This is the second part. Much funnier in my opinion.

Disclaimer:I do not own Naruto

Dear Sasuke,

Your emoness appears to be infectious dude. The butterfly I sent came back black and red. Shino asked it what was wrong but apparently it kept singing Emo Kid. What did you do to that poor thing? Oh well.

I'm out of the hospital now. The fox ears are going surprisingly well for me. You wouldn't believe how much chicks dig fox ears. I've already made five dates for six o'clock tomorrow. Sakura, who is sadly immune to my foxy goodness, has again brought that dumb cat over. After a demonstration of my awesome ninja skills, and a little crying, I managed to regain my wallet. The bad news is Sakura couldn't find a place for the stupid thing to stay so now I'm stuck with it. Remember that time we played hide and seek and you kept finding me because you used your sharingan to detect my movement… and because I tried to hide in the river without realizing I couldn't swim? Well I swear to god this thing is either a genius or it has a sharing an too because no matter what I do or where I go it keeps finding me. He does kind of have that Uchiha look… But I digress.

I have recently discovered that you are in fact with Orochimaru! That's right. I figured it out. Yup, your old friend is pretty sly. I began to suspect your defection to the sound when me and Sakura were walking down the market district and we noticed a particularly emo chicken get eaten by a snake. Now this alone sparked nothing in me but disgust, awe, and hunger, but then Sakura burst into tears and cried "Sasuke! Why did you have to go to Orochimaru" and then proceeded to cry until I got her a gift. Her right hook is getting better. I still don't know why she reacted so poorly. She likes books and the Pervy Sage assured me this one was a great read. I didn't look at the cover but it was called "The Hottest Kind of Wrestling" so I assume it was about wrestling in volcanoes.

Even after that I wasn't quite certain of your location, so I decided to take a look around town. First I stopped by your house. I found a note on your door that read "Gone to Orochimaru's. Be back never". Having done that I raided your kitchen. You sure like tomatoes. Next I went around town and asked people what they knew about your whereabouts. When I questioned Tenten about it her first response was "Who the hell is Sasuke". It was then I realized that you and she had never interacted. Like at all…

So anyway then I gave her your description. Her second was response was slightly more lucrative. It was "Wait, who the hell are you?" I left after that.

I was going to ask Hinata what she knew, you and her being very distant cousins and all, but she just said " N-n-naruto-kun. D-d-don't you know that that Uchiha-san has-" Then she fainted and fell over. That poor girl must have some kind of disorder. Sakura was much more helpful. After she beat me into a very bloody, very sexy pulp for not listening to her in the first place she said something about the main road out of the village. She said more but to tell you the truth after the words "Main road out of Konoha" I just started thinking about ramen.

Not a bit discouraged by my failure to find an answer I traveled to the location Sakura had pointed out to me. I found a long series of footprints headed out of the village. About a mile out from Konoha they abruptly ended at the base of a tree with the words "Sasuke was here" engraved into its bark. I have to admit I was disappointed for a moment but then those words gave me an idea. I needed to where you had been! Luckily I found this backward set of your footprints nearby and I followed them. I traveled to this odd village that looked exactly like Kohoha. There was even this really hot girl with pink hair that waved at me when I passed her. She was almost as pretty as Sakura. Almost.

As I traveled deeper into this odd parallel world where girls as pretty as Sakura waved at me and footprints were backwards, I noticed a building that looked exactly like the Hokages' office. Deciding that non aggression never helped anybody I went on the offensive and stormed the place. The security there was really lax. All they had was this really surprised looking girl with brown hair carrying a stack of papers. Like paper can hurt me! Anyway I made it to the alternate Hokages' office. They have a female Kage too but apparently she's much younger than Grandma Tsunade. She was sitting behind her desk staring at me in wonder. I demanded that she tell me anything she knew of you but she just kept staring at me with her mouth open. Eventually she closed her mouth, sighed, and took a sip of sake.

"What the hell are you doing Naruto?" She asked me. I was surprised that she knew my name. She must have been a master of mind reading techniques or something. I flew at her, using my ninja skills to make myself look awesome while doing so. Thinking quickly I presented my head first, deducing that that would be the hardest part of my body, and spread my arms wide to maintain balance. I don't know what happened next but I heard a large cracking sound and the sound of wood smashing.

When I woke up I was back in Konoha. I don't know how I got back but thank god I did. That place was weird. I don't know why you would go there man. But I couldn't help feeling I was one step closer to finding you.

So anyway then Tsunade came to tend my head wound and she explained to me that you had left to join Orochimaru to gain power. And you know what? You took those CD's I lent you last week. I have resolved to gather a team of as many powerful ninja as I can find to track you down Sasuke. And when I find you I'll bring you back to Konoha even if I have to do so with you in a full body cast. If that's what it takes to save you from the sound (and to get my CD's back) then so be it!

At first Shino's butterfly wasn't willing to take this letter back , but after I got it tickets to some concert it flipped its antenna back , huffed, and flew off.

Your future boss,

Naruto!

P.S Believe it!

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