I walk into the great room and pick up the cordless phone.

"Hello?"

"Christian, how are things going for you both?" My Mother asks sympathetically. I sigh as I run my free hand through my hair.

"We just got home. It took a lot longer today because her weight had dropped enough from last time that they had to re-mix everything with smaller doses."

Initially, my Mom says nothing in response, and then speaks.

"Christian, I heard about what happened at the clinic today, and I had warned you that no good would come of you saying anything."

I sit heavily on the arm of the couch as tears threaten again.

"I know, Mom. But, I had to try! Surely seven doses of the stuff was enough! She's lost so much weight and is so weak, I'm so afraid this last course will prove to be too much for her small body and that I'm…"

I choke on a sob as tears spill onto my face.

"Listen, Christian. I'm leaving the hospital and want to stop by. Is that OK?" I take a deep breath, trying to pull myself together.

"What about Dad? Won't he expect you for dinner with the children?"

"You've obviously forgotten that Elliot was taking Ava over today. The weather is too bad for his crew to be out, so he had the entire day free. He and Ava will be staying until after they eat. Your father and the children will be fine."

"Ok. Yes. Please come."

"I'll see you in a little bit. Hopefully the traffic has died down by now."

"Do you want Sawyer to come pick you up? Since Taylor is here with us, I was planning to send him back to the big house anyway. He can take you once you leave here."

"No, that's not necessary, dear. I'll be fine. See you shortly." She hangs up just as Mai Lu walks up to me.

"Mr. Grey? Ana wants you, Sir."

I get up and stride back into the bedroom to find Ana sitting up in the bed looking at me.

"You are a fine sight, Mr. Grey." She sweetly murmurs. I can't help but smile. She almost sounds like her old self.

"Why, thank you Mrs. Grey. What can I do for you?"

"I need to pee." She still blushes, which is so sweet. My heart melts. I chuckle.

"Ok."

I lean down as Ana wraps her arms around my neck, I gather her into my arms. She's so light, almost like a tiny bird. I nuzzle her neck as I carry her into the bathroom, Mai Lu trailing behind carrying the bag with the fluids and pump in it. I set her on her feet, then pull the back of her gown up, and gently lift her on to the seat, all the time she is keeping her arms wrapped around me. We figured out months ago that panties where wasted energy to deal with on days like today.

She rests her head on my shoulder as I rub her back and kiss her. I long ago, out of necessity, won the battle for privacy with her. She is too weak to walk any distance and she finally had to accept my presence when she goes. My motive was two-fold, to insure she not fall, and that she is making adequate urine.

After her 3rd course when she was hospitalized with acute kidney failure due to dehydration, I have insisted on someone being present to insure she is making adequate urine after she gets the chemo. She hates it, especially if it is someone other than me, but I don't give a shit. She almost died because she was too sick and no one was paying attention that she wasn't making urine, and I'm not letting that happen again.

I take some paper and hand it to her. She sits up and finishes while I reach back and flush.

"Ok, Mrs. Grey. Better?" She nuzzles my neck, kissing me as she nods.

"While you're up, do you want to wash your face and brush your teeth?"

"Yes, please." She murmurs.

I stand up with her in my arms, grabbing the bag with my free hand and carry her to the chair in front of her sink. It's tall enough for her to reach the sink, which allows her to use it without needing to stand, but I keep one arm around her waist to steady her anyway. Turning the water on, she takes the toothbrush and applies the special paste she needs to prevent sores, and brushes. I look for any signs of blood when she spits it out, relieved to see none. She finishes washing her face and applies some moisturizer. I took into her eyes.

"You are so beautiful, Mrs. Grey. Do you have any idea how much I love you?" She smiles and kisses me.

"Thank you, Mr. Grey. And, yes, I know you love me, because they say love is blind and for you to think this skinny, bald female is attractive means you got it bad! But, I'm grateful because I can't imagine how I could have possibly gotten through these last few months without you."

Tears threaten me again, but I quickly pull her into my arms to hide them.

"Well, you know I couldn't be anywhere else except with you. You are my life, Ana."

I choke. She hugs me harder, running her hand on my back, as she kisses my neck.

"It's Ok, Christian. It's going to get better from now on. I promise."

I nod into her neck, knowing it's a lie, but not wishing another argument that will upset her. She still has to survive the effects of this last course of chemo in the next 7-10 days. Even though Dr. Sellers told me he reduced the dosage significantly, I know what has happened before and dread having to watch Ana suffer through it again.

I pick her up and carry her back to the bed, reluctantly letting her go as she lies back down.

"Can I get you to eat or drink a little something?" I ask.

"Not right now. In a little while, I promise." She strokes the stubble on my cheek that I love so much.

I nod, knowing she'll have to be pushed to take something, but I'll wait. Sometimes Mai Lu has better luck than I do, and I can trust her to coax some calories into Ana. So, I leave it.