"Do not fret, Banner!" Thor declared as he swung open the glass door to Tony's gym and strode inside, "We will soon have you fighting fit!"
Bruce trudged behind his teammate, scuffing his feet along the floor as he entered and taking time to carefully close the door behind him.
"We shall begin with strength, for that is most important in battle, and then we shall move to basic combat skills. I find these Midgardian devices to be most useful in strengthening one's muscles." Thor boomed, striding towards where Tony kept the weights.
Bruce rolled onto the ground as Thor used one hand to lift away the weights he had been trying to get his friend to manage. Lying with his face pressed against the cool floor as Thor casually stepped over him, Bruce contemplated staying there forever.
"Now we shall learn the art of combat, first with a sword, one of the most noble of weapons."
There was a moment of silence, and Bruce slowly opened his eyes to see Thor standing over him, his arm outstretched to haul him to his feet. Sighing, he raised his arm, and had barely touched Thor's hand before he was lifted from the floor and set upright on the ground, his shoulder aching from the sudden strain.
"Here." Thor said, handing him a rough piece of wood cut into the vague shape of a sword. "On Asgard we teach the children to fight with wooden weapons so they cannot injure one another as they practice."
Thor demonstrated by waving the 'sword' in swinging and jabbing motions, all aimed at the bench Bruce had claimed for his belongings, and stopping just short of the water bottle he had borrowed from the kitchen that morning. Eventually Thor's swings got too close, and the bottle tottered on its base, before it fell completely, rolling along the bench on its side, off the edge, and landing on the gym floor with a quiet thud.
"Where'd you get the wood from?" Bruce asked, taking the heavy branch.
"I found a tree outside the door to the tower." he declared proudly.
"You cut the branches off the trees outside?" Bruce asked, his eyes wide with concern.
"I didn't cut the branches, they would not make a good sword, not even a practice one. I cut both of these from the trunk of the tree."
"You cut down a whole tree?" Bruce exclaimed.
"Of course! I think it must have been a sort of vermin tree to have grown in the middle of the pathway like that, so the Midgardians will likely be glad I have removed it."
Bruce opened and closed his mouth several times, but eventually he gave up and shook his head in disbelief.
"So the most important element is to ensure your posture is correct. Stand as I do, with your feet further apart to balance you."
Bruce did his best to copy, repositioning his feet several different ways before he was satisfied that it was as close to what Thor had done as possible.
"You must stand however you feel most balanced Banner, once you bear the heavy weight of armour it becomes difficult to remain upright, and so your stance is of great importance to maintain your balance. This is why our strength training holds such importance too, as you must be able to move your arms under the weight."
"Why not just get better armour?" Bruce muttered under his breath.
"If it were not heavy it would not protect us." Thor replied, taking Bruce's remark as a genuine question. "Now. Let us begin."
Taking a deep breath, Bruce stared at the ceiling and forced the heavy weight upwards from his chest. His arms began to shake and he could hear only the rushing noise of the blood pumping in his ears, but he clenched his jaw and held on.
"Keeping on going even after Thor's left? You must be keen..." a feminine voice drifted into his ears over the sound of his frantic heartbeat. Carefully setting it down, Bruce slid downward, underneath the bar, and landed in a crumpled, sweaty heap at Natasha's feet.
"Tired?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"Like you wouldn't believe." he replied, dragging the words as though he was barely awake. She laughed gently, and he hauled himself to his feet. Holding his aching arms stiffly by his sides, Bruce waddled his weary body towards the bench with his towel on it.
"I don't understand." Natasha observed, "What's the point in forcing yourself to lift weights when the other guy could lift ten times as much without thinking about it?"
"You really don't get it, do you?" Bruce accused, collapsing onto the bench and scrubbing the towel across his forehead. "This is about being more than him. More than that."
After a moment's pause, Natasha quietly sat down beside him, reached down, and lifted Bruce's plastic water bottle from the floor beneath the bench.
"Didn't know you were such a supporter of Stark Industries." she said, turning the bottle so he could see the bright red lettering on the side.
"Only one I could find in the kitchen." he said, a small smile tugged at the edge of his mouth as she offered it to him.
"I do know that you want to be more than the other guy," she offered as he took the bottle, "but I thought this was about making Bruce Banner into someone who's useful in his own way, not about turning him into a less green Hulk?"
Bruce took a sip from the bottle as he contemplated her words.
"I knew this wasn't really my style." he conceded. "I'm never gonna be built like Thor anyway."
"Well, we weren't gonna tell you…" Natasha teased and Bruce chuckled.
"It was a stupid idea all along, I shouldn't have wasted Thor's time with this, not to mention that tree…"
"No, it wasn't." Natasha said firmly. "You just need to find something that does suit you. Why don't you see if Stark has something more your style?"
She tilted her head towards the water bottle and Bruce nodded slowly in response.
"I guess I could give it a go, see if Tony has anything I could use."
"Good." Natasha smiled, "We'll find you something to do yet, Doctor."
Bruce opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by Tony's voice blaring over the speaker system.
"Right guys, the NYPD are here, who's going round cutting down trees?"
AN: Hope everyone had a better weekend than Bruce! Come back tomorrow to see if Monday gets any better for him :)