A/N: Oh! You're still reading, huh? Well, this was my favorite chapter to write. Originally, it was supposed to be two seperate chapters, but the prologue was so darn short. . . well, let's just say I couldn't bring myself to do it to my readers. You deserve better. Now don't you love me? I brought in the Kenshin-gumi and more! YAY! Let the torture begin for your favorite characters.

Disclaimer: Oh. . . yeah. Well, my day was going great. I don't own the red-headed retired manslayer and his group of misfits of society or much else for that matter, but I have my pride. . . . sigh. . . .my lawyer has just informed me that I no longer own that as well. . . . sniff. . . . I need a pixy stick. . . .

Chapter 1

Koi Catastrophe

After hanging the laundry to dry, our favorite red-head decided for once to just relax. He was the only one home today and soaked in the sweet and melodious sound of silence. Aaaww. Felt good.

Next he decided to take in the smells. . . Oh yeah. Kaoru cooked last night. Let's try something else.

Violet eyes took in every detail of the dojo yard. The green grass soothingly danced with the breeze. The butterflies flipped from flower to flower with seemingly no effort. The belly-up koi in the sparkling pond. . .

"Oro!"

Kenshin raced to the pond's edge. The other three finned little swimmers were energetically doing just that, but the fish that had caught Kenshin's attention in the first place remained motionless, tummy to the sky. At first there was panic, but like most skilled martial artists of his day, our Kenshin was logical. If innocent until proven guilty, then alive until proven dead, right?

Kenshin poked the exposed belly with a nearby twig. Nothing.

Either this one had recently been introduced to Sanosuke's new blend of sake. . . Kenshin quickly shook his head. Both in remembrance of when he had his first initiation drink of the potent liquid, and because he knew he was becoming desperate for excuses.

Kenshin gave a sigh of defeat and, with the use of the twig, turned the fish over to identify the corpse.

"Oh, Albert. . ."

You could always tell Albert by the little red dot on the top of his head. How could this happen? Why did Albert die? He was Kaoru's favorite.

Kaoru had told him to feed the koi an hour ago, but surely a little tardiness couldn't result in this. Besides, if that were the case, the other fish would've died too. It must have been some other reason.

With these thoughts in mind, Kenshin walked over to the cupboard where Kaoru stored the koi's food. It may be too late for one, but there were still three puckering mouths to feed. As the ex-hitokiri was reaching in for the little pellets, a slip of paper caught his attention. He plucked the paper from the cupboard and began scanning the characters quickly scrawled across it.

The rurouni's complexion turned deathly pale and his eyes widened to an unbelievable width. All thoughts of this whole mess not being his fault just jumped off the nearest cliff with a loud and clear "Jeranimoh!" And he was tempted to join them.

"Kami-sama," Kenshin strained. "She's going to kill me."

-

Aoshi Shinomori walked peacefully through his Zen garden, free of distractions as it should be. The former Okashira closed his eyes softly and listened to the distant bluebirds sing their beautiful lovesongs. The fresh spring breeze even played with the loose strands of his dark hair, making it dance along with loose folds of his yukata.

Yep. Silence.

Ploop.

Aoshi twitched slightly at the new and unwelcome sound that disturbed his balance, his chi.

Ploop. Ploop.

Ironically enough, the sound was close. Aoshi looked down and to his right. Right into the koi pond.

The koi Okina kept were huge and ancient. Unfortunately for Aoshi, so were their groping mouths. The huge puckering openings broke the surface of the water, making that sound. Aoshi raised a skeptical eyebrow as he could swear that the scaled beings were expecting him to do something.

"Would you like to help me feed the koi, Aoshi."

The former Okashira turned to face a beaming Okina, a bag of pellets in his hand. Before Aoshi could politely decline, however, the cheerful old man placed a portion of the food in his hand and turned to feed the eager mouths. Aoshi observed Okina intently, still keeping a firm grip on the pellets he had received.

"You know, Aoshi," Okina said in between feedings. "Keeping your emotions pent up like this isn't healthy for you. I understand your meditation doesn't leave much time for social engagements, but you need some sort of outlet."

"What are you getting at?" Aoshi asked bluntly.

"Well," Okina faltered at first, thinking of a solution. "If you don't feel comfortable talking about your emotions to the people around you, then, as silly as it may sound, try an inanimate object. Anything to-"

"No."

"Huh?"

Aoshi turned his back on the old man and continued. "I only hold meaningful conversations. Which is why this one has ended."

Okina heaved a defeated sigh and wiped the remaining crumbs off of his hands before walking away, but not before mumbling something about strange blue koi food. . .

Aoshi harrumphed. The very idea! He still had his dignity after all. The last thing he needed was the Battousai walking in on him crying to a teddy bear named Binky-san because he was still working through the emotional trauma of never reaching his goal of becoming the strongest fighter in Japan. . . . . .which he wasn't.

"Stupid . . .mumble . . . Battousai. If we would've fought in the revolution . . . mumble. . .grumble . . ." Aoshi forced between gritted teeth.

"What would've happened if you had fought in the revolution?"

Aoshi blinked at the unexpected voice added to the conversation he was having with himself. He quickly searched the grounds to find them empty, except for Misao practicing her Kunai in the distance, but she was too far away. Perhaps if he heard the voice again. . .

"The Oniwabanshu would have started a grand fire in Tokyo, destroying the central government and assuring us victory and the title of the strongest!" Aoshi may have gotten a little passionate with his words, but the voice did respond.

". . . . Uh-huh. . . What's a fire?"

"A fire is-" Realization hit our former Okashira like a sledgehammer as his ears guided him to the trickling of water at his feet. Oh yes. Aoshi Shinomori was holding a conversation with a huge multi-colored koi. At this discovery, Aoshi very much resembled his scaled companion, for his mouth hung wide open for the world to see.

"Oh, how rude of me," the koi continued after the long silence. "We haven't been formerly introduced. My name is Anzen. . ."

At this point, Aoshi was teetering on the very edge of his sanity, just waiting for something to give him the extra push needed to send him sailing into the depths of madness.

". . . But you can call me Binky-san."

And so came the mental shove into insanity.

-

Misao focused every one of her senses on the straw dummy, kunai ready. The teenager's body coiled, ready to release the energy on a moments notice. Then, all at once she leaped into the air.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Kunai went everywhere except the intended target. As Misao landed and tried to keep her heart within the confines of her chest, she immediately searched for the owner of that high pitched squeal. It had to be female.

"Omasu!" Misao called out.

The summoned female ninja appeared with a scowl. "I hope you're happy!" she yelled, holding out a kunai-skewered chicken on a platter. "That was today's special order!" Omasu slammed the shoji behind her.

"Ochika!" Misao called out once more.

Again, a sour face poked out from behind a shoji. "You and your accursed kunai!" came the upset tone.

"What did I hit this time?"

"The rump of all things!" came the reply.

"Heh heh. Sorry about the food," Misao apologized as she bowed slightly.

"Who said anything about food!" The shoji slammed shut again, leaving a very disturbed and wide-eyed Misao.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

There it was again. Misao turned to her left. The ninja girl had to rub her eyes hard to make sure she was seeing correctly. Right there, in the Zen garden before her very eyes, her Aoshi-sama was running around in tight circles with his arms flailing in the air, blue pellets raining, and his insane screams somewhat akin to that of a schoolgirl on helium.

Misao's shoulder's slumped. Perhaps meditation fried one too many brain cells in the poor man's noggin. Or maybe there's something in that tea he drinks. . .

-

A/N: Again, I fully enjoyed writing this chapter. Especially Aoshi's little number. Poor Aoshi. I torture him so. I'm not sure when to bring my original characters back in, but they have to come back, it's part of the storyline. Oh well. I just do whatever the sugar tells me to do. Please review! Or. . . or. . . .I'll sic Binky-san on you. Aoshi: "Aaaaaahhhhh!" 0.0

Japanese Terms:

Rurouni - wanderer (roughly)
Sake - Japanese rice wine
Okashira - Title given to the leader of the Oniwabanshu.
Kunai - Those little dagger thingies that Misao always chucks around.
Shoji - Japanese rice paper screens that slide open and closed.
Kami-sama - God.
-san - Honorific that means Mr.
-sama - Honorific that, in this case, was translated into Lord. Higher than -san.
Hitokiri - Manslayer
Oro - Kenshin's trademark exclamation.