Author's Note: So here we are, eighteen months after the five-year mission and Jim's disappearance. Two years after the birth of his child. Two years after the author threw a curveball at Jim & Carol's relationship all in the name of angst, romance, and storytelling. Thank you for reading and for the favs, reviews, and follows! DLB48, thank you for the wonderful beta assistance!

The Shipyard Bar still claimed the activity it had a decade prior, lacking no customers this early autumnal Friday evening. Not only that, but the horizon had not changed terribly much as Uhura and several of the bridge crew rode into Riverside. This particular city of Iowa was brimming with flat land, cornfields, shuttle rides, and building of starships, as usual. It thrilled her- the buzz of people, neon lights, even the smell drifting from the cornfields. She'd met many of her friends here who had made the Academy a full experience. Although most of those friends had perished by the hand of Nero, Uhura fondly pictured them all as they were here gathering for laughter before their adventure in space. Uhura recognized Lew, the bartender, though he sported even less hair now. His joviality blended with the young Starfleet recruits sitting in front of him. Whatever tale he was scrounging up, it amused the cadets, and they gave him their full attention.

Uhura sat back in her chair, noting that Spock had not yet found a comfort level in this environment. She smiled at him across the table and he all but glared. Yes, Uhura did drag him here. She'd wanted to reminisce here before leaving in a few days after the conference. This place made her think of Jim, in a good way. She frowned as she remembered Spock knew this place, too, from melding with Jim the first year of the five-year mission.

"I'm sorry," she mouthed, and his gaze morphed into a blend of sorrow and grief. Spock had not been the same since Kirk had resigned and left the Enterprise and Starfleet eighteen months ago, and now Uhura had unintentionally added to the pain her boyfriend was experiencing.

She was such an idiot to not think of the much-suppressed human side of Spock this evening.

Uhura couldn't tell the rest that, nor that it strangely warmed her own heart to be here, close to the captain they'd tried so hard to find. Although they all knew this, excepting Bria'lel, none of them had the courage to mention that this was their former captain's hometown. It plagued their minds. All seven passengers had been reduced to silence as they saw Riverside. It was a place he'd never return to, surely, after all the education they had on his abusive, father-less, and practically mother-less childhood.

Her shipmates, her friends, were huddled around the small table. Spock did not relax against the back of his own chair. His arms were steady and stiff on the table. Uhura ordered him a nonalcoholic Cardassian Sunrise, but it was untouched. He was also sandwiched between Scotty and Chekov, his back towards the door, and forced to hear their increased chatter. He came here for her but Uhura hated that she was putting him through hell.

She twirled her hair, knowing Spock could hardly help himself when she did that.

It worked.

His attention on her twiddling fingers and the shining glory that was hers, as he called it, she kept thinking of all she remembered of this place. And it didn't make her sad, for once. She smiled to herself, then, as she thought of Kirk's arrogance and utter desire for her first name. It had been quite the initiation to a sister-brother relationship she'd never had.

It was imperative for Uhura to be aware of everyone coming in or out of the bar so she'd promptly claimed the seat she preferred. After that fistfight Jim had with Cupcake and the others, Uhura never entered a bar without a greater sense of caution. Sulu sat on her left, and they bonded the first few minutes as they compared drinks from their days as cadets.

McCoy and his half-human, half-Ikaaran medical assistant, Bria'lel, sat on Uhura's right, furthest away from the entrance. Bria'lel was a quiet woman with tanned skin, dark hair, and petite features. She was absolutely beautiful with that distinguishing Ikaaran mark on her forehead and Uhura could not figure out why in the world McCoy had never asked her out. In fact, Bria'lel herself had not shown a romantic awareness for the darkly handsome doctor, though they were constantly at the hip. Bria'lel seemed a lost puppy at times, almost afraid of her own shadow. She was extremely smart and a definitive asset to the Enterprise. Perhaps McCoy needed that, since his best friend had left suddenly, silently, and cruelly.

Uhura may never forgive Jim for that. Uhura would never forgive Jim for leaving Spock, either.

"Bria'lel, have you been to Earth before?" Uhura claimed the time to learn more about their newest crew member. Enough thinking about their lost captain who was making certain his crew would never find him.

"I have," Bria'lel said. "As a child." Even this she said timidly. Uhura would have to get her out of her shell to survive the normalcy of the Enterprise. It seemed at least with Spock as captain the craziness was a bit subdued compared to Kirk controlling the coveted ship.

"To a growing city? Or a pitiful vast area of nothingness, like this place?" McCoy chugged his whiskey. "No wonder Jim left."

Uhura shot him a hard look. McCoy ignored it and continued to mutter.

"I'd like, though, to see that cliff where Jim crashed the Corvette."

Scotty and Chekov stopped talking.

"I dinnae believe I heard all this story from the laddie." Mr. Scott said. "I'd like to hear it a wee bit more. Seems fittin' for the place."

McCoy peered at Spock, who looked like he'd swallowed a sip of his first real Slusho.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," said McCoy. "Sorry I mentioned it." He lifted his glass, swallowed in a huff, and then slammed his drink back down on the table, sloshing plenty. Bria'lel jumped, looked at no one, and scooted further away in her seat from McCoy.

Uhura was really going to have to do something about that girl.

Uhura didn't have to think much of that, for a "townie" drifted over and began to flirt with Bria'lel. The medical assistant glared at him, showing the first glimpse of backbone. When he moved to touch Bria'lel's leg, she grasped his hand and bent it backwards. The "townie" did not know what hit him and those at the table could not help but laugh.

Bria'lel did not say anything as the young man left, but she did move closer to McCoy. Uhura smirked at the big brother look on his face. She bet anything the next guy to make a move towards Bria'lel would meet their match in the southern doctor. He could pack a punch.

It was disappointing to see McCoy was not interested in her in more than a platonic way. Uhura wanted to fix both them up- someday. If Bria'lel's performance stuck and she showed more backbone.

"We have a wee bit of music coming to us," said Mr. Scott as a band set up.

"Excuse me," yelled Uhura across the table to the girls adjacent to them. "What kind of music do they play?" The whole band thing at the bar was new, but so was the added section for seats. Uhura guessed the popularity of Starfleet in Iowa helped business.

"Pretty mellow if Quarry's not here, which he isn't yet, apparently," sighed a skinny blonde. "We love watching Quarry."

"Listening. We love listening," winked one girl. "He should be here tonight. Every other Friday. Probably running late, as usual."

Another skinny blonde's desire for the bandmember showed as she wore the silliest look of daydreaming Uhura had ever seen.

"Quarry?"

"He plays electric guitar, sings, and does all things for the band except make their dinner. He provides the metal, the softness, the purity."

"I'm pretty certain no single musician could do that," Uhura muttered.

"Oh, you just watch and listen, sweet, lady." The three blondes muttered and Uhura took offense at being called lady.

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes at Spock. "We staying for some music?"

"You bet," grinned Chekov. "Ze drummer, she iz from my home country."

"Bria'lel?"

"As long as McCoy keeps those townies away from me," she smiled, "sure."

The others nodded and Uhura settled in for a few moments of pure relaxation. The evening would be a respite they all needed.

A buzz centered on the entrance, as a tall form walked in quickly, a guitar case blocking the face.

"Quarry!" One of the blonde girls tossed out the name.

The music was still slow, but picked up as the guitarist cut through tables to get to his spot on the stage. His gait was confident, almost cocky, as he'd surely held up the band with every inclination to make a grand entrance. Figures, Uhura rued, that the prized band member had an attitude to match and no concern he had held up fans.

The man shrugged off his guitar case, giving it to someone on the side. He took off his coat and hat, shaking his hair as the music's introduction played on. Uhura took in his profile, beard, and all black attire as he picked up the electric guitar and put a pick in his mouth.

He was all too familiar.

"Oh my God."

She wanted to cry.

"Nyota?" Spock was back to being all tense. So was she. She just could not even describe her feelings.

She wanted to heave a table across the room. She wanted to scream and yell and have a tantrum.

Instead, Uhura gripped Spock's hand, knowing he would read her thoughts.

The late-comer musician picked his part of the music with a nonchalant perfection on his electric guitar at verse two.

The beard and slightly shaggy hair did not detract from the magnifying blue eyes that looked down at the instrument he played with the ease of a professional. Those eyes belonged to one person.

Captain Kirk.

"Oh my God." She had no other words for the epiphany.

"Son of a bitch," croaked McCoy. Instead of picking up his glass he grabbed the bottle and began to chug it down, his opposite hand already choking another bottle. Bria'lel looked to be in a severe distress, which confused Uhura, since she had never met Jim. She must have been thoroughly impressed by the news, then, or public records.

She didn't want Spock to turn around and lose control so her own hand hurt with the pressure she put into the hold. The others, except for Spock, couldn't help but turn around after hearing McCoy curse.

A solo came for Jim, putting him in the spotlight as he moved with ease on the small stage. Spock was hurt, painfully, and utterly devastated. As much as Bones was friends with Jim, Spock had matched that level. Spock's friendship anchored their captain. Witnessing this rebirth of Jim and then, horrifying herself, Uhura almost wished him dead.

No, Nyota, Spock told her. We do not know what happened. Do not judge him. Please. For me.

Spock had reached a level with Jim that Uhura had not ever reached with Spock. In fact, their own relationship had been stressed since Jim left Starfleet.

I love you, Nyota. I miss Jim, my friend.

Spock's thoughts were almost unbearable. To think she had once thought he never felt.

Jim was here, playing in a rundown, middle of Riverside Shipyard bar? It was absurd. Where was Lucy? Was Jim back to his low living?

It was Jim's emotion while playing which struck her more than anything, coming in at the right time to create this incredible lost feeling. From his exact rhythm, immersed in the music, like he was meant to play here at this exact moment. The release he seemed to have strumming the guitar amazed Uhura.

Beneath that beard was their captain. He'd been hiding, as a musician, for one, in the place they never thought he'd be. His enjoyment with playing was certain, but he looked exhausted. Even after missing for over a year, Uhura could see the fatigue written on Jim's face. As she inspected him more, she saw his beard was flecked with dust and his clothes as well.

His mouth swept up beside a microphone and his eyes roamed the audience. As he performed the backup vocals, Uhura willed him to look at her.

He did in a moment and promptly missed the last four beats of the song. If anyone could pale behind a month's worth of beard, Jim Kirk could.

The bar crowd cheered, for an amazingly long time. Apparently, the showmanship of Jim Kirk in a rock band impressed many. Including Sulu, Chekov, and Mr. Scott, all whose body language revealed them revering their captain, in awe of finding him here. They had grins on their faces.

Meanwhile, Uhura bitterly decided that she, Spock, and McCoy were taking the brunt of this discovery themselves.

Bria'lel was a mystery. The medical assistant appeared ill and in complete shock. Uhura decided then and there that the woman should not be in Starfleet and she would be the first to persuade her to stop her course. First thing tomorrow. Uhura couldn't afford to worry about an assistant in medical who couldn't hold her own.

Uhura still held Spock's hand as she saw Kirk step to the main microphone. From her distance of 75 feet or so, Jim Kirk's nervousness showed. Or, it could be she just thought of the guy several times a day and remembered many of his nuances. Hard not to when he was best friend to your boyfriend and the captain of the starship you were employed on for the five year mission and longer under his captainship.

Jim swallowed a few times and coughed to the side, delaying the next song and causing a stir in the bar. Several people began calling to him to get on with it, all in good nature. He drew a good crowd. Uhura watched Jim's face become hooded as he nodded and counted.

The song was obnoxiously loud and raw, as if Jim purposely planned for them to be distracted by the music and not him.

Especially as Jim held the main vocals with a standout, rough, handsome voice he'd never carried before. And with killer guitar skills. Somehow, within the past year and a half he'd practiced like hell to get this good to play and sing in a bar.

Everything Jim Kirk did had a purpose, even this crazy stunt.

Jim had to have a plan for being here.

Uhura decided she wasn't waiting for anyone else to get moving and drag their asses over to talk with him. So she let go of Spock's hand and got out of her chair.

"I'm going to get answers. He'll talk to me," she stated. "This is an iconic place for us. I'll talk to him, and when I do, I'll come back. We'll discuss this, and..." Uhura couldn't speak anymore before she lost her nerve. She promptly strode towards the stage as the band and Jim began another song. She used every bit of the courage she had when she'd faced the Klingons to face Jim Kirk.

He stared her down for a moment, notes forgotten. The other band members looking back and forth from this Starfleet lieutenant and their prized guitarist but they kept on with the music.

"The bar. Now." She turned on her heel, knowing with a great certainty Jim Kirk would not ignore her. He was ready to keel over anyways. He needed a seat and a drink.

The bar seemed miles away from the table where the crew was. Which was good. Uhura did not want even Spock learning whatever Jim had to say. This was between Jim and her. She sat where, luckily, two stools were left empty side by side. She placed a foot on the stool, and waited.

Jim came after a few minutes. Uhura took her foot off the stool and watched as he sat, heavy with fatigue. Close as she was to him now, Uhura was shocked at the thinness of his face beneath the beard and that of his fingers. His shoulders were slighter than she'd ever seen them. Was he eating at all? She could smell sweat, something gritty, too. Maybe what was in his hair. He needed a bath.

"Kirk. You stink."

He sighed and cleared his throat. "That's the best pick up line you could come up with?"

"You can't impress the ladies like this."

"I'm not trying to. I'm paying back a favor." He caught Lew's attention. "I'll take a shot of Jacks."

"Make that two. His shots on me."

He glared at her. "His shots on him. Uhura, you're not drilling me for answers. I know what you're about to do. Leave."

"No. You just ran out of your dumb luck. We weren't looking for you here, you know."

Jim ignored her and fiddled with his shot glass.

"You about killed Spock."

The shot glass stilled.

"McCoy drinks more than ever."

The shot glass disappeared in Jim's hand.

"Uhura, I'm warning you." She could hardly hear him as he stared down at the liquid in his glass.

"This is the last place we ever expected to find you. Why here?"

"It's complicated."

"Where's Lucy?"

Jim frowned. "Don't worry about her. She's with me. With her family."

"Family? I thought you didn't have family."

"Trying to change that."

"You mean?" Uhura did not know what Jim meant.

"I contacted Sam before I returned to Earth with Lucy."

"Seriously? And he agreed to try this family thing with you?"

Jim nodded. "His wife had a thing or two to do with it. And their kids. They wanted to meet their Uncle Jim and little cousin."

"So you're here, in Riverside, living with your estranged brother and his family. Weird."

"Tell me about it."

They sat, finishing another shot. Uhura had had enough to drink so she just took her time, trying to think of something else witty enough to get Jim to answer more questions.

"So, can I get your name?"

He chuckled, shaking his head.

"It's not Jim Kirk, or JT Kirk, or James Tiberius, or any other combination we could come up with. And Spock came up with about a million. He tried them all."

"David. David Quarry."

"Quarry. That's...original. Is that where you swam in the dirt? And grew the beard?"

Jim tensed. "Look, Uhura, I need to go."

"Can I see Lucy before we leave in a couple days? Please, Jim. I...I think about her often."

Jim looked crushed. Was he dwelling on those nights Uhura had helped Lucy get to sleep? He'd been such a desolate human being back then, trying so hard after Carol's death, but so disheartened without the love of his life.

"It may be good for her, but...I don't know. Things with Lucy are precarious right now."

"What do you mean?" Uhura panicked. "She's ill?"

"Woah, woah. I didn't mean it like that," Jim touched her arm. "She's not dying."

He smiled at Uhura but she was hardly encouraged.

"You helped so much after her birth. I never got to properly thank you." He was too serious now.

"Lucy. What's wrong, Jim. Don't change the subject."

He closed his eyes, shaking his head again. "She has a severe form of autism that did not show up until we came on planet. She's not progressing as a child should."

"Nothing can be done?"

"I've tried everything, Uhura," Jim's resoluteness broke. "I can't put her through anymore tests. They make it worse. I've researched, we've traveled." He paused, running his hands through his hair in frustration. "There is one option I haven't tried."

"What's that?"

"A theory I'm working on, but for now, it's a theory." He bit his lip. "The only thing that truly has gotten us through the dark times with her is music." He looked up at Uhura, as if daring her to figure out what was already forming in her mind.

"You learned to sing and play so you could sing and play to your two year old daughter." The thought made her cry. "How long did it take for you to get this good?"

"Lessons every day for a few months. Practicing for hours and hours. In my sleep." Jim jerked his head towards the band. "The lead vocalist is the one who taught me, kinda as a joke. Then, I improved so much she twisted my arm to perform with them every other Friday after work."

"Work?"

He frowned when his comm beeped and cleared his throat again. "Yeah. Listen, Uhura, I need to leave."

"Lucy?" It was after 10 but maybe Lucy did not go to bed early like a normal toddler.

"Always." He stood, placing a hand tentatively on her shoulder. "Nyota, thank you. I think you do need to see her. If you...all of you...want to come to the house tomorrow for dinner, say 6. Look up Samuel Kirk in the directory."

"Yes." Uhura did not allow her shock to permit her from answering Jim's invitation with certainty. "Yes, we'd love to. And thank you, Jim."

"Well," he shrugged. "I can't leave her, Nyota, and I got some other demons to get rid of right now too. It's complicated. Just, I guess seeing her will help explain why I remained invisible."

"Okay." She said softly. "Jim, you're doing the right thing."

"Inviting you all at my place? Hardly." He gave a gruff chuckle.

"No, taking care of Lucy. She needs her dad."

"Till tomorrow." He took a half step away and then turned back to her with that historic smirk on his face. "At least this conversation didn't end with me drooling on the floor after a brawl."

She laughed softly and Jim walked away. Her laughter stopped abruptly when Jim let down his guard on his way out the back exit. His slim shoulders hunched forward as if the simple effort of moving sapped what remained of his dwindling strength.

After what Uhura observed, nothing about Jim Kirk could be wrapped up so neatly. Uhura's normally austere way of communicating lacked its usual luster.

"He's staying with his brother, Sam, and his family while working himself to fatigue somewhere quite dusty and taking care of Lucy who is severely autistic and is poorly developing and needs more help than he can give her but he can't figure out how to help even though he's researched throughout the galaxy but he learned to play the guitar and sing because music seems to be something that does help a little and that means he has to play here sometimes because the band leader gave him lessons in return."

McCoy stared numbly at the place up stage where Jim had performed. Spock studied the table and fingered his glass. Scotty and Sulu searched the bar where Jim had just sat, as if hoping he'd remained and they could speak to him. Chekov frowned at Uhura's run-on paragraph but let a tear drift down his pale face. Bria'lel was on her feet, staring at a poster on the wall behind her chair, back to them all. Uhura had rambled half a dozen thoughts, her own mind not understanding the state in which they had found their captain.

"And he invited us to dinner. Tomorrow."

Tomorrow was a long time away. Anything could happen. Uhura had no expectations, but she was hopeful. One thing was certain, they had definitely found Jim. However, after seeing him up close Uhura feared there wasn't anything left of the former Captain Kirk.