Chapter One: Bethany
"Time to get up!" Ryan shouted from the living room. Yay. Another day of hell. Sometimes I wondered why I didn't just commit suicide. Just one stab and this horrible life would be over. No more pain. I wondered what it was like up there. In heaven. God. I was such a daydreamer. I couldn't do that. Ryan wouldn't be able to live with that.
I yawned, stretching out my stiff limbs which were painfully sore. I pushed myself up so I was propped up on the pillows. "Coming" I mumbled, not really caring if he couldn't hear me. Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed I contemplated hiding so I could escape what was going to come at me like at tidal wave to drown me today. No. I had to stay strong. Life was life.
I swapped my red T-shirt I used as a pajama top for a black blouse. I also switched my white sweatpants for a black high knee skirt. I pulled my white jumper over my head and adjusted my white tie so it was tucked underneath. I put on my black blazer and left it undone. I pulled on my white ankle socks. I hated school uniform. It was itchy and uncomfortable. I felt uncomfortable enough walking down those halls. Luckily we had a choice of any black shoe. I looked at the white wall where my various black shoes were lined up. I reached over and grabbed my favorite. I laced up my comfortable black boots.
I sat down at my desk across the room. I grabbed a brush and worked through my tangles of long straight brown hair. It had different shades of brown in it. Some light some dark. When down it came down to my lower back.I then grabbed the front part and put it in a half up pony tail to keep it out of the way.. I grabbed my black thick rimmed glasses and put them over my diamond blue eyes. I got the wide glasses because the narrow rimmed ones just made me look geeky. I mean honestly. They made me look like a granny. They worked on some people not people like me.
Deciding I looked presentable I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror on the other side of the room by my bed. I stared at my image. I suddenly felt a pang of uncertainty. My confidence level dropped considerably. Like it did every morning when I looked in the mirror. I sat back down on the bed, putting my head in my hands. It didn't matter how hard I tried. I could never escape the inevitable. I was going to get bullied whether I liked it or not. And like a normal person I did not like it. I hated it. I only had one friend. Ryan knew but I made sure he did nothing about it. It would only just cause more commotion.
I stood up again. Breathe. Beth. Breathe. "Beth, hurry up!£ Ryan shouted. "Stop being so insecure. You'll be fine!" he added. I smiled at how encouraging he was. Ryan was my 19 year old brother. I lived with him in a flat in London. We left our parents when I was 5 and he was 9. I was now 15. For no reason at all mum had told us to run. Seeing the fear in her eyes we ran. Barely escaped. From what? I have no idea. Don't ask me. I call them the people in black. If it wasn't for Ryan I would be... Where would I be? Where would have those black people taken me? What did they want?
That was the worst day of my life. That's saying a lot because my life was pretty much a colorful graveyard. Where everyone was a monster. Ready to scare the hell out of me. Apart from a selected few who were angels. Ryan was one of those angels.
Black suited men came. Saying they were the ASC. Whatever that was. I watched as my best friend was carried away. His blue eyes were full of fear. His blonde hair spiked up perfectly. He watched me struggle He watched me with worry in his eyes. Aidan had been my next door neighbor. My best friend. Had been since we were tiny. I couldn't save him. I wondered where he was.
"Beth!" Ryan was getting impatient. Closing my eyes I walked into the hallway. I walked tentatively; as if one wrong step and something might blow up. I had no idea why was so nervous but that was just me. These are the words I and everyone used to describe me except a few selected angels. A Geeky. Emotional. Wreck. It was True. I was geeky. I was emotional. Most of all though. I was a wreck. It had now been abbreviated to 'AGEW' but it still hurt just as bad. Aidan wouldn't have let them hurt me. he would have stuck up for me. But he wasn't here. I had left that behind. My mind often drifted to my old life. How my parents were getting on. If they were even alive. How Aidan was getting on and where he was. If he was even alive.
I got nervous about everything. I can't think of one time I have been confident. I just wasn't that type of person. With the amount of nerves I had you would have thought I was going to war. And I was. Sort of. In a way. I had to battle through life. And what a horrible life it was.
"Finally" Ryan laughed, springing up off the red leather sofa. His feet slapped on the white tile. "Here's your breakfast" he handed me a granola bar. I gave him a smile in thanks. Knowing me my entire life he knew I didn't say much. I used to say a bit more. Be a bit more confident. Then Aidan left. I was now shaking with nerves. Same every morning. Ryan's deep brown eyes filled with worry for me as he ran his hand though his black spikes of hair. He walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. I snuggled into his chest. "You'll be fine Beth" he said whilst rubbing my back. He kissed my forehead before picking my red rucksack off the floor.
My sense of comfort washed away at the sight of the rucksack. I began to shake again. Yes. I was scared of a rucksack. Judge me. Oh I bet you are judging me. Everyone judged me apart form those few selected angels of course. I grabbed it by the handles and slung it over one shoulder. "let's go!" Ryan was so confident. It mad me jealous. Aidan had been confident. I wondered what happened to him... Get a grip Beth!You left that life behind. Remember?
Seeing my hesitation Ryan grabbed my hand. I looked up at him. He was really tall and I was really short. He towered above me. I hadn't done well in the height department. "Come on" he smiled at me, unlocking the door. He pushed me out before I could persuade him to let me stay at home. I had succeeded a few times.
He tugged my hand, pulling me towards the lift. We were on the 3rd floor. My best and only friend, Chloe, lived on the top (5th) floor. She was leaning against the lift waiting for us. "You going to catch the school bus with me?" she asked, tipping her long ginger curls over her shoulders. Her hazel eyes lit up the room. I nodded slowly. I didn't really have a choice. Plus otherwise I would be alone.
Ryan let go of my hand. "See ya later sis" he jogged back to our flat. "Come on Beth, we're gonna miss the bus" she pressed the down button. Please can we miss the bus, please can we miss the bus. Chloe laughed at my grim expression. "No, we can't miss the bus. We're going to school" she chuckled as the lift doors opened. Her goes nothing.