"Zahida!"
"Hello handsome."
Zahida appeared from behind the large bunch of flowers that were almost eclipsing her, and stood on tiptoe to receive Christian's embrace.
"Don't squash them.." She spotted Christian's quick glance at the other flowers crammed on the windowsill and reassured him;
"They're already in a vase. I figured he'd have got loads and you might run out of things to put them in."
"Oh, but these are beautiful, you're so thoughtful." Christian led her into the room, relieving her of the bouquet and placing it in pride of place on the table.
"You poor thing!" Zahida's soft brown hair fell across Syed's cheek as he kissed her. She settled down on the bed beside him and rummaged in the shopper that hung from her shoulder, eventually producing a Tupperware box.
"You made sweets!" Eye's bright with delight, Syed prised open the lid and broke off a piece of Gulab Jamun, popping it greedily into his mouth.
"Fatso." Christian commented, pushing at Sam's still prone body with his foot.
Zahida regarded him with amusement.
"Sam, why are you on the floor?"
Voice muffled by the rug, Sam grumbled;
"Christian's been beating me up."
"And he can't get up, because he's so turned on it might alarm the ladies.. Can I get you something to drink, Za?" Christian hovered between the fridge and the kettle.
"Cup of tea please, lovely. It wouldn't alarm me, might remind me of what I'm missing. Talking of which.."
She delved into the depths of her bag and pulled out a magazine, holding it gingerly between thumb and forefinger, her nose wrinkled in disgust.
"Barry bought you a porn mag, Syed. He was very proud because he chose it himself."
Sam pushed himself upright and skewed around, sitting cross legged on the floor.
"Your marriage is a sham, Zahida, a SHAM!"
Wiping her brow in feigned relief, Zahida laughed.
"Thank goodness, I can divorce him and marry someone who isn't always away on business. Which is where he is now, in Brussels. He sends his love.." She twitched the corner of the magazine that lay unopened on Syed's lap, "..and some porn. He's a bit worried that Christian might get all lardy, if he's not training.."
Syed beamed contentedly.
"Oh, it's okay. He's been doing weights." He pointed to the end of the bed. "Standing there.."
"That must be nice for you!"
"Too bloody right. Unless I'm trying to watch Cash In The Attic.."
Groaning, Sam reached for the magazine.
"You'd rather watch that than see those muscles in action? That knock on the head has addled your brain, Syed.." He ducked the corner of sweet that had been aimed at him.
" I'm joking, numpty! There's nothing better than watching Christian work out, actually one thing…"
" Ooh, aren't you a saucepot!…" Sam turned the page he was reading upside down, squinting at the photo's in disbelief.
"..That's not humanly possible, surely?"
Handing Zahida a cup of tea, Christian sighed as Syed requested one too.
"Why didn't you say?"
"I'm saying now! I can get it myself.." Syed made to push the duvet aside, remembering just in time that he was naked from the waist down, aside from a length of plaster of paris.
"No, stay there, I'll do it. What's not humanly possible Sam?"
Taking the magazine from Steve, who had been scrutinising it with a perplexed expression, Sam threw it over.
"What's that meant to be?" Christian held the page further away and tilted it to one side, narrowing his eyes. He held it in front of Syed, who blinked twice in alarm.
"I have no idea.. But thank Barry very much, I think. After all, it's the thought that counts.."
"Baz is a weirdo.." Christian went to boil the kettle again.
"Tell me about it! Oh, the kids made you a get well soon card.." Zahida produced a gaily painted piece of paper, a drawing of Syed with a chimney on his head and a lot of red lines spurting from his knee.
"..They're a bit strange too.."
"Oh, it's great, bless them. Everyone's been so kind.." Syed waved his hand in the direction of the flowers.
"..All these. Jane and Denise keep making us lovely food, Kim brought Christian a bottle of rum, Tam and Afia are always popping in, Matt and Calum sent a huge basket of fruit, Tanya keeps phoning to check I'm okay, Steve and Sam gave me DVD's…"
"Anal Torture.." Christian slid a mug of tea onto the shelf beside Syed. "..Careful, it's hot."
"Aww, Christian probably tested the temperature with his elbow, diddums. And FYI, we wouldn't part with our copy of Anal Torture for the world, would we Stevie?"
Sam poked Steve in the foot, and he grunted mildly in response.
"If you say so.."
"It's a boxed set of CSI's Zahida, take no notice.." Syed put the lid back on the box as she declined a sweet, "…and why anyone would want to do that with a chair leg, I've no idea." He giggled as Christian's jaw dropped.
"Where have you seen it?" Christian's asked, his face a picture of incredulity.
"Oh you know, here and there.."
"Hither and thither.." Sam joined in, chuckling evilly, settling himself down to enjoy the spectacle of a domestic.
Rising suddenly from the sofa, Steve's physical presence made the flat seem like a doll's house, as if a giant had strayed in. He grabbed Sam firmly by the collar of his shirt and dragged him to his feet.
"Stop stirring, you evil little shit. Sam had it playing on a loop on the kitchen telly at our last party, it was hard to avoid it. You were too pissed to notice, Christian."
"Ah.." Christian sighed with relief, quickly followed by an outraged grunt.
"..I wasn't, was I?"
"You were!" Four voices chorused in unison.
"That's a bit conclusive, oops."
Zahida leant across the bed to kiss Syed, and rose to leave.
"Can I give you two a lift anywhere? I've got to go and pick the kids up."
"Cool!" Sam linked arms with her and waved. "See you later, love birds!"
Hugging Christian tight, Steve scrutinised his face.
"Are you alright matey? The pair of you, managing?"
"Oh he loves it," Sam cut in waspishly, "he's like Florence Nightingale, bet he's got a little squeaky oil lamp somewhere, and a petticoat.. OW! STE! GET OFF!"
Sam was frog marched, protesting, to the door, pausing before he was bundled down the stairs to turn and blow kisses, shouting;
"I love you! Get well sooooon!"
"It's gone very quiet.." Syed shifted his leg, wincing slightly. In a flash, Christian helped him move up the mattress to get more comfortable, plumping the pillows behind his head.
"Bliss, isn't it. It hasn't tired you out too much?"
"No, I've loved having them here. Nice it's just us now, I suppose no one else is coming?"
"You never know.. Here, give me that.." Christian took the Tupperware box from beside Syed.
"Ha! I think Sam's half inched our porn mag!"
"Oh dear, what a shame.." Syed said sarcastically. "You don't think Barry is gay do you?"
"Baz? 'Course not, he loves the bones of that woman, he just likes joining in the banter. I daresay he's the same at his Rugby club. You look exhausted baby, do you want anything to eat? Sandwich?"
Puffing out his cheeks, Syed rubbed his stomach and declined;
"Noooo, thank you. Eaten too many sweets. I might have a snooze. You could join me?"
"Now, that's a good idea…" Lifting the side of the duvet, Christian made to slide in, halting abruptly, his mouth turned downwards in disappointment, as the entry phone buzzed again.