1Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Twilight, but I own all the other crazy stuff p

A/n - My sis wants to thank everybody for the great reviews.

Umm sry if this chapter isnt really as great as the second.

Chapter Two

BPOV

I was so depressed by the loss of my first child, that I started to drink lots and lots of vodkas. Once I drank a 10000000000 oz. Can in two milliseconds. Aaron Carter must have been afraid, because he committed suicide. So that made me even more depressed. Until I met Mr. Rogers, another alcoholic. But one day, some guy named Samurai Jack recruited us to AA (Alcoholics anonymous.) There I met some freak named Virgin Mary, But he was convinced his name was Gerard Way, even though it wasn't. So then Gerard started singing and dancing in front of the whole group of alcoholics...yea he must be suicidal.

Then we all had introduce ourselves. I was introduced to some guy who looked like he had a rhinoceros for a head named Danny Tanner. So then Gerard was cracking up at Danny's unusual shaped head and Danny lunged at him and bit every single one of Gerard's fingers off. Gerard ran from the room screaming "I'M NOT OK I PROMISE!" Danny ran after him, and you heard a couple of screams and shrieks and then Danny walked in with blood all over his face. Then he resumed his position sitting next to his boyfriend Paula Abdul. Paula stood up and cleared HIS throat. "My darling Dannykins and I started a band called Simple plan and you are all not invited to our concerts! YAY!" He jumped up and down and clapped his hands squealing for joy. All these freaks made me never want to drink again, so I walked out of the room and said "KACHOAH! I'M FREE!" But it made me angered that my dear Mr. Roger's was still stuck in the horrible place. Then I felt my beak growing in and I had one sudden impulse– to eat Edwards ear!

Edward happened to be at Wendy's standing in line behind Drake Bell who was holding a knife in his hands. He then walked into the kitchen. Drake took the knife and started to saw at his arm. Then after t was totally disconnected from his body, he threw it in the Chili, and started handing out free bowls of Chili to everybody. Since everybody was distracted by this, I walked up behind Edward and tore his earlobe off.

"GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Edward screamed as I happily munched on his ear.

"YUMMMMM!" I said as I reached to bite the other ear. But then Superman came and swept me off of my feet. "Lois Lane will you marry me?" He asked in front of the Wendy's customers. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Drake Bell screamed. "WHAT HAPPENED TO US SUPERMAN? WHAT HAPPENED TO US?" Suddenly, Superman morphed into Katie Holmes. "We were over two years ago if I remember correctly." Katie said smartly. She was still hold me in her arms. Drake's face turned pale as he realized Superman was Katie Holmes this entire time. As I was about the reject Katie, everything was disrupted when Peewee Herman ran up to Drake and started kissing him. It was so weird! So Drake and Peewee left Wendy's hand in hand with a just married banner trailing on the train of Drake's wedding dress. As those two left, Carlisle walked in looking concerned towards Edward. He had the most concerned look on his face, and started to bite his nails. Then he took a pinwheel out of his pocket, blew on it, and copied it circular motion.

A/n- Ok I have to admit, my 5 year old sister didnt think of this all by herself... we sorta... edited it... but the story is my sisters. R&R And we will write mroe soon