Disclaimer: I do not own Castle. Nor am I affiliated in anyway.
Author's Note: Part two to this little three parter. Hope you enjoy. :)
It's another Saturday ice cream date with Alexis that has Beckett realizing she's come to rely on these little outings. They make her feel whole again, like she's part of something beautiful because there's a little girl chattering animatedly at her side with ice cream on her face. And Alexis doesn't even have to ask anymore. Beckett tends to just invite herself along now. A month of Saturday's have passed since Alexis asked her to join them and it became an every week thing. She hasn't missed once but last time she did cut out early because she had a late shift.
She's somehow integrated into their lives and she's worried. The little redhead is obviously attaching herself and Kate doesn't want to hurt her feelings. But what happens when their soccer season ends?
"Daddy thinks you being a cop is cool. It's allllll he talks about." Alexis says it as if it's general conversation and not something that has Kate's heart thudding just a little faster.
"Oh really?" She takes a bite of her ice cream, raising an eyebrow at the man sitting across from her.
He almost looks a little embarrassed. It's a nice change. He's usually the king of charm and jokes. He keeps them laughing and the softness in his eyes when he speaks to his daughter is something she misses terribly from her own father. But now Richard Castle looks a little uncomfortable as Alexis rambles about him telling "grams" all about Officer Beckett.
With one last look, she watches him eye his daughter with that ridiculous cut-it-out face. But she doesn't.
"He goes on for hours -"
"Hey now, I am not the only one, little miss."
Hours? She's not sure she's comfortable with where this conversation is headed. So she's the one that cuts in and changes the subject. She wraps an arm around Alexis and squeezes her shoulder.
"You did great today. You've easily become one of the best. I can tell you practice a lot."
"Daddy helps! But he broke our lamp. Twice." She holds up two fingers, her eyes rolling as she says it and Beckett isn't even surprised anymore.
"The second time wasn't even my fault!" He defends but Alexis seems unimpressed, shrugging a shoulder as she takes the last bite of her ice cream.
"I told you not to kick the ball so hard."
That's when Kate can't hold back the snicker. Because she knows just from a couple months that he never listens. How many times has she told him to stay off her field and stop hassling her? But now she sees another side to his playfulness, the interaction with his daughter. It isn't forced. It's just their relationship. She judged him too quickly. Because there's no way this man parades women in front of Alexis.
And that's dangerous. For her. She's starting to more than like him and something warm curls inside her when Alexis says she's going to wash her hands. Usually Kate follows, hasn't ever felt completely comfortable without his daughter at her side as a buffer. Today, she doesn't move. Both of them watch to make sure she makes it to the bathroom just fine though and something tugs in her chest when Alexis smiles back at her. But she returns her attention to the melted ice cream in her plastic bowl. Frowning at it because she didn't eat it quickly enough and now it's just...goop.
It's awkward for a beat. A second of thick silence that makes her ears burn and her brain race for something to say. He's staring at her, she can feel it. And she's never been a coward, not when it comes to this. So she lifts her head, meets his gaze.
"She's a good kid, Castle."
"Castle?" She ignores his surprise, barely even shrugs a shoulder. It fits him better. She can distance herself with it.
At least that was her plan when she started thinking of him by his last name. It just hasn't really worked. Backfired because now it's almost soft on her tongue. He's grown on her and that's dangerous. So is the fact that she loves his daughter.
But this isn't healthy. She can't just throw herself into their lives and Alexis is already depending on her, opening up, trusting her. That makes it worse. She thinks the girl has a little bit of hero worship and now as she looks into his blue eyes, she thinks they both do. She's no hero.
She's just a broken woman.
"I want to thank you. For doing this with Alexis." Oh god and now he's gonna make it worse.
"Look -"
"No. I mean it. I know this isn't healthy for her, I know you have a life and I know I need to talk to her about how she's developed such an attachment but -"
"It's honestly not a big deal." It is. She's lying. "I enjoy spending time with her. She's a very bright and loving little girl."
She can see him swell with pride. It's in his shoulders, on his features as he beams and glances over toward the bathrooms.
"But...soccer is seasonal."
"I know, and so does she."
"I'm not saying I wouldn't be willing to still meet up for ice cream." What is she saying? She doesn't even know what she's trying to do but something lights in his gaze and heat curls in her stomach.
Oh no. No, no, no. She knows better, she knows and yet her mouth has other ideas.
"Maybe lunch sometimes."
"You would do that for her?" His tone is a mix of disbelief and wonder and it irks her just a little.
"Of course I would. I wouldn't just say see-ya after spending so much time with her -"
"I wasn't implying that. I really wasn't. This is just new."
Her heart twists for them both.
"New can be good." She can't believe she just said that. A flush of embarrassment floods her cheeks when his lips twitch. Why is she even looking at his mouth? She knows why. She likes him. And it's not going away. She makes a decision quickly. A rash one that may completely blow up in her face. "Uh...maybe dinner would be okay too."
"I'd have to talk to the boss, she doesn't like taking me out much. Claims I'm embarrassing." He's joking, she knows but he missed her hidden message.
"Actually, I uh, meant just us." The goopy mess in her bowl becomes interesting again. And his silence stretches for several seconds, makes her question how long Alexis needs to wash her hands.
He's staring but it's different now. She can feel the intensity. The spark.
"Kate Beckett, did you just ask me on a date?"
And just like that, she's back to scoffing at him. But it worked, he broke the ice and she's smiling, less nervous.
"That depends on how it goes." She's back in the game. Leaning forward, resting her arms on the table as she smirks at him.
He's about to say something, mouth already opening when Alexis slides back in next to her. The moment put on pause as his daughter re-enters the conversation.
"There was the longest line in the bathroom. I thought I'd have sticky hands forever." There's a flare of drama and exasperation that makes Beckett long for this.
This is a family. This is what she doesn't have. Alexis isn't the only one attaching herself. She's not the only one with abandonment issues. This whole arrangement could end very badly. And it'll be Alexis who pays the price. But then she's giggling, her face alive with happiness and Kate knows she's been doomed from the moment they walked onto her practice field.
It's just solidified when they step outside together and Alexis slips her hand into Kate's. This is usually when they go separate ways but she walks with them a little ways. Because she doesn't want to break away just yet and because he keeps looking at her like she's beautiful. Despite her NYPD shirt and yoga pants, it's as if he doesn't even remember how sweaty she was an hour ago.
"You can come if you want." She barely hears it, she hasn't heard anything Alexis has said.
"Sorry, what? I was daydreaming." She won't tell a child she just wasn't paying attention.
"I'm in a play at school. It's Tuesday."
"Oh, sweetie, I don't know if I can."
"That's okay. You must be really busy." She is. Most of the time. But she stops walking, tugs on Alexis' hand until she stops too. She crouches down in front of her and makes sure she has her full attention.
"I am. I'm very busy a lot of the time but if I can manage, I'll come. I'm not promising to be there because I honestly don't know if I can make it. But I can try. Okay?"
"Okay." Even with the smile that spreads on Alexis' face, Kate is still a little stunned when the tiny redhead wraps her arms around her.
The hug is sweet, reciprocated despite being stared at by Castle. She gives her an extra squeeze before she untangles and stands back up.
"I should go."
"We could walk you home." He blurts it out as if he just wants a few more minutes and she almost accepts.
She has to bite her lip to keep the smile from splitting. She shakes her head, pushes a wayward lock of her hair back. Oh god, she probably looks like a mess. The short ends curl when wet and dry in all different directions. Usually she doesn't care. She doesn't really put much effort into her appearance, she's just trying to make it in a male dominated profession so it's best not to draw attention to your looks.
But he makes her feel like putting in the effort.
"I actually have something I need to do before heading home." It's not a lie. She's planning to check up on her dad.
"Oh, alright. Well I guess we'll see you Saturday."
"Maybe Tuesday, if I can make it." She corrects him and tosses a wink at Alexis.
"About that...other thing?"
"Do you have a pen?" For a second he seems confused by her question but then he catches up. Nodding enthusiastically and reaching in the pocket of his jeans. "You always carry a pen in your pocket?"
"Writer thing. Always carry something to write with."
She chooses not to say anything more about it. There are jokes in there somewhere but she won't drag them out. Instead she takes the pen he offers and grabs hold of his hand too.
"I have pa- okay this works too." Of course he probably carries a little notebook or something but she grabbed him before she thought it through.
His skin is warm, hot against her own and it takes a moment before she remembers what she was doing. And then she finishes quickly, writing out her phone number and nothing else. No cute note, not even her name. Just the digits because she's cradling his hand in her own and it feels entirely too intimate.
She drops her hand from his, gives the pen back and gives him a small smile.
"Don't let this go to your head, okay? And Alexis can use it too, no hogging." It's a tease, a way for her to gain back some of the control. Though she's almost positive he was just as stunned by the touch.
"And we'll talk about -"
"If you call, yeah. Or text, that's my cell." The look on his face tells her everything. He's going to call as soon as possible.
Those first few weeks he asked for her phone number, asked her to dinner and she'd blown it off. Because it seemed like a joke but this doesn't.
This doesn't seem like a potential fling at all. And oddly enough that scares her.
"Okay, I really do need to go. I'll see you both soon." She accepts another hug from Alexis, kind of expected it.
She doesn't expect the one that comes from him. She's in his arms before she can move away. A warm quick embrace that could easily be between two friends but it isn't. Her asking him to dinner proved that. She doesn't have time to return it, to hug him back because he's pulling away as if he's just as shocked as she is. Mumbling an apology that has her smiling, telling him it's okay.
She squeezes his arm and then she walks away. She needs time to think through some things. She asked Richard Castle on a date.