IcecFireFrenzy, this is for yooou. kyman has always been my otp and it makes me sad that people are starting to go off em :c

Incoming Skype call from Eric Cartman to Kyle Broflovski.

"Hey, Jew."

"Bother someone else, fatass, I'm busy."

"I can't. Poorboy is working and Butters is out with his parents."

"And Stan?"

Cartman scoffed, "Too vanilla."

Kyle looked up from his homework and exhaled a very frustrated sigh. It was Sunday afternoon and normally the boys would be hanging out, but it was raining, which only meant they were limited to what they could do. Kyle decided to use the gloomy weather as an opportunity to crack on with his school work, Stan was seeing Wendy sometime during the day and Kenny, other than work, had a date. So Cartman had no choice but to spend his Sunday annoying Kyle.

"Then go masturbate or something."

"Uh, duh? I've already done that."

"Well then go and- look, I don't even care. Just leave me alone, I'm trying to study."

Cartman frowned as he watched Kyle's attention fall back down to his desk. "Studying s'for pussies."

"Smooth."

"I'm bored, Kahl."

"Then find something entertaining to do."

Cartman sunk further into his seat and began to drum the table with his fingers. He glanced around his room, but couldn't find anything interesting to waste time with. He needed to socialise, but his options of who to socialise with were very limited. His eyes returned to his computer screen, feeling deflated that Kyle was more interested in getting on with his work than anything else.

But it sparked an idea.

"Did you know that the word 'Jew' originally came from the people who hate Jewish people."

"..Genius."

"Yeah, and did you know that when the male bee climaxes, their balls explode and then they die."

The lack of response slightly agitated Cartman, but he continued anyway, "Hey, hey Kahl. Can I ask you something?"

Kyle didn't answer.

"It's actually really important."

There was still no answer.

"I.. have something really personal to ask you."

Nothing.

"Like, I'm getting kinda nervous just thinking about it."

After ending his sentence with a full stop, Kyle dropped his pen and looked back up to his laptop screen. "What is it, Cartman?" He deadpanned.

"Okay, so would you rather watch your parents have sex for a whole year, or join in once to make it stop?"

The redhead's reaction was a slight flinch. He knew Cartman was trying to annoy him by coming up with complete nonsense and it was starting to work. "Dude, sick, I'm not answering that."

"But you have to, that's the whole point of the game."

"I didn't even agree to join in!"

"So? just answer the dam question, Jew."

"Fuck you."

The brunette groaned in annoyance and dropped his head back. "Stop being so fucking boring!"

Kyle took a moment to stretch his limbs and take note of the time. He'd been working for an hour straight and he was pretty much finished with his essay, so there was no harm in having a little break, right?

"Fine, will one game of Xbox be enough for you to leave me alone?" Cartman's mood seemed to have lightened, because he hopped out of his chair almost instantly. His sanity had been saved.

"Make it two and you've got yourself a deal."

Kyle rolled his eyes but nodded in agreement. "I'll be on in five, I need'a go to the bathroom first."

"Kay, see you in a sec."

End of call.

When Kyle returned from the bathroom to put his laptop on hibernate, he spotted a message from Cartman.

u still didnt answer my question jooboy

He was going to ignore it as he was going to be talking to the brunette within the next minute, but he typed an answer anyway.

I would rather join in, because fucking my parents is something I've totally always wanted to do.

...

nice