Chapter two: To the Window…
I want to thank everyone who did review last chapter, I'm so glad you guys are enjoying it! I love reading your feedback and comments, so keep 'em coming!
Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, but you already knew that didn't you?
Previously:
"That's beside the point." Rose dismisses with a wave of her hand. "I'm talking bigger, better, funner!"
"Funner's not a word."
"Jesus Bella, shut up! I'm trying to tell you something here!" I nod my head and pretend to lock my lips. She smiles in satisfaction and continues. "We'll crash the wedding!"
"Crash the wedding?" I ask incredulously.
"Yes! It's brilliant isn't it!"
Is she out of her mind? Mrs. Denali would kill me with a fucking fork. "Um, no Rose. I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why the fuck not?" she looks at me like I'm crazy. "It's perfect."
"Besides the fact that I would probably be murdered by cuntface's relatives, I don't want to ruin Edward's day." I say quietly and inspect my nails like they're the most interesting things on the earth.
After a few moments of silence, I lift my head an inch and look at Rose. Her mouth is set in a thin line and her nostrils are flared. "Bella," she says calmly, "He ripped out your heart and stomped all over it, and you don't want to ruin his wedding? To some nighttime hooker? What is wrong with you?"
"There's nothing wrong with me," I defend and cross my arms over my chest. "I still love him Rose. If she makes him happy,"
"But she doesn't!" Rose screams, causing several old men leaving the porn shop to look at us rather than the scantily clad women on their DVD's. "What are you looking at? Pervs."
"He obviously is," I argue. "If he's marrying her."
"Bella, you've seen how he is with her. That's not Edward and you know it."
"How do you know that's not who he really is, and he was just pretending before."
"You really think he would rather sit around an over expensive terrace in a suit discussing the stock-market with a bunch of old rich guys? Edward used to be fun Bella. Remember? We would go out on Saturday nights and drink until the cops came and forced us to leave. We would call random people and ask them if their refrigerator was running."
I'm hit with hundreds of memories of the old us, Edward and I. Memories of our snow trip when we got lost in a blizzard for three days. Our first time to Disneyland when Edward got beat up by a pregnant lady over the last mouse shaped cookie. Our first plane trip when I passed out and they had to perform CPR.
I don't realize I'm crying until Rose wraps her arm around my shoulder and hands me a tissue. "That's the Edward we all know and love. We need to stop this wedding before he makes the mistake of his life." Rose encourages. Bitch, she knows I'm emotional right now.
I pause for a bit and try to calm myself down. Again.
What's the worst that could happen? We'd be put in jail and they'd have to reschedule the wedding. Edward could get a restraining order. Oh well, it's not like I'd want to see him and Mrs. Cullen much after the wedding anyway.
"Let's do this thing." I tell Rose confidently.
She looks up at me from her phone, surprised. "Seriously?" I nod my head and start to push myself off of the sidewalk. She beams excitedly and holds out a hand to me. I grab it and pull her up beside me.
"I just texted Emmett. Tanya had a few makeup issues and they had to postpone for another half hour."
"I'm going to need a new dress." I tell her as I start to feel a slight breeze where there shouldn't be one. I twist my torso until I can see the back of the dress. So much for a nice outfit. A huge tear from the bottom of the dress to the mid-back exposes my batman underwear and bare back.
"Who says we're wearing dresses?"
Twenty minutes and one trip to Wal-Mart later, we were pulling into the church where the ceremony was being held.
"I can't believe you talked me into this." I tell her as I slam PORN's driver seat door.
"Don't worry, we look great." Rose tells me as she pulls down her cut of T-Shirt that says 'Deep Throat" with a picture of a giraffe on it. She paired it with a pair of high heels and cut off shorts.
I roll my eyes at her. I went the more modest rout and found a black t-shirt on the clearance rack with a picture of a squirrel holding a giant acorn. In white letters across the top it say 'Don't act like you're not impressed.' I even got matching acorn earrings.
"I take it back. I look amazing, you look ridiculous." She snorts.
"What's the plan?" I ask nervously.
Emmett says they're staring in ten minutes. I say we sneak in and wait for them to start. When the preacher dude starts yappin' we break out into song and start tearing shit up!"
"You're sure they can't arrest us for this?"
"Naw, we'll be long by then." She grabs my arm and starts pulling us around to the 'secret entrance' as Emmett stated in his text.
"So Emmett's in on this?" I ask as we push on the door at the back of the church.
Thankfully it doesn't squeak. "Sorta. He's going with the whole 'don't ask don't tell thing." She whispers as we crouch down and tiptoe to a seat at the back. "He knows we're up to something, hell he encouraged us, but he doesn't want to know what. You know he can't keep a secret for shit."
"That's true." I agree and take my seat next to Rose.
"What the fuck is this? A sweet sixteen?" Rose snorts as she takes in the décor.
It's true, it really looks like one. Every wall on the church is painted a different shade of pink. The hot pink streamers look like they were bought at the ninety nine cent store. The centerpieces on the tables are little Chihuahuas with pink fuzzy hats sitting in pink purses. The Chihuahua was customized to have a speech bubble saying 'thanks for coming to seleberate Edward and Tanya's wedding, Bark Bark.'
For god's sake, they spelled celebrate wrong.
"How can Edward even think about marrying this witch? I wonder what their house looks like." she comments and snorts.
All of a sudden, the lights dim a bit and the onlookers fall silent. Edward steps out of the shadow and stands under the arch laced with oink flowers. Rosalie snorts and I nudge her elbow.
"You're gunna blow our cover," I whisper so only she can hear me.
I smirk and look back up at Edward. His face is stoic, but his eyes search the crowd. I let myself hope, just for a second, that he's searching for me.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for," Are they announcing a fucking play? "Tanya Denali! Let the wedding begin." A man with a mega phone shouts as the Wedding March starts to play. A spotlight flies to the back of the room and Tanta steps out.
Rosalie and I let out a loud laugh, but thankfully it's dark enough that nobody can see who it was.
Tanya's dress is maybe the number one worst outfit in the world. She may as well have worn a cardboard Wheaties Cereal box.
Her b right white dress has a diameter of four feet at the bottom and is practically dripping with sequins and glitter. The pink sash around her waist is tied into a giant bow, and she's wearing a matching pink bow on her head.
She's holding pink and white roses and waving to the crowd like she's Queen Elizabeth. Bitch.
She waltzes down the aisle with her father strolling behind her. She trips slightly as she reaches Edward and smiles sweetly at him. He gulps and smiles back. I know that smile. I think. He's being polite.
"He doesn't want to marry her." I whisper to Rose. "Look at his face."
"Well then, we're doing him a favor." She smirks. "Count of three."
I nod and start counting. "One,"
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today," the priest stars.
"Two," Rose whispers.
"To witness the joining of Edward Cullen and Tanya Denali in Holy-"
"Three," I whisper absentmindedly, "What song are we singing?"
"Matrimony,"
The Preist barely finishes before Rose jumps up and starts screaming. "To the windoooooow! To the wall!"
Every eye in the church whips around to us and I jump up beside Rose. There's a collective gasp that erupts through the church.
"To the sweat drop down my balls! To all these bitches crawl" I scream and step out into the aisle. Everyone's too shocked to move and stop us.
"To all skeet skeet motherfucker, all skeet skeet god damn!
To all skeet skeet motherfucker, all skeet skeet god damn!" Rose yells and joins me in the aisle.
It's so silent, you could hear a pin drop.
Emmett recovers first and sings from beside Edward under the arch. "Shortie crunk so fresh so clean can she fuck that
Question been harassing me in the mind this bitch is fine"
I don't dare look at Edward or Tanya as I keep singing with Rose. "She getting crunk in the club I mean she working
Then I like to see the female twerking taking the clothes off BUCKEY naked!" we scream and dance around eachother.
Tanya starts screaming and her father rushes down the aisle towards us. "Shut up!" he yells and races toward us.
"3,6,9 damn your fine move it to you sing it to me one mo time
Get low, Get low" Rose and I stop grinding on each other and take off in different directions as Mr. Denali comes barreling towards us.
"Get Low, Get low, Get low" I sing and race around each of the tables, knocking down the pink Chihuahuas as I go.
Tanya's mother stands up in front of me and I stop dead in my tracks. She's a rather large woman, not someone I want to tangle with if you know what I mean.
"To the window! To the wall,
To the sweat drop down my balls!
To all these bitches crawl!" Alice's screaming voice from across the room startles Mrs. Denali whips around long enough for me to slide past her.
I laugh and meet up with Rose in front of Tanya and Edward. We link arms and continue to sing. "Let me see you get low you scared you, scared you
Drop dat ass to the floor you scared you, scared you
Let me see you get low you scared you, scared you"
By now, the whole room is in chaos with people running all over the place trying to catch Rose and I.
Tanya's yelling at Edward behind us, and Alice has linked her arm with my empty one. "I love you Bella." She laughs and sings with us.
"Now back,back,back it up
a back,back,back it up
a back,back,back it up
a back,back,back it up" All three of us scream as we race down the center aisle and throw open the church doors.
Light streams into the church, and I chance a look back at Edward before we leave. He's staring at me with a breathtaking smile on his face, and I know that he's back.
"Come on Bella!" Rose screams and drags me over to where we parked PORN.
Rose jumps in the driver's seat and revs the ancient engine. I run over to the passenger's side and throw open the door. "Are you coming?" I ask Alice over the roar of PORN and the crowd of screaming people flowing out from the church.
"Naw, I need to talk some sense into Eddie." She tells me. I nod in acceptance and sit down in the car. Alice's hand shoots out and stops me from closing the door. "Thank you Bella." She says seriously with a small smile and runs off.
I smile back and slam my door shut. Rose throws the car in first gear and takes off out the driveway.
"I can't believe we did that!" I laugh.
"We fucking rock." She says and looks at me with excited eyes.
"He's going to kill me." I tell her sadly.
"No fucking way! Did you see his face as we left?"
I shrug my shoulder and Rose rolls her eyes. "I'll tell you what he what thinking," she tells me and pull s over onto the side of the road. She switches off the engine and twists so that she's facing me. "He realized what a tightwad Cuntface and her family is and how fun his real family is."
"You think?"
"Oh, honey I know." She tells me and turns back around to face the windshield. "What the," she pauses and squints out the front window.
"What is it?" I ask.
Not that I really need to. I know what it is. The sirens and read flashing lights are a dead giveaway.
"Oh fuck," Rose curses and twists the key into the ignition. "Come on come on come on!" she yells and hits the steering wheel in anger of the low grinding noise of the motor. "Start you piece of shit!" she yells.
The two cop cars pull up to us, one in front and one behind and they step out of their cars in their fancy little uniforms. The woman in front of us takes a bite out of her doughnut before shutting the door and walking around to Rose's side.
"Good evening ladies." She snarks and gives us both the once over. "Are you Isabella Swan and Rosales Gale?"
"It's Rosalie Hale," Rose snaps and and crosses her arms.
"Um, I'm not Bella I'm Pedro. I think you have the wrong car." I tell the officer calmly.
"Get out of the car." She demands and pulls open the door.
"I fucking hate you Rose," I hiss at her.
A second officer strolls up behind us and grabs my hands. "Rosales Gale and Isabella Swan, you are under arrest for disruption of a holy ceremony, recklessness, and public indecency."
"It's Hale, Rosalie Hale." Rose corrects angrily as the female officer snaps the silver cuffs around her wrists.
The cop behind me does the same, and the cool metal feels heavy and sharp around my hands. He walks me around to the female's car and pushes me in. Rose is shoved in next to me and both doors close.
The uncomfortable seats are worn and filthy, and I notice there are no handles on the doors. They can only be opened from the outside. Fucking great! What if we get into an accident?
"I must say," the female cop starts as she slides into the cab of the car and slams her door shut. "This has to be the oddest call we've ever gotten."
EPOV
I'm standing next to my sister and Emmett watching the scene unfold before me. My fiancé running around like a chicken sobbing that her wedding day is ruined. Mr. and Mrs. Denali calling someone and shouting on the phone. Some of the hundreds of guests I don't even know driving away while some stand back and watch the show.
Like I said, I'm watching it, but I'm not really watching it. Nope. My mind is millions of miles away. Well, three years away to be exact. Three years ago, when I was happy.
Memories start to flood my mind about myself, my family, and my friends. My Bella.
What am I doing here? When did it all go wrong?
So, watcha think? Next Chapter hopefully up soon… faster with reviews, (hint hint)
The song they sang was Get Low by Lil Jon (a slightly disturbing song, but I figured it would be perfect)
Drop a review on your way out!