One week later..
Beth sat across from Daryl, watching him fidget under her gaze. Studying him was harder than she imagined, his walls were so built up that it was hard to see through him. Though, she could see the real him through his eyes. No matter how much anyone tried to hide their feelings, their eyes always showed the truth. The only truth she was able to crack, was that he was sad. But that was a given.
"So last week, we talked a little about your childhood. How did that make you feel reliving that?"
He shrugged."How am I supposed to feel?"
"Well." She waved her hand."Some people feel fear, hurt, anger, sadness - sometimes all of the above."
"I hate my Dad. That give you your answer, Doc?"
She stared at him, trying to decipher his answer. It was simple, yet filled with sarcasm. Something that she found to be important, because sarcasm is usually used to deal with pain.
"Actually, it does." She grabbed her mug of coffee and sipped it.
Daryl glared at her.
She set her mug back down on the desk."Daryl, I get the vibe that you don't want to be here."
"Well aren't you a fucking genius." He retorted.
"You're very hostile and I don't appreciate it. I also don't appreciate that type of language." She huffed."I'll have to ask you to leave, if you don't stop. I won't ask you again."
"Whatever." He mumbled.
Beth looked down at her pad and sighed."So you feel anger towards your Father, and that's perfectly fine. But after a while, the anger is only hurting you. Sometimes letting go is the best thing for you, and in this case it's important that you let go."
"Might be for some people..."He paused."S'like a damn record player in my head."
"What is?" She questioned.
"Everything my Dad and Merle ever said to me."
"What did they say?"
He sighed."That I'm nothin', I was a mistake, my Mom shoulda got an abortion when she had the chance, I'm a waste of air space...That kinda shit."
Beth frowned as she wrote down everything he said in quotes, all while wondering how any parent could say those things to a child. It broke her heart even thinking about him hearing those things, and having no one to turn to for love and support.
"And how did that make you feel?"
He shrugged."Stupid most of the time. But I really didn't stick around much to hear it, I was always out in the woods huntin'."
She scribbled down everything he was saying, making sure to underline the key things she found important. Unfortunately, everything was practically underlined.
"Why do you write all that shit down? Can't be pretty on paper."
She grabbed her mug off the desk."I like to take notes for the next appointment."
He nodded and looked over at her corkboard."That your husband?"
Beth turned around and saw the picture he mentioned. They were visiting his parents in Florida, Beth was sun burnt and he was tan, but it turned out to be the best picture taken of them.
"Uh yes, that's him." She smiled and sipped her coffee."Look, Daryl, I know you don't want to be here, but-"
"What makes you think that?"
She raised a brow."It doesn't take a genius to figure it out, right?"
He glared as his words were thrown back in his face. Then again, she was right, so what could he say?
"Just feel like some psycho bein' here."
"Well now you've just insulted yourself and all of my patients." She informed."You're not a psycho for wanting to get help."
"Didn't say I was, said I felt like one."
She held up her finger and stood up, surprisingly, Daryl couldn't help but stare at her as she walked away. The jeans she wore were hugging her in all the right places. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and quickly glanced down, just as Beth turned around with a book. He did, however, happened to catch a glimpse at the book in her hand - How to cope with child abuse, as an adult.
"This book will help you understand what you went through, and what you're going through as an adult." She opened the book to a page and folded down a corner."I want you to read this book over time, but this page, especially."
Daryl reached across the space between them, and took the book she was holding. It was heavy despite being paperback. The pages inside contained all the things he should know, yet, everything he didn't want to know. Without a second thought, he placed it between his leg and the chair.
"Thanks." He murmured.
Beth smiled."You're welcome. I hope you read it."
"Hope there's pictures, cause I ain't big on reading."
A giggle escaped from her lips in response to his comment, which wasn't at all what she wanted. She wasn't a school girl talking to the popular guy in school, she was a therapist speaking with a patient. She guessed she still had a lot to learn, after all, this was her first year.
"Well I'm afraid there aren't, but I could find a book with pictures, if you'd like?" She teased, but mentally cursed herself after.
Daryl blushed."Nah, s'fine."
"Oh good." She briefly glanced down at her notepad.
"My brother used to tell me that he took care of me a lot as a baby."
Beth returned her gaze and nodded, encouraging him to continue.
"...Said my Mom was usually too high to feed me or change me, and my Dad was usually out on a bender with some waitress." He glanced down at his hands."Guess he was there for me when I needed him to be, but once I was old enough, he took off."
"It sounds like you feel like you owe him for keeping you alive."
"I do. If it weren't for him, I'd of died long before I was a year old." He stated bluntly."Nobody told him he had to feed me or change me, he did cause he had too."
"Because he loved you."
Daryl snorted."Merle don't love me, Merle don't love anybody."
"There are different definitions of love. There's the marriage kind of love, dating kind of love, a Mother and Father kind of love, and then the love of a sibling. Sometimes our siblings show us love in odd ways. Merle showed you love by taking care of you, despite never expressing it verbally."
He stared at the blonde as she talked, but he wasn't really listening. He was staring at the way her mouth moved, the way her eyes twinkled in the brightly lit room, her pink cheeks...The way her braided hair lay over her shoulder. He shook his head hoping to shake away any thoughts of her, because she wasn't his type nor in his league. There'd be no way in hell she'd ever want him, a dirty redneck with a fucked up past.
Beth sighed and folded her hands on her clipboard."Do you own a journal?"
"Pfft. No, ain't much of a writer."
"Well I am and it's a great way to release stress, anger and anxiety." She smiled as she set the clipboard on her desk."I want you to start writing down everything you feel, think and desire. And our next appointment we'll discuss what you wrote down."
He glanced down."I ain't got anything to write in."
"Oh. Well I have a journal you could use, I sometimes buy them for myself or for certain patients." She smiled and opened her desk drawer."Is black okay?"
He faintly nodded, barely looking at her."Ain't gotta do that, ya know?"
She walked over and placed the journal in front of his face, he gently took the black leather journal out of her hand and immediately opened it. Beth walked over to her desk and flipped through her day planner, hoping to schedule him in before he could object. She glanced up and saw him flipping through the pages of the journal, almost in a trance like state. She didn't want to disturb him, but his time was ending and she needed to schedule him in before he left.
"Is Wednesday okay?"
He looked up and turned his head."Mhm."
She smiled and flipped to Wednesday."10:45?"
"Gotta later time?"
She bit her lip as she skimmed her day planner for a later time."All I have is 10:45, is that a problem?"
"Well I work during the day, so I'unno. My boss is kind of a dick, and he doesn't really like people leaving during the day, 'less it's an emergency."
She folded her hands on her desk."Hm, okay, how about you come in at 7:30 Wednesday night? I'm always here late on Wednesday, usually to go over schedules and whatnot. But I could fit you in. If you'd like?"
"Uh, yeah - sure."
"I normally don't do this for patients, so consider yourself lucky." She smirked, teasing him a bit.
He blushed and stood up."Well Ima get goin', don't wanna be here longer than I have too."
"Right." She nodded and smiled."Have a good day, Daryl."
He turned around before leaving."You too, Doc."
As she shut the office door, she mentally cursed herself for being so light and flirty around him - a patient, who needed her help. She walked back to her desk and took a seat, popping two aspirin and washing it down with some water. Was she actually flirting with him? She held her head and exhaled a breath, trying to figure out what had just taken place.
So Daryl noticed Beth, maybe more than he should've lol Oopsie!
But how sweet is Beth to give Daryl that book and the journal? It's just like her though :)
The next chapter should be interesting!
Anyway, hope you enjoyed!
Xoxo