A/N: WEll, I had three wonderful reviewers tell me to update, and I figured that I'd give them a break and a laugh and let them read this list, which I had all set and ready.

PS Remember, when I update a list, IT'S IN THE SAME CHAPTER. Just a reminder!

And, I'd really like to make this list longer, so if you have any suggestions at all please tell me! You get credit and an invisible cookie (that comes from Rosalie McCarty, for those who care. Read her stuff, she's a fantastic author!).

32 Things I Swear Never Do In Twilight World

1: I swear never to tell a vampire they're looking mighty hungry today

2: I swear never to follow a person who addresses herself as "Heidi"

3: I swear never to attempt to play baseball with vampires

4: I swear never to tell Bella I'm Edward's fiancée.

5: I swear never to tell Reneesme that her real name is Vanessa Wolfe

6: I swear never to deny Alice a shopping trip

7: I swear never to say that Alice's credit card has been declined

8: I swear never to tell Rose that I'm pregnant

9: I swear never to tell Jacob that Nessie has a boyfriend

10: I swear never to tell Jacob that Edward left Bella again

11: I swear never to ask Bella when the next baby is due

12: I swear never to I swear not to blast "Sexy Back" every time Edward walks in the room

13: I also swear never to blast "Who Let The Dogs Out" outside of Jacob's house

14: I swear never to tell Quil that Claire has a boyfriend

15: I swear never to tell Leah she's a freak of nature

16: I swear never to shout "Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner" at Edward, nor tell Bella to

17: I swear never to ask Mike who stabbed Edward Cullen with a pencil

18: I swear never to ask Lauren if she heard that Tyler Crowley asked out Bella

19: I swear never to give Leah the number of a psychiatrist

20: I swear never to ask out Edward Cullen

21: I swear never to tell Angela that her best friend is a vampire

22: I swear never to tell Emily she looks hideous

23: I swear never to cut myself in front of Jasper

24: I swear never to piss off a werewolf

25: I swear never to tell Paul he has anger issues

26: I swear never to give Mike Bella's phone number

27: I swear never to burn Alice's closet

28: I swear never to buy the Cullens a pet

29: I swear never to give Emmet access to a lawn mower

30: I swear never to change my contacts from black to gold

31: I swear never to ask Esme if she's ever had a child of her own

32: I swear never to ask Caius if he's met the Children Of The Moon (is this right, i don't know if it's right)

33. I swear never to tell Nessie there is no Santa Claus

34: I swear never to ask Edward if he celebrates Christmas or Chankuah.

Thank you to black to Leopard-colored eyes for I swear never to's 22-28! -hands an invisible cookie-