Many weeks had passed and Mrs. Hughes wounds were healing, the ones in her heart slower than the ones on her skin. Mr. Green had been arrested after what happened, and waiting, were they, for the trial.
She had been getting ill in the mornings, and Charles was afraid that she might have caught an infection. Dr. Clarkson used to come one or twice along the week to check on her, and Charles was waiting for today's visit so he could tell him.
He was pacing along the corridor when he heard Dr. Clarkson and Anna talking. He saw them at the end of the corridor, and walked in their direction.
-Dr. Clarkson, before you see her, I want to tell you something. She's been getting ill in the mornings, she's been very tired, and she always keeps track of her period in her calendar. She's two weeks late.
-You think she could be…?
-I don't know, that's why I told you.
-Don't worry. Let's see if she is, or not, ok Mr. Carson?
He nodded. Dr. Clarkson walked to her room and entered it. Anna squeezed Mr. Carson's upper arm, smiled and went back to the servants hall. He swallowed hard his feelings, trying to stay calm. After several minutes Dr. Clarkson got out from the room and approached Mr. Carson.
-Her wounds are much better, and I think she will be able to star walking, at least, around the room.
-And about the other thing?
-She is, I'm sorry.
-Does she know?
-I had to tell her. When I left the room she was crying.
-Thank you Dr. Clarkson.
-No need to thank me, it's my job. Mr. Carson, Charles, I know she means a lot to you, so please, stay by her side. She needs a lot of help right now. She needs you. Don't be like other men that leave their wives or their girlfriends after being raped by someone. Sometimes they even leave them pregnant. It's not her fault.
-Don't you worry Dr. Clarkson. I won't.
-You are a good men Mr. Carson. I'm glad she has you.
Dr. Clarkson turned and left, leaving Mr. Carson in the silence of the corridor. He slowly walked to Mrs. Hughes room and knocked.
-Who is it? - He could hear her sobs and felt how his heart broke into pieces.
-It's me. May I come in?
-If you want. - He felt how disgusted she was with herself.
He opened it and entered the room. She was lying in bed, with her hands on her tummy and was looking out the window.
-Elsie?
-You know by now, don't you?
-Yes. I was the one who asked Dr. Clarkson to… you know.
-To find out if I was pregnant or not?!- Elsie's eyes were red from crying.
-I just wanted to know if it was this or an infection that could kill you.
-Well this is no better than an infection, is it? Now I'm going to be a mother, out of wedlock, and the father of my child is going to be a criminal. I should've stayed in Scotland.
-Don't say that.
-It's the bloody truth Charles! You just can run away from it!
-No, we can't, but we can trick our minds.
-What do you mean?
-You have to have this child, I know I'm not its father, but we could make everyone think that is ours.
-But what about your honour?! What if the child is born before we are married?
-That I will claim to be its father, and I won't care a bit about what they say.
-I wish this baby were yours. I mean it Charles.
-I know Elsie, but we can't change how life works.
-I hate life. Why it had to happen to me. I'm old, why did I have to get pregnant. Why?!
-Elsie, I think you should rest.
-Rest?! Do you think that something like this is going to change by resting?!
-No. You are right. Anything is going to change it.
-Now don't try to comfort me by saying that I'm right!
-Alright! - Charles closed the door with such force that it was heard in the library by Lady and Lord Grantham. - What the hell you want to hear?! You want to hear me saying that you should have stayed in your bloody house, being hit and raped by your bloody father?! Is it?!
-Don't talk about my father.
-You know is the truth Elsie. You can't run away from it, like you said.
-Don't talk about my father!
-Then who I should talk about?! About your loveless heart?! About how stupid I was of giving it to you in the first place?!
-Giving me what?!
-My heart.
-Leave Mr. Carson.
-I'm not finished!
-Yes you are Mr. Carson. Leave my room at once, unless you want me to call Mr. Barrow.
He turned away from her and got out from the room.
-What's wrong Mr. Carson? Her Ladyship had heard the screams and was a little worried.
-There's not going to be any wedding.
-Why?
-We are too different, and I can't take care of a baby that is not mine.
He walked back downstairs, feeling empty, angry and sad. Anna saw that her Ladyship was standing in the corridor, shocked.
-M' lady?
-Anna, did Mr. Carson just say that Mrs. Hughes is pregnant?
-He did m'lady.
-And there's not going to be any wedding?
-Yes m'lady.
She walked to Mrs. Hughes room, knocked and entered. She had her hands covering her face, like if she was trying to hide her tears from the world.
-Mrs. Hughes? – She walked slowly to her bed.
Elsie looked up and found her Ladyship staring at her. She whipped her tears with the back of her hand.
-Is there anything I can do to help you m'lady?
-Mrs. Hughes I understand that you and Mr. Carson had a fight. Was it because he found out you are pregnant?
-M'lady, he was the one who told Dr. Clarkson to run some test, or whatever, on me to find out if I was indeed pregnant or not.
-Then why is he so angry?
-Because I've been rude and haven't really paid any kind of attention to what he was saying. But he also said some horrible things m'lady.
-It's been a very strange time, for all of us. Think of what you told him and what he told you, give each other some time, then you can talk again.
-You mean that he has to come back?
-Yes. He will, every men does, after some time of thinking.
-But what if he doesn't?
-He will Mrs. Hughes. No need to worry. And about your wedding, don't worry, you'll get married.
-You really think so m'lady?
-I do. Now rest. You need to.
She nodded, closing her eyes. Her Ladyship walked to the door, took one last glance at Mrs. Hughes and left. Anna was waiting outside.
-Is something wrong m'lady?
-They just had an argument.
-Is it really true that there's not going to be a wedding?
-I don't think so. They are made for each other, they just need time to set adjust to the changes.
-Does she need anything?
-No, she's resting.
Her Ladyship walked downstairs, looking for her husband or Mr. Carson. She found both in the library, talking.
-Robert, may I talk with Mr. Carson for a minute?
-Of course.
He left the room. She was trying to find words for what she wanted to say, but couldn't.
-M'lady?
-Mr. Carson, she's very important to you, isn't she?
-She's nothing to me but a pain.
-A pain in your heart?
-What do you mean m'lady?
-Carson, she has been raped, she's alone, scared and pregnant. Both of you are tired, of everything, but you can't cancel all your plans because of an argument. She needs someone, and even if you think that she's trying to back away from you she's not doing it on purpose. She has a mix of feeling right now, except for one, the one that tells you that she loves you.
-Maybe you are right m'lady. Maybe we both said things we shouldn't have.
-Just give her time to adjust to the little one, ok?
-Of course m'lady.
-And one last thing.
-What m'lady?
-You two are getting married next week.
-What?
-I don't want that child without father Mr. Carson, and I'm sure Mrs. Hughes doesn't either.
-I'll go and tell her.
-No. She's resting. You can go, but don't wake her up.
Charles nodded and turned to leave the room. He felt stupid and he was sure that she felt the same way. He walked upstairs to her room, opened it and approached to the bed. She looked so beautifulin her sleep. Her cheeks were a beautiful shade of pink, her auburn curls were spread all over her pillow, and a small smile on her lips. Charles noticed that her hands were on her tummy. He looked back to the door, almost sure that she didn't want him in her room, but then he approached his face to her cheek and kissed her.
-I'm sorry.
It was the last thing he said before sitting beside her on the bed. He was so in love with this woman. His woman.
No-one knew where the butler could be, not a single clue. Everyone was looking for him, afraid he might have left Downton, and Mrs. Hughes. Mrs. Patmore and Daisy were looking for him in the attic, but found nothing, so they decided to tell Mrs. Hughes. They both knew that her heart would break, but it was the right thing to do.
Mrs. Patmore knocked lightly on the door and opened it. She was lying in bed, with her arms around Mr. Carson's body and her head on his chest. He was holding her, with one hand on her back and the other one on her waist. They both were sleeping.
-I thin' we found 'hem, Daisy.
-What do we tell her Ladyship?
-What we saw.
Daisy quickly run downstairs, and found everyone in the library. Everyone turned to look at her.
-Mrs. Patmore and I found him.
-Where? - Anna couldn't believe it. –Where on earth he could have been?
-In Mrs. Hughes room.
-What were they doing?
-They were sleeping m'lady. Holding each other.
-Didn't I tell you Robert that they would make up?- Her Ladyship had moved to his Lordship's side, and had kissed him on the cheek.
-Should we wake them up m'lady?
- No Daisy. Let them sleep.
Daisy nodded and went to find Mrs. Patmore, who was standing on the staircase.
-Well?
-Her Ladyship told me that we should let them sleep.
-Then we ought to go back to our kitchen, don't you think?
She nodded, relieved in a way to know that he was with her.
Mrs. Hughes heard the door close and open her eyes to see Charles sleeping soundly.
-Charles- Her voice was a whisper, but he reacted to her words.
-Hmmmmm…
-Shouldn't you go back?
-The doctor said that he wanted someone with you all the time, and that's what I'm doing.
-I appreciate it but…
-No buts.- Charles opened his eyes, and looked at her blue deep oceans they called eyes.- Elsie, don't say anything right now, ok? Just listen.
I'm sorry I said those things about your father. I shouldn't have. It's been a really hard time, and finding out that you were pregnant and it wasn't mine… I was angry, but not with you, but with myself, because I didn't protect you, and now I'm paying for it.
I really wished I could have been there. I love you and I know that you will get tired of hearing it, but I won't get tired of telling you.
-I should apologize too.
-No, you shouldn't.
-Why?
-Because is not your fault.
She smiled at him and kissed him lightly on the lips.
-Oh, by the way, her Ladyship told me that we are getting married next week.
-Next week!? That's too soon. I won't have time to find a dress and with the bruises and the bandages I won't look as a bride.
-You will, even when you are wearing that horrible yellow dress you look like a bride to me.
-I knew you didn't like it. With that look on your face and the way you try to trick me into buying other dresses I could've guessed it with my eyes closed.
-Her Ladyship will take care of everything.
-Charles, I've had an idea. Let's get married today, in the privacy of my room.
-You don't want a big wedding?
-Maybe after the baby is born.
-If that's what you want is alright with me.
They stayed in silence, just feeling the heat from each other.
-Are you sad because is not yours?
-In a way. It's complicated. I don't think I should be angry with the poor baby, it's not its fault, and I shouldn't be angry with you either. I wish Mr. Green would go to jail and get hanged.
-Charles! I've never heard you say something like that!
-It's the truth, or not?
-To be honest I want it to happen. Not just for me but for Anna too.
-Everything will be alright.
-Yes, and it's almost lunchtime and you haven't chosen his Lordships wine.
-True! I'll be back. Wait here.
-Do you think I'm going to move?
-it's an expression.
-I'm sure. Now go before they start looking for you again.
He kissed her lips and left the room. Elsie looked from the door to the window, and then to her tummy, where she placed both her hands.
-Hello little one. I'm your mother and I love you. Your daddy is the butler I'm going to get married with. Well, actually he is not, your daddy is a bad man, that attacked me, but the men you should call your father is the butler I told you before. He's a nice man, and I love him very much. He will take care of us. I know he will.