Alright, here it is, I don't have a beta and tried to edit best I could but there are probably a few mistakes in there, please stick with me on that. If I catch them I'll try and fix them.
Cottle leaves the room, his expression haggard and tired. Both Adamas are on their feet within seconds, the entire world ceasing to exist as they round on the white-haired doctor who had a habit of performing medical miracles. Various medical people follow after him, looking just as tired and exhausted. He glances down at his watch and realizes she'd been in there hours.
It had been hard to wait and give them space to work; he'd heard yelling sometimes, and times of silence too. Both scared him in equal measures of terribleness. Both had different consequences, both of them had not good. Yelling meant complications, and silence meant they might have lost her beyond saving.
It's his father who speaks up first "How is she?" The room seems to stop and Lee knows somewhere inside his soul, his life is hinged on that question. Kara had always been there and he for her. Except for now his mind smirked nastily sounding suspiciously like a male cylon who'd been rumored to have held her on New Caprica you abandoned her and she simply couldn't deal with it.
"It's close. I've got her in isolation as I don't want to run the risk of infection. Anything, even the wrong jolt could probably kill her. She didn't manage to kill herself, but she got pretty damn close."
"So where do we go from here?" Lee asked, unsure on what to do next. He felt like he needed a map, someone to tell him what to do, how to act, a manual, just something, anything to help fix this.
"I don't know." Cottle answered, his dark eyes staring at him from under shaggy white eyebrows. "She's got some sedatives which will take a while to wear off but when she wakes up..." He trails off and Lee feels shame fill his entire being. He drove her over the edge, whatever happened to her, he'd been the final straw. He'd pushed her over.
"Let's focus on getting her to trust you, if she was left to her own devices, she'd try this again. Have no doubts. Now get the frack out of sick-bay, you have battlestars to run."
Lee walks hollowly out of the room, coming face to face with the entire squadron. He knows he ought to say something reassuring, nice, and comforting and whatnot, but he can't muster words. He buries his head in his hands and sits in the nearest chair and stays there for a very long time.
It's been days and she still hasn't woken up yet. Cottle can't explain it. Apparently she'll wake up when she's damn ready to wake up, Lee presses for a date but Cottle looks at him sadly. Bad sign.
"In her documents it says she doesn't want to be kept alive by machines. So next week when the time runs out-" Cottle starts with his father standing nearby.
"Over-rule it." Lee cuts him off. They can't talk about her that way, like she's an it, a thing, not the woman he loves more than anything. They are supposed to fix her, make her Kara again, not the broken, barely-breathing body on the hospital bed.
"But-"
"In the standard operating procedure, it states a commanding officer has the power to ask for more time on the patient." Lee states matter of fact, hiding behind the rules, regulations, and the perfection of systems and being a high achiever like he always has. His Father's face is the same mask Lee can never read, and has been told multiple times it is the same one he wears. Cottle looks more disgruntled than usual and goes off to do as he is told. Everyone knew Cottle doesn't like being bossed around.
Before he goes back over to monitor Kara he looks Lee straight in the eye. "You can't just accept that maybe it might be her time." It's not a question, it's a statement. Lee knows he is right, his emotion is clouding his judgment, something he normally hates. But this is Kara dammit.
But if he accepted that maybe it was Kara's time to pass on, as cruel as her final moments had been, then she dies not knowing how much she is loved, cared for, admired, all the pilots on both ships had made her some things, little cards and the like, and they placed them on her besides, even Kat seemed a little lost with her mentor to face off with. The pattern was off, the world was spinning around and around, not knowing how to react when one of its key players was missing.
The Silence had followed him around since the first news of it happened, he avoided people at all costs, a hard feat to manage being a Battlestar commander, throwing himself in work and when he wasn't there, he was in sick-bay by her side.
"No I can't." Lee answers "People like her don't die this way." Cottle walks off muttering about the foolishness of love-struck idiots but Lee knows he is right. People like them go out in blazes of glory, or with friends and family around them at an old age, one or the other, no other options. This change in the story isn't supposed to happen, things aren't supposed to be this way.
Cottle stops and looks back at him. "Son if she hasn't woken up by now, I suggest you go find a good picture." And before Lee can answer him the doctor walks out of the room. Lee has some pictures of her, but they aren't for the memorial wall, Kara doesn't belong there. Lee opens and closes his mouth and than tiredly rubs his face with his hands, no, don't think of her being on that wall.
His Father looks him over, his normally crisp blue uniform wrinkled, his face is pale and he hasn't eaten since, a long time ago he knew that much. "Go get some sleep. And eat. Starving yourself isn't going to do her any good." Somewhere Lee is aware of the sad-tinged words that layer his father's voice and realizes his father has his own regrets. Lee doesn't know what they are, doesn't much care, they can't be as bad as his own sins. It's his fault, he drove her there, he could have easily pulled the trigger.
And for that he'll never forgive himself.
He makes it to his quarters, which are decidedly unfamiliar and finds his girlfriend waiting by the door. He realizes what she is now, just a distraction, it's just proof his actions drove a frightened woman to flee from him. She looks angry and Lee can't for the life of him imagine why. It's not her soul mate and love of his life the Gods are cruelly trying to take away.
"You fracking bastard." She starts as he gets close enough. Several pilots stop but Lee doesn't care. This is going to happen one way or another, and he would rather have it now than later, and if his crew has entertainment instead of old boring videos to play in the officer's rec room good for them.
"I am tired of this. You get all mopey over this slutty pilot who we are all better off without. Face it Lee, Life is easier without her, she's not here to wreck everything up, like she always does. Remember when she shot you, she didn't even enter your room, she just sat outside like a waste of space. I've half a mind to go to Life station and unplug all her circuits myself." she's hissing and fuming and Showboat looks like she wants to hit her. Lee certainly wouldn't stop her.
"You don't get to talk about her that way. Kara is everything to me, I didn't know it than but I do now. It's always been her, I was just too much of a coward to admit it" Lee is calm and simple, and suddenly wishes his rack was right there, and he could just fall asleep on it right now.
Dee leaves fuming, she pivots on her heel and stomps away. Lee, unable to help himself, calls out "Bye Anastasia." He knows she hates her first name, and his use of it earns him a glare. It's small revenge but he realizes now Dee is not a person he can be with. The pilots are clapping enthusiastically startling him a bit.
"So say we All Sir." Triton calls and Lee is finally aware he has done something right. For once in the past couple days. People buzzing begin to disperse, no doubt going to bring the story to the entire ship.
"She was reaching a point." Showboat remarks absentmindely to her pilots. "Thank the Gods Starbuck isn't awake because Dee would have certainly gone down there and made her feel worse. You know how she is."
This is news to Lee. "Explain this to me," he orders moving in their circle, they look like his own pilots did when they were caught gossiping about something they probably shouldn't be. When he is greeted by silence, an unwritten pact between them I don't tell/You don't tell. "Well is there a volunteer?"
"Dualla would go in the officer's rec room, pilot briefings and harass Go-, the CAG Sir." a nugget speaks up and is instantly silenced from saying more by glares from the pilots. Lee is intrigued. He's never heard this.
"And why wasn't I informed?" Truth be told he probably wouldn't have done anything, but it is Standard procedure and if they broke this who knew what else they were breaking. The Commander in Lee is out full form, Tired, drawn, wanting to curl up and cry a few years Lee is pushed into the back of his head. As he had been pushed before. Duty comes first.
"The CAG said she could handle it. Besides, there was no point, you wouldn't have gotten off your lazy fat ass to do anything anyways" Kat remarks coolly, albeit boldly. Since when did Kat defend Kara? His mind questions but right now he just wants answers. Before he can demand them the pilots move off, he'd thought he had an insight to the world of his and his Dad's pilots, but it seems to have diminished with his position of a desk job. Or they still see him as someone against their favorite hotshot. Either way, he won't get answers standing around.
He'll do some investigation tomorrow, right now he opens his door, locks the hatch, and collapses on his bed. Sleep takes him quickly, but it's not peaceful.
He's the Captain of a boat, on a sea or lake or something. A storm to rival some of Caprica's worst thunder storms takes place and Lee desperately explores the boat, there is no one else aboard. Or so he thought.
Turning the corner clutch the rail is Kara's figure, long blonde hair flying everywhere in the wind. Her knuckles white, clinging to the bar as the wind buffets her gusts strongly try to pull her off the boat. Lee moves towards her and she sees him, green eyes terrorified of the storm.
The water is behaving strangely, waves that weren't strong earlier rock their boat back and forth, so violent Lee has to cling to the rail himself to stay upright. Horrified, the two watch the ocean waters swirl in waves, coming higher and higher, wetting them both even more than the torrential rain. Thunder and lightening light up the otherwise dark sky the onslaught growing stronger and stronger as second wear on.
He fights his way closer to her side. Somehow he knows if he gets to her she'll be okay. It's that thing in dreams, you have a directive but don't know why, he just does it, but the closer he gets the harder the journey is and Kara's mouth is moving, he can't hear her words over the storm but he knows she is begging him for help.
The waves finally manage to swallow her as he gets to her side, hands clinging to the bar, defying the wind and water so desperate to sink her. All he has to do is reach out, take her hands and pull her up. But Lee can't, his body can't move and she's pleading with him to save her but Lee still can't move forward. One more gust rocks the ship and it's enough to let the water swallow her, his hand is finally able to reach out but catches air, he knows he's too late. His eyes search desperately for her figure but she doesn't surface.
Notes: I know, real life has unfortunately gotten in the way of updating, but I hope you all like this one. Again, thanks for reading.