Enjoy.

you're too young or you're too old or you're simply not inclined
you're asleep or you're withholding be that my cue to crave you

She walked into the hospital, the confidence from the morning still present. Her hair six inches shorter than the day before. She had allowed it to air dry leaving it with a simple wave which just skimmed her shoulders. She had chosen a knee length black pencil skirt paired with a pair of dark green Prada pumps which pulled a stripe out of her pinstriped button up shirt. The top three buttons undone showing a tasteful amount of cleavage.

She refused to be one of those feeble women who saw divorce as the end of their existence. This was new start, a fresh beginning. And in all honestly, if she had to be part of the hospital gossip mill it might as well be for how good she looked instead of how pathetic she appeared after the divorce.

Around her people stopped what they were doing and stared. She smiled at the nurses she knew and waved to some of her colleagues from around the hospital. Apparently they had been expecting the coffee stained sweatshirt clad Addison to come into work again.

It was tempting to hide, especially knowing the fact that everyone in the hospital probably knew of the fight that had taken place between her and Derek.

But that Addison was gone, along with all the guilt, sadness, and regret.

Well, maybe not completely gone but she was moving forward.

This was the new strong and confident Addison who didn't take Juju from anyone because she didn't need it. She'd make her own Juju.

"Don't you look nice," the petite resident came up to stand next to Addison while she flipped through her chart.

"Thanks. I thought it was time for something new," she gently ran her fingers through her hair.

"So I hear you've been talking to Jarrod. He sell you a house yet?"

Addison grinned ear to ear, "He said with my price range he would have no trouble. Though I might have to settle for only one walk in closet. He's gonna call me with some listing tonight. I should be moved out of that hotel in less than a week."

"You know he's single. Tall, mid thirties, voted one of Seattle's most eligible bachelors. And if I'm not mistaken, you need a new man in your life."

"Cute butt too," Addison said off handedly.

Both women smiled at the mental image.

"Seriously though, he is nice but I need some time alone. I haven't been just Addison in," she paused, "God, I don't even know how long. I just need to be me. Find a way to be happy again."

Miranda smirked, "Amen to that. Men, you see, are highly overrated. Except my little Tuck, he's a bundle of sunshine"

They laughed again and relished the moment they had free before Addison's pager went off.

"I'm needed."

"I'll save you a spot at lunch. No more eating with Sloan or sneaking off to the on call room to finish lunch alone."

Addison gave a thankful nod and walked toward the NICU.

She found Mark at the third floor nurses station, eyes on his chart though they did occasionally glance up at the young nurses. Mark would never change, of that she was sure.

She had broken up with Mark several times since his arrival in Seattle but this time she wasn't going to get drunk and call him. That was the old Addison. Though there was no denying that her stomach did flutter a little when he looked at her.

He might have really loved her but all he did was bring her down.

"Mark…"
His gaze turned to her and she hesitated again. He looked at her like Derek used to.

"Addison…wow. This is quite a change. You haven't had your hair this short since," he paused, wrinkles forming on his forehead, "Since, never…But you do look damn amazing with it."

His hand shifted onto her back as the pulled her closer, "It's so sexy."

He moved into kiss her and she pulled back, "We need to talk Mark."

He stepped back and groaned loudly, "You know we have this conversation every week, wait, everyday Addison. We fight and argue and guess what, we end up having mind blowing sex so let's just skip the middle and get to the sex."

He stepped forward again, arms on her hips.

"I'm serious Mark. I am officially divorced today. See, no ring," she paused placing a hand on his chest while she shook her bear ring finger, "I'm moving forward with my life. I'm buying a house. A house with closets! Closets that I need to fill with my own clothes."

"That doesn't mean anything Addison. It doesn't mean we can't..."

She placed a gentle hand on his mouth, "I'm single for the first time in nearly two decades Mark. I can't start over if I'm tied to the past. You knew this was coming. You knew from the start."

"But I love you."

"No Mark. You loved what I had with Derek. You got to a point in your life where you wanted what we had and I made it all too easy for you to think that's what you were getting. Me and you, we would just crash and burn. It's better to strap on a parachute and jump while there's still time. Maybe then we can save our friendship because what I need Mark, what I really need, is a friend."

She wrapped her arms around herself.

He sighed and pulled her into a hug.

"You will always have a friend in me Addison. No matter what happens," he said assuredly. His grip tightened around her.

"We wouldn't be friends if I broke you Mark. Look at me and Derek."

She pulled herself out of his arms and began to walk away.

She stopped after a few steps, "But today is a new day."

It would be hard; she had no doubt about that. And she was sure she'd stumble along the way but in all honestly, she really didn't have any other choice.

She entered the elevator to meet Miranda. Her conversation with Mark still heavy on her mind. But she had meant what she said earlier. No men until she sorted out her life. And as if on cue, the reason for all her distress entered the elevator.

She swore the elevator Gods hated her.

On the next floor two terrified nursing students who had gotten on the elevator with Addison dashed out even though they had pressed floor seven and they were only on three.

No one wanted to be in the middle of the storm that was Derek and Addison.

A heavy silence filled the small elevator. Derek's stance, his entire demeanor remained condescending like the night before.

She thought for a moment for standing in the silence but everything he said still echoed in her mind. And this time she knew she didn't deserve it.

"You walked out on our life together. Regardless of whatever I did, you did, we did, you walked away. And I was left with nothing. So I tried to make something out of that nothing, and I made mistakes but I paid for them."

She closed her eyes.

"I came here and I tried to fix what was broken. But no matter what you say, I tried alone. So, I'm done. I'm done with the guilt. I'm done with the spite. I'm done with you. I've earned this city and I've earned my place here, with or without you."

She felt like a weight she didn't even know existed was lifted off her chest.

His back remained turned though his shoulders sagged a little.

"I…I…" he started. He was obviously unsure of what he wanted to say.

"I don't want to hear it Derek. I'm done. All of it, I signed the papers. I'm done."

The elevator dinged and Addison walked away for the first time. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard.

i have waited for you and adjusted for you and i'm done
i have deferred to you and enabled you and i'm done
i have bent for you and i've deprived for you and i'm done
i have depressed for you and contorted for you and i'm done
i have stifled for you and i've compromised for you and i'm done
i have silenced for you and sacrificed for you and i'm done
Alanis Morissette.

So, no men til her life is sorted out, thats her decision. But that doesn't mean they aren't gonna try. hint Keep an eye out for a familiar face