someone from hospital administration.
The room seemed to almost spin around Lorelai – everything had left her in a physically drained, autopilot-like state, but she had nothing to, there was nothing she could do. She felt helpless. So she did the only thing she could possibly think to do, wrapped her arms around Luke's neck, burying her face against his shoulder, letting out a sniffle every so often.
Luke felt much as she did, at a loss for words, not quite sure how to deal with the things that had been thrown at them. He welcomed her embrace, taking solace in the fact that at least they were able to be there for each other.
It wasn't long after when Colleen approached the pair, clearing her throat awkwardly beside them, "Sorry, Lorelai, right?"
Lorelai quickly disentangled herself from Luke, "Yes, Lorelai Gilmore," she verified. "And it's Colleen, right?"
Colleen confirmed with a small nod, before peering at Luke expectantly.
"Uh, Luke Danes, I'm a frie… was…" Luke kicked himself at his horrible choice of words. What the hell was someone supposed to say in a situation like this? He opted to finish with a simple, "I'm from Stars Hollow too."
Colleen nodded, offering a wan smile. She understood what Luke meant… "Thank you, thank you both for coming. You have no idea what that means to us…"
"Oh no, don't thank…" Lorelai protested, feeling horrible for not being the one t be comforting Colleen. She'd just lost her brother, and her she was thanking them? "Colleen," she stuttered, giving the woman an awkward hug, "I'm so sorry."
She got a defeated shrug from the older woman in response, "Well, there's not much we can do here at six in the morning," Colleen admitted, reality rearing its ugly head. "So I think I'm going to just take my parents home. They live closest to Stars Hollow…"
"Right, right…" Luke and Lorelai both just nodded in agreement, not sure of what else they could say.
"So, we'll get the kids on our way I guess?" Colleen asked, efficiency obviously having kicked into gear, taking over where emotion had left off, "You two were watching them?"
Lorelai's hand flew to her gaping mouth. She'd almost forgotten… There were children involved. "Oh my god, Davy…"
"We'll figure it out," Colleen assured her, still waiting for the answer to her original question.
Lorelai pulled herself back together, comforted by Luke rubbing her shoulder behind her. "Um, yeah, they're still home right now actually…" she explained, "Uh, my daughter, uh, and another neighbor came over…"
Colleen had gotten the information she needed, and driven by necessity, she began a mental to-do list, pacing about the small waiting room, "Ok, yeah. We'll get them on the way. And I guess I'll go home, get my things… I'll come back later on to start dealing with things… Beau won't do it, Mom and Dad won't be able to do it, and Erin can't either…"
"Colleen?" Luke interjected suddenly, "Anything we can do, really, just let us know." He knew from dealing with his Uncle Louie that none of what she was facing was an easy process, especially given that she and the rest of her family we exponentially more emotionally invested than he'd been with his Uncle…
"Yeah, oh god, yeah, just let me know, I can help and you can stay at the Inn…" Lorelai echoed him; she knew from Gran's funeral the year before exactly what Colleen and the rest of the Melvilles were up against…
"Thank you both," Colleen began genuinely, losing her train of thought as her parents re-entered the room.
Luke and Lorelai hung back silently as the family discussed their next move. Colleen had had much of it worked out in her head already, as only a few moments later the group was trudging solemnly across the parking lot, searching for their cars in the dim pink light of early morning.
The plan was just to head back to Stars Hollow, where the Melvilles would pick up Davy and Martha before Colleen dropped them off with her parents at their house. From then on, she'd head back to her own home in Southern Vermont just long enough to get her own family caught up on the situation before she turned back around with them and headed back to Stars Hollow.
Technically, neither Luke nor Lorelai really needed to go back to Sookie and Jackson's house; Colleen had promised to let them know if there was anything they could do to help. But Rory and Patty were still with the kids, and they wouldn't necessarily know the Melvilles… More than anything, Lorelai wanted to be the one to tell Rory. There was no telling how she'd handle the news, and she needed to be there for her…
The ride back to Stars Hollow was much like the ride to the hospital. Less anxiety, yes, but the air in the small cab of the truck felt heavy and depressing, keeping both Luke and Lorelai just as silent as they'd been for much of the night.
And the silence was driving Luke crazy. He didn't want to hear his own thoughts… Halfway through the drive, he began fiddling with the radio, just to have some sort of noise. But it was no use. Even as the music droned on, it was still just the two of them sitting there quietly, both trying to process everything running through their chaotic minds…
Before long, the two cars pulled up in front of Sookie and Jackson's house.
Inside, Rory had been perched apprehensively on the couch, staring out the window while she clutched the phone, anxious for any sort of news. At the sight of Luke's truck out front, she dropped the phone immediately, dashing out the door. "Mom?" she questioned urgently, barely even allowing Lorelai a chance to get out of the car.
Lorelai did her best to put on a brave face and a comforting smile for her daughter… It ended up looking more like a defeated shrug; her shoulders slumped as she willed herself not to cry again.
Rory knew immediately what that meant, and she shrank away from Lorelai, not wanting to believe it. Her face twisted in defiant disbelief, she turned to Luke, desperate for confirmation that it wasn't true, "Luke?" It couldn't be true…
Luke sent a helpless glance in Lorelai's direction before turning back to Rory sadly, shaking his head ever so slightly.
Looking as if she'd been punched in the stomach, Rory folded her arms across her waist, gnawing at her lower lip as she fought valiantly to keep her threatening tears at bay.
Seeing Rory like that suddenly gave Lorelai the strength she'd been lacking all night. Somehow finding a way to switch roles and play the strong, dependable one, she ran over to Rory, wrapping her arms around her and cradling her against her chest. "It's ok babe, it's ok," she said softly, "Let it out…"
Rory's sobs grew louder at her mother's words. Over her shoulder, Luke questioned Lorelai with his eyes – What could he do to help? Nodding towards the house, Lorelai gestured for him to go inside with Jackson's family, to talk to Patty, help get the kids, whatever needed to be done.
Lorelai stayed out on the lawn, swaying gently with Rory as she cried, rocking her, shushing her, smoothing her hair.
Rory had already begun to calm down slightly when Lorelai caught sight of Luke exiting the house, the others just behind him.
"You alright to get out of here?" Lorelai asked Rory, pulling back to look expectantly into her eyes, "We'll go home?"
Also noticing the group leaving the house, Rory nodded, sniffling. With an arm around her shoulder, Lorelai steered Rory over to her little sedan, putting her in the passenger seat. "Sit tight for a second, ok?" Lorelai hesitated when Rory didn't respond, but her breathing was a little calmer, so she reluctantly left her there, heading back up the driveway towards Colleen and Luke.
The Melvilles were all at Colleen's car, trying to figure out the best seating arrangement, given the lack of infant seats and the lap-holding that would be required until new ones could be bought.
Luke quickly closed the space between him and Lorelai as she approached, holding out a small brown leather bag to her, "Here, Miss Patty said this was Rory's…"
"Thanks," Lorelai reached in, fishing for Rory's car keys.
"Is she…" Luke stammered, shrugging his shoulder in the direction of Rory's car, "Is she ok?
Lorelai started to answer, but trailed off when Colleen approached, holding a sleepy Davy.
None of them really knew what to say…
Luke eventually spoke first, his stilted question stating the obvious, but breaking the silence nonetheless, "So, you're heading out?"
"I'll be back here later," Colleen replied, gesturing to where her parents were, "After I get them home."
"And they're going with them?" Lorelai asked, referring to Martha and Davy, "You've got all their stuff?" she wondered aloud.
Colleen hitched Davy higher on her hip, speaking more to him than Lorelai, "I think we're ok." She did refocus on the adults in front of her after a moment, "Um, I grabbed some of their papers from in there, I think I've got your numbers in here. Would you mind…?"
"No, no, go ahead, really," Lorelai gushed, "Anything you need help with, just let me know. Or Luke."
A smile of appreciation. "I will. Thank you Lorelai, Luke."
Colleen lingered a moment longer, as Lorelai looked as if she had something else to say right on the tip of her tongue… "Colleen, I'm so sorry…" she spat out after a long pause.
"I know. Thanks."
And that was that. She and Davy headed over to the car, Davy was placed in his grandfather's lap, and they were off.
Suddenly alone together, as Patty had already disappeared to alert the town of the news, Luke eyed Lorelai, slightly skeptical of her newfound composure, "You ok?"
Lorelai let out a tired sigh, "Yeah, I just…" Her words faded out as she watched Rory sitting in the car, "We should get home. I don't really want her driving right now…."
Luke raised an eyebrow in concern, "Are you ok to do it?"
"I'm fine…" she assured him, pursing her lips thoughtfully before continuing, "Just… Will you come with us?" she asked shyly.
Luke's gaze darted from Rory's car, to his truck, to Lorelai's jeep, also still sitting there from the night before. It seemed silly to all go in one car…
"I mean, come over? In your truck?" Lorelai clarified, practically reading his mind, "Or the jeep, since that's still here too…"
Luke readily agreed, "I'm right behind ya. Go." He quickly squeezed her to him, placing a brief kiss on her temple as she closed her eyes and smiled gratefully. As he headed away towards his truck, Lorelai took a deep breath. Time to be strong again, she told herself as she made her way to Rory's car, time to be the mom…
Luke had stuck to his word, following right behind Lorelai as she drove, and they pulled into her driveway not five minutes later.
Lorelai was surprised to see Rory jump out of the car immediately, after not having moved a muscle since she'd placed her in the seat back at Sookie's. Watching Rory scurry across the lawn, head down and hugging herself, and then fumble with the front door, Lorelai knew she had to get in there. She shot Luke an apologetic glance and raced after her daughter.
She caught her in the foyer, just past the stairs. Placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, she pulled Rory back towards her, "You ok?"
"Are you?" Rory snapped pointedly, hating stupid questions.
Lorelai ignored the venom in Rory's voice – they were all upset, and she didn't mean it… "No," she answered honestly, "But I asked you first."
Rory crumbled, mad at herself for taking out her messy emotions on Lorelai, "I… I can't even really process now, you know?" Lorelai nodded sympathetically as she watched Rory's big blue eyes fill with tears again, just as hers already had so many times. "I mean, they're…" Rory couldn't say the words, choking on tears.
Pulling her close for another comforting hug, Lorelai tried as best she could to calm Rory down, "I know babe, I don't know what to do here either…" she sniffled.
The two Lorelais were still in that position when Luke finally made it up to the house a few moments later. Clutching each of their purses, which he'd so chivalrously rescued from the cars, he clamored in through the front door. However, upon catching a glimpse of them, he hung back, lingering in the foyer, not wanting to intrude.
Another moment later, Rory pulled away from her mother, smearing the tears on her cheeks as she gestured over her shoulder to her room, "I think," she started, "I think I'm just gonna try to sleep for a while… Didn't get much in before…"
Lorelai glanced wearily at the clock across the room as Rory spoke – she was surprised to find it only a few minutes before eight… It felt more like it should eight years from now, for all they'd been through in the past six hours…
Those six hours finally catching up to her, she began to think Rory's idea was a good one – she couldn't torture herself by dwelling on the night's… happenings… if she was asleep… Looking down adoringly at Rory, Lorelai's wished she could do something more for her… All she could do was reach out to smooth Rory's hair around her face as she replied, "'K… Me too, I think, but you need anything, wake me up, ok?"
"Sure," Rory managed a weak smile for Lorelai's sake. But she hesitated, not turning toward her room immediately.
Lorelai tilted her head in confusion for a split second before Rory threw herself at her, hugging her tightly, choking out, "Mom…"
"I know babe… Go on…" Lorelai blinked back tears as she shooed Rory off to her room. Watching her go, she crossed her arms in front of her chest, willing herself not to cry again.
Luke watched for a moment, waiting, before he eased up behind her, cautiously brushing her upper arm. Lorelai jumped, sucking in a quick breath at the contact, but closed her eyes and leaned into him as he moved behind her. Still carrying the two small handbags from the cars, he turned just long enough to place them on the small phone table beside him. He was just turning back around, moving to pull Lorelai into a full embrace, when she suddenly turned, racing up the stairs without a word.
Confused, Luke took half a second to make sure the purses were securely on the small table, then flew up the stairs after her.
He found her kneeling in the middle of her bed, face buried in her hands, crying harder than he'd seen all night, her thin frame shaking violently with each breath.
"Hey, hey," he murmured, rushing to her side, "You were just fine downstairs…" He trailed off, the questions obvious in his voice.
For the countless times she'd already found herself doing so in the past twelve hours, Lorelai melted into Luke's arms.
Though it was muffled by the flannel of his shirt, Luke was sure he heard her mutter, "Rory," in response to his unspoken inquiry.
Not that hearing Rory's name cleared up his confusion over her sudden about-face. He'd thought she was doing well… Pulling back from her, he tried to coax an elaboration out of her with his insistent gaze.
And Lorelai knew she owed him that much – she was laying the full brunt of her bipolar set of emotions on him… Not able to bring her head up to face him, she swiped a fist across her tear-streaked cheeks and spoke quietly from behind her curtain of tangled dark hair, sniffling, "I can't just break down in front of her…"
Luke's heart practically broke for her. So many years she'd had to put up that strong façade to protect her daughter… And even now, with Rory twenty years old, in unfathomable circumstances, she was still putting all that pressure on herself. "Yes you can…" he insisted, placing his hand on her cheek to direct her gaze up towards him. "There's no rules about this…"
"I have to keep it together for her, she's got no one else to lean on right now, you know?"
Luke brushed off her rebuttal, placing her hands on her shoulders and staring her square in the eyes, "You do not have to put an act on for her. She's already four years older than you were when you had her – she's more than capable of taking over the Wonder Woman role for herself. It doesn't always have to be you, Lorelai. And she knows you better than anyone, and understands more than anyone how much this affects you."
"I know, I know she does…" Lorelai hung her head again, knowing Luke was right, logically. But logic wasn't the same… "It's just…" How could she make him understand?
After a moment, she tilted her head up again, gazing at him with the wonder of realization through blood-shot, tired eyes. "You do it."
Luke's brow furrowed in confusion as Lorelai continued.
"You do…" she reiterated, confirming it in her own mind as well. "You're doing the same thing right now," she asserted gently, "Luke, you can't be as ok with all of this as you seem." Luke's gaze dropped from hers, almost in shame. "Don't do it for me," Lorelai implored, her voice soft with sincerity.
Luke gave no indication of a reaction, save for clenching his eyes closed and exhaling a long, slow sigh.
Lorelai reached out and gave one of his hands a squeeze of reassurance, "Luke…"
And suddenly he tore his hand from her grasp as the floodgates opened, "Yes, I feel like shit ok?" he shouted, his arms waving emphatically. "Yes, I'm upset about everything, but I feel like shit because that's not even all I'm upset about!" Lorelai looked on in awe as he continued, never having expected such an outburst, "And it's so fucking selfish; I hate myself for thinking of anything but them!"
"Luke, it's ok… There's no rules here, rememb…" came Lorelai's timid attempt at placating him. It didn't work.
"Hartford!" Luke cut her off, leaping off the bed to his feet, "The stupid road to Hartford! You and Rory have driven that thing at least once a week for years now…" His voice began to crack under the weight of the implications of his own words. "How many times could it have been…." He couldn't finish the sentence. Lowering himself back to a sitting position on the bed, his back to Lorelai, he choked out enough of conclusion, "All I keep thinking is that it so easily could have been you…"
Lorelai stared, stunned, as Luke's shoulders began to shake in sobs as he showed more emotion than he had all night. The fear that he'd voiced hadn't even crossed the farthest corner of her mind. Until now. It could have been any of them…
"Luke…" her own voice wavered as she crawled across the bed toward him. She turned his damp face to her and began kissing his tears from his cheeks, even as they mingled with her own.
Luke did the same for her as they cried together, for the loss of their friends, and for the fear of what could have been…
In time, tears slowed, and lips finally met lips as they each sought comfort in the fact that the other was still there to be able to hold them, to kiss them… Lorelai leaned back onto the bed, drawing Luke down on top of her as a further concrete reminder that she still had him.
Luke stiffened as she did, hesitant to let things go any farther. It seemed slightly wrong, in light of the circumstances…
Lorelai just gazed up at him, blue eyes still bright and shiny with yet unshed tears, "Please?" she whispered, "I need you Luke…"
He never could deny her anything. Not when she was in such pain… Not when he was in such pain… He needed her – and this – as much as she did.
So clothes were shed, piece by piece. Kisses drifted back away from lips, trailing over bare skin. Hands wandered in loving caresses and gentle strokes…
It wasn't about sex. It wasn't about passion or even making love. It was Luke and Lorelai, soft, tender, and slow, taking comfort in the physical presence of each other, the tangible confirmation that they were there for each other through the worst of times, and that neither one of them was going to change that.
As they came to a bittersweet climax, Lorelai wept softly against Luke's bare chest – for what, she didn't even know anymore. She clung to him desperately as they lay, still tangled together. It was in that position that she cried herself to sleep. Long hours and emotional overload had finally gotten the best of her.
Luke watched her, wiping away any stray tears that periodically escaped her closed eyes, waiting for the rhythmic breathing of slumber to set in. She had finally dozed off, looking more peaceful than any of them had in hours, when Luke recalled her instructions to Rory downstairs.
Wonder Woman or not, Rory didn't need to walk in to find her mother sleeping in nothing but disheveled bed sheets. Awkwardness was the last thing the three of them needed thrown into the mix, especially that day.
Inching away from her ever so slowly, so as to not disturb her, Luke slid away from Lorelai, scanning the floor for his clothes. He quickly yanked his boxers on, and tossed on the t-shirt he'd had under his flannel for good measure. Realizing quickly that she couldn't exactly just throw on, and sleep in, the skin tight jeans and elaborately embroidered camisole with the glittery things all over it that she'd been wearing earlier, he crept over to her dresser and crouched down to yank open the bottom drawer.
Before he could even grab a tank top and pajama shorts for her, he heard a rustling sound behind him as Lorelai stirred.
When she did, and didn't feel Luke beside her in doing so, she shot up to a sitting position, the sheet falling away from her bare chest as her eyes went wide with panic, "Luke?"
Shit… Luke snatched up whatever was on the top in the drawer and stood back up, hurriedly putting himself back in Lorelai's line of sight to calm her.
It worked. Lorelai was already breathing a deep sigh of relief, and feeling quite silly as Luke crawled back into bed beside her.
"Hey, hey…" he soothed her, wiping away yet another stray tear, "I'm right here."
Lorelai nodded sheepishly and leaned against his shoulder, embarrassed at her little outburst.
"You told Rory to come get you if she needed you," he explained, dropping a kiss on her head and placing the balled-up shorts and shirt in her hands. "You've gotta be clothed…"
Knowing he was right, Lorelai slipped into the pajamas wordlessly. Only after she got herself situated back under the covers did she look up at Luke gratefully, "Thanks." On the surface, it may have seemed a thank you for the clothes… It was for everything. Which Luke knew. He just pulled her to him in response, settling them together to sleep – probably they only peaceful reprieve they'd get over the next few days.
He was just starting to nod off when Lorelai's voice, uncharacteristically restrained, brought him back to consciousness. "Luke?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't leave anymore?" she beseeched, more affected by waking up without him than she'd like to admit.
Luke rubbed her bare arm reassuringly as he closed his eyes once more, "You got it…"
The events of the previous night had taken their toll on them, emotionally, physically, everything. Spent, they drifted off to sleep together, though they knew there was so much more they'd have to face and deal with once they woke again later that afternoon.
To be continued…