Chapter One:

Never Assume

"Is that a new girl?" "What's wrong with her?" The whispers and comments followed me around as I rolled my cart towards the shining Hogwarts Express. I lifted it up and threw it inside none too gently. There wasn't anything breakable inside—I'm not nearly that wealthy to have something of actual value.

I climbed the stairs heavily, my boots clanking loudly on the metal steps, and I entered the nearest vacant compartment I could find. I stayed in here, not moving and on edge, expecting someone to come in and recognize me, even though I have made it almost impossible.

My waist-long red hair had been chopped off so that the tattered ends fluttered down to slightly past my abnormally thin shoulders and new bangs were carelessly tossed so that they dusted over the right side of my face. I had also dyed it the darkest black I could find, and even then I did it several times. My lips were dry, although you couldn't tell by looking at them through the layers of black lipstick. I had coated my eyes with liquid mascara, making them seem hooded and there color not nearly as bright. The dark blue and green hues of eye shadow didn't help them any either.

I moved my tongue around the roof of my mouth, letting the cold barbell clack against my teeth. I still wasn't used to having the lip ring, but I loved the way it looked; a flash of metal whenever I gave one of my rare smiles. I also adored the small hoop I had gotten put through my eyebrow. It screamed weirdness and individuality, desolation and despair, which is what I was going for, verses the cheerfulness of my bright red locks and bright toothed grins.

When the train ride was approximately half over, I could hear a crash. I opened the door and peeked outside. James Potter and Sirius Black were standing over a sneering Severous Snape, who was laying on the floor, probably the after affect of some curse or another they had put on him What I saw didn't surprise me, but I had to use excess self restraint to stop from stepping out there and screaming my head off for them to stop.

Suddenly, I felt the moving train lurch and then come to a halt. I sighed and came back into my cabin before started to take off my street clothes in favor of the school uniform, but pulled on a hat that came low down my forehead, making me even less recognizable. When I was done, I slid open the door and waited for the throng of students to thin out before attempting to make my way towards the exit.

I was almost there when I felt a hand rest on my shoulder, making me jump and stop.

I turned to see who it was. Joy.

"Are you one of the new transfers?" James Potter asked me. YES! I screamed inside my head, if Potter doesn't recognize me, there is no WAY anyone else will!

I gave him a snide smile. "No," I answered saucily, "I've been here for six years, same as you. Maybe if you get your head out of your arse, you'd notice somebody else besides the blond bimbos that roam the halls, and your bed, Potter," I added as an afterthought.

A snicker and wolf-call came from behind him from the head of two boys, one dirty blond and one black haired, as I looked on amused at the expression on Potter's face. The lovely Marauders had shown up again. Oh the joy!

"Well, well, James, you got a feisty one," Sirius Black commented with a grin that I think was supposed to make him look handsome, but it only succeeded in making him seem like the jackass he was.

"Shove off, Black," I warned in a low voice. He came up behind me and put his arm around my shoulders, leading me toward the nearest empty carriage.

"Don't worry, doll, I'll have you begging by the time we get to Hogwarts," His promise seemed to be one he made often, and it was amusing how sure of himself he was.

I gave out a short laugh while I shrugged off his arm. "I doubt it, have fun trying though!" I added in fake cheerfullness. I would never be cheerful anymore, never.

Climbing into the carriage, I sat down; making sure that my skirt rode dangerously high on my leg. I just needed a reason to hit something and Black was better than nothing, right?

While doing this, I made the mistake of letting my robes drift to far up my arm, bearing the tattoo on my wrist, and a collection of scars.

"Whoa!" Black exclaimed, using his abnormally fast refluxes to grab my wrist. I gasped and attempted to pull it back, but he held it fast. "Righteous tattoo, dude! Very deep…"

It was of a lily, torn in half. One side of the petals was a beautiful ivory color that would have blended in with my skin tone if not for the black outlining. The other side was deep black that contrasted vibrantly with the other side. Blood was seeping through the crack in the middle and trickled down the stem to gather at the bottom in a shallow pool.

"Thanks," I said hurriedly and made to pull it back, thinking he would let it go, since he got to see what he wanted.

"Wait just a second," James said and Sirius handed over my wrist to him. "How did you get these scars?" He asked, tracing his index finger over the longest one that ran from my pulse point down to my elbow. I winced as he came to the section where that line intersected with several others.

"No where, just some accidents." I yanked my hand back from him and folded my arms across my chest protectively.

"Sure," he mumbled under his breath, and I could tell he didn't believe me. If only he knew…

"You know what?" Sirius asked. "I don't even know your name, and I have even hit on you!"

I laughed with no emotion, making my tongue ring show which I think freaked him out a bit. "You'd know my name if you just look hard enough." Sirius nodded a confused expression on his breathtaking face. Apparently he wanted a straight-forward answer, but that wasn't what he got.

"You know what else I have noticed?" Sirius said, completely forgetting my name.

"What, Padfoot," James answered tiredly, rubbing his eyes.

"No one has screamed at us yet. Meaning, that Lily isn't here because the woman's got eyes in the back of her head, and she couldn't have missed that prank we pulled on Snape."

Shit. They can't figure out that I'm sitting right next to them!

"You know what, you're right!" James said, sitting up. "I didn't even see her on the train. Do you think she got on? I mean she wouldn't want to miss out on her sixth year, would she?"

The snort I tried so desperately to contain burst forward and both of the boys looked at me. "I know something you don't," I said somewhat tauntingly.

"And that would be?" Black was saying as if persuading a small child to confess to breaking the vase.

"Lily got a new…makeover," I answered to their eagerness.

"What do you mean, 'makeover'?" James looked worried. "She was perfect the way she was. Do you mean she like completely changed everything or, just like, her mascara?"

"Let's just say you wouldn't recognize her. Trust me."

"I think I would know my Lily anywhere," James replied confidently. I on the other hand gave another snort, but I was saved from having to answer by the carriage arriving in front of the castle.

Inside the castle at the welcoming feast, I sat through Dumbledore's speech with a glazed look in my eyes, not really caring what he had to say. Next came the sorting, which I watched with slightly more enthusiasm. I more or less just sat there with my arms folded across my chest, praying that the food would appear so that I could eat the minimal amount to keep from starving and then leave.

Finally, the food appeared. I grabbed one roll and a small portion of salad before hightailing it out of the Great Hall. Had I stopped for a moment I would have seen James Potter following me out.

I ran down the corridors as if in a blind dream; not really seeing where I was going, but my feet, being sure of the path, took me right to where I wanted to go: the Gryffindor Common Room. It was then that I realized I didn't know the password.

"Shit," I muttered.

"It's 'hippogriff', " a voice called from behind me.

"That's right, dear!" The Fat Lady chimed in before opening lazily. I made a move to enter the Common Room, but, once again, a hand slipped itself onto my shoulder and prevented me from moving.

"I helped you," James said, "now you have to help me."

"I don't think giving me the password is considered the equivalent of one of a knight in shinning armor's great deeds to humanity, Potter," I snipped before attempting to shrug off his hand. It didn't budge an inch.

"Just one question, please!" He looked so close to begging that it was actually quite pitiful.

Soon I gave in to that look and I sighed. "Fine. Ask your stupid question."

"You know why Lily hasn't shown up yet and why she had this 'makeover,' or whatever the hell you said, don't you?" He seemed torn as to which emotion to display: sadness upon not seeing Lily and being told of her transformation, or anger for my stubbornness.

"Yes."

"Would you care to elaborate?"

"No."

"Damn it. Then just answer this one question before I leave you here, nameless as far as I know, and walk off. Is she okay?"

I hesitated before answering. "No," I said truthfully knowing that I wasn't okay.

He turned around and violently picked me up by my shoulders and pushed me against a wall so I was at his eye level. "Then where the hell is she?"

It scared me to see so much passion in his eyes. Maybe he wasn't just some random twit, and just maybe he actually liked me.

"I never said she wasn't here, did I?"

"No…but I assumed—" He stammered, putting me down.

"That was your first mistake—assuming. Never assume. Now, I have a question for you: What do you automatically 'assume' when you look at me?" I raised an eyebrow at him and took off my hat so that he could see my face more clearly and took my hair down, ruffling it slightly so it fell like I wanted it to.

"Well," he started, "you look so familiar but I don't know how I know you. And, to answer your question, I assume that either you grew up in a hard household or are attempting to overcome some great hardship."

"Wow," I whispered. He was dead on. That was bad. "I'm, uh, sorry that I can't tell you where Lily is, but just know that she's here, in Hogwarts, she's just not herself, and she's not well. She hasn't been for a while I wouldn't go looking for her if I were you, James. Mainly because you might not like what you find. Not all changes are for the better."

I should have turned to go right then, but for some reason I stayed. Who knew why? Certainly not me.

A mixture of emotions dawned across James' face. First, realization, second, horror, and thirdly, pity.

"No," His eyes started to fill with tears. "This just isn't possible! Why, Lily? What possibly could have possessed you to do this? You were beautiful…so beautiful…" He trailed off.

"I-I would say that you wouldn't understand, but it's just so much more than that. You just don't know…damn it! I can't even explain it! Let's just say over the summer my life was ripped apart and then stomped on repeatidly. I'm trying to recover the best I can. It just may not be enough," I whispered looking out a window in the common room as I explained knowing I wouldn't be able to bear staring into his eyes at the moment. Afterwards, when I gripped my emotions slightly I turned back to look at him, avoiding eye contact.

James stepped forward, tears running down his face steadily. He reached out a hand, and stroked my dark raven colored hair. "It looked so much better before…"

"One day, I'll tell you the entire story, but I'm just not ready to yet," I backed away slowly.

"Goodbye, James."