AUTHOR'S NOTES: I chose to use this chapter to answer the question of when did Harry's son, James, start having 'those feelings' for Nicholas Malfoy.
Meanwhile, Harry tries to deal with what's happening to his daughter and Camille realizes that this isn't just about her.
Also, I know sometimes my use of song lyrics in stories is hit-or-miss but the scene I put them in has a religous tone, a subject which is kinda tricky for me to write. (I'm an agnostic if you really want to know.) BTW, the song in question is 'So Small' by Carrie Underwood.
Chapter 2
Late that night, James headed over to The Malfoys' house and quickly climbed the tree next to Nick's window.
"Nick!"
"James?" Nicholas Malfoy said, as his best friend climbed in through the open window. "What are you doing here?"
"I don't know…" James admitted, sighing. "I just… I couldn't stay at home right now."
Nick shoved some of his stuff off of the bed and asked, "What's going on?"
James didn't sit down, instead preferring to pace the room. "You know how tired Cami has been lately?"
"James, what's wrong?" Nick asked.
"Camille has leukemia," James replied, not meeting his best friend's eyes. "She's in the hospital… they're starting her on chemotherapy in a few days." Kicking Nick's chair, he said, angrily, "It's not fair! 'Merry Christmas! Your sister's got cancer!' Son of a b—"
"Is Camille going to be okay?" Nick asked, concerned.
"The doctor say she's lucky they caught it early… it's treatable…" James sighed and finally sat down as the fight went out of him. "I don't want to lose my little sister."
"You know… your dad had cancer when he was 15," Nick said, trying to be comforting. "And he's doing just fine."
"I know…" James replied. "But why does it have to be Cam? She and I have always been so close and…"
Nick gave a warm smile. "She's going to be okay, mate. You know she's tough… she'll come out of this alright. You'll see."
James nodded as he got up. "Thanks, Nick."
Without really knowing why, Nick gave James a hug.
And as strange as it seemed to the two boys, it also seemed to be the most comforting thing in the world.
--
Lying in her bed in the pediatric oncology wing, Camille felt a little scared as Leslie Evans attached an IV drip to Camille's new central line. Looking up at the bag of medicine hanging from the pole, Camille tried to imagine the drugs as some kind of magic elixir that would definitely cure her.
"This isn't going to be pleasant, Camille," Leslie warned as she started the IV drip. "It's going to make you feel really sick. But that just means that the drugs are killing the cancer cells in your body."
Camille nodded, trying to feel brave but really she was scared to death. "I don't want to die, Aunt Leslie."
Leslie smiled at the little girl as she sat on the bed and took her hand. "It's okay to be scared, Cami. But even though you're scared you have to try and fight this okay? Think positive… And one day this will all just seem like a bad dream."
Harry didn't feel like opening presents Christmas morning and while Luna took the kids to the hospital to visit with Camille, Harry went to the local Presbyterian church, coming in just as the 10am service was about to start.
"Harry?"
Looking around, Harry saw Dudley sitting with his mother, stepfather, and 5 kids, two of which, Harry recognized as Dudley's own kids, Nicole and Simon. "Hey," Harry said, giving a faint smile as he sat next to his aunt.
"I heard about Camille," Petunia said, taking Harry's hand. "I'm so sorry, Harry…. Is that why you're here?"
Harry shrugged. "I don't know… I guess… I just need to… to believe that this isn't some cruel irony…"
The Christmas service started and as Harry sat with his family, he didn't feel any better than when he'd first arrived.
--
After the service, Petunia gave Harry a 'are you coming?' look as she, Dudley, and the others got up and started for the door.
Harry shook his head. "But… if you could tell Luna I'll be by the hospital later…"
Dudley nodded and turned to leave.
Harry stayed sitting in the pew, thinking, as everyone left the room. He wanted to pray… to find some meaning in all this… But at the same time he was afraid that if there was a reason Camille had cancer…
"Harry Potter?"
Looking up Harry saw the priest, Father Michael Clarke, standing next to him. "Yes?"
Father Clarke sat down next to Harry and said, "Your cousin, Dudley, told me about your daughter."
Harry looked back to the front of the church. "When I was 15… I was in a car accident… I lost my left leg. Then later… I had my right leg amputated after the doctors found an osteosarcoma. I had two rounds of chemotherapy… And I'd do it all over again to keep my little girl from going through Hell."
"Harry, the only thing that's constant in life is that things are constantly in motion," Clarke said, calmly. "And as much as I believe that God has a hidden plan for everyone… sometimes Life breaks that plan. Nothing is certain… nothing is completely set in stone…" Putting a hand on Harry's shoulder, he added, "And do not ever believe that you are alone in this."
"I want to…" Harry said, not sure what he wanted to do. Cry? Deny that his child's life was a risk? To be able to accept this? "I-I don't know what I want…"
"You want you daughter healthy… your family safe and happy…" Clarke supplied. Glancing upwards, he smiled. "God listens, Harry… And, yes… sometimes we don't always get the answer we want…. But He's always listening."
'I know it's hard on a rainy day
You want to shut the world out
And just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith
'Cause sometimes that mountain
You've been climbing is just a
Grain of sand
'And what you've been out there
Searching for forever is in your hand
'And when you figure out love
Is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small'
--
When Harry finally came into Camille's room, Luna saw the look on her husband's face and quickly shooed everyone out of the room, leaving father and daughter alone. Harry pulled a chair next to Camille's bed and when she sat up and looked at him, he said, "I know I never told you or your brothers or sisters I was sick when I was younger… And there's a reason for that. I'd put it behind me. I let my missing my right leg be the only sign that I'd had cancer. I thought that… once I was healthy again… the disease couldn't touch me again."
"It's not your fault, Daddy," Camille said. "You didn't know I'd get sick." Giving her father a smile she said, "And I'm going to be okay."
Harry didn't want to say what he was thinking, but he owed it to his daughter to be honest. "But you might not be."
Camille was young, but was starting to realize that her dad needed her to be strong. "Dad, it's okay to be scared," she said, echoing the words Aunt Leslie had told her. Thinking on a line from one of her favorite movies, Camille suddenly realized that she knew what it truly meant. 'Courage is not the absence of fear. But rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.' She didn't need to be strong for herself… but because her father wasn't strong enough to deal with this alone.
When Harry took Camille's hand, she gave him a warm smile. "I think… if you want to hold on to me… I can try to be strong enough for the both of us."