~~A/N~~ This story is definitely a labor of love. It's pretty much done. I'm just going through and cleaning it up and bit before posting. I'm going to be posting at least 2 chapters a day. I hope you enjoy. If you do, just drop a little review my way. I hope you enjoy the latest chapter!!
Somehow, Gillian had muddled through that last year of her classes. She even managed to graduate with honors. She was offered and job with the government, which she happily accepted. She'd been working there for two years when she met the man that she would marry. Alec Foster was everything that Cal wasn't. He was predictable, dependable and safe. She wouldn't lose her heart to him the way that she did with Cal.
He' wined and dined her. It took him over six years to finally convince her to marry him. If anyone had asked her, she would've told them that she was just tired of him asking her. So, they married on a cold and rainy November day. The weather had matched her mood that day. That little voice inside her was screaming that she shouldn't do this. She shouldn't be marrying someone that she wasn't in love with. She knew that Alec loved her, but she didn't return the feelings. She hoped that, in time,she would grow to love him.
They'd been married almost two years when fate decided to throw another curve ball her way. She'd been called to a meeting with her boss. Apparently, there was a prime assignment that was just screaming her name. It was a great opportunity for advancement, something that Gillian had been looking forward to.
Cal was looking forward to meeting with Gillian Foster. According to her file, she was something of an expert at sniffing out the lies in suspects and victims alike. He'd spent his entire professional life searching out the truth on different faces. He was going to be starting his own firm and wanted someone to work with him. A partner.
He was sitting with his back facing the door when she walked in. He heard a gasp and then a whispered, "I don't think so. I'm not working with him."
Cal turned to see the face that haunted all of his waking thoughts and most of his dreams. The woman that he couldn't forget. No matter how hard he tried. He whispered softly, "Gilly..."
She gave him a steel hard stare and whispered, "Don't you call me that. You don't have a right to call me that anymore."
Cal stared at her for what could have been seconds, minutes or even hours. It was as if time stood still for them. No one else existed. No one else mattered. When he was able to breath again, he looked at her boss and said, "I'd like to talk to her in private please."
Her boss nodded and walked out of the room. They stood in the middle of the room. Neither willing or seemingly able to speak. It seemed as if there was too much to say, but nothing to say. All at the same time.
Cal watched as Gillian walked over to the window in the office and stared out it silently. He had a good idea that she was crying. He supposed that she had every right to. He'd hoped that she'd forgotten him. He'd had no idea that it was her that he was meeting with. He'd known her last name was Thompson. So, he supposed that she'd married somewhere along the way.
He walked over to her and whispered, "I'm sorry."
"Why?"
He knew what she meant. She wanted to know why he'd hurt her all those years ago. Truth be told, he was afraid. Afraid that she was too good for him. Too perfect. Too much of everything that he'd always wanted in a partner. So, when Zoe had told him that she was pregnant, he'd jumped at the chance to run. He'd never loved her. Not the way that he loved the woman standing beside him. He supposed that's why she barely spoke to him. Calling out another woman's name in the middle of making love to her would do that. If he was honest with himself, he was and always had been in love with the Gillian. He'd just been too much of a fool to realize it sooner.
Finally, he whispered, "I was stupid. I didn't know what a wonderful treasure I had until it was too late."
He heard her take a deep breath and then whisper, "Do you love her?"
Cal could've answered that question so many different ways. He could've lied and said that he did, but some part of him knew that she'd see right through him. She'd hear it in his voice. So instead he said, "I did at one time. I see that you got married. Do you love him?"
Gillian knew that she couldn't lie to Cal. He'd see right through her lies and subtle body language. So, she whispered, "I did. At one time. I think. No, I don't love him. Not really."
They were stuck in this no mans land. Somewhere between truth and uncertainty. Each knew that they wouldn't be unfaithful to their spouses. It was tempting. Even after all this time, they could feel their attraction for each other. However, too many people would be hurt by them acting on their feelings for each other.
"I don't think we should work together Cal."
"We're both adults. I for one can handle it."
Gillian looked at him with an unreadable expression. Something that he was not used to at all. He looked at her and she mumbled, "I don't think my heart can take it Cal. Not again. Do you know how it nearly destroyed me?"
"I'm sorry Gillian. I...
"Don't Cal. I don't think my heart can take it."
Cal looked at her for a few seconds before finally saying, "Please Gillian? I think we can be great together."
There was something in that softly spoken please that tugged at the final string holding her composure together. So, against her better judgment she said, "Tell me about the company."
Cal Lightman was excited again for the first time in nearly nine years. He sat down and started outlining the ideas for the company.
Gillian soon found out that she was going to have a few obstacles in her path. First and foremost was Cal's wife Zoe. She wasn't too happy about him taking Gillian on as a partner. Especially since she knew that it was Gillian he'd thought about during the early days of their marriage. She still suspected he thought about her just as much today. Gillian was, after all a very beautiful woman. Not the type she could see Cal with, but she was pretty in an average sort of way.
From day one Zoe set out to make Gillian's life a living nightmare. It wasn't so much what she did. No, it was more in what she said. Always making snide comments. Making sure to get the final dig in. Knowing that it was upsetting her, gave Zoe supreme satisfaction. The only thing she hadn't counted on was Emily.
Emily seemed to think that Gillian was the most wonderful woman she'd ever met. She would come to the office and literally hang on her every word. At first, Gillian had tried to discourage it, but it seemed that just caused Emily to grow more attached. She was definitely like her father in that respect.
It had gotten so bad that Gillian pulled Cal aside one day and talked to him about it. Zoe had enough reasons to hate her. She didn't need the fact that her daughter was growing attached to her to be added to the ever growing list.
She caught him in his office early one morning. She took a deep breath as she walked towards his desk. She smiled brightly and said, "Cal, can we talk?"
Cal had nodded, "Sure luv. What's on your mind?"
Gillian took a deep breath, "I need to talk to you about Emily." Gillian noticed the smirk that appeared on his face. She laughed, "It's not funny. I'm concerned about her."
"Is she in trouble or something? Cause you know, if she is I can ground her for life."
Gillian looked at Cal and laughed. Leave it to him to turn something serious into a joke. Although she supposed that's why, despite their past, they were able to work together. Sure, every now and then, some of the old feelings would creep back up on them, but, they managed to keep their feelings for each other fairly well hidden. She shook her head and said, "No. That's not it. I'm worried that she's been spending too much time with me. I don't want to upset Zoe."
Cal laughed and shook his head, "Zoe just gets naturally upset when it comes to you luv. It's a woman thing."
Gillian just looked at him, "That's not the point Cal and you know it."
"Look luv, I don't have time to deal with this today. I need to meet with the Senator from Ohio. Look, she's always going to be a pain in the ass. No matter how much you try to appease her. It won't work."
Gillian sighed, "So, I'm on my own."
Cal smiled at her, "Basically. I'll see you later."
She shrugged and walked away. No happier than she had been before.
At four o'clock, Emily bounded into her office. Gillian smiled whispering, "Right on schedule."
Gillian had decided to just go with Emily's hero worship of her. She hoped that sooner or later she would outgrow her need to be around Gillian.
Smiling at Gillian, nine year old Emily said happily, "Hi Gillian."
Despite her telling herself not to she smiled, asking, "Hi Em. How was school?"
"It was great. We learned how to divide. Did you know that math is fun?"
Gillian nodded, "Yeah. It is."
Emily went on and on about her day. Gillian continued to work while she talked. Occasionally stopping to help Emily with her homework. She truly loved this little girl.
She and Alec had hoped to have a child of their own. Despite trying everything known to man, they'd been unable to conceive. So, they'd finally decided to adopt. They had their little Sophie for fifty-seven days. Three days before the adoption would have been finalized. It had nearly destroyed Gillian. She'd retreated into her work. Alec seemed to be less affected by it. She wondered if he'd ever truly wanted children. They'd talked of trying again to adopt, but Alec always found a reason to put it off.
So, despite everything wanting to be a mother, she remained childless. She wondered if Cal and she would have had a baby if they'd stayed together. One with her hair and Cal's eyes. Maybe a little boy and girl. Now however, she knew that she couldn't have children. So, her dreams would never be fulfilled. She'd cried herself to sleep on more than on occasion.
She was brought out of her thoughts by Zoe asking, "Do you mind if I take my daughter now Gillian?"
Gillian sighed inwardly, replying, "Why would I mind? She's your daughter."
Zoe looked at her harshly, "Just so that you realize that Gillian. She's my daughter and Cal's my husband."
Gillian was quickly losing her patience with Zoe. She was sure that one of these days she was going to lose her cool and say something terrible. Something that she'd live to regret. Instead she simply smiled, "Of course."
Gillian's lack of a comeback threw Zoe off of her game. So, she simply turned and walked out of Gillian's office. Gillian laughed and stuck her tongue out at Zoe's retreating form,"Whatever Zoe. Cal's yours, but he used to be mine. I was just too stupid to trap him first. One day, he'll see you for the bitch that you are."
Gillian dissolved into a fit of laughter. She was glad that no one was in her office. They would've thought that she'd lost her mind. She hadn't. Not really. Although at times, dealing with Zoe made her feel like she was going to. With a final look at the door, she stuck out her tongue again and went back to work.
Her display hadn't gone unnoticed. Cal had seen the whole ugly scene. He'd promised that he wasn't going to interfere. Despite what he and Gillian had been to each other in the past, he was now married to Zoe. Despite the hell that their marriage had become. He'd taken to sleeping on the couch in his office on most nights. On the nights that he did go home, the fighting reached epic proportions. It constantly surprised him that the neighbors hadn't called the police. Not yet anyway. He supposed that one of these days, one of his more nosy neighbors would, see fit to call them.
He knew that the only reason they had stayed together this long was because of Emily. He often wondered what kind of environment this was for her. It wasn't as if he'd wanted to fight with Zoe. She just pushed every one of his anger buttons. Most of the triggers were as simple as her suggesting that he was sleeping with Gillian. The more he protested, the more convinced she was that it was the truth.
He supposed that it had everything to do with the fact that he and Gillian shared a romantic past. He couldn't do anything to change that. Not that he would. The time that he'd spent with Gillian had been something of an incredible time for him. He'd known true love. If only for a brief moment in time. Part of him wished that he'd never laid eyes on Zoe. Then, he and Gillian would've been together all this time. Then he remembered Emily. She was the only truly good thing to come out of his and Zoe's troubled relationship. He knew that if he hadn't met Zoe, he wouldn't have Emily.
That led to more thoughts. Would he and Gillian have had kids of their own? Would they be happily married or just as miserable as he and Zoe were? So many unknowns. He wished that he would've made better choices all those years ago.
Cal sighed as he turned the lights off in his office. This was one of those nights that he was going home. He didn't know what awaited him, but he had a feeling that it wasn't anything good. As he was leaving the office, he saw Gillian's husband walk into her office. He hadn't liked Alec from the first time that he met him. The man couldn't stop lying. To Gillian and to everyone in his life. He'd even lied to Cal on more than one occasion. He had a strange feeling that he was cheating on his wife. That was enough for Cal to hate him.
Anyone that would cheat on someone as lovely, both in body and spirit as Gillian, was a fool. A bloody fool. However, he knew that until Gillian realized it for herself, he couldn't say anything to her about the snake that she'd married.
Gillian sighed to herself when Alec had walked into her office. She really wasn't in the mood for him tonight. Most nights, she loved seeing her husband. Tonight, after dealing with Zoe however, she was in a foul mood. She'd rather be alone. However, she put on her best face and managed to at least appear cheerful, "Hi honey!! What a nice surprise."
Alec smiled, "I thought I'd see if you wanted to go out and grab some dinner."
Gillian started to say, "I'm swamped. I..."
Alec flashed her a toothy smile, "You have to eat. Come on Gilly."
She sighed inwardly. She hated it when he called her that. He only did it when he wanted to get his way with something. Instead of arguing, she simply gave in to him, "Fine. Let's go."
Alec smiled inwardly. He knew that she couldn't and wouldn't say no to him. She was putty in his hands and he could make her do or believe anything he wanted her to. Some lie detection expert she was. He'd been lying to her for years. The ink had barely been dry on their marriage certificate before he'd had his first affair. It had escalated from there. One after another. He'd lost count of the number of women that he'd slept with.
He was amazed at how easy she was to trick into believing anything he said. He supposed that he should feel guilty, but he didn't. Not really. He supposed that part of him did feel guilty, but that was a very small part of him. So small, that most days he could ignore it. There were times, like tonight that he would show her that he loved her. He supposed that he loved her. Maybe it wasn't love at all. Maybe it was just the fact that he'd grown comfortable with her over the years. He'd known that she didn't love him when they married. She was still pining away for someone else. The someone else that she now worked for.
She didn't realize that he'd known. He would've had to have been a fool not to know. The day she came home and announced that she and Cal were opening this ridiculous place he'd known. She'd never been as happy as she was that day. Not when they met and certainly not when they'd married. Hell, she hadn't even smiled that day. He'd always thought that brides were supposed to be happy on their wedding day. She hadn't so much as cracked a smile the entire day. The only time she smiled was during the pictures. He could tell that she was faking it. For his sake and their family and friends sakes.
Gillian hadn't wanted to be Gillian Foster. Not really. She wanted to be Gillian Lightman. He knew that. He sensed that. He'd also be damned if he'd ever let that happen. He'd rather stay married to her forever and make her miserable rather than let Cal Lightman have her. He knew that his fears were unfounded though. Because luckily Cal was also married.
Both of the fools were faithful to their spouses. Alec laughed and he knew that he'd laughed out loud when Gillian asked, "What's so funny Alec?"
"Nothing Gilly, nothing at all."
Gillian cringed again and had to resist the urge to punch him in the stomach. The way he said her name just then made her feel like a little kid. She didn't like the condescending tone of his voice. They walked out the door and she turned off the light....