Albus Dumbledore was floored totaly and utterly floored. First a second phrophecy, then Jack Grim had the infromation they needed to decode it, not to mention the man said the still unkown dark lord's chosen name, and then someone very alive came flying through the Veil of Death a someone who turned out to be a young man who turned out to be Harry Potter and Jack wasn't Jack at all he was another verision of Sirius goodness what was going on here? Just as Dumbledore was about to speak up the back wall of the chamber exploded outward causing everyone exept for Dumbledore, Jack, and Harry to duck and cover while cursing obsinites while the others simply stepped into dueling stances. As the smoke cleared the Order gasped almost as one, while Jack cursed and Harry groaned there flanked on either side by death eaters was Voldemort.
"Thisss isss your lassst chance join me or die." He said. Harry just snorted and rolled his eyes before walking forward untill he was in front of the entire order and across from Voldemort. The order all looked at him in utter shock no one had ever mocked the dark lord ever.
"Do you ever come up with any new lines? I mean 'join me or die!' it's such a cliche the great 'Lord' Voldemort can't think of anything original? Come now Tom you have to have something better than that!" Harry said in a sarcastic and mocking voice. Every member or the Order looked at him in horrified awe Dumbledore included, while Voldemort stared at him in utter fury.
"Thissss one ssssaysss he ssshall kill all of you after he hassss hurt usss dessstroy him" Voldemort hissed in parsletounge to a seeming army of snakes as they slithered toward him Harry spoke calmly, to both the snake army slithering towards him but also his hidden familiar "Now that is the sssstupidest lie I have ever heard. If I had ssssaid that I would have ssssaid it directly to them I have no need of a translator do I Sssilean?"
"I ssshould hope not otherwisssse my life would become sssso much more boring." a female voice spoke before revealing itself by slithering out of Harry's coller and resting her head on his shoulder. When he spoke everyone froze the Order in shock and horror exept for Jack, Voldemort and the snakes in complete shock, and the death eaters in fear. The snakes quickly cleared the floor they would not attack anyone now there were two speakers and both on a different side. Harry spoke again, "Now that that little gift is useless are you going to send in the bone heads? I admit I've been rather bored lately you know paper work was never my favorite. And after I got rid of you that's all I ever really see anymore."
Voldemort looked back at him muderously and stalked forward saying, "I ssshall kill you myssself! Crucio!"
Harry stood completely still and let the curse hit him, the effect was not what anyone expected, laughter. "Oh come on you can do better than that Tommy boy or does little baby Riddle need a pep talk from mummy and daddy? Oh sorry I forgot she left you all alone in an orphanage because she was too weak to care for you, and daddy dearest was a muggle who didn't want a freak for a son now did he, poor tommy boy you must be devastaed! HA!"
The Order Jack included watched in awe as he laughed at a Curicatus curse and not only revealed who the dark lord really was but insulted him to boot! The Death Eaters shifted in fear this man was either insane or powerful enough to destroy them all. Voldemort was shocked not only did this whelp appear from nowhere he insulted him, spoke parseltounge, and laughed at his Cruciatus curse like it was a tickling charm. Not to mention he knew what his birth name was and about his parents who was this man?
"Well Snake face are you going to just stand there or are you going to attempt to duel me?" Harry asked in a bored tone. Before he noticed a ringing sound coming from his pocket he lifted his hand in the universal sign for one moment before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a two way mirror. "Hello?"
"Harry, are you alright?" a voice that every person present recognized as Remus Lupin's spoke up from the mirror as every one turned to look at said man who looked just as shocked as them.
"Oh yeah just my ego, but guess what as soon as I got spat out of the veil Siri just laughs at me and says that now I know who he felt about bitchatrix. Not only that but an entire order meeting. Which then turned into a volde raid where snake face himself showed up, he tried the whole snake army thing again by telling them I said I was going to kill them all at least until I spoke up and told them that was the stupidest lie I had ever heard and informed them I didn't need a translator Silean added her two cents by saying if I did then her life would be so much more boring. He then tried the whole curiatus curse thing and I had just asked if he was going to actually try to curse me when you called. So what have I missed?"
Mirror Remus chuckled when Harry said just his ego, chuckled louder at what Siri said he began laughing at the snake army story and was laughing loudly at the end before another voice spoke up again this one was recognized and shocked everyone there to the core as they heard it.
"Only you Harry could possibly stop in the middle of what is about to turn into a battle to answer a call although I do admit it is amusing perhaps you should actually turn a small bit of your attention to the would be battle?" Severus drawled over Remus's continued chuckles.
"But it's more fun talking to you guys which by the way Sev your voice I think has caused a shock induced heart-attack on poor tommy."
"Don't call me Sev how many times must I tell you this? And that is just your wishfull thinking."
Harry just laughed, "No now really what have I missed."
"Very well, Lucius was sentenced to the Dementor's kiss by one of the ten that you left alive. Avery was sentenced the same while, Goyle was sent to the prison. Minister Bones was informed by Lupin that you were not in fact dead. Draco was informed after he spoke out against her for you memorial. Dora and Kingsley were also told by Lupin and the offical word is you finally retired out of the public eye after the last remaining Death Eaters were finally captured. The Phrophet ran the story front page as always that you've retired to the Potter ancestiral home which it seems no one knows where it is. McGonagall is a bit miffed that you didn't take up the Defense position so she wouldn't have to find yet another replacement Albus's portrait was not helping by pesturing Lupin for your whereabouts to attempt to talk you into it."
"Yes well tell Albus to buzz off if I had wanted to teach I would have taken it after I got rid of Riddle, and Minivera can be as miffed as she likes I am not teacher material."
"Really you could at least try." Came Minivera's affonted voice.
"No Thank you I-"
"ENOUGH!! TORMENTUS!" Voldemort screamed out a curse at Harry who simple blocked it with a flick of his wand. Causing another scream of rage before the curses starting flying all blocked before with just a simple flick Voldemort started retreating under a steady stream of curses of all colors before Voldemort screamed out, "What are you waiting for kill him!!"
The Death Eaters all started to cast curses, and finally Voldemort yelled out a killing curse that hit Harry square in the chest and hit with enough force to push him over backwards flat on his back and caused everyone else to stop as Voldemort laughed only to stop in utter shock as Harry groaned got up and turned back to Voldemort, "Okay, that hurt."
Voldemort just stared at Harry in horror as he screamed out a retreat before he apperated out leaving his followers to rain on with curses and jinxes by Harry.
AN: Okay I am alive this is an long in coming update but you get the drift I would also like to request that if anyone is willing to be my BETA PM or e-mail me plz. I could really use the help but when I re-read my stuff I always seem to miss obvious stuff, No idea why really. Review plz!!!