APRIL
I don't know how I feel about being in Dallas.
On the one hand, the sunshine is great. The weather is wonderful and I haven't been to a restaurant yet that I haven't enjoyed. It wasn't as expensive as some of the other cities that I had lived in, either. But on the other hand, there's a dark history there, looming over. Something that I couldn't ignore however much I wanted to. But I was putting my career first. Before history, before everything lingering in my past. This had to be a step in the right direction. It had to be.
There were worse first autopsies to have, certainly. The smell that comes along with it was something that I had gotten over long ago. I'm not sure if I'm a fan of my assistant, but he did his job well enough. Probably another reason he was mad that I had this job and he didn't.
But it didn't seem like all of the people that I had to work with was going to be quite as difficult. Even if Detective Shepherd seemed like he was going to be a little much to handle on the wrong (or right) day of the week, Detective Avery – Jackson, he seemed nice. More than nice, actually. I'd be lying to myself if I said that I hadn't thoroughly enjoyed spending time with him on Saturday night.
The rest of the weekend came and went in a blur. I'm still unpacking my apartment – it's a high rise, just me and my cat, Essie. She's stretched out by the window in the sunlight, where she'll probably stay until it was no longer the ideal spot to soak in the warmth.
"Good morning, stinker," I greet her affectionately as I rolled myself out of bed, giving her a quick scratch on the head before going to make coffee. It was the start of a new week and even if my job wasn't exactly the typical nine to five workweek that most people might have daydreamed about, I tried to put some kind of normalcy into my schedule when it was allowed. I have my coffee and cereal, skim through the paper, and do my hair. I try to be a little bit normal. A bit of extra effort is put into my appearance on this particular morning, though. I planned on hand delivery the autopsy report to Detective Avery this morning instead of sending someone else to do it.
Morning traffic is a nightmare in Dallas just like it is every other city. The only notable difference was the fact that it seemed like it was truck after truck surrounding me, making my little Honda feel incompetent when it came to weaseling in and out of traffic. Everything was bigger in Texas, apparently. Or maybe the men just had more to compensate for.
It's already done from Owen's work from the day past, and I review it once more before signing off on it officially. Officially cause of death, exsanguination for both of the victims. They had each bled out and lost over half of their total blood volume within minutes of the stabbings considering how fatal the blows had been. I couldn't say whether or not the victims were targeted, that was up to the detectives, but the killer had certainly known how to get the job done. The first wounds had been the most fatal and the rest were overkill.
It reminds me of someone I rather not think about. Just a coincidence, I had to remind myself.
The flight of stairs up to the bullpen where the homicide detectives was a short one, and I'm pleased to see that Detective Avery, as well as Detective Shepherd, were both already there. I smile to myself for a moment. He looks more put together today than the first time I saw him, that's for sure. Basketball shorts traded for dark pants and a white button-down that fit him well.
"Morning, detectives," I greeted the both of them and handed over the report to Jackson. "Here are the reports for both of your victims. We're still looking for a name on the Jane Doe and running her dentals in the system, but so far, it doesn't look like anything is coming up." I informed them.
"Thank you, Dr. Kepner," Jackson replied formally.
"April," I don't mind correcting him. After spending Saturday night with him, it felt a little more natural to be on a first name basis with him. Even if I'm still not entirely sold on his partner just yet.
"How are you settling in, April?" Detective Shepherd interrupted, breaking the eye contact that the two of us I had made. He apparently didn't have any qualms about diving right in with me. But he had made that pretty clear from day one with the way that he laid it on thick.
I looked at him with a smile. "Very well, thank you for asking."
"Anything abnormal that we should know about the autopsies?" Jackson asked, interrupting before anything awkward could occur between the two of us. He flipped open the file and began looking through it, handing the other one off to his partner.
"Uh, no, not in particular," I answered with a quick shake of my head. "Mr. Gonzalez had a bit to drink that night but he wasn't above the legal limit. Same with our Jane Doe. I'm guessing the two of them met at a bar before they went off for their… extracurricular activities. Both of them died from blood loss. It's overkill, though. The first stab wound on each of them would have been enough to kill them but he decided to keep going instead." I elaborated on quickly, letting myself get caught up enough in the details of the case to ramble slightly.
"He? Do you have proof it's a male?" Shepherd questioned me.
I shook my head. "Uh, no, not technically. But this kind of overkill, the rage and the level of violence, it's pretty consistent with males. I'd be more than shocked if it was a female who did it but technically, the killer didn't leave behind any fibers on the scene or on either of them."
"Thanks for bringing this by," Avery said as he shut the folder and looked up at me. "You want any coffee or anything while you're up here?" He asked.
"Oh, no, I already had my one and done for the morning," I answered but kept a smile on my face. "But thanks. Uh, let me know if you guys need anything else from the bodies." I switched gears, glancing between the both of them for a moment. Then my gaze goes right back to Jackson again. "But uh, maybe later you can show me one of those taco trucks you were talking about Saturday night?" I suggested hopefully with a raise of my eyebrows.
"Yeah, that'd be good," he answered, grinning back at me for a moment.
The moment of smiles between the two of us is ruined by Shepherd clearing his throat, glancing back and forth. "Anyways, we should probably get back to the case." He said, jabbing Jackson with his elbow.
"Of course!" I chirped quickly, stepping back. "Uh, you know where to find me…" I trailed off awkwardly, turning around on my heel to scamper away. I don't miss out on overhearing a bit of conversation between the two of them, mostly, Derek throwing out the assumption that the two of us had already slept together and Jackson denying it quickly. I'm not quite sure why he's so fast to deny it, but I don't want to linger on it. Nothing had happened, after all. He could be gay, for all I knew.
But I still smile to myself as I head back downstairs, a little amused by just the possibility. Jackson was handsome and seemed like a good guy. Obviously, his profession spoke to the kind of character that he had. And he had gone out of his way to be polite with me. All of those things were pretty good signs.
Being new meant that there was enough paperwork and other forms of busy work to catch up on, easily filling the gaps between having to actually deal with handling corpses. Organization was apparently more important to me than it was the previous chief medical examiner.
Lunchtime comes and goes, and I wait. I thought that maybe he would come down to get me so a little after one o'clock, I popped back upstairs to see if he was there. And he wasn't. Apparently, he and Detective Shepherd had gone out chasing a lead. Disappointed with the news but settling, I go down the block and grab a sandwich from Subway. This was likely the kind of thing to be expected. With homicide, there were all kinds of chaos running around.
The rest of the day comes and goes without much of a fuss. Not every day was chaos.
Of course, being a city like Dallas, there's usually something to do. Not every death required an autopsy, but there were plenty of suspicious ones. Spending days with dead bodies probably wasn't most people's idea of a good day, but I'd always liked to solve puzzles. To me, that's what the body was. A mystery waiting to be solved. I'd gotten pretty good at piecing together the clues over the years.
Things get a little easier when it comes to dealing with Owen, but I'd already decided that Jackson was going to be my favorite coworker. There were some things that you just picked up on quickly. I don't see him again until Wednesday evening when he stops down in my lab, and I can't help but light up with a smile.
"Hey, April," he greeted.
"Detective Avery." I chirped out in surprise. "Did you need something?"
"No, no," he shook his head. "I just wanted to apologize for bailing on you the other day. Derek and I got up chasing a lead that ended up being nothing." He elaborated.
I shook my head quickly. "You don't need to apologize for doing your job."
"Well, I'd like to make it up to you regardless. Let me take you to dinner." Jackson offered.
"Are you sure?" I stuttered out unintentionally. "I mean, I'd love you. To! I'd love to. Sorry. It's been a long day. But you don't have to do that, though. I mean, it's not a big deal. Not at all." Already tripping over my words was not a good sign for any of this.
"How about Saturday night again, barring any work interruptions?" He suggested, a smile pulling at his expression. The amusement was clear in his face even if he didn't actually laugh at my expense.
"That sounds great," I answered with a smile, trying to ignore that my cheeks were burning with blush.
Jackson pulled out his phone and handed it to me. "Why don't you put your number in and I'll text you in the next day or two about the details?" He offered.
I typed in my number quickly, handing it back to them. "That sounds good."
"And I'll send you a text right now so you have my number," he murmured. A moment later my phone buzzed and I pulled it out of my pocket, his number and a smiling emoji with its tongue sticking out appearing on my lock screen.
"Got it." I turned it toward him so that he could see for himself, pocketing the device once more. "I guess it's a date."
The words come out of my mouth before I could stop them, and I swore my heart stopping beating for a moment out of sheer embarrassment. It didn't have to be that at all. Coworkers hung out and got to know each other all the time, he thought that I was new to the city and it could be nothing more than sheer politeness. If any guy had made that assumption about me, I probably would have flipped a table.
"I guess so," Jackson replied back smoothly, giving me a charming smile.
Oh, thank God.
"Are you heading out for the night?" He asked after a moment, and I gave a quick nod of the head. "Why don't you let me walk you to your car?"
"Sure, give me just a second." I turn my back on him as I turned off my computer and grabbed my things, pulling my car keys out of my purse and lifting it up onto my shoulder. It didn't take me more than a minute to straighten things up. "Alright, I'm ready to go."
Jackson offered me his arm and I took it, hooking elbows with him. He's quite a bit taller than me but it doesn't make too much of a difference. I can't help but take notice of just how muscular he was, the circumference of his upper arm had to be twice that of my own. We talking a comfortable silence out to my car, and I don't mind. He had a kind of solidifying presence that was nice to be around. It must have worked wonders with scared citizens under the right (or wrong) circumstances. When we reach my car, I turn and pull away to face him.
"You seem like a really nice guy," I commented honestly.
"So why do you say that like it's a bad thing?" He questioned without missing a beat.
"I'm not– it's not," I backtracked quickly with a shake of my head. "Some of the guys that I worked with in Seattle were… kind of dicks, if I'm being honest. And sexist. You're not like that at all. It's kind of a breath of fresh air, actually." I smiled up at him.
To my surprise, he bent down and pressed a chaste kiss on my cheek. "I haven't been a homicide detective for very long. I guess I just haven't become jaded yet," he brushed off.
"I hope you don't," I murmured sincerely, looking up at him for a long moment.
"Me too."
When I go home that night, there's a lightness in my heart that I haven't felt in a long time. Essie greets me meowing at the door the second that I come in, and once I've set down my purse and keys, I feed her dinner. Instead of getting up for the pasta salad in my fridge though, I squat down, stroking her fur. She's a little bit of an old lady – I'd rescued her in medical school and didn't know her exact age, but that'd been years ago. She had become the constant in my life from place to place, my best company.
I didn't consider myself a crazy cat lady. I only had her, after all. But I did use her as an excuse for being a little antisocial. She's a good companion. Listened better than anyone else I had ever been around. That's something that I don't tell anyone, though.
Another constant in my life since medical school was the fact that I hadn't actually had a boyfriend or relationship in general since then. I'd had a boyfriend of nearly two years in the middle of it and once he'd found about where I really came from, he'd said hurtful things that still haunted me. I was a freak. Crazy. It'd put me off from pursuing anything after that. It had been so easy to shut my heart down.
Despite every better instinct in my body, I could feel my heart warming up again. I touched my cheek for a moment, feeling where he had kissed me once more, and let out a sigh.
"I think I really like him, Essie." I scratched behind her ears.
She meowed loudly back at me.
"Bad idea? Yeah, I know."
Sighing, I eat dinner and take a long shower before retiring to another episode of Mindhunter. It was just my latest binge. The rest of the week flies by with activity, much to my chagrin.
Friday afternoon was when I finally got the text for arranging our date – or maybe not date? – night plans. I'm still not entirely sure whether or not he was on board for that, but he'd stuck to his word and hadn't bailed on me yet. That was a sign of things going in the right direction, even if I was scared to get my hopes up.
Jackson sent me an address, a time, and another smiling emoji. I google the address as soon as I get the chance to sit down at a computer. It was some place called The Porch. It was advertised as a happening gastropub, and honestly, I'm not entirely sure what it meant. But the reviews raved about it. A little pricey, but not enough to make me turn my nose up at the place.
By the time that I wake up on Saturday morning, though, I'm completely pumped. I do my grocery shopping and clean up my apartment a bit, and I take another long shower, shaving and exfoliating my skin, lathering up in lotion until I'm impossibly soft. I curl my hair in long, loose ringlets and put on a natural face of makeup. I didn't want to be over the top and it said the place was a casual atmosphere – so nude eyeshadows and lipsticks was the way to go.
Once I had put on a pair of dark wash jeans and a black, ruffled, off the shoulder top, I begin to short drive over, leaving out Essie's dinner for her early. I didn't want to be late. I'd always been fussy about being on time.
I park and wait, trying to see if I could recognize his truck. A black Dodge Ram, unfortunately, wasn't as specific of a descriptor as it might have been in Chicago. It seemed like at least half of the population of the city of Dallas had decided that they wanted a big, black truck.
About five minutes before the time that we had arranged to meet, I finally get out of my car and walk up to the entrance of the restaurant. To my pleasure, Jackson was already standing outside and waiting for me. We both lit up with a smile nearly at the exact same time as we made eye contact with each other and I pick up my pace a little bit to go greet him. When I'm the right distance away, he bent down and greeted me with another kiss on the lips.
"Hey, you look great," Jackson complimented me right off the bat.
"Thank you, so do you," I returned it without hesitation. He did look sharp, a black, short sleeve button down and pants to match. Nothing necessary spectacular about it but it fit him incredibly well. It put his muscles on display at the same time, too. I never thought that I'd be the type of girl to fawn over a guy's muscles, but here I was, ready to drool.
We're seated without having to wait much to my surprise. It's a bit busy but not impossibly crowded, the waitress coming over to take our drink orders quickly. We each go for a cocktail – he chose the Old Cuban Mojito, and I go for the Strawberry Crush. I almost always went for anything with strawberry. He went ahead and ordered the two of us an appetizer, spinach and parmesan dip. I'd be lying to myself if I tried to say it didn't sound delicious.
"So I take it that you've been here before?" I prompted curiously, raising my eyebrows.
"Yeah," he gave a nod of his head. "A few times with my mom, actually. She really likes this place."
"That's sweet," I smiled. "Are you close with her?"
"Very," Jackson answered. "Growing up it was just me and her. I didn't have any siblings and my dad ditched when I was young, I barely remember him. She's a big-time lawyer, a prosecutor, actually. She lives in the city too. So we were always pretty close growing up." He elaborated while I listened and nodded. "What about you? Are you close with any of your family?"
It was a loaded question, even if he didn't know it. I shook my head. "Uh, not really, no. I was always the weird one in my family. Three sisters, both parents, still never managed to fit in. I… get Christmas cards from them, usually. But we don't talk a lot." I shrug it off, dropping my gaze for a moment. I don't want to make a big deal about it and I certainly don't want to get emotional. The waitress interrupted for a moment, dropping off our drinks and water. I pick mine up quickly and take a sip.
"There's nothing wrong with being a black sheep." Jackson said quickly, no doubt trying to offer up some sympathy. "Everyone else in my family is some big, hot shot lawyer. They all thought I was crazy when I enrolled in the police academy instead of law school."
"Really?" I questioned. "I mean, you're still taking a part of the law process. A more direct one, kind of. You're on the front lines, putting your life at risk every day… that's a big deal."
"That's what I think," he gave a small shrug of his shoulders. "I like what I do. I know that I like it a lot more than I would sitting around an office."
"That's good," I smiled. "I love my job, too. I know that it's kind of weird and people usually think that I'm a freak for it. But I like what I do. I think it's important and it's like a puzzle. Except instead of one thousand or ten thousand tiny plastic pieces, you have the human body." I rambled on easily.
Jackson smiled right back at me. "Well, I couldn't do my job if you didn't do yours. So I think that means that I have to agree with you," he laughed.
"I guess," I chuckled right back at him. "You can think that I'm weird, though. Most people do."
"Nah, you're too cute to be weird." He disagreed. "I mean, look at you. You must have been the most popular girl at your high school." He waved his hand as he spoke.
I snorted. Loudly. "Not even close. Try… braces. Glasses. Pigeon toes. I was one of the untouchables."
"Really?" He grinned, showing his teeth completely. "I would have never guessed. Honestly. You're a gorgeous woman, Dr. Kepner. I'm surprised that someone hasn't already come in and put a ring on your finger."
I shook my head, but I was smiling, unable to help myself. "April." I corrected. "What about you?"
"Ah, you're going to hate me. Football team. Prom king. I had… money and people knew it, so, it was kind of hard to tell sometimes who really wanted to be my friend and who just wanted to be associated with me," Jackson admitted with an honest shrug. We couldn't have been more different. That was for the best.
"I'm sorry about that." I said earnestly.
The waitress interrupted once more, placing down the appetizer in front of us. We each ordered our meals. I decided on the short rib stroganoff and he went for the chicken fried steak.
Chattering on and off throughout the course of the meal was easier than I expected. I've always been a little closed off from people, especially since I was a teenager, but something about the charisma that he radiated made me want to talk to him. It felt silly, girlish, to be enamored by him so easily. And yet I was. All of those defenses that I had pieced up over the years were beginning to crack down.
By the time that we had ordered a slice of butter cake to split and finished it off eagerly, I don't want to go. I'd forgotten how nice it was to just be in another person's company and chatter without having to worry about everything else going on. It was uplifting.
We paused outside of my car, and I wondered for a moment if he wanted to continue the evening just as much as I did. I haven't taken anyone home with me in a longtime. It's not a sexual thing, even if it had been a long time since I had even begun to think about something like that. It was something than ran much deeper than just that. Trying to tell myself otherwise was a waste of time.
"I had a really good time tonight, Jackson." I commented, looking up at him with a smile.
Jackson reached to cup my cheek for a moment, holding it, and I couldn't help but beam. After a moment of the simple, intimate gesture, he leaned down and pressed a warm kiss against my mouth. I leaned into it naturally, breathing him in, letting my lips part for him. I missed people so much more than I realized. Isolation hadn't done me any favors. Maybe he really could bring me back out of my shell again.
"So did I," he echoed the sentiment when he finally pulled away, grinning down at me.
"I'll see you at work on Monday." I said with a raise of my eyebrows.
"Yes, yes you will."