Chapter 2

Gabby POV

We both sit on the couch side by side, neither one of us daring to say anything, just staring into the space in front of us. I can tell Matt doesn't know what to say, I can feel his embarrassment as he searches for his words to describe what just happened.

I decided that I need to be the one to break the silence, "how long as this been going on?" I ask knowing that I may be over stepping my line.

Matt stayed quite for a moment longer as he drew in his breath, "Since the night of her death." I thought he was going to stop there, but to my surprise he continued. "Ever time I close my eyes, I am reminded of the fact that I didn't get there fast enough, that I didn't save her." Tears began to well up in his eyes as he looked over at me, "I failed her Gabby, I told her that I would always protect her and I couldn't."

I instantly wrap my arm around Matt's shoulder and pull him into my body, "I know nothing I say right now is going to change how you feel, but you didn't fail her Matt. You did everything you could to bring her back. Sometimes it just isn't enough." I feel his body shake as I continue my best to hold him. Silence fills the room again as Matt body holds stills and I can hear his heavy breathing. I slowly move so that I don't wake him, but I place his body in the most comfortable position I can.

I know that if I stay the morning would be full of awkwardness, so I decide to gather my things and leave now. As I step towards to door, I look back at Matt's sleeping form on the couch. "I'm sorry," I whisper knowing that he can't hear me. I take a deep breath in and walk quietly out the door.

The drive home was easy with little to none traffic because of the early morning hours, but my mind couldn't stay quite like the streets tonight. So many thoughts ran wild in mind and most of them circled around Matthew Casey. I was worried about him and with the fact that he blamed himself for what happened to Hallie. I knew that if something didn't change his guilt would get the best of him.

Matt POV

The morning light poured through the front windows of the living room, but it didn't have the opportunity to wake me, I was already up before the light even reached the day. I lay as still as possible on the soft couch as I think about what Gabby said to me last night. May be she was right that sometimes is just isn't enough. I close my eyes a moment as I picture Hallie's body lying on the ground, but before I replay the scene in my head, my alarm clock sounded off in the background.

I sighed as my feet touched the hardwood ground and slowly walked into the bedroom to turn off the annoying sound. I was thankful for the shifts I had, it helped to take my mind off of Hallie and everything I lost that day.

Gabby POV

When I arrived at the station, I noticed that Matt's truck was not in its normal spot, it was very unlike him to be late to work. I try my best to not over think it as I walk up the drive way and into the garage. I say good morning to all the guys as I make my way into the locker room. I quickly change out and put my gear away.

"Morning," I hear a voice say behind me, I turn around to see Matt standing in front of hi locker.

"Morning," I say back wondering if I should say anything else, but I don't. I close my locker and begin to walk out.

"Gabby," Matt's voice calls out again, forcing me to turn around. "I want to say thank you for everything you did last night, I know what it must have looked like and I'm sorry…"

Before Matt could continue I quickly cut him off, "No worries," I said with a smile. "That's what friends are for." Matt gave a small smile and nod of his head.

Matt opened his mouth to say something, but the alarms sounded off calling us to work. We both rushed out of the room and towards our waiting vehicles. I looked over at Matt before I climbed in, I could see that from the outside that he looked and acted normal, but there was just something that didn't feel right. I swallowed my concern, I had to focus on the accident that we were able to go to, my head had to be in the right place.

Matt POV

We arrived on scene, each one of assessing the damage of the vehicles involved. A truck flipped completely over caught my attention first; I could hear a woman's screams of help as we came to a stop. "We'll take the truck," I called out to Severide as I run over as fast as I can. As I approached the flipped truck, I could see a woman dangling from her seat; her head was about six inches off of the ground and her hands were still placed on the steering wheel. She continued to cry for help as she looked at me. I can see the panic and fear in her eyes, "please help," she called out again.

"I'm coming," I shout as I run over to her. Once I reached the driver side door, I drop to floor to crawl into the truck. "I'm Matt. What's your name?"

"Emily," she says with fear still in her voice.

"Emily, I'm going to help get you out of here, but I need to know can you move your arm?" I ask.

"Yeah, I think so," She says.

"Okay," that's good I tell her hoping that she can't hear anything else in my voice by encouragement. I quickly grab by walkie-talkie, "Dawson," I call in as I hold down the button.

"Go for Dawson," I hear her say.

"I've got a victim trapped by a seat belt. I'm going to release her from the restraints, but we're going to ambulance on stand by."

"Copy that," Dawson replies.

I turn my attention back to Emily, "Alright, on the count of three, I'm going to need you to release the seatbelt, I'm going to slowly help you to the ground and we are going to crawl out of here together."

"Okay," she replies.

I begin to count to three, I am ready to catch her and help her to the ground. Once I reach three, I hear the seatbelt unclick and I can feel all of her weight in my arms. I slowly bring her to the ground. "Go ahead and make your way towards the window," I tell her as I guide her body further down.

"We got her," Herrmann Calls out as I feel her body being pulled through the window. I can hear Gabby instructing Shay to place the neck brace on Emily as I crawl out with the help of Otis and Hermann.

I thank them and quickly get to my feet, my eyes watching Shay and Gabby work on Emily. Gabby is asking her questions, which Emily is responding to, but in mid-sentence, I watch Emily pass out on the gurney.

"Emily," Gabby calls out but the young woman does not respond, She quickly checks her pulse, "She is has a pulse, but we need to get her to Lakeshore right now," Gabby yells as they begin to rush the gurney over to the ambulance, the guys help load Emily in and within seconds the ambulance speeds away.

Gabby POV

I close the back of the ambulance after rushing Emily into the hospital, I could tell by the look in the doctor's eyes that the young girl didn't even stand a fighting chance. The internal bleeding was just too much for anyone to stop in the field, I reminded myself as I climbed into the passenger side of the ambulance.

"You alright?" Shay asked looking over at me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say doing my best to throw her off my track.

"You just seem really quite today."

"I didn't sleep well last night," I tell her hoping that she will just drop it. I really don't want to tell her about how I went over to Casey's last night to confess my feelings only to find him that he is completely lost and broken. Just the thought of seeing him like that broke my heart all over again.

"Well I was thinking that we could go out tomorrow night," she said looking over at me with a smirk.

"What you are really saying, is that you need my help with something."

"Alright, I meant this girl named Jane a few weeks ago and I really like her."

"So what does that have to do with me?" I ask deeply confused.

"Well Jane has an older brother that just moved back from Washington D.C. and he was wondering if I had any single friends, so I told him about you."

"Shay why did you do that? I have told you a million times I don't need to be set up with anyone."

"Think of it as a favor to me," She says glancing back over at me as she pulls into the station. "Please just do it, I promise that if it doesn't work out I will do inventory for the next month without complaints," she pleads as she puts the truck into park.

"Alright, I'll do it but I'm holding you up to your end of the deal."

I shake my head at Shay's excitement as we make our way into the building. Once we move into the common room, I look around to find Matt, but he is no where to be seen. I instantly feel worry take over my body, "Hey Shay, will you save me a plate, I'll be right back," I call out turning around and walking down the hall.

Matt POV

I sit at my desk, staring at the picture of Hallie, I can't help but think of how things might be different if she was still here. I hear a light knock on my office door; I set the picture down and turn around to see Gabby standing there. I motion for her to come in.

"How is Emily?" I ask, but then I see the expression change on her face. I have seen that look too many times to know that it can't mean anything good. I close my eyes as I turn away from her.

"The doctors said there was too much internal bleeding," Gabby quietly states.

"It's never enough," I quietly say still not looking at Gabby. "What I never do is never enough."

"Matt, you did the best you could. You know that and I know that, but right now you just can't see it."

I stand up and face Gabby, "I'm tried of not making a god damn difference, I couldn't save her, and I couldn't save Hallie. What the hell am I doing here," I shout with anger in my voice. I know as soon as the words left my mouth that I shouldn't be yelling at Gabby. I am too embarrassed to meet her eye. "I'm sorry," I say in a much calmer voice.

"Matt," she said as she reached her hand out and touched my shoulder. "I think that you need to take some time off. Go somewhere to clear your head or go talk to someone, you have dealing with so much."

"Where am I going to go?" I ask. "Everything reminds me of her."

Gabby was quite for a moment and looked around the room, but then her eyes lit up, "when my dad had a rough time, he said there was nothing like getting back to the simple things in life. He would go to this remote cabin off of Lake Carroll by himself and just fish; he said it was better than therapy. If you want, I could call and make the reservations for you?"

"I'll think about it," I tell her.

"Okay," she said as she turned around and reached for the door "Matt," she says before leaving, "you make a difference," and with that she left my office.

The rest of shift I thought about what Gabby said may be she was right I needed to get away from everything. I knocked on the chief's door, through the glass and I could see him motion for me to come in.

"What can I do for you Casey?" he asked leaning on his desk.

I decided that I was tried of hiding everything; I was just going to lay all of my cards on the table, "Chief I need some time off to work out a few things, to get some perspective."

"Take as much time as you need, the job will be waiting for you when you get back." He said as he shook my hand. I think part of him knew that I was falling a part; he knew that this moment was going to happen soon.

Gabby POV

"I can't believe that I agreed to go along with what Shay had suggested", I said as I rolled my eyes looking at myself in the mirror. As I reached for my necklace, I heard my doorbell ring, I quickly rushed to the front door to find Matt standing on the other side.

"Wow," he said looking me over, "you look great."

"Thanks," I reply with heat coming from my face. "I'm meeting friends for a drink tonight," I say.

"Oh, then I don't want to keep you long," Matt said. "I wanted to let you know that I took you up on your suggestion and I'm going to take some time off to find the simple things in life again."

"How long?" I asked.

"I have saved up some vacation time and worked it out with the chief, so it will be a while," he answered looking down at his feet. "About two months."

"Wow" I say somewhat surprised.

"Look I just wanted to say thank you for everything you did. You are such a great friend Gabriela Dawson and there is no way I could have gotten this far without you." He pulls me into a hug, I can feel my body relax against his and part of me wants to pull him back and never let go.

"Goodbye," he says as he steps back.

"Bye," I call out as I watch him leave. I wait for him to be completely out of my sight, before I close my door. Once I am alone, I slowly close the door, instantly tears spring to my eyes.

Author's note: So what do you think? Please let me know!