They Need Help
Chapter 2
The next morning was somewhat strange. Harry was craving gillyweed extremely bad. He couldn't think of anything else. Ron seemed hung over from last night from the odd smelling daisies. Hermione acted a bit agitated at Ron and after lunch, was nowhere to be seen. Ginny actually seemed quite normal. She wasn't hanging all over any guys or girls for that matter.
"Ginny, you don't seem like yourself," Neville said through his new and improved voice changer.
"I'm angry with Harry!" Ginny whined.
"What'd he do?" Neville asked stupidly. Harry was sitting right there but was too concentrated on 'gillyweed'.
"He just thinks I'm some kind of toy! He's not my pimp! He can't give me to Malfoy in exchange for gillyweed!" Ginny cried, "I have the right to screw whoever I want! He can't tell me who! I can decide for myself!"
"Really?" Neville asked mischievously, "Would you consider-"
"No! Not you!" she whined and stomped off to go hit on a very ugly guy no doubt.
"Fine," Neville said angrily.
"So, Neville," Hermione said as she approached him, "How are you doing?"
"Ok, I guess," Neville sighed.
"Why don't you come with me?" she answered quietly. Neville grinned and followed her out the Great Hall door.
"Where do you suppose they're going?" Ron asked out of the blue.
"What?" Harry asked coming out of his daze.
"Nemonie and Heville?" ron asked stupidly.
"What? You mean Neville and Hermione?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, them," Ron nodded his head.
"I don't know. Let's go find out," Harry said and got up and walked away with Ron stumbling behind him.
"Let's check in here," Ron said as he hobbled toward a closet.
"Ron, I don't think they're playing hide and go seek," Harry said.
"Come out come out wherever you are!" Ron shouted joyously, and drunk as he opened the door.
Harry was taken aback at what he saw. There was Hermione and Neville going at it like rabbits. They hadn't managed to get passed snogging when Ron threw himself at her and thrust Neville aside.
"What are you doing?" Ron shouted at a broom next to Hermione.
"Over here Ronald!" Hermione said sternly.
"Oh, What were you three doing in here?" Ron yelled.
"Three?" Hermione asked confused.
"Don't think I don't know what's going on here! I saw him watching you waiting to jump right in!" Ron shouted as he pointed to the broom.
"Ron!" Hermione screamed angrily.
"What?" Ron asked as he looked at the other side of the closet, "Oh. I'm sorry to interrupt ... proceed."
"Thank you," Hermione said calming down.
"Not you!" he answered.
"Then who are you talking to?" Hermione asked confused.
"The two love birds over there," Ron said quietly pointing.
"I don't see anyone," Neville said.
"Neville! Shut up! Don't talk!" Hermione shouted covering his mouth with her hand. Neville's shoulders shrank.
"The penguins are over there," Ron whispered again. Hermione gave him a serious look but Ron picked both of them up and threw them out of the closet. They landed on the floor. Ron tried to sneak out and closed the door quietly.
"Now! Neville! What are doing with my boyfriend?" Ron asked fiercely.
"What?" Hermione yelled.
"I think he means girlfriend, unless he likes Neville," Harry said.
"Ew! I'm not a skittle and coke lover!" Ron yelled, hiccuping.
"We weren't doing anything." Hermione said rolling her eyes.
"Denial!" Ron shouted, "Is always the first sign."
"Not that it's any of your business!" Neville said his sickeningly annoying voice shaking.
"Oh, do you wanna take this outside?" Ron asked.
"Like I'd fight a PEACH!" Neville shouted.
"Peach!" Ron gasped. He crouched down and patted his muscles, "These queer, huh? These queer?"
Neville replied by attempting to slap Ron but he missed and his arm went all the way around smacking his own face.
"Who did that?" he asked confused.
"If I didn't know any better," Ron slurred, "I'd say that you, Neville Longbottom are a bit tipsy!"
"What?"
"If that is your REAL name," Ron said poking Neville's shoulder.
"Ron," Hermione said grabbing a hold of his shoulders, "I think you may have had one too many wine coolers."
"Vodka, actually." Harry interjected.
"I think YOU may have had too many wine coolers, Hermnionieomnie...you!"
"Leave her alone!" Neville said, "Or else."
"Or else, what?" Ron asked scoffing.
Neville snapped his fingers and Colin Creevey appeared out of nowhere. He came right up to Ron. He was only as tall as Ron's shoulder.
"Where have you been, Colin?" Harry asked.
"Yo, I been up in Juvy. Watch who you be talkin' to, cracker!"
Harry looked taken aback, "Sorry?"
"You betta be sorry!" Colin exclaimed, "You whities think you be runnin err-thing up in dis crib, yo. But you ain't got nothin on me. You so icy, you so icy, I'se gonna cut ya up so bad Potter, you gonna wish dat...wish dat I don't cut you up so bad!"
"And what is this wangster going to do?" Ron asked.
"Wangster?" Colin asked, "You're askin for it, cracker!"
Suddenly, before Ron could even know what was happening, Colin reached into his cloak and pulled out an old ladies' purse and beat Ron repeatedly with it.
"Owwwww!" Ron shrieked like a little baby girl who is a wimp, "Stop it! Oww...stop!"
"RAAAAAAAAAAAWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" Colin shrieked, "I AM A DINOSAUR!"
Colin laughed manically.
"Colin, stop!" Harry commanded lifting him off of Ron.
"Let go of me, you honkey!" Colin yelled biting Harry's arm.
"Colin!" Harry yelled, "For crying out loud, you're not black!"
"That's what the government wants you to think!" Colin said, seeming to calm down a little bit.
Ron stood up shakily. He had big welts forming in the shape of cursive E's from Colin's purse.
Why it had E's on it, no one had any idea.
"Colin..." Ginny said provocatively, "I'm having a party and-"
"Since when are you having a party?" Ron asked.
"Since now!" she yelled, then she turned back to Colin, "So anyways. I'm having a party and I'd like you to come. And I'd also like you to be there."
"Aiight, den, baby girrrl," Colin said in his wangster talk, "Where at?"
"In my shirt!" she said grabbing a hold of Colin and dancing on him like he was a stripper pole coated in galleons.
"What the bloody hell are you freaks doing?" Malfoy asked walking up.
"Don't be hating," Colin said flipping him off.
"He's right, you know," Ginny said licking Colin's hair.
Malfoy looked disgusted and walked off muttering about "dandies" and how they were going to take over the world.
"I ain't no dandy!" Colin yelled, "I'm a straight up G! I just kilt me twelve whities on a fly- by, I got massive air cred yo!"
"Shut up!" Malfoy screamed.
"You just hate me cause I'm black!" Colin shouted back.