Chapter 2: Fun at the Playground
This is terrible! What am I going to do? Sandy thought to herself. As we remember from the last chapter, Danny had just had 2.5 cups of coffee and was now coffee-high, and Sandy was extremely worried.
Somehow, Danny's caffeinated brain had led him to thinking about Lhasa Apsos. He had been yelling across the shop (which was empty, thank god) about how to properly brush an Apso. But now, something else triggered his mind. "PLAYGROUND!" he suddenly shrieked excitedly, causing Sandy to fall out of her chair.
Normally, if Sandy had fallen out of her chair (which probably would never happen normally), Danny would bring out his rare gentleman and try to help her up, but today was special. Instead of being a man, he decided to be a 3-year-old. "PLAYGROUND!" he shrieked again. He then seized Sandy's wrist and darted out of the coffee shop, dragging the poor girl along with him.
"Danny, you forgot to pay!" Sandy screamed while trying to keep up with the sprinting boy. Then she quickly added: "What about your car?"
Danny didn't care about money or his car. He only had one thing on his mind. "Playground playground playground!" he yelled continuously, running in the direction of a nearby playground.
Anyone in the right mind would know that something was not right. People stopped to stare at the anomalous sight of a teen boy running down the sidewalk at lightning speed dragging along a screaming girl. But Danny ignored all these gawking people. He only had one thing on his mind. "Playground Playground playground!" he yelled his battle cry as a warning for all people to move out of his way. "Playground playground playground!"
Several minutes later, the two arrived at the nearby playground where a group of 8-year-olds were hanging out. Danny scanned the area quickly and yelled: "SLIDE!" Then, still holding on to Sandy's wrist, he whizzed to the tall metal slide. He pushed aside an 8-year-old and raced up the steps to the slide. Then, still grasping Sandy's wrist tightly, he slid on his belly down the slide, pulling the poor girl along. The two landed in a heap on top of each other once they had slid to the bottom. "SLIDE!" Danny screamed again and bolted up the ladder again, still pulling poor Sandy along. They slid again and again and again and again...
But when they had landed in a heap on top of each other at the bottom of the slide for the 50th time...
A bluebird flew by and landed several feet away from the two.
"BIRD!" Danny cried and jerkily let go of Sandy's wrist, which caused her to fall face-down on the ground and get a mouthful of dirt. The caffeinated boy then took off like a rocket and chased after the poor bluebird.
And the startled bluebird flew away.
"Bird!" Danny whined. "Bird bird bird bird!" Then his caffeinated brain got an idea. He ran back to his girlfriend (who had managed to pick herself up) and whined to her instead, as if she were his mother rather than his love interest. "Bird bird bird!" he insisted. Then he stamped his foot angrily. "I want a bird!" he demanded.
This is getting out of hand... Sandy thought as her boyfriend threw a hissy fit in demand for a bird. Then something caught the girl's eye. There was still hope after all! It was a pay-phone- wait, you say pay-phones weren't invented yet in the 50s? Well, too bad!
Anyways, Sandy had caught a glimpse of a pay-phone standing on the other side of the playground. She silently slipped away from her caffeinated boyfriend and tiptoed ever-so-carefully to the savior pay-phone. She put a penny into the slot and dialed her best friend's number. (As we all should know, Sandy's best friend is none other than Frenchy.)
"Hello?" a voice came from the other side of the line. It was Frenchy's mother.
"Hi. May I speak with Frenchy, please?"
A laugh came from the other side of the line. "Why, you have an Australian lilt in your voice! You must be Frenchy's Australian friend. I've heard so much about you. Well, g'day, mate!"
Sandy rolled her eyes. As we know, she hates it when people poke fun at her Australian background.
"Sandy? You still there? Well, I'll go get Frenchy right away." There was a clicking sound of the mouthpiece being set down, followed by a booming "FRENCHY! PHONE!"
Frenchy's familiar voice was heard saying: "Who is it?"
"It's your friend!" her mother answered. "The one with the funny accent!"
Now, if this had been a normal day where Danny was not high on coffee, Sandy, who was a bit over-sensitive, would've been very upset by all this you-have-a-funny-accent business. But since this was not a normal day, she was too anxious to feel hurt.
Several moments later, Frenchy came to the phone. "Hello?"
Sandy breathed a small sigh of relief. "Hello, Frenchy, I'm so glad you're here."
"What is it, Sandy? You don't sound too good."
Sandy frenetically began explaining what had happened at the coffee shop.
"Whoa, slow down there! Now, slowly tell me what happened."
"Danny's been caffeinated!"
Frenchy made a tsk-tsking sound with her tongue. "That sounds bad. You know what? Why don't you bring the guy over to my house, and I'll give him 'the treatment'. Is that OK?"
Sandy hesitated for a moment. "W-what's 'the treatment'?"
Frenchy made some popping sounds. "Just come, OK?"
"OK, thanks. Bye." Sandy hung up and went back to Danny, who was climbing a tree.
"Squirrel!" the boy screamed while trying to heave himself farther up the tree. "I want a squirrel!"
Sandy pondered for a moment on how to get the caffeinated boy's attention. Then something hit her like a speeding bullet. She decided to use rude humor: something she had heard a lot of since she arrived in the US (thanks to Rizzo), but never actually brought into play herself. "Hey, Black-butt, did you hear?" she began. "Yo mamma's so fat it's not even funny, but the ground is cracking up!"
And it worked! Danny stopped his pursuit for the squirrel. "What did you say?"
For once, Sandy was actually happy for Rizzo's uncouth and offending jokes. "I said, yo mamma's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention!"
Danny was actually non-caffeinated for a moment. "Hey, don't talk about my mother like that!"
Sandy gathered up all the toughness she could manage (which, unfortunately, was not very much). "What are you going to do about it?" she said, trying to transform her naturally soft and musical voice into a loud and tough one.
Danny was stock-still for a second. Then he started laughing. No, 'laughing' is not the word. 'Howling' was more like it. He was howling so hard, he nearly lost his grasp on the tree. In fact, sooner or later, he did lose his grasp and came plummeting down. Even after that, he was rolling on the ground laughing his butt off.
By that time, Sandy felt three different ways. 1.) She was worried that Danny might've hurt himself. 2.) She wondered how to get him off the ground and stop laughing. And most importantly, 3.) She wondered what on earth could've made him laugh so hard.
Danny, on the other hand, was still rolling on the ground howling like a monkey.
"Danny, what are you laughing at?"
Danny slapped the ground several times and then exclaimed between laughs: "It's you! You should've seen yourself!"
Sandy looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"The way you try to sound tough is so...so..." He burst into laughter once more.
Sandy rolled her eyes. "Come on, Danny. You're going to get help." She paused for a moment, and then added: "We're going to see the doctor."
Upon hearing the word 'doctor', Danny stopped laughing and went nuts. "Doctor!" he cried as if his own girlfriend was a lunatic. "I don't wanna go to the witch doctor!" Then something triggered his mind. "Witch doctor!" he exclaimed with glee. Then he started to sing a beloved childhood clapping game tune. "I saw the witch doctor and asked her what to do! Then she said ooh eee ooh aah aah fizzle popple walla-walla bing-bang..."
Apparently, Australian schoolchildren never played that clapping game, because Sandy was looking at Danny as if he was crazier than he already was. But she did see that this was the perfect chance to get the caffeinated boy outta there. She helped him up onto his feet and took his hand. She took him out of the playground and led him in the direction of Frenchy's house.
Danny was still singing the Witch Doctor Song.
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Finally, a use for my Yo Momma jokes! Well, R&R, por favor. No Chapter 3 until I get 5 reviews (since no one ever comes to the Grease section cuz they're all in the HSM section). And Ch. 3 is where Danny encounters Frenchy, the Witch Doctor who's armed with needles! So if you wanna see that, you'd better gimme a review!