Hello! The Narrator here! I thought I tell the story like this as it is totally different and I'm bored out of my brain, so, back to the good ol' Mary Sue who invaded Nico for no apparent reason. So, I've decided to make all characters OOC for the fun of it.

Chiron entered the big house in his horse form, heading towards the random interrogation room that was confidently placed for this story that just happened to be told. "Now, I hear that we have another vermin problem?" Not to my surprise, that he was very OOC.

"I am not vermin!" Princess Marina Suezettalina protested, as she was duct taped to the chair with a blind fold over her eyes.

Chiron rolled his eyes, and pulled out a flapjack and began to eat it. "That's what they all say." He munched. "However, is this Mary-Sue incredibly fat or stealing computer monitors?"

"She's pregnant." Informed Annabeth, quite stubbornly, who was sat in the corner with her arms crossed, scowling. Looking weirdly, and blatantly emo.

"And why is she blind folded?"

"I thought you knew all this, Chiron!" Katie Gardner randomly appeared as she normally doesn't get enough scene time anywhere. "Whoever she set eyes on know, since she is a full functioning Sue who allows her to mutate, so her eyes are like a vortex holes of doom, making whoever looks into her eyes, they will die." She said like it in a dark way, which made the imaginary audience gasp for effect.

As the OOC Chiron didn't really care, he just shrugged. "Well, you know. I've been gettin' stoned with Mr. D." He said, finishing his flapjack, then reaching for another one from his back where he had magic bag filled with them.

"Where is he?" Annabeth, totally not showing her feelings for the god, because since this is a crack fic, this is the most random pairing I could think of, other than Chiron and Llama. Beside that she was cheating on Percy, no-one really paid attention to that since Percy was off flirting with Blackjack.

Just at that moment, Mr. D's levitated (no-one said anything about the whole floaty business since he is like a God) into the room, wearing all black armour with a black cape and also a Dart Vader helmet. A spell of silence came over the people, well, almost everyone since everyone has just forgotten about the Mary-Sue duct taped to the chair, she was jerking about, wanting to know what was happening ("What's happening! Tell me or I will go angsty!") But really, no-one really paid much attention to her at the moment, since the kids had ADHD and the God's didn't really care about Sues as there are so many crap stories written about them.

Mr. D's became heavy, like every breath hurt, almost like he had really bad throat infection. But since God's can't get ill apparently, everyone thought that he was just doing to for dramatic effect. "I...like...Big buts and I cannot lie! You other brothers can't deny! That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung!" He thrust his hips forwards.

"Well." Katie said after a moment of silence, as everyone was in a bizarre moment of shock. "That's the last time I'm coming in the Big House and randomly being here." And walked out.

Annabeth sighed dreamily at him, her face all flushed. Her weird ultimate crush had taken over her and made her stare at the God all dream-like.

"Ahem!" I faked coughed, turning the attention away from the wannbe Dart vader, "You forgot 'bout it." I jabbed a thumb in the direction of the Sue.

"OH yeah!" Chiron shoved another FlapJack into his mouth, "We have hidden Nico somewhere super secret and no-one knows where he is apart from me." Weather this was true or not, no-one cared either way.

"Where is he?" Annabeth asked.

Chiron looked at her rather plainly, "Well, that's a secret." He said, "I thought you were smart, Annabeth! You are the Daughter of Athena." Annabeth huffed.

"Hey!" Princess Marina Suezettalina shouted out, "What about me!"

"Oh! You!" Chiron grinned.

"What's going to happen to me?"

"Well, that's simple. We're going to get the doctor to sort you out!"

Half an hour later, and a lot shouting later, the Apollo Cabin had been turned into a deathly hospital. We'd moved the Apollo kids to the Hunters cabin as they were out somewhere. The demigods weren't very unhappy about it, but when I mentioned that they were getting paid for the job, their mood got a lot happier. Yeah, and cost me about 100 bucks as well. Beside from that, Princess Marina Suezettalina was strapped down on the bed, Annabeth there with a camera, Blackjack as a nurse and Clarisse for another random person all waited for the doctor.

"Who is it? I want to know who!" Princess Marina Suezettalina demanded.

"Someone who you aren't allowed to touch." Clarisse huffed as she readjusted her massive goggles.

Just then, the doors bust open, reviling a dark looking Luke.

"Luke?" Princess Marina Suezettalina gasped in happiness. "He's the doctor!"

"I thought he was dead?" Blackjack said. "Wait, why am I able to talk?" No-one answered him as no-one really cared.

"He was dead," I said, "until I paid Riordan a check that he couldn't refuse." What cost me more money. I swear, this story cost me more than I paid for JK Rowling to write an eighth book.

"Well," Luke said deathly, his golden eyes shining in the red light, as he raised an axe. For the background music that was randomly playing, was, I can't decide by the Scissor Sisters.

"W-Why is he still Kronos?" Princess Marina Suezettalina trembled, tugging at her straps that she was tied to the table to, in the middle of the room. Her blind fold was off now and was now wearing super contact lensers so she couldn't make people die whenever they looked at her.

"I preferred him evil." I said, "Plus it would add a bit more jazz to the story." The whole room was black, with deathly looking equipments hanging on the walls and a single light hanging from the ceiling glowing red, which glowed the room. "Anyway! Evil-Luke-Kronos-Dude! Get to work!" I leered.

Luke raised his axe that dripped blood, there was blood on his clothes and splatter of red on his face, what Princess Marina Suezettalina wished was paint. Because Kronos really finger painted - although, that would be fun to watch.

"No! NO!" Screamed the Mary-Sue, "Anything! I'm too young to die!"

"That's an overused quote!" snarled Luke, his eyes flashing anger, that was mixed with amusement, "Try...something...new..."he said slowly and darkly.

"I...I..." Cold sweat began to bead on the Sues brow, terror shown in her eyes as she burst out crying. "I can't think of anything!"

"MARY-SUE!" Roared Luke, "You copy peoples work and this is your price you'll pay!" he barked.

Princess Marina Suezettalina screamed for her life as Luke advanced her, axe high in the air, hatred burned throughout his golden eyes. Just as Luke swung his axe at the Sue, she burst into flames, as that is how Sues die. A silence grew round them, all in shock; however, a malevolence smirk came upon Luke's face.

"The plan worked." He said, dangerously, "Good work." He looked at the other demigods and Blackjack, "Now who's next?" he raised his axe high.

Annabeth dropped her camera in fear.

Fin.

I hope that's alright to end it, there. Thanks for everyone reveiwing!

August.