Chapter 2 - I Would Rather Go Blind
I Would Rather Go Blind - Etta James
"Something told me it was over
When I saw you and her talking
Something deep down in my soul said cry girl
Cry cry
When I saw you and that girl walking now
I would rather, I would rather go blind boy
Then to see you walk away from me child no
So you see I love you so much
That I don't want to watch you leave me baby
Most of all I, I just don't, I just don't wanna be free"
A thick stack of papers were dropped onto Olivia's desk making a loud thud sound. Olivia jolted up to see Fitz hovering over her.
"What am I supposed to do with these?"
"I don't know." Fitz barked. "Maybe file them like all the other interns."
Olivia nodded quickly as she began to sort through the pile. "Alphabetically for the last or first name?"
"Are you seriously asking me how to file?" Fitz hissed.
Olivia shook her head quickly and looked down at her desk. She heard him scoff and the moments later the sound of his office door slamming shook her.
Olivia inhaled. She was there for a reason; she had worked her but off for this internship. She had struggled through 3 years of law school at Berkley for this. With a broken heart Olivia had managed to work through the pain. Law school had proved as a great distraction; from all of the reading, essays and presentations Olivia barely had time to focus on her heartache. The summers were difficult; she often spent them in NYC with her sister Valerie. After Valerie and her boyfriend of four years Derrick broke up; the two of them became a lot closer in trying to forget the absence of love in their life.
Her three years at Berkley were nothing short of boring. Olivia threw herself into her school work; never venturing out. She found her amusement through Harrison's love life through which she lived vicariously. Harrison still maintained the title of a serial dater as he was never able to keep a girlfriend for more than a couple of months before cheating or breaking up with her. Time and time again he was left to ice his face as the women in his life continued to slap him. He proved to be a great distraction to Olivia as his constant drama kept her interested.
Apart from Harrison she had little to no contact with the opposite sex. She hadn't dated nor kissed anyone since Fitz. She couldn't bring herself to even look at another man that way. It would just remind her of everything she had with him, and ultimately everything she'd lost. What she lost when she allowed Mellie to corner her on June 1st 3 years ago. Olivia remembered that day as if it was yesterday. She had showered and was just about to head out the door to pick up Fitz when Mellie showed up. Within their 10 minute conversation Mellie had managed to destroy everything that they had worked for all year.
Since leaving Olivia hadn't heard from Fitz. Their last conversation constantly played on a loop in her head up to three years after leaving him. She thought she could forget him, with lots of time. But now, seeing him every single day was beginning to take a toll on her. Fitz was the only person Olivia had truly allowed in; the only person she had truly given her entire heart and soul to. Ultimately making him the only person able to break her entirely, which he was thoroughly enjoying doing with each snarl and hiss.
Olivia swallowed her pride, exhaled deeply and rose from her chair. She was going to talk to him; she needed to speak with him. To tell him everything she wasn't able to all those years ago.
Olivia knocked on his door to find it wasn't locked. She inhaled and exhaled one more time before slowly entering.
"Can we talk?" She whimpered.
"Once you've finished filing you can go your lunch break." Fitz said not looking away from the laptop on which he was typing.
"I'm don't mean about about work. Can we talk please."
"I have absolutely nothing to say to you." He hissed.
"You may have nothing to say to me but I have everything to say to you." Olivia sighed as she took a step.
"What the hell could you possibly have to say? You were silent on your first day and all of sudden you come in here with some rehearsed speech."
"I know you hate me and you have every right to. I'm sorry Fitz. But you have to hear me out."
"So now you're telling me what to do?" He growled closing his laptop shut.
"No. But you owe me that much, you owe me enough to let me explain."
"I don't owe you a damn thing Olivia." Fitz barked getting up from his desk.
"Just let me explain!" Olivia pleaded. "Please! I'm begging you."
Fitz scoffed. "Say what you have to say and leave."
"When I... When I left, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Mellie came to me with two choices; either she would release the tapes she had of us, or I could walk away." Olivia sighed.
"I couldn't let her ruin you, I wasn't worried about myself. I just thought of you and how hard we had worked for the bar. How much it meant to you and how badly you hungered for it. I couldn't take that away from you. So I left and I'm sorry." Olivia choked. She bit down on her lip trying not to cry.
Olivia inhaled as her voice began to crack. "I was trying to protect you. I know I hurt you and I hate myself for that. I am so so sorry."
"Are you done?" Fitz hissed.
Olivia nodded as her eyes watered.
"Alright, you can go."
Olivia turned on her heels quickly as she headed for the door. As she took the handle into her hands she turned around to face him again.
"Are you really not going to say anything?" Olivia whimpered.
"Nope." Fitz said turning on his laptop again.
"But I—"
"I don't know what the hell you expected me to say." Fitz growled at her. "You let Mellie come between us. You didn't even talk to me about it, you just decided for the both of us. I was willing to give up every fucking thing in my life for you. And you just left without a word. So I didn't go searching for you. If I mean't that little to you that you couldn't say goodbye, then you didn't deserve to be searched for. And now 3 years later you come crying, trying to apologize. I don't accept your apology, I don't believe a damn thing that comes out of your mouth."
"Fitz I'm sorry—"
"This conversation is over." Fitz barked. "You can get out now."
Olivia turned around biting her lip as she swiftly left his office. She had to get out of there; she felt as if her throat was closing up. It was hard to breathe and her heart was racing. She made her way to the washrooms desperate to relax and pull herself together.
Olivia was revising Fitz's schedule for tomorrow when the phone began to ring.
"Hello. Petersons & Associates; Fitzgerald Grant's office." Olivia breathed.
"Is this Fitz's number?!" A female screamed into the phone.
"You've reached Fitzgerald Grant's office, how may I help you?" Olivia raised her eyebrow.
"You tell that bag of shit, the next time I see him I'll cut off his dick." The girl screamed into the phone. "Tell him its Paula and thank him for not returning my phone calls! Oh yeah and thank him for fucking my best friend Alisha!"
Olivia wasn't too sure of what to do. "Okay." She said awkwardly before hanging up the phone.
She wrote the message onto the pad of paper which she recorded all of his phone calls. However this one she felt a bit uneasy about giving to him. He was still horrible as ever and the last thing she wanted to do was seem like she was intruding on his personal life.
Olivia turned around her chair and knocked on his office door.
"Come in." He boomed.
Olivia opened the door and Fitz groaned at the sight of her.
"You have a message." Olivia said awkwardly.
"Are you going to just stand there or do you have the intention of reading it?" Fitz snapped.
"A woman named Paula called for you. The message isn't exactly appropriate so I'll let you read it." Olivia said walking over and handing him the pad of paper.
Fitz yanked the pad from her and read the message. He cleared his throat before he started talking.
"The next time any of these women call tell them I'm on vacation." Fitz said as he turned his eyes back to his computer.
Olivia nodded awkwardly as she quickly exited his office. So Fitz was now sleeping around with randoms. Olivia felt sick at the thought but tried not to think of it too much. However that didn't work and she began to feel ill; physically ill.
"No Harrison." Olivia groaned. They found themselves sitting a cafe eating lunch. After Olivia told Harrison about Paula calling for Fitz, Harrison suggested she meet one of his friends.
"Come on! Just for me." Harrison sighed as he twirled pasta onto his fork.
"No. You know I have no interest in that." Olivia said as she took another bite of her salad.
"Olivia you're 27. You need to start dating again. It will take your mind off of him, who knows you might actually enjoy it."
"I can't. Not right now at least, I have too much on my plate right now."
"Really? Like what." Harrison groaned.
"Like this internship, which you should be taking extremely seriously. A million and one people would kill for this opportunity we have."
"I agree, this should be taken serious. However that doesn't mean you can't have fun."
"This is my fun; having lunch with you is fun enough." Olivia said as she shot him a weak smile. Harrison saw right through the bullshit she was feeding him.
"Olivia... You haven't had sex in 3 years." He said in a hushed tone so only she could hear.
"So?" Olivia said crossing her legs as she ate a tomato from her greek salad.
"So if I was deprived of sex for 3 years my balls would drop off."
"Can you not talk about your balls when I'm trying to eat my lunch." Olivia growled.
"Just meet the guy. Please, for me." Harrison pleaded. "I won't stand here and let you wait around for him. I won't do it anymore Olivia. You're worth a million of him."
Olivia nodded. She knew Harrison was right. Fitz had made it extremely clear to her that he absolutely despised her and was disgusted by her presence. "If I meet him, will you stop going on about this."
"Yes." Harrison smiled as he perked up.
"What's his name?" She spat.
"Stephen. Stephen Finch."
"One. Damn. Date." Olivia growled through her teeth. "Do you hear me?"
"One date." Harrison smiled.
"Where did you meet him?"
"The gym. You'll like him Liv, he just graduated med school."
"I hate med students." Olivia said dryly. Olivia had nothing against medical students; however she had no plans to enjoy this date with Stephen. She was simply doing it in order to get Harrison to shut up after droning on for a week. After finding out how Fitz was treating her Harrison made it his mission to introduce a new guy into her life.
"Well, you'll like him."
"If he's anything like you, I doubt that very much."
"Shut your mouth Olivia." Harrison laughed. "He's a good guy. He's been single for a year; playing the field. But I get the impression he wants to settle down."
"When did you become a match maker?" Olivia muttered.
"Today." Harrison smiled. "Seeing as you've finally agreed to go on one date with him."
"Yeah yeah." Olivia groaned as she flicked the feta cheese in her salad around.
"So... Can I give him your number or do you want me to call him for you?"
"I dare you to call him." Olivia growled. She regretted even saying yes now.
"Mhm okay." Harrison smirked as he pulled out his phone and dialled Stephen's number.
"HARRISON STOP!" Olivia wailed as she reached over the table trying to pry the phone out of Harrison's hands.
Harrison smirked moved out of Olivia's reach.
"Hey Stephen, it's Harrison." Harrison smiled. "I'm good and you?" "Good. Well listen remember my friend that I told you about." "Yes the cute one. Well she's agreed to go on a date with you."
Olivia stared at Harrison in pure horror as she watched the conversation transpire.
"Great. That works for her." "Okay I'll give you her number and you can text her the address." "Alright cool. Later Stephen." Harrison said before hanging up.
"What the HELL did you just do?!" Olivia snapped.
"I'm getting you laid. 8 O'clock, Nobu in Hollywood."
"He's taking me to Nobu?!" Olivia gasped. She had always heard of Nobu as a celebrity hot spot.
"Yes he is." Harrison smiled. "Which means you need to put out tonight."
Olivia frowned. "The only thing I'm putting out will be your stuff out of our apartment window if you don't shut up."
"Fitz!" Jacob yelled beckoning him over to their lunch table. Hollis, Jacob and Keith were all having lunch at upscale italian restaurant a few buildings down from work.
"Hey." Fitz said as he joined them and sat down. "Have you ordered yet?"
"No." Hollis sighed. "We've been waiting for you."
"I need about 5 beers." Fitz sighed.
Jacob and Keith both chuckled.
"Get a shot of our waitress." Keith said in a hushed tone as he called her over.
Fitz looked to see redhead young woman with a huge chest.
"Hi there." She smiled. "Are you ready to order?"
"Yes we are." Keith smiled. He eyed her name tag which read Katelyn; really he was doing this as an excuse to admire her breasts. "Thanks for asking Katelyn."
"I'll have ravioli." Jacob smiled. They were all trying their best to lay the charm on thick with the poor waitress.
"I'll have the same." Hollis winked.
"Can I have the spaghetti." Fitz said handing her the menu.
"And I'll have the sausage pizza." Keith smiled. "And four beers please."
The waitress nodded. "Is Corona okay?"
"I don't know." Keith smirked. "You tell me."
"Corona is fine thank you." Fitz nodded sending the waitress away. "Jesus Keith." He laughed when she was a safe distance away.
"What?" Keith laughed.
"She looks barely 21." Fitz teased.
"I may be mistaken but 21 sounds legal to me." Keith laughed.
"You're the worst out of all of us." Jacob chuckled.
"I can't help it. She was hot." Keith laughed. "Speaking of hot." He said turning to Fitz. "Did you see what your intern was wearing today?"
Fitz exhaled. He knew this was coming the moment he saw Olivia wearing a red skirt this morning. He always ignored it when the guys gawked over here. He found it irritating and was even more irritated at the fact that it bothered him.
"I saw." Jacob piped in. "Her ass is... Something else."
"Who chose the interns this year?" Fitz said clearing his throat and changing the subject.
"I did." Keith smiled. "So you'd better thank me gentlemen."
"And why on earth should we thank you?" Hollis laughed.
"Hollis you got Jennifer, Jacob you have Marrissa and Fitz you have Olivia. I gave all of us female interns." Keith said.
"I'm still failing to see why we should thank you." Jacob laughed.
"Sally was so happy when I told her I was hiring four female interns. She went on about some gender equality in the workplace bullshit. I nodded my head and pretended like I gave a damn." Keith laughed. "Gender equality my asshole. The only reason I picked them is because at the mention of a permanent job they'll drop to their knees."
"You truly are something else." Fitz said shaking his head.
"Shake your head all you want but we're all thinking it." Keith smirked.
"He'll be here in 20 minutes you need to get ready." Harrison growled at Olivia. She was lying down on her bed in her dressing gown.
"Mhm." Olivia sighed. "I don't think I want to go anymore."
"You're going." Harrison growled. "You can't wait until 20 minutes before the dare to cancel on him."
"I'm only going on this date because YOU forced me into it. I'm fine with my sex life." Olivia snapped. "You're the only one who seems to have a problem with it."
"Get in the bathroom NOW." Harrison barked as he grabbed her by the arm.
"Fine!" Olivia spat she she pulled her arm out of his grasp before storming into the bathroom. She slammed the door shut behind her.
Olivia had been dreading this all day. She wasn't ready to date; no where near ready. 3 years meant nothing the minute she saw Fitz again. The minute she looked into those beautiful piercing blue eyes. She went back to the place she was 3 years ago when they first kissed. When he changed her life forever. When she realized she had never been in love; not like that.
She didn't want to go because Olivia had already had a taste of love. And she knew there was no way she would ever get it with someone else. Not when she still longed for those late nights watching Late night TV watching Chinese food in his arms.
"Olivia I swear to god if you don't get in the shower NOW!" Harrison yelled.
40 minutes later and 20 minutes late for her date Olivia arrived at Nobu. Harrison walked her over to Stephen in order to introduce them.
"Stephen, this is my friend Olivia." Harrison smiled.
"Hi." Olivia smiled as she went to shake the man's hand.
"Hello." He said as he shot her a grin.
"Okay, I'll leave you two alone." Harrison said before he left.
"Sit down." Stephen said as he pulled out Olivia's chair for her.
"Thank you." Olivia smiled as she sat down.
"You're welcome." Stephen smiled as he took his seat. "Are you from L.A.?"
"I just moved here after graduating law school with Harrison."
"Law school? Wow. Where did you go?"
"Berkley."
"My cousin went to Berkley." Stephen smiled.
"That's nice." Olivia said. She didn't mean to but she seemed to be coming off a bit dry. But she truly didn't want to be there.
"It is. She quite liked Berkley."
"I hated it." Olivia said as she took a sip of her water. A few moments later a waiter came over to take their order.
"Hi there. Welcome to Nobu. Can I start you off with anything to drink?" The waiter smiled.
"I'll have a glass of red wine." Olivia said quickly.
"I'll have the same." Stephen smiled.
"You drink red wine?" Olivia said raising her eyebrow.
"I love red wine." Stephen nodded.
Olivia shot him a weak smile. "So where did you go to school?"
"I went to UCLA for my undergrad, and then USC for med school."
"Oh yeah, Harrison mentioned you went to med school. How was that?"
"It was... Intense. Truly one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life, but I loved it."
"I felt the same way about Law school."
"Work is different when you're doing something that you love."
"I agree." Olivia smiled. "So tell me about UCLA. What was that like?"
"My undergrad was a bit of a blur, if I'm honest."
"So you were a party boy then?"
"A bit." Stephen laughed. "Did you party a lot?"
"Not really. I was in relationships for the majority of my undergrad."
"That doesn't surprise me."
"Why?"
"Well you're absolutely stunning, who wouldn't want to scoop you up."
Olivia blushed. He was being sweet. "Thank you."
The waiter arrived with their two glasses of red wine and took their order.
"Cheers." Stephen said raising his glass to hers.
"What are we making a cheers to?" Olivia asked.
"A new... A fresh beginning." Stephen smiled.
Olivia swallowed hard. Truly that was exactly what she needed.
"Cheers." She smiled as her glass clicked with his.
XXXX
Olivia and Stephen stepped out of Nobu laughing after their date had finished. After breaking through her icy front Olivia and Stephen managed to have a good time together. Olivia laughed, joked and smiled for what felt like the first time in ages. She felt happy, it took her mind off of the craziness at work.
"I had a great time tonight." Olivia smiled as Stephen opened his car door for her. Stephen drove a black bmw SUV, it was evident he came from money.
"So did I." Stephen smiled as he got in on the drivers side. "Are you glad you came?"
"Yes." Olivia nodded. "I am. I have to admit I didn't really want to cone tonight."
"Why?" Stephen laughed.
"Because I just, I haven't had the best of luck with men."
"Have my killer good looks, great smile, hilarious jokes and great company renewed your faith in the male race?" Stephen teased.
"Maybe." Olivia smiled. "Only time will tell."
"Does that mean you want to go out again?"
"I guess so." Olivia blushed.
"So I get a second date!" Stephen smirked.
"Hey now! Let's not get too cocky yet." Olivia laughed as they pulled out of the parking lot.
"How can I not be cocky? I've got a date with the most beautiful woman. You don't understand what an ego booster this is."
"You're sweet." Olivia laughed.
"Why thank you." Stephen smiled.
The two of them continued to laugh and flirt until Stephen parked outside of Harrison and Olivia's condo.
"Thank you for a lovely evening." Olivia smiled.
"No problem. Let me walk you to the door." He said as he got out of the car.
Olivia nodded as she undid her seatbelt and got out of the car. Like he said Stephen put his hand to her back and walked her to the entrance of her condominium building.
"I guess this is where I saw goodbye." Stephen smiled.
"Goodbye." Olivia smiled. "I'll call you."
"I'll be waiting for your call Olivia. Goodbye." Stephen smiled. He leaned in and kissed her cheek before heading back to his car. Harrison had warned him to take it slow with her before their date. Stephen didn't mind, he thought she was incredible. He waited until she got into the building before pulling out and driving off.
Olivia was back at her desk a week later. Since her first date with Stephen she had been on two more. She genuinely was starting to enjoy his company. He was sweet and a true gentleman. He proved to be a great distraction from Fitz. A temporary distraction that is; as the moment the date ended her mind raced back to thoughts of him.
Olivia's phone buzzed and she pulled it out to see a message from Harrison.
"Can't have lunch today. Sally's meeting with a new client." - Harrison
After having lunch at an internet cafe Olivia pulled back into the parking lot of her work building. She hated having lunch by herself; it was lonely and boring. Olivia sighed as she made her way to the basement parking elevator.
Olivia pressed the button and waited for it to open. She walked inside and pressed the button for the 9th floor.
"Hold the elevator!" A woman screamed out of Olivia's vision.
Olivia nodded as she pressed the button to keep the doors open.
"Thanks." The young woman giggled as she entered the door. Olivia's stomach hit the floor when she saw the woman holding Fitz's hand as she dragged him inside. Fitz walked in the smuggest of smiles on his face.
She leaned over Olivia as she pressed the button for the 3rd floor before turning back to Fitz as the doors closed.
"Oh shit." The woman laughed. "You have my lipstick on your lips and neck." She tried her best to rub it off as Fitz smirked to himself. He noticed Olivia in the corner however he had no interest in addressing her.
"That's better." The woman giggled.
"Thank you." Fitz said as he bit on his lip.
"Same time tomorrow?" The woman winked.
"I'll call you later Britney." Fitz lies. He smiled as her door dinged.
"Bye." The woman blushed as she got out the elevator.
Olivia watched as the woman exited the elevator. She was pretty; short curly black hair, carmel skin almost the same complexion as Olivia with hazel eyes.
Olivia felt a mixture of rage, hurt and what felt like motion sickness. She was angry; so so angry that Fitz had chosen to carry on with this woman in front of her. As if she was completely invisible and still not totally and completely in love with him. She felt sick at the thought of him and this woman being together; her kissing on his lips, neck and whatever else she could get her hands on. And lastly she felt hurt, hurt as he acted as if she wasn't there. Like what they had was nothing; it was like she was a complete stranger to him.
Fitz looked at Olivia through the corner of his eye and scoffed.
"You're disgusting." Olivia said underneath her breath.
"Get over yourself Olivia." Fitz snapped. "I certainly have." He snickered. And with that the door opened and he strolled out pulling up his fly before entering the office.
Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! xx
What did you guys think of Scandal yesterday? Am I the only person who thinks the show is getting unnecessarily more and more complicated. From Olivia's mom to Quinn to Huck to Harrison to Jake I'm starting to get whiplash.
Leave reviews they make me smile xx
Until next time
Missschevious x