Disclamer: Dick Wolf's an ass, because he won't let Olivia come out. Oh, and he owns the SVU characters, too.

Pairings: Olivia/Alex

Warnings: Femslash and Anorexia

Author's Note: Thanks everyone for the reviews. Sorry about the length in the last chapter, I was trying to see if it was worth pursing. Go to for more information about anorexia.

"Liv, you know I hate it when you when you watch me sleep," Alex grumbles, half asleep.

"Sorry, sweetheart," replies Olivia. Olivia must have been staring at Alex for over 30 minutes. She feels like a mother, watching her child die slowly. She wants so badly to protect her, but she doesn't know how.

Trying hard not to focus on how scared she is, she wraps her arms around Alex. She wants to believe that if she just wraps her arms around Alex tightly enough, she can shield her from all the evil in the world. Nagging at her mind is the fact that Alex is a grown woman, and fiercely independent.

They doze for a few minutes, begging reality to leave them alone for a little while longer.

Alex had felt the weight of Olivia's eyes pressing on her. Even now that Olivia is simply snoozing next to her, Olivia's arms feel like dead weights crushing her. She can't seem to take a breath. She lies there for a moment, panic setting in. Finally she has to move, like a swimmer who has to break the surface. She rolls out of bed and steps onto the cold bedroom floor.

"I'll be in the shower, Liv. Ok?"

" 'kay."

As Alex slides down the long cobalt blue silk and lace nightgown, she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her bloated body repulses her. She runs her hands across her stomach, critiquing the way it protrudes. Her hands reach her thighs, and they seem impossibly wide. She thinks she looks like one of those diet as in the before picture; with fat rippling from her ribs, and thighs that curve out beyond her hips.

She runs thru a checklist in her mind of the things she needs to fix, "Let's see, I need to lose at 20-30 pounds… my stomach is really sagging, maybe 150 sit-ups would fix it… God, I hate my thighs… they jiggle when I run, and… ewww… they touch in the middle, damn it, I shouldn't have eaten that power bar for lunch, the apple would have been enough…"

Alex turns away from the mirror in disgust, quickly entering the shower. She turns it on as hot as it can go, desperate to wash away anything and everything. As she gets out of the shower, she steals another glance in the mirror. It's still there, the excess fat she hates. She dresses quickly in her blue suit with a cream silk shirt. "It doesn't flatter me at all," she thinks, "I'll never look like the girl in the ad."

As she leaves the bathroom, the scent of coffee wakes her up. "No cream or sugar," she reminds herself. She finds Olivia in the kitchen, bustling around fixing breakfast.

"Liv, I hope you aren't making any for me, I'm having brunch with Jack," Alex lies.

"Alright," Olivia says with defeat in her voice.

"There's enough coffee for me though, right?"

"Of course, Alex."

Alex drowns the cup quickly. "Thanks Liv. See you whenever."

"I can't wait. Love you, Al."

"Love you, too," Alex says as she dashes out the door.