Chapter Two - All The Angst
"Amy,Bright,time for dinner!"Mom said from the bottom of the stairs,as I was dusting in my room.
"Bright,Amy,are you guys coming anytime soon?"Dad asked sarcastically after a few minutes had passed.Neither of us had rose from our rooms.
"Coming,coming."Bright said,voice altered because of a red Blow-Pop sticking out of his mouth.
"You're not supposed to be eating."I stated as I turned down my music and walked out of my room.
"Whatever."he said in a dull voice.
"I thought you guys were abducted by aliens,you took so long.Come on,sit down."Dad said.
"Not hungry."Bright stated.He seemed to be talking in shorthand,but that's written rather than spoken.
"And why not?You're a supposedly growing boy,or even if not,you're usually hungry."Dad said tucking the cloth napkin in his shirt collar.
"Not tonight,"Bright said,avoiding looking anybody in the eye.
"Me neither,"I said,patting on the top of the wooden dining room chair.
"Well,what's you're excuse?"Dad said turning to me.
"I'm tired,I think I'm gonna turn in early."
"I supposed you would since you've had a long day."Mom said,stopping Dad from adding anything else.I wanted to reply,"Had a long day because my boyfriend died or because my boyfriend died?" but I didn't,avoiding any confrontations.
"Well if you're hungry later on,you have a nutritional meal awaiting you,don't go ordering any of the intestine gnarling pizza from Gino's....."Dad said,even though he secretly likes it.I think that the only reason is is because Chang calls him the only doctor in Everwood and says that since he is so high in authority,he gives us discounts.
"Okay,"I said,walking back upstairs.
"Yeah right."I heard Bright mutter as he walked up the steps.
"Where you going?"I asked him as he grabbed a jacket out of our hall closet.Mom and Dad were in their room,presumably asleep.
"Out."he respoded.
"Cliff's End?"I asked.
"Hmmm guess again!"
"It's eleven o'clock."I stated.
"So?"
"Don't you ever think of anybody but yourself?" I scowled.
"What makes you say that?"he said sarcastically.
"Forget it."I said,angry at my brother.
"Later."he said,continuing putting on his jacket.
It's hopeless to even have a decent conversation with him now.He either completely zones out on you,giving you a blank stare or is morbidly sarcastic when he says something that you wonder if he's serious or not.
I sat down on my bed and picked up my book again,How To Kill A Mocking Bird.We were assigned to it last year and read it as a class,but now since there was nothing to do,I decided to put my brain to some use as I read up on the life on Atticus Finch and his venturous children.Moreso,to excape all of this.
I was just getting to part where Atticus is in court,presenting his case as my music ended.I'm not too much of a music freak,I usually don't keep headphones glued to my ears,but I had gotten into listening to music all the time over the last few days.So I got up and placed another cd in stereo,finding a burnt one that had no apparent owner label.
"It must be one of Bright's...."I thought absent-mindedly as I stuck it in.It had a handmade label on it,with my name written across it,so that part of the "M" was missing because of the hole in the middle of the disk."Well,it most defidently can't be Bright's."I thought to myself as I pushed the play button.As soon the song registered and began to play,I knew who it was from exactly.
Look at the stars/look how they shine for you/At everything you do/And they were all yellow/I came along/I wrote a song for you/And all the things you do/And it was caledl yellow.......
Colin had made me a mixed cd with all these songs on them before the accident.All slow ones with a nice tempo and a good bass.Nothing hardcore like boom,boom,boom,but with a soft drumming background and a good bassist.
So then I took my turn/Oh what a thing to have done/And it was all yellow.....
"Only if he knew that then....."I thought,looking down at my Burbon carpet holding back tears.
I remembered vaguely when he gave me it,when we were at our peak before it happened.Everything was going great.We loved each other.Or at least what I thought was love.Now I know.He didn't go all out on gifts because he knew that I would probably not accept any of it.So every once in a while,he'd give me something small,but very special.A pair of ballet shoes,a book,a cardingain,a perfectly preserved Grover doll.The little things that seem useless to many.
"Here you go Grover,"he said handing me a small package,lighter than a pack of pencils,and a little over the size of my hand.
"Thank you,and here you go."I said leaning in to kiss him goodbye,for it was past my curfew.Way,way past.He had pelted my room window with little pebbles from Mom's garden,light enough not to wake anybody who was asleep.It was one of our little signs.
"Hmmm,I outa give you stuff more often."he said smiling and kissing me one more time lightly.
"I wouldn't mind it."I said smiling.
"Well,bye Grover."he said rubbing my arms since it was freezing cold that winter night.
So then I took my turn/Oh what a thing to have done/And it was all yellow
It was almost if he knew what was to endure in the following months.Like he knew that I was going to be mad at him for not even knowing we were fighting that day.Like he knew that something was going to happen in that car.Like he wanted to make up before it even happened.
"'Night."I said,climbing back up my to my window by the fence that was on the side of the house.
I could still remember that kiss and how happy I was to see him even though it was in negative twenty degree weather.Smiling I turned up the volume a little louder so I could hear my favorite part.
You're skin/Oh yeah your skin and bones/Turn into something beautiful
I wished that I could take back all the times that I was mad at Colin.All the times I didn't answer the phone.
You know I love you so/You know I love you so
And the other day when I didn't say "I love you" back.Three simple words that can make one upset even though it's invisible.
"Amy,I need to talk to you."Bright said as he appeared in the doorway of my room.He had appeared so suddenly,that I gasped in shock."It's about the other -."
"What the other day when you weren't there for best friend's surgery or when you don't even care enough to think about your best friend.Best friend,Bright,best friend."I said harshly.
"I was driving."he said after he walked into my room.
"What?"I said,not knowing what he was talking about.
"Last Fourth of July,I was driving not Colin.I was drunk and swivered.It was me."he said,rambling on,covering the facts a few times over.
"How could you?"I said,hot,angry tears beginning to fill my eyes.
"It was an accident.I'm sorry.And now it's like I killed my best friend."he said,eyes extremely watery.
"Go,"I said quietly."Go away and never come back."I said,pushing him out of my room.He stumbled and ended up hitting his head on the hall table.He began to say something but stopped,getting up and walking back downstairs.
"Amy,Bright,time for dinner!"Mom said from the bottom of the stairs,as I was dusting in my room.
"Bright,Amy,are you guys coming anytime soon?"Dad asked sarcastically after a few minutes had passed.Neither of us had rose from our rooms.
"Coming,coming."Bright said,voice altered because of a red Blow-Pop sticking out of his mouth.
"You're not supposed to be eating."I stated as I turned down my music and walked out of my room.
"Whatever."he said in a dull voice.
"I thought you guys were abducted by aliens,you took so long.Come on,sit down."Dad said.
"Not hungry."Bright stated.He seemed to be talking in shorthand,but that's written rather than spoken.
"And why not?You're a supposedly growing boy,or even if not,you're usually hungry."Dad said tucking the cloth napkin in his shirt collar.
"Not tonight,"Bright said,avoiding looking anybody in the eye.
"Me neither,"I said,patting on the top of the wooden dining room chair.
"Well,what's you're excuse?"Dad said turning to me.
"I'm tired,I think I'm gonna turn in early."
"I supposed you would since you've had a long day."Mom said,stopping Dad from adding anything else.I wanted to reply,"Had a long day because my boyfriend died or because my boyfriend died?" but I didn't,avoiding any confrontations.
"Well if you're hungry later on,you have a nutritional meal awaiting you,don't go ordering any of the intestine gnarling pizza from Gino's....."Dad said,even though he secretly likes it.I think that the only reason is is because Chang calls him the only doctor in Everwood and says that since he is so high in authority,he gives us discounts.
"Okay,"I said,walking back upstairs.
"Yeah right."I heard Bright mutter as he walked up the steps.
"Where you going?"I asked him as he grabbed a jacket out of our hall closet.Mom and Dad were in their room,presumably asleep.
"Out."he respoded.
"Cliff's End?"I asked.
"Hmmm guess again!"
"It's eleven o'clock."I stated.
"So?"
"Don't you ever think of anybody but yourself?" I scowled.
"What makes you say that?"he said sarcastically.
"Forget it."I said,angry at my brother.
"Later."he said,continuing putting on his jacket.
It's hopeless to even have a decent conversation with him now.He either completely zones out on you,giving you a blank stare or is morbidly sarcastic when he says something that you wonder if he's serious or not.
I sat down on my bed and picked up my book again,How To Kill A Mocking Bird.We were assigned to it last year and read it as a class,but now since there was nothing to do,I decided to put my brain to some use as I read up on the life on Atticus Finch and his venturous children.Moreso,to excape all of this.
I was just getting to part where Atticus is in court,presenting his case as my music ended.I'm not too much of a music freak,I usually don't keep headphones glued to my ears,but I had gotten into listening to music all the time over the last few days.So I got up and placed another cd in stereo,finding a burnt one that had no apparent owner label.
"It must be one of Bright's...."I thought absent-mindedly as I stuck it in.It had a handmade label on it,with my name written across it,so that part of the "M" was missing because of the hole in the middle of the disk."Well,it most defidently can't be Bright's."I thought to myself as I pushed the play button.As soon the song registered and began to play,I knew who it was from exactly.
Look at the stars/look how they shine for you/At everything you do/And they were all yellow/I came along/I wrote a song for you/And all the things you do/And it was caledl yellow.......
Colin had made me a mixed cd with all these songs on them before the accident.All slow ones with a nice tempo and a good bass.Nothing hardcore like boom,boom,boom,but with a soft drumming background and a good bassist.
So then I took my turn/Oh what a thing to have done/And it was all yellow.....
"Only if he knew that then....."I thought,looking down at my Burbon carpet holding back tears.
I remembered vaguely when he gave me it,when we were at our peak before it happened.Everything was going great.We loved each other.Or at least what I thought was love.Now I know.He didn't go all out on gifts because he knew that I would probably not accept any of it.So every once in a while,he'd give me something small,but very special.A pair of ballet shoes,a book,a cardingain,a perfectly preserved Grover doll.The little things that seem useless to many.
"Here you go Grover,"he said handing me a small package,lighter than a pack of pencils,and a little over the size of my hand.
"Thank you,and here you go."I said leaning in to kiss him goodbye,for it was past my curfew.Way,way past.He had pelted my room window with little pebbles from Mom's garden,light enough not to wake anybody who was asleep.It was one of our little signs.
"Hmmm,I outa give you stuff more often."he said smiling and kissing me one more time lightly.
"I wouldn't mind it."I said smiling.
"Well,bye Grover."he said rubbing my arms since it was freezing cold that winter night.
So then I took my turn/Oh what a thing to have done/And it was all yellow
It was almost if he knew what was to endure in the following months.Like he knew that I was going to be mad at him for not even knowing we were fighting that day.Like he knew that something was going to happen in that car.Like he wanted to make up before it even happened.
"'Night."I said,climbing back up my to my window by the fence that was on the side of the house.
I could still remember that kiss and how happy I was to see him even though it was in negative twenty degree weather.Smiling I turned up the volume a little louder so I could hear my favorite part.
You're skin/Oh yeah your skin and bones/Turn into something beautiful
I wished that I could take back all the times that I was mad at Colin.All the times I didn't answer the phone.
You know I love you so/You know I love you so
And the other day when I didn't say "I love you" back.Three simple words that can make one upset even though it's invisible.
"Amy,I need to talk to you."Bright said as he appeared in the doorway of my room.He had appeared so suddenly,that I gasped in shock."It's about the other -."
"What the other day when you weren't there for best friend's surgery or when you don't even care enough to think about your best friend.Best friend,Bright,best friend."I said harshly.
"I was driving."he said after he walked into my room.
"What?"I said,not knowing what he was talking about.
"Last Fourth of July,I was driving not Colin.I was drunk and swivered.It was me."he said,rambling on,covering the facts a few times over.
"How could you?"I said,hot,angry tears beginning to fill my eyes.
"It was an accident.I'm sorry.And now it's like I killed my best friend."he said,eyes extremely watery.
"Go,"I said quietly."Go away and never come back."I said,pushing him out of my room.He stumbled and ended up hitting his head on the hall table.He began to say something but stopped,getting up and walking back downstairs.