Harry wasn't sure if he was a masochist or if he was just madly in love with Draco Malfoy for no real reason. As they made their way into the Great Hall, Harry couldn't help but search for his savior. The platinum blonde head bobbed several feet in front of him, to the right a bit. He watched the back of Draco's head and reached up to touch the still slightly stinging cheek. Warmth filled him up, though he knew he should be upset.

Draco's head turned back to look at him. Harry grinned at him and the boy raised an eyebrow at him. He realized he was still tenderly touching the red spot and quickly dropped his hand. He blushed, dropping his gaze. Now Draco knew that Harry really was a freak. Shit, he thought miserably, any chance I might have had just flew out the goddam window. Harry sighed and shuffled to the Gryffindor table as the mass entered the Great Hall.

He didn't listen very closely as Dumbledore gave a speech, the hat gave a speech, and the first years were sorted. He merely stared into space his chant beginning once again, white-blonde hair, grey eyes, pink lips, white-blonde hair, grey eyes, pink lips, it halted as something white flew into his vision. It was a small white paper crane. It flew down to his empty plate and settled down, no longer moving. Harry delicately unfolded the crane and read the words that were in a wonderfully elegant scrawl.

Potter,

I want to talk to you. This isn't a trick, I promise. Please meet me on the Astronomy Tower at midnight. I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't discuss this with anyone else. I only want to talk to you, so please do not bring Granger or Weasley.

Sincerely,

Draco Malfoy

Harry's heart swelled at the prospect of a secret meeting with Draco. Something else swelled as he thought about it and it made him blush greatly. He searched the Slytherin table for Draco and found he was looking at him already. He blushed harder and wiggled his fingers at Draco, whose face dusted pink at it and he turned away. Harry happily beamed and turned to the food in front of him. He stuffed the note in his pocket and piled some food on his plate.

As he ate his stomach churned and he almost threw it back up. Anxiety started curling inside him about the meeting. He pushed his plate away and forced his chant to start again. He leaned his head on his hand and whispered the chant in his head. He could have sat there for hours and he wouldn't have realized things were happening around him. He'd closed his eyes and submitted to the chant. Suddenly, fingers pressed to the back of his head and he jerked out of his trance, flinching horribly.

"You ok, mate?" Ron's voice questioned.

Harry relaxed, realizing that it had been Ron's fingers on his head. it was probably no more than a second, in an attempt to get Harry's attention. Harry sighed in relief.

"I'm fine," Harry answered.

He looked up to see that the Great Hall was clearing out. It was time for everyone to go to bed. Which meant, much to Harry's delight, that midnight couldn't be far off now. Harry jumped up and followed Ron to the tower, glad to be well on his way to his secret visit with Draco. He lay in his bed for the couple of remaining hours, his body shivering with anticipation. He twisted his hands nervously, wondering what Draco wanted to talk about. It was probably what had happened to him and he knew he couldn't tell him.

When 11:40 came around, he rolled out of bed and started for the Astronomy Tower. He was incredibly anxious. He wondered what Draco would ask and if he'd slap him again. A shiver ran down his spine. He wasn't sure if it was fear or excitement or both. As he climbed the stairs his heart fluttered against his chest. When he reached the top he saw Draco leaning against the window. A cool breeze blew through the Slytherin's platinum blonde hair and Harry blushed (again! it was getting to be a common occurrence).

"Hi," Harry squeaked out.

Draco turned and looked at Harry. Harry had half-hoped for a smile, but didn't receive one.

"Will you tell me now what happened to you?" Draco questioned outright.

"I can't tell you," Harry answered.

Draco sighed and waved Harry forward. Harry came forward, almost trance-like. He stopped a foot away from Draco.

"I understand," Draco whispered, "You need someone. And for some reason you think that person is me. Ok, I'll be here for you. But I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong."

"I don't need help," Harry intoned.

Draco's hand flew across his face once again, leaving a buzzing feeling flowing through him.

"Quit lying to me," Draco said in an angry voice.

"Sorry," Harry whispered.

"What is wrong with you?!" Draco demanded loudly.

A shock went through Harry as his mind went back to another time those words had been screamed at him. His body shook as the large man hovered above him, screaming at him. He dropped to his knees, hot tears beginning to fall down his face. The man above him growled at him, screaming about how much of a freak he was. Harry's face whipped to one side and he cried out as a belt buckle smacked across his left cheek.

"Open your mouth boy!" the voice screamed at him.

Harry felt no strength to resist, so he opened his mouth and leaned forward. He curled his lips around his teeth, knowing that if his teeth touched the hard flesh he'd be mercilessly beaten until he passed out. He screwed his eyes shut waiting for the hot, hard flesh to press into his mouth. But it never came. Instead a pair of thin arms wrapped themselves around him. He opened his eyes in shock and realized he was in Hogwarts, in the Astronomy Tower, being hugged by Draco Malfoy.

"Are you back?" Draco whispered in his ear.

"I'm sorry, Draco," Harry whispered back, "I'm sorry!"

"It's ok, Harry," Draco murmured, "It's ok. It's not your fault."

Harry choked as his tears fell and he buried his face in Draco's shoulder.

"He said it was," he wailed into the black fabric, "He said it was because I was a freak."

"He's wrong, Harry," Draco answered in an urgent voice, "It's not your fault and you are not a freak. He's the freak. He's the one that has a problem. Not you, it's not you, Harry. You are perfect."

Harry let out a strangled cry, wishing with all his heart that Draco's words were true. But they weren't. He was tainted. He was a freak. He was all wrong. Alive when he should be dead. Fucked when he should be a virgin. He was wrong in every way there was. He wished he could be perfect for Draco, because Draco was perfect.

"You're thinking too hard, Harry," Draco chuckled, "I see the little gears turning in your head."

"I'm sorry," Harry mumbled.

"Stop saying that," Draco sighed, "You don't need to be sorry."

Harry nuzzled into Draco's shoulder even deeper, wishing he could live there like that forever. But he knew he couldn't. But Draco would rarely touch him and he would take what he could get. For now, he would stop thinking. No chant, no memories. Just Draco's arms and Draco's scent.

"Harry," Draco said softly, "We need to talk about what happened before we went in the Great Hall. You were touching your cheek where I hit you."

Harry flinched. Oh fuck.