Regarding Lexa's arc in Season 3, I had a feeling that they wanted to do something else with her arc that season regarding the fact that they intended for Alycia to be a regular before she was contracted by AMC for Fear the Walking Dead. They might have intended to expand on the Lostia story, since Lexa losing Costia had a major effect on Lexa and her relationship with Clarke and I have a nagging feeling that it somehow wasn't over. But that was just my speculation as I am not a part of the show's writing team.

Trigger warning for rape at the end of the chapter. Anyone who has experienced sexual violence or any type of sexual assault, the National Sexual Assault Hotline is always open.

Lexa takes one step forward. She shakes her head. Like she doesn't believe what she is seeing.

Like this is some dream she is in.

I literally pinch myself. Anytime now, I'm going to wake up and find myself in bed. That this was just some dream. However, everything that has happened in the past few hours are too vivid to be a dream.

"It's true then," she murmurs. "You're alive."

The second time I hear her speak, it makes me realize that this is not a dream. Lexa is alive. Alive and breathing. Without restraint, I barrel towards her and throw my arms around her. The warmth of her body and the beating of her heart is evidence enough that she is alive.

My tears from my eyes are streaming from my eyes and I shake with sobs as I cry into her shoulder. I could feel her fingers run through my hair.

"Lexa," I sniff. "I thought…I thought that I would never see you again."

I withdraw my face from her shoulder to take a glimpse of her. Her emerald eyes are glassy and tears are running down her cheeks. "I…I," she begins, gasping. "Nia sent me your head! You were dead!"

How are you not dead, I want to ask, though that would be best explained another day and another time. Like the answer to her question due to certain circumstances.

"It's a long story," I answer. "Due to the circumstances we're in, now is most likely not the time." Turning to Anya, I tell her, "You knew that it was me back there."

"I didn't want to believe it when I saw you, as two people could look exactly the same," she answers, stepping forward, "yet that didn't abate my suspicions. When you spoke, it only sealed my suspicions."

It took my voice to confirm my identity. It's been five years, though my voice didn't change much as others around me observed.

She comes forward and enfolds me in her arms. Every fiber of my body freezes, not sure what to make of the gesture. Though I return the gesture, hesitantly.

"I'd never thought that I would see you again, Costia," she breathes as she pats my back, though her voice breaks slightly.

When I withdraw from her, I see that her eyes are just as glassy as Lexa's were. She brushes her cheek to dry her cheeks.

"Hate to be a downer for this reunion but I think there is something urgent that I can tell you wish to discuss," says Murphy.

It's like a sense of urgency fills the room, though Clarke is the first one to speak. "About Ontari, we need to talk about her," Clarke asserts. "She was not trained here. Why would you allow her into the Conclave?"

"Ontari has the blood of the Commanders," Titus answers. Causing me to direct my eyes to him. I didn't realize that he was here. "It is her birthright to compete for the Flame."

"Birthright is one thing but just because it's her birthright, that doesn't make her qualify for the Flame," Anya points out, glaring at Titus. "To be a good Commander, one has to have all three pillars and from what I have seen so far, she only holds one. Thanks to the law regarding unregistered Natblidas, you are putting Trikru and the other eleven clans at risk by giving her a spot in the Conclave. As I said, Ontari's odds of winning the Conclave are high and knowing Azkru, we might not have a official Conclave."

"The Flame will choose Aden," Lexa trembles. "I wouldn't say that if I wasn't sure, Anya."

I wanted to point out that Ontari is also under watch by Echo and Yaxley as per my orders but a nasty voice in the back of my head whispers that Ontari would figure out how to pull something regardless. I wouldn't be surprised since I have known her for five years. Yet I would be surprised if Echo neglected to follow up on her order due to her unwavering loyalty to me despite my Trikru roots.

"A novitiate from the Plain Riders is no match against someone from Azgeda," Anya grimly points out to Lexa. "If we know one thing, Azkru are known for their ruthlessness and brutality in battle. It will give her a combat advantage in the arena."

"Anya is right," I agree. "Ruthless would be an understatement to describe her, to be honest."

"If she does get that Flame, we shouldn't have to worry, right?" Murphy asks. He turns to Lexa. "I mean, you are basically still in there. It might not matter."

"It matters," Titus disagrees. "Before Lexa, I have served four Commanders as Flamekeeper. None half as wise or strong as her."

"The Flame only enhances what's within," Lexa confirms. "If Anya is right and if Ontari is chosen by the Flame, Ice Nation will hold most of the power of the Coalition and Skaikru will be wiped out."

Outside, we hear the sound of a horn being blown. A shiver creeps down my spine. The last time I heard that tempo was when Lexa won the final round on her Conclave. The Conclave doesn't officially start until tomorrow morning after sunrise. A horrible feeling sets in my stomach.

"What is that?" Murphy asks.

"The victory horn," Titus answers before running out of the room, with Clarke and Murphy right behind him. I pause before following them.

Behind me, I hear Anya holding Lexa back before the former joins us.

Going back into the tower, there is a higher concentration of people outside and in the throne room by the looks of it. I wade through the shouting crowds and find myself standing next to Roan. Who has pulled Clarke towards him.

Anya glares at Roan but instead of pulling her away from him, she stands in front of Clarke so she wouldn't be seen.

"What is going on?" Clarke asks.

Roan puts his fingers to his lips, shushing her. Not tearing his eyes from the dais.

Ontari is sitting on the throne, with a unsheathed sword on her lap. It's nighttime and the room is dark but the darkness doesn't hide the fact that her face is covered with black blood. There were only thirteen people in Polis with Nightblood at the time.

Ontari, Lexa, and I are out of the equation, which only leaves the novitiates.

"What is the meaning of this?" Titus demands as he stands before her.

Ontari doesn't give a verbal answer. She simply bends over and sticks her hand in a leather bag. When she holds it out, I see that it's the head of that boy I saw with Clarke earlier.

It's like this morning's meal is threatening to come back up as I feel the blood drain from my face. I stand back and cover my mouth; trying to hold back vomit. Unsurprisingly, Roan isn't the least fazed. Though Anya is covering her mouth and shaking her head. Like she is tempted to vomit from the gruesome sight as well.

Clarke's eyes widen and she gasps, "Aden."

"If she sees you, she'll have your head too," Roan warns.

"It is not safe for you here," Anya whispers to Clarke. "You and your companion should leave soon."

"She is right," Murphy points out. "We need to get out of here."

Ontari kicks the bag away from her and discards the head like it's nothing but rubbish. Therefore making the nausea even worse. She straightens on the throne and with cold hearted indifference, she declares, "I win."

It's not long before I feel the blood reach my surface, coupled with the nausea. I spot Echo a few yards to my right and I march towards her, the blood pumping in my veins.

Her face pales and she stammers, "Eirwen, I didn't mean to – I -

"Good thing we are friends, Echo," I spit out quietly, "for I would have had your head for your negligence. This isn't the honorable way to win a Conclave."

Anya vanished few minutes later. Probably to go to the temple to inform Lexa about Ontari's dishonorable victory or to alert Trikru about what happened. Most likely both. Why was Ontari's victory dishonorable? Because she didn't compete when her opponents were ready to fight.

Then again I shouldn't have put it past Ontari to kill the Nightbloods when they were sleeping. She took the coward's ticket.

In the darkness, I weave through the buildings. Lexa will no doubt leave Polis shortly as there will be nothing for her here. People think she's dead, so it will make sense if she vanishes from Polis altogether. I don't want her to leave without me.

I want to feel the warmth of her body again. Be near her again. Make up for the last five years that we both lost simply because of Nia's dirty politics.

Looking around the alleyways and making sure that no one was present, I sprint to the door of the Temple and quietly turn the handle to open it. I scurry down the steps without a second thought and open the door.

"…honoring tradition, Titus," Lexa snaps as I enter. "If Ontari hasn't won the Conclave honorably, she doesn't have the right to host the Flame."

Lexa, wearing one of the past clothes of one of the past Commander's, takes her hand out of a overcoat. Suggesting that she placed something in a inside pocket. Her eyes turn to mine as does Titus.

"What are you doing here?" Titus demands, glaring at me. "Shouldn't you be leaving for Ice Nation with your husband to deliver the news of the new Commander?"

Though there is no malice in his words, they still sting. They suggest that I'm Azgeda through and through when that is not true. Yes, they might have influenced me in my methods but I'm still and will always be Trikru.

"They will hear from those that she is the Commander," I bite back, stepping forward. "Also, I'm not of Ice Nation, Titus. I am of the Woods Clan."

"It doesn't erase the fact that you spent time with them for five years," Titus persists. "You might not be Ice Nation-born but you are one of them regardless."

I felt myself stand back, like those words slapped me in the face. I channel every ounce of resentment in one glare.

"Bite your tongue, Titus," Lexa scolds as she passes him and walks towards him. "I want to see her before I leave."

"Yes but take me too," I plead.

"What about Roan?" Lexa asks, raising her eyebrow. "Does he know that you are leaving?"

Roan. I regret not stopping and telling him my plan. That I'm going to leave for some time. That I plan on visiting Ice Nation soon to see our daughter. I could have but with this new turn of events, I deemed it dangerous, as someone could have heard us.

"He will understand," I answer. "It was him that wanted me to depart home after his mother's death."

"But you didn't," Lexa notes. Looking at her, there is no jealousy. It's like she knows the answer I will provide and that she's waiting for me to answer just so I could confirm it.

"Yes, though it was because I was afraid what the others will view me as after all that has happened," I share. "For all I know, they will see me as tainted. Like Titus, they will see me as Ice Nation."

She shakes her head as she steps closer before pressing her lips to my scarred forehead. My breath quickens and my pulse accelerates from the feeling of her lips.

"You have me," she assures. "Anya didn't reject you either."

"Just because two people still care for me, that doesn't mean that the others will," I point out. Father hated Azgeda with a burning passion after what happened with my eldest sister a year before my capture, last time I knew. If he sees me, I'll be dead to him. He'll just see me as another Azkru. Indra would be just as unforgiving and she'll see the warrior that killed her husband just by seeing me, even though I wasn't the one that gave him the sword swipe that ended his life.

I don't know about Lincoln, though. He wouldn't be as vehement but he wouldn't want to associate himself with someone from Azgeda, especially since he lost his sister on the battlefield.

The door opens behind us and we turn to see that it's just Clarke. Who looks down sheepishly like she thought she walked in on something private.

"Clarke, why are you still here?" Lexa demands, the fear and uncertainty in her voice. "For all we know, someone could be heading to Azgeda with the message of the new Commander. You should flee before members of Azkru arrive."

Clarke nods, and says, "Yes, but not without the Flame. Tell me, Lexa. You wouldn't choose someone like Ontari to lead. I know you wouldn't."

Lexa opens her mouth to speak before Titus clears his throat. "You would," he states, looking towards Lexa. "Ontari is the last Natblida that was slated to compete for the Flame."

Lexa turns to Titus, her face flushing red. "She hacked Aden's and the other novitiates' heads off before the horn signifying the start of the Conclave blew, making it dishonorable!" she bellows. "There are plenty of Nightbloods around that would be more worthy to take the Flame then Ontari!"

"They were chosen to only produce more down their family trees," Titus stresses. "Therefore making them unworthy."

Clarke turns toward them like a lightbulb lit up. "Lexa, you said there were eight other novitiates in your Conclave," Clarke points out. "I thought it was Costia when she mentioned she had Nightblood but she said it wasn't her. Is that Nightblood still alive?"

Lexa slowly turns her head and I thought I see her swallow hard. "Yes. She refused to kill me during the second round," she answers, sniffing at the last part of the sentence. "Titus wanted her hunted down but I ordered him not to. She spared my life and I decided to spare hers in return. Perhaps I might –"

"She's a traitor to the blood, Lexa," Titus reprimands. "She's unworthy of the Flame. I thought you would know better than to see her as a candidate for the Flame."

"More unworthy then Ontari?" Clarke demands. "That Nightblood might have fled the Conclave for refusing to kill Lexa, it only proves that she is more honorable then Ontari. I am sure that even Costia might also be more worthy herself."

"I was not assigned to fight for the Flame," I point out. "I was assigned to pass it down the family tree. I might have the blood of the Commanders but I am not worthy to have the Flame indwelt in me."

Outside, there are shouts and I thought I hear Ontari shout, "Out of my way!"

Someone clatters down the steps and through the open door we see that it's Murphy. "She's here," he grunts.

"Hide," Titus urgently instructs Lexa and Clarke. Lexa takes Clarke's hand and leads her to a alcove. Hidden from view. Wanting to abate suspicion to buy me time, I take my knife from my sheath and press the blade against Titus's throat. Shoving him against the pod.

"What are you doing?" he asks as I hear her footsteps descend the steps.

"Trust me," I say through gritted teeth.

Footsteps enter the room and Ontari asks, "What is this, Eirwen?"

I remove the knife from his throat and face her. "Just trying to coax him to produce the Flame, Commander," I lie. Ontari is not Commander and she would be illegitimate. Still, she would expect me to refer her to that even before she ascended.

"I was going to take care of that myself, Eirwen," she dictates. "I admire the help but there was no need for such." She directs her gaze to Titus. "As to you: how dare you bring Skaikru into the Order of the Flame?"

"It's what Lexa wanted," Titus answers.

"Well, Lexa's not Heda anymore," Ontari observed. Chuckling softly and smirking, she continues, "Thanks to you. Let's get this over with."

Ontari has no clue of how the ascension process works due to Nia's carelessness. Though I myself didn't educate her due to the fact that I didn't simply trust her with the knowledge.

Titus hesitates before he says, "You must be cleansed before you ascend." He looks to Murphy. "Take her to the Commander's chambers. Perform the ritual."

Titus is not lying. After one wins the Conclave, they are cleansed off the blood of their fallen fellow novitiates. That way they can have a clean ascension.

Murphy rolls his eyes. "You're sure I'm ready for that?" he retorts.

Ontari pulls out her sword and places it close to his neck. "Stop talking, worm!" she reprimands. She turns to me, like she's waiting for me to follow.

"I will see you shortly," I lie, knowing I have no intention of doing so. For good measure, I smirk and chuckle, "and I doubt that Roan would like it if I saw you naked."

Ontari rolls her eyes before turning her back. Sliding her sword in her sheath as she follows Murphy out of the room.

Lexa and Clarke leave from their hiding place as soon as the door closes.

"Thank you," Clarke says.

He nods. "Even Luna would be better than her," he admits.

Recognition flashes in Clarke's eyes. Like she knows her. I don't know why she would, since Skaikru first landed in my stomping grounds. Before it occurs to me that she probably knows Lincoln, who would have told her. "Did you just say Luna?" Clarke asks.

Titus turns to her. "Yes," he answers. "You heard the name before?"

"From my friend, Lincoln," she explains. So, that's why.

Lexa's green eyes widen, like she suddenly remembers something. "Lincoln is in Arkadia," she passes on before turning to Clarke. "We go to Arkadia, find Lincoln, and see if we can seek his help. I would assume that your people would have handed over Pike by the time we arrive. It will be safe, then. Luna will not allow Titus near her."

Clarke nods. "Yes, we will go to him," she says. "Though we need the Flame."

Lexa reaches into her jacket and pulls out the container. She opens it, revealing the Flame. "I planned to do the same before you got here," Lexa reveals. "Had she won in normal circumstances, I would have given it to her but since she killed Aden and his fellow novitiates in their sleep, I thought that she wasn't deserving of it."

"Good call," Clarke acknowledges.

"You two need this as well," Titus points out, holding the Commander's Journal. "If you see Luna, it contains the ancient ritual to perform the ascension."

Titus takes Clarke to the wardrobe containing the armor of past Commander's. Saying, "Pick something. The tunnel leads to the stables. They are expecting you and Lexa."

"I am sure that they wouldn't mind a third person," I suggest.

Titus turns to me, like I lost my mind. "You are Queen of Ice Nation," he persists. "If Ontari finds out you are missing, she will send soldiers after you. You will be a fugitive."

"Most likely, she would think I was kidnapped by Wanheda and will send Roan to retrieve the two of us, since he was able to find Clarke before. A king has to be responsible for his queen and vice versa," I point out. "Besides, it's not like he'll hold it against me. As I said, he'll understand why, though he wouldn't know the real reason."

Five Years Ago

My eyes flutter open and the first thing I see what looks like curved metal rods touching fabric. Something is binding my wrists together and when I move my hands, the rope burns my skin.

When my eyes adjust, I see that I'm kept in a wagon and the wind is blowing the cold air in. I begin to shiver. Outside through the cracks, I observe that it's dark outside with the faint orange hue of a nearby fire. It was close to noon when I encountered the Azgeda warriors. It must be night now.

How long have I been knocked out?

I register voices in a conversation outside and thought I make out the words "Gara by noontide if we leave early tomorrow morning." The heart pounds in my chest as I register its meaning. If they think they will make it to the Ice Nation capital by noon tomorrow, it could only mean one thing: they have taken me across the border and we're well into Ice Nation.

I curl myself into a ball and feeling helpless, I let the tears flow. It's way past the time I should have traveled home from my hunting trip. By now, father has launched search parties looking for me while Lexa would aid in the effort.

I don't want to imagine their reaction when they find my quiver of arrows and bow on the ground.

Outside, snow crunches under boots and when the footsteps get closer to the wagon, I sit up abruptly. The heart pounding in my chest. The flap is lifted open and that first Azgeda warrior enters the wagon.

His lips curve into a sickening smirk. "You awoke," he says. "How convenient."

The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and it's like my skin is crawling. The nasty voice in the back of my head whispers that he has something worse than murder on his mind.

He advances to me and I shift away from him. Unfortunately, he grabs me by my braids and throws me on the wooden floor of the wagon. My head throbs and when I hear him unhook his belt, my eyes widen.

No, no, no, no!

"No, please," I beg, feeling the tears running down my cheeks. "Please, no."

I hear him pull down his pants. "Begging is only going to make me harder," he sneers.

It's like the nausea settles in my stomach at those words. The idea that he likes to hear women beg before he…I don't want to think about that. I don't want to dwell on that possibility.

I feel his knees on my legs and he unhooks my belt.

"Don't do this, please!" I sob. "Please! Kill me instead! Just kill me!"

He chuckles darkly as he pulls down my pants with my underwear. "If I do that, my queen will have me killed," he mocks.

He forces my legs apart and when he forces himself in, the pain sears through my body and I scream. The tears running down my face.

The wagon travels further into Azgeda territory, jolting every now and then from the trail. I don't know how much time has passed since my captors packed up and continued on but it's like time slowed to a crawl.

Yet, time feels meaningless.

When the wagon stops, I gaze at the flaps with my pulse raising as I hear footsteps. There are other voices suggesting that we're not alone yet that doesn't stop my muscles from tensing up.

The flap opens and it's the second Azgeda warrior. When she drags me up, I don't fight. It's like the will to land a kick has been taken away from me. Like I lost all will to fight.

Was it that monster's intention when he violated me last night?

I'm dragged outside and frigid cold air bites my face as my feet hit the snow. I look at the ground as they push me forward. As they push me up cracked concrete steps and push me through a set of doors.

They take me through what looks like a foyer and through a second set of double doors.

"We have a valuable find, my queen," the second captor says, the giddiness apparent in her voice. "The Commander's lover."

I jolt, like my mind has entered my body once more.

I look up to see the Queen stand up from a large, intricately carved chair. She cocks her head at me as she descends the platform that holds her throne. At a table three yards away from me sits four people, two of them teenage girls, with the third person being a boy in his late teens. Accompanied by an elder brother in his early twenties. All appear apathetic.

My gaze is torn from them as a cold hand grabs my face and is turned forward. The queen studies my face before sizing me up. A smirk of satisfaction curls her lips as she withdraws her hand. "From Ambassador Ivan's descriptions, this has to be the Commander's lover," she says. "Take her downstairs and tomorrow we'll start seeing how much she will reveal to us."

As hands drag me away from the throne room, a sack is forced over my head.