Disclaimer: If you honestly believe that I'm the creator of Death Note, you're further removed from reality than I am.
Since they had moved into the purpose-built high-rise, L's mood had sharply declined, and Light's patience with it. Whilst the young detective was hardly the most sociable of people at the best of times, his current depressed state had rendered him almost unbearable. He spent most of his days sulking and doing very little else, and was even less mindful of the needs of others than usual. The other members of the task force didn't seem bothered. In fact, Light suspected that L's apparent disinterest in the Kira case was something of a relief to them - he supposed that having L scrutinising everything they did was akin to an amateur actor having an award-winning screen legend in the audience of their play. They went about their work as usual, aware of L's low disposition but untroubled by it. The fact that L expressed his melancholy by expressing himself even less than usual meant that they were able to just ignore it. Light wasn't. The sharp-minded, strangely likable young man he had once been chained to had become more sullen and petulant than the most hormonal of teenagers. He had to put up with the sulking twenty-four hours a day. He had been forced to sacrifice some of his basic needs and wishes to L's mood, and he was getting sick of it. What he wanted, more than anything in the world, was to just have the old L back.
That, and a shower.
Light Yagami had not had a shower for three days now. Just thinking about it made his skin crawl. Three days! Admittedly, he had gone a lot longer without bathing whilst in confinement, but then he had been a suspect and nothing more. Now, whilst he may still be a suspect in L's mind, he was also a member of the task force - surely that merited a certain amount of freedom? A certain degree of comfort? A certain level of personal hygiene? He only wanted a shower… yet L seemed unwilling to grant this most simple of wishes. They had showered together every morning for a week before the move, a task far simpler and more enjoyable than Light could have imagined due to the extremely effective methods L had devised to carry out everyday actions whilst being chained - why the sudden change? Instead of wordlessly shuffling to the shower as part of the routine they had fallen into, L made his way straight into the main office first thing in the morning and just sat, sulking. Just because L was upset over having been wrong about Kira shouldn't mean Light should be punished in this way. But how to get L into the shower? Do something that would mean he would have to shower, of course.
Light Yagami had a plan - he was about to play dirty.
--
Light opened up the internal email program that all of the computers in the building had installed. The purpose of the system was to enable all the of the members of the task force to share any files or information they might find quickly and easily with one another, without fear of anyone on the outside hacking into the documents. The system was programmed to instantly send the same message to every computer logged onto the internal network, but it would be easy for Light to block the connection between his computer and all but one of the others… Shooting a glance over his shoulder - L was still staring blankly at the tiled floor… good - he began to type.
Hi Matsuda.
I was just wondering if you could do me a favour? I need to keep this a secret from Ryuzaki, so please don't tell anyone. Reply directly to this message if you can help.
Light
He clicked 'Send' and waited. Light hoped that Matsuda wouldn't spoil things by announcing that he'd got an email before he opened it, and glanced nervously over his shoulder to gauge the young officer's reaction. Thankfully, Matsuda frowned curiously at the new message appearing in his inbox, but said nothing. He didn't even look over at Light. Clearly he was capable of being sensible in times of great urgency…
It seemed to Light as though hours had passed before he received a reply. Eventually…
Hey Light!
How's things? You sure seem to be working hard!
What do you want me to do? Is it Ryuzaki's birthday or something?
Touta :-D
Oh. So that was Matsuda's first name.
Thanks Matsuda.
No, it isn't Ryuzaki's birthday - the reason I want to keep this a secret from him is that he played a little trick on me a few days ago and I want to get my own back on him. I need you to make an excuse to go out and get a few things, then…
Light outlined his plan as thoroughly as he could to ensure that Matsuda didn't get it wrong. He was loath to have to rely on someone else like this, but needs must. He just hoped Matsuda wouldn't ask what kind of trick L had played on him… He didn't want to have to admit to what had happened on the first night he had spent with L…
…Don't worry about Ryuzaki finding out it was you who helped me - there are no cameras in our room anyway, and I won't tell.
Light
Light also hoped that Matsuda would believe that the world's top detective would be unable to work out which of the few people on the task force had helped him out…
Thankfully, Matsuda seemed to have no problems with carrying out his plans. Light caught a glimpse of the young officer grinning at his computer screen before he received another message.
LOL! See you later Light!
XD
Soon after Light had received the message, Matsuda stretched animatedly and got out of his seat.
"Man, I'm stiff! I've gotta go stretch my legs - anyone want me to pick anything up while I'm out?"
The others shook their heads, and Matsuda left the building. It was only a matter of time now before Light's plan went into action…
--
Two and a half hours later, Matsuda returned. As subtly as he could manage, he flashed a thumbs-up sign to Light to signal that the trap was in place.
Exactly as planned…
"Ryuzaki - I'm not feeling too good," Light sighed, trying to sound as pitiful as he could. He felt terrible, tricking a friend like this but… needs must. "Would you mind if I took a lie down for a while?"
L finally looked up, peering at Light with a vaguely curious expression.
"You don't feel well? You look okay…"
"Mm… Yeah - I've got a bit of a headache from looking at the screen so much, that's all really. I'd still like to lie down for a bit though."
L shrugged.
"Thanks Ryuzaki."
The pair got up and headed towards the door. Light tried to ignore the fact that Matsuda was grinning conspiratorially at him as he went past. He and L exited into the corridor, and walked up the stairs to their room.
"Matsuda-san seems to be acting strangely today," L mused.
A bead of sweat trickled down Light's face. Surely L hadn't noticed what was going on? He had been staring at the floor all day!
"Oh, you think so?"
"Yes. He missed lunch - it's unlike Matsuda-san to miss out on dhango dumplings."
"Maybe he got something else while he was out. He was saying only the other day he hadn't had miso soup for years - perhaps he went and got some."
"Perhaps…"
Light wasn't sure L had bought his act, but they were nearly there anyway. All Light had to do was get L to open the door first and he had won…
When they reached the door, Light bent down to 'pull his socks up.' It was a puerile ploy, but an effective one. L opened the door in his stead…
A soft thud from behind the door indicated the first step of the trap being put into action. The bookshelf in L and Light's shared bedroom had been moved from it's usual position against the wall, and was now at an obtuse angle, placed so that it would be hit when the door was opened at a ninety degree angle from the frame. A tennis ball, placed on top of the bookshelf, was then knocked from the shelf and into a plastic tube - the kind that can be found in elaborate tanks for small rodents. The tube took the ball down towards the repositioned bedside table, upon which a book had been carefully placed. The book, when struck with the ball, toppled onto a short plank balanced atop a stack of DVD cases. The force of the book's landing catapulted the cactus on the other end of the makeshift see-saw into the air to hit it's target on the ceiling…
The thud of the door hitting the bookshelf wasn't going to seem strange to L - whilst Light was meticulously neat, L had a habit of leaving things all over the place, and so there was always the possibility that the noise simply came from the door colliding with something L had left there earlier. There was no danger of L noticing the trap before he entered the room either - the whole thing had been set up so that, with the door open at such an angle, the series of catalytic objects were barred from view. The target on the ceiling, however, had been placed at a point under which L had to pass to reach the bed… and if the detective fathomed the purpose of the trap only at this point, it would be too late.
Light had thought of everything, even a way to shield himself. As L stepped, unwittingly, into the booby-trapped room, Light made a dash for the bed and grabbed one of the sheets...
POP! The cactus met the balloon target with a bang, splattering the whole room with globs of white foam. Everything was covered - everything except Light…
…and L.
When Light had darted behind a bed sheet for cover, L had followed him. Of course, it wasn't unreasonable to assume that L would do such a thing - but for him to have been quick enough to escape ALL of the aerosol cream?
"Huh…" L mused as he emerged from behind the sheet, peering around interestedly at the components of the booby-trap, "Strange… it seems someone meant to play a trick on us…"
Light bit down his disappointment. "Yeah… Weird."
"It's a good job you were able to react so quickly - otherwise we would both be covered in…" L bent down, scooped up some of the foam on his finger and sniffed at it, before licking it tentatively "…mm… squirty cream."
"Yeah…"
"Perhaps this is what Matsuda-san was up to?" L pondered aloud. Light thought he saw L raise an eyebrow almost imperceptibly, as if challenging Light's innocence.
"Matsuda?" Light didn't want to agree, despite it being the obvious conclusion - he had promised Matsuda that L wouldn't find out. "I'm not sure, Ryuzaki - I don't mean to be offensive, but you and I both know that Matsuda isn't exactly…"
"…bright? No… no, I guess you're right," L concurred, cocking his head in thought. "Matsuda-san probably couldn't have thought this up on his own… but he may have set it up at someone else's request…"
That was definitely a raised eyebrow.
"Let's not worry about that right now, shall we? It's not as though anyone was harmed… or even splattered with cream…" Light sighed.
"True… I guess, seeing as there doesn't seem to have been a breach in security - I'm still convinced that Matsuda-san had something to do with this, and I doubt he could have gotten anyone past security… plus, no-one was hurt…" L nodded, a little too slowly for Light's liking. "Shall we find somewhere else, then? This room is a bit… messy now."
"Somewhere…?" Light frowned. "Oh… uh… my headache's eased off a bit now, actually."
"Oh. Okay… We shall return to the office in just a minute then," L said, kneeling down on the floor and rummaging beneath the bed as he did so. A few seconds later, he produced a jar of chocolate spread. How many of those did he have?
--
The pair returned to the Task Force Office. Light tried to ignore the expectant look on Matsuda's face - which turned to mild confusion and disappointment when he saw that L was still completely free of cream.
How to get that shower? Light toyed with the idea of making some excuse to visit Misa, suggesting that they had a snack and a drink together and then 'accidentally' mentioning that L had kissed him on their first night together. Misa would surely get angry with L over that, and if there were drinks around…
No. Although in that situation it was likely that L would get messy, it wasn't fair to use Misa's emotions against her like that. Besides, he'd like to keep that kiss as secret as he possibly could, thank you very much.
What else? He could quite simply spill a drink over L himself - 'accidentally', of course - but that was too obvious. Or he could just ask to use the shower…
No. There was no way Light Yagami was going to lower himself to asking to use the bathroom like a child. L was going to get dirty somehow.
He had to.
Light needed that shower.
Look at him sitting there, licking chocolate spread from his fingers like that…
Aha!
"Ryuzaki."
"Mmm?"
"May I… have some of that spread?"
L stared blankly at Light for a minute. "Okay."
Light took the jar from L's hands and smiled.
"I thought you weren't fond of… agh!" L's sentence was cut short as Light leapt at him, pushing the detective from his chair and onto the floor in one swift movement. The Task Force looked on in bewilderment as Light then straddled L and scooped up a handful of chocolate.
"Three days, Ryuzaki," Light said, pulling L's top up with his clean hand. "Three whole days without a shower." He slathered the handful of chocolate spread over L's chest, the bent over him and smeared some on his face and in his hair for good measure. He tried to ignore the disbelieving gasps from his father and the choking noises Matsuda was making. L just lay there, staring up at him.
Then L smiled.
"You could have just asked, you know, Light-kun…"
Author's Note: Apologies to everyone who put Living Apart Together on alert - it's taken me so long to update, and THIS is what you get! I'm so, so sorry! The idea isn't bad, but... I'm not entirely satisfied with the way it turned out... Please, feel free to let me know what you think of it!
Next update will be sooner, I promise - if Sequel doesn't take over my brain like last time, that is!