HIMYM-The Never Ending Story…

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended

Summary: Ted fesses up the rest of the story to his kids. And others…

Note: Before you jump on me if you prefer to stick to ending one as aired, fine by me. But they did create an upbeat alternate ending which can be viewed (sorry can't put the web link up on ffnet but try google search or youtube or go to my Buffy Rebecca verse in a few days.

And oh, come on. After that Canadian rehersal dinner and the proposal, how could Barney ever let Robin go? And you know she'd kill him first. You want "in the real world", fine…Robin's not right for him and Ted's a fool to risk his happiness over the wrong girl but the right best friend

Part II…

"Kids, you know your mom is the most sensible and level-headed collector of useless antiquities and random facts we know. Far more so than yours truly.

What you may not know is, she's quite the schemer when she feels it's important enough. But more of that later… It does tally with her level-headed ness, though.

Anyway… Only the risk of hurting someone, even as nasty a jerk as Darren, could keep her from being that level-headed, sensible person. And when it's a question of helping someone she loves, it's level-headed overdrive, to as you kids know all too well." (Cut to shot of Luke in gym shirt and shorts, seated on couch. "Ok, listen up, Mosby." Tracy at wall, Ted behind couch manning projector, she pointing to image on wall. 'How to Avoid Mosbian Humiliation in PE.', "Lesson one…Being there without being there. First, we find some piece of equipment that can never be repaired…And declare yourself able to fix it. Class over, you are still twiddling with it while having an opportunity to watch all the geekiest guys make their mistakes, which you will note for discussion here at home after dinner tomoorow")

"So…Her reaction to my news was the same level-headed and sensible manner, with a bit of that overdrive."

….

Sloan-Kettering Institute, one hour after Ted's previous departure…

"I don't care if there are forty patients waiting to be tested, not twenty!" Tracy fuming at desk nurse as she holds infant Penny, Ted looking sheepish, holding Luke.

"Honey, you and the kids were tested during your pregnancy…" he tried. "I mean I want a retest to be sure but…"

Hard stare wilting him…

"That's anxious Mom not Accusing Fiancée…" she explained. "I believe you. Barney's and our testing was too through. And Darren's widow called me the other night, crying again. It's got to have been him when you punched him. I should've put two-and-two together when your doc said the trouble seemed to be your liver and got you over here yesterday. But…" wan smile. "Good job, Sherlock…Score one for the other Mosby boy." She nodded,

"I'm sorry, Miss Mc Connell." The middle-aged nurse eyed your Mom as I noted Luke was….(Uh, I'll erase that. No need to embarrass my son.)….The middle-aged nurse eyed your Mom as I held Luke.

"…We can't do a blood test on your children or you just right now but I can schedule you…"

"I want my kids tested…Now!" Tracy, furious.

"No. Not now!" the nurse, with a pretty good glare of her own, one backed by years of suffering, beloved kids and adults winning her heart in that waiting room, only to start on what all too often still was a short and awful road.

"There are all these people waiting. They all need their results. too. I'll put you on for the next available or you can consult your regular doctor or a medical clinic. Here, I can give you a list." The nurse, calming, more kindly at Tracy's nervous tearing up.

"Sorry, thank you. " nod. Sigh as the nurse checked.

"I'm sorry to embarrass you, honey." She turned to me.

"Not a chance, you were great." Ted noted, beaming. "Thanks."

"And I don't mean to ignore what you must be going through…Oh, Ted." She started weeping.

"Tuesday, 7:30, the Rudman Clinic. They'll take good care of you." The nurse smiled, handing Tracy a slip. "And don't worry, your fiancée's right. Your tests before suggest there's no problem for any of you. Mr. Mosby, we'll see you on Monday, 1 pm."

"Too late, this afternoon." Tracy bristled again. The nurse frowing back…Eyes locked.

"I'll see what I can do but it's best to wait for a few more tests and review the options Dr. Friedman gave him."

"We'll be back this afternoon after we find a sitter." Tracy, grimly. "Come on, Ted." She pulled Ted along.

"You wanna get lunch?" he tried, as elevator doors closed to leave them alone. She on phone, waving him off as she adjusted Penny in her arms.

"Lily? Tracy. No, lets not talk about that till I see Ted's doctor…This afternoon. Can you mind the kids with Daisy and Marvin in an hour? Just for the afternoon, you said you'd be home early today. Oh, great. No, no time for you to talk to Ted now, you'd both start and then I'd start. Right. Right. Tonight? Great." She hung up.

"We'll be having dinner with the Ericksons at McLarens'. No drinking for you." She eyed me. "Ok, you get the cab, I'll call Barney."

Barney? I blinked.

"Hell we're waiting till Tuesday. Though we will repeat then, just to be 100%." She noted.

Barney?

"Barney? Yes, it's us. Barney?! Stop crying and put Robin on the phone! And is your babes' blood lab still up and running? Great. No, you can't talk to Ted right now. Fine, call him on your cell. Put Robin on…Robin?" she looked at Ted as the elevator opened, on the ground floor.

"Get the cab, then talk to Barney. And try not to cry, you'll scare the kids."

(Yes, kids…I cried when Barney called me, in the cab, crying himself. But, to be fair to two manly bros, Robin was bawling like…["I was not!" "Were too. Tracy had to tell you to buck up and make sure Barney's lab was fully functional." "Oh, yeah…Right. Your wussie fantasy Robin blubbering for poor Ted…Just like she's gonna go running from my Barney to you…" "Hey?! That took years, in my fantasy. And you did cry." "Ok, I cried. It was upsetting." "Right. Look, fantasy Robin 2.0, 2020, I'm sorry to you and Barney, about the fantasy divorce and all…" "You oughta be."]…Anyway, Aunt Robin and Uncle Barney were both very upset about my bad news, but as always with your mom pressing them, they came through and we got you both tested, courtesy the ex-Player King of NYC. God, it was kinda neat to see how Uncle Barney managed it, for real. His little lab was amazing. And Aunt Robin, as you can imagine, was so proud… Hard as it might be to imagine when one thinks of the former purpose, it was great that it was the ingenuity of your Uncle Barney that confirmed you kids and your mom were safe and clear. Though your mom was not so happy when I suggested we take full advantage of Uncle Barney's assist.)

"What do you mean, we stop having sex?" she frowned as we rode home, bound for our dropoff date with Aunt Lily…And I could guess, Uncle Marshall, rushing from his courtroom.

"I'm just saying, now we know you're safe, it makes sense we keep you so."

"I've been reading up on Hep C, it's not that easy to transmit. Besides, we just use a condom. You have heard of them?" she eyed me.

"Lets talk about it later."

(Kids, your mother is a reasonable and open person on many subjects. This wasn't one of them.)

"I'm not becoming a nun, Ted. We'll be careful, I'll be fine."

"Tracy. I've already gotten really bad news today. I don't want the follow-up to be worse."

And of course, as usual, I'd said the worst thing I could.

"You think anything could be worse, for me?" she burst into tears. "Look at me…" trying to wipe sobs… "I told you not to scare the kids…And you go and get me all… It's ok , Penny. Mommy's just a little upset over your dad's denseness, again." She cooed to the worried baby in her arms.

"Sorry…"

"Yeah, well, lets get to Lily's and get me in shape to face that nurse and your doc. We gotta get this put right." She looked at me, those big eyes, tear-filled but determined. "No one welchs me out of a delayed wedding and a long married life, Mosby."

"Well, speaking of weddings…"

"Later…" she put up a hand. "Barney and Robin really came through for us today…" she smiled.

"They did." Smile. "Who'd've thought Barney's vd detection system would end up helping us keep our kids safe."

"The Stinson Sexual Safety System, patent pending…Guaranteed to provide peace of mind to parents of randy teens as well as player kings. No wonder Robin insisted on keeping it." Tracy chuckled.

"And don't think we won't be using it on every kid our kids bring home." Ted, stern nod.

"Absolutely." Tracy agreed, smiling. "Did Luke…?"

(Yes, that does explain my and your mom's ritual of offering that fancy natural soda to every friend you bring home…Even in day care and kindergarten. And lets just say you lost your pacifier, Luke, ok?)

….

(Now kids, you know your Aunt Lily, however much she tries to build up Uncle Marshall, is the true rock of the Erickson family…However, this one was pretty hard to be solid and rocky about, given she was worried not only about me, her old friend…Tracy, her relatively new friend…Our kids…Her old best friends Robin and Barney…And above all, naturally, Marshall…My best friend. For whom, my news had been devastating… So, though, she tried her rockiest, it wasn't easy to face me that afternoon. She, back from her morning round of kindergarten, which she'd resumed teaching, as a substitute, in combination with her ongoing work as the Captain's art buyer/connoisseur since her and family's return home from Italy.)

"Hey Ted, Tracy…Oooh hello, lil' Penny…Luke, how big you're getting'…" she cooed. "We're so looking forward to having you guys this afternoon." She beamed at the kids. "Tracy, you wanna put Penny in Daisy's crib in the kids' room. Ted, big boy Luke can go in the playpen with Marvin…" she indicated the playpen.

"You need a minute." Tracy eyed her.

"Make it ten, please….?" Lily asked. Tracy nodding and carrying Penny off, closing the Erickson kids' bedroom door.

"Ted?! What the hell were you thinking?!" Lily, hitting Ted on arm…Ow…He rubbed arm.

"Sorry, sorry…That's not gonna break like in that cancer story on TV last Sunday?" she asked.

"No…I'm fine."

"No, you're not, Ted. Why didn't you tell us sooner?!"

"Lily." Sigh. "I just found out for sure this morning. I honestly didn't know."

"Marshall's a wreck, you know." She shook head. "Oh, Ted…" she hugged him, then pulled back as quick. "It is safe to hug you, right? I mean for my kids' sake? Oh, I'm sorry, that's sounds awful."

"Yeah, it's ok to hug…Just like with HIV." Wan smile.

"I'm sorry…So sorry, Ted. Damn you, I shouldn't be …" she suddenly fumed. "What were you doing? Even Barney didn't catch anything in all those bang ups…"

"It wasn't from a 'bang-up'. At least not as I can deduce."

She gave sour look. "What, the Mosby boys are on the case, again?"

"As a matter of fact…" arch look.

"Ted…" frown. "You do know my money would be on Jeanette."

"No, she's clean on this one. I ruled her out…Or rather, Tracy's calling her and threatening to cut out her liver for testing did. She was tested before her wedding, she's ok. It looks like it was Darren, from Tracy's band?"

"Darren….?!" Eyes turning red. "ARE…YOU….SURE?"

"Sure as I can be…" sigh. "He died of liver failure six months ago…Hep C positive, his widow'd called Tracy a few months ago and has kept calling since…We'd forgotten my story about hitting him. After I ruled out Jeannette since her past tests were negative, I remembered I'd hit him right in the mouth. I may be wrong but…Seems the most likely candidate." Shrug. "We'll be checking with anyone else I can think of I…Partnered up with…We already called Stella…." Smile. "Tony thought for a minute I was getting back at them for Wedding Brides I, II, III but she's ok."

"I see…" calmer now. "Poor guy, much as I'd like him to rot in Hell. Is his wife ok?"

"She was infected but they're treating it. His son is ok. Past girls they're checking on. Though of course, he got it somewhere too."

"Yeah. Ted…? How's Tracy?" she sat down on sofa and motioned for him to join her.

"She's good…You know. She's strong. And the kids are ok, you know…"

"Yeah, Robin and Tracy each called me…Thank God for the Stinson Sexual Safety System, patent pending."

"We'll confirm next week but it matches up with the past results so, yeah…Thank God…" woebegone look.

"Ted…" she hugged him. "Oh, my poor Ted."

"Oh, Lily…" he sobbed in her arms. "Why did this have to happen now? Now? Just when everything was going so well. Tracy, the kids, the house…My new building…Did you see my spot in Architecture New York, 'Ted Mosby, Promising New Architect'?" He looked up at her.

"Yeah…And, yeah…"

"I don't want to die, not now, Lily."

"Oh, Ted…The doctors?"

He sighed, sitting up. "They said it's hopeful, these days…But it's pretty serious."

"You know we'll do everything we can. Barney and Marshall won't leave a stone unturned, you know that."

(Kids, I should explain that even though your mom and I and Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall and on very rare occasions, when she's mad at him, Aunt Robin, still have some fun at Uncle Barney's expense, Aunt Lily wasn't simply talking with regards to him. As you both know, he found the Dyad Institute for Aunt Robin…And it made sense that the Chief of Emerging New Technologies at Gotham National Bank, former President of Development and Research, and ex-hippie/would be Peace Corps volunteer, Barney Stinson, would. I didn't finish his career story in my earlier version but after he destroyed his old boss and brought in the feds, Barney was the man in charge…No one else at Gotham, not yet arrested, knew the various global projects…Good and not-so-good like he did. So, within a few months after some dust settled, he was appointed acting President of Development and Research…And finally, the wanna be world saver in Uncle Barney kicked in, with the power to really do some good, backed by his wife who kept him informed and was informed by him as to where help was needed and where Gotham's money could make a difference. He already had a huge list, he'd been waiting for years for his chance and kids, he made the most of it. With the help of a certain lawyer uncle of yours who, on returning home after a year in Italy, needed a job and wanted one that mattered. He and Barney became a force to be reckoned with, changing the lives of many people around the world. I don't say everything Gotham National did after their takeover was good and noble, but I can say, with confidence, everything the team of Erickson and Stinson, Assistant to the President and President of Development and Research, was great. After getting things on track, Uncle Barney created his current job, allowing him more flexible hours to be with Aunt Robin and the kids while Uncle Marshall achieved his dream of becoming a judge at last, in Queens. Now, in 2025, Uncle Barney and Aunt Robin, now cutting back on her reporting travels, travel the world doing good, as young Bareny Stiinson always dreamed, just in a different way from what he'd once envisioned. Supporting ethical and sustainable development, helping startups all over the world while requiring they stick to ethical business models. So there really was no one more likely to overturn every stone and find the right one that could help me….)

"I know…" wan smile. "I know I'm just panicking…Old Ted the worrywart…How do you guys and Tracy put up with me?"

"It's not easy but hey, we don't see you that much as we used to, so…." Impish grin. "But we'll be seeing you a lot more. We won't abandon you and Tracy, Ted."

"I know. Welll…We'd better get her back in here. She'll think it wasn't Robin I used to be crazy about. Plus, good as she is with kids…"

"Yeah, but how's about I go see her first. I think she needs to talk to someone as much as you did." Smile.

"Good ole Ted, never able to see that others are hurting too." He sighed. "Sorry…"

"Don't be…You're entitled and your second thought was for her. Good old Ted, my hero, who always took care of us, that's how I view it." Lily beamed.

"Really?" warm smile… "I hope you guys believe I always wanted to take care of everybody…And I don't mean some revenge fantasy of an angry dying guy in a movie."

"You always did and do…" she patted him. "Ok, keep an eye on these two guys…" she indicated the play pen in the middle of the room and made for the door to the kids' bedroom, opening door after tapping softly, and immediately closing.

"Ye…ah…" Ted eyed the two boys in the playpen. "Just us guys here, eh, fellas?"

He turned at the sound of an agonized cry from behind the door…

No….Give her a moment with Lily. Lily will take care of it, she always takes care of us, he smiled.

"Long as we're alone, three bros together, boys, let me tell you a few stories you will not believe, about your Uncle Barney…"