A bit random, but I enjoyed writing this. For Day 2- Complications.
"Aang, I think I've changed my mind. I don't think I can do this."
He glanced back at her, silhouetted in the dying sunlight, and offered her a comforting smile. "Come on, Katara. How many times have you flown on Appa?"
"This is different and you know it!" she protested, hovering on the edge of the cliff. She felt just like she had at the other air temples they had visited: anxious and unsettled. Being so high in the air didn't bother her so much anymore thanks to their constant use of Appa, but being so close to the edge of nothing like this unnerved her. She started to take a step back.
And froze when Aang caught her hand. Her own felt cool and clammy in his warm one, and a little tingle shot through her as he curled his fingers around hers.
"Katara, just trust me. I wouldn't ever let you fall."
She smiled shyly, feeling a blush rise to her cheeks. "Okay. I trust you."
With a slight shake, the wings of his glider slid out, and Aang positioned himself on it before tugging her in closer to him. Her blush deepened as his hand fell to her waist and brought her nearly flush against him. She didn't think they had ever been this close…not even when he had kissed her at the invasion. The memory of the kiss made Katara brush her fingers unconsciously against her lips.
"Are you ready?" he asked. At her slow nod, he grinned. "Hold on to me."
She curled her own arm around his waist and couldn't help squeezing her eyes shut as he leapt away from the crumbling temple and took to the open air. The familiar swooping sensation in her gut was unpleasant, and she must have stiffened a little because Aang's grip tightened on her waist.
"Katara, open your eyes," he coaxed, and she could hear the smile in his voice. "I've got you, I promise."
After a moment, Katara did open her eyes – and gasped.
Even through the thick layers of fog they were flying over, the steep mountains were still plainly visible, spreading out over the land as far as she could see. In the light of the sunset, they were bathed in shades of orange and blue. They looked very far away, and Katara felt miniscule as she gazed at them, but while she was held so tightly against Aang's body, she was feeling less afraid by the moment. She was struck by the thought that long ago, hundreds of airbenders probably filled these skies every day, moving in between bands of fading light. This was probably where Aang felt most comfortable: in places like this, that reminded him of home.
"Still scared?" he asked, and she turned her head to find his face so close to hers that a slight shift would bump their noses together.
"No…I think I'm okay now," she said, tightening her grip on him a little. Aang beamed in response.
As they flew, Katara remembered what it felt like to let the wind carry her. She'd done it once before, at their visit to the Northern Air Temple, but that had happened so long ago now that she had forgotten the sensation. Flying with Aang was slightly different than flying the contraption Teo had given her, because Aang could control the air currents himself. Their ride was smooth and steady, which she knew he was doing for her sake. She was amazed at how easily he could control his bending without even moving his hands.
The sun was starting to sink below the horizon as Aang brought them in for a landing on one of the mountains that faced the Western Temple. Katara couldn't help feeling a little relieved when her feet touched the ground again, even though she had enjoyed the ride. He caught the look on her face and smiled gently. She smiled back without a second thought.
"It's nice to see you smiling again," he said, surprising her.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you haven't done it much since Zuko showed up."
A scowl darkened her features. "Yeah, because I still don't trust him."
Aang sighed. "There's something different about him. I'm not saying I absolutely trust him, either…but he seems very earnest about trying to help us."
Katara crossed her arms, turning away from him a little. "Did we come out here to talk about Zuko?"
"No," he replied, almost cautiously. She heard him shift his feet a little against the rocky ground. "I wanted to talk to you about something else."
"What is it?" she asked, sliding her eyes over to him without turning her head.
Aang hesitated for a moment. "I wanted to talk about what happened at the invasion."
Katara froze, her heart leaping uncomfortably in her throat. She tried to swallow around it, pushing down the sudden onslaught of nerves. The worst part of this was, there was nowhere for her to escape to. He had isolated her, and she could no longer run away.
He didn't have to say anything more for her to know that he was talking about the kiss. It had been several weeks since the invasion, and this wasn't the first time that Aang had tried to confront her about what had happened. In fact, he had tried just the other day, while she was outside the temple working on her waterbending. She had skirted the topic and used the first excuse she could come up with to put some distance between them, and she knew he had been hurt without turning back to look at his face. It made her feel guilty, but her anxiety and uncertainty about the subject had outweighed her guilt by far. It was just easier to avoid it altogether.
"I-I don't know what you mean," she started, and immediately wanted to kick herself for saying something so stupid.
"Yes you do, Katara," said Aang firmly, and she felt like his eyes were burning holes in the back of her head. "I kissed you. And you kissed me back. I thought…I thought it meant…"
"Thought it meant what?" she asked quietly, peeking at him through her hair.
"I thought it meant we were going to be together," he admitted, his eyes falling to his shoes.
She bit her lip. The thought of being together with Aang in the way that he implied made her heart flutter in her chest. She loved him – she knew this now, had known it since the day Azula's lightning had struck him down – but she hadn't told him. When he had kissed her, she had been surprised, but not too surprised to kiss him back. She had been sure of her feelings for a long time, but instead of acting on them like he had, she had let them fester inside of her.
And she wasn't going to tell him about them.
"We can't be together," she said, her voice so soft that she barely heard it herself. Somehow, Aang caught every word. His face crumbled, and he stared at her brokenly. Katara closed her eyes briefly, not wanting to see it.
"Why not?"
"Because, I…I'm just not sure, Aang." She curled her fingers anxiously into her hair, feeling like she just needed something to do with her hands. "Okay? This isn't the time to be talking about this."
"I don't see what time could possibly be better," he said adamantly, taking a few steps toward her.
She immediately whirled on him, her pent-up emotions getting the best of her. "Gee, I don't know, Aang. Maybe after you defeat the firelord? You know, that big, important thing that's only a few weeks away?"
He looked like she had struck him. The color drained out of his face, and his eyes filled with hurt. Katara immediately tried to backpedal.
"Aang…I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"
"No…maybe you're right." He cut her off before she could properly string her words together. "Maybe the guru was right, too…maybe I should have let you go. I'm the Avatar, and my duty is to the world first."
Katara's breath caught in her throat. What was he talking about? "You mean the guru who taught you to master the Avatar State?"
Aang nodded woodenly. "I never mastered it. I couldn't open the last chakra. And because of that…I can't even go into the Avatar State anymore."
She nodded; this was something he'd told them about before, but he had never really gone into much detail. "Why couldn't you open the last chakra?" she asked gently. Katara wasn't even sure what a chakra was, but she imagined it had something to do with the energy used to control the Avatar State.
"Because," he replied, with a heavy sigh, "I couldn't let you go."
Confusion drew her eyebrows together. "What do you mean? What do I have to do with anything?"
"Everything, Katara," said Aang, sounding frustrated. "The last chakra is blocked by earthly attachment. You're the one who attaches me to this world. The guru told me unless I let you go, I couldn't allow the cosmic energy to flow through my body."
Her cheeks felt hot again. Unable to look at him any longer, Katara's eyes dropped to her feet. "You…couldn't master the Avatar State because of me?"
"I had a vision that you were in trouble, so I left to help you," Aang explained. "That's why the chakra was locked. I couldn't just ignore you…"
She swallowed hard. "And now you're saying that…you should have let me go."
The bitterness she could hear in her own voice filled her with shame. It was her fault that Aang couldn't go into the Avatar State – a defense that had helped them out of some major binds in the past, and would surely be helpful in the future – but the selfish part of her was happy that he hadn't been able to let her go. What would that have meant? Would he have stopped caring about her altogether? Would he even still be her friend? The possibility of losing him to some stupid cosmic energy made her feel lost and empty inside. Even though she couldn't tell him how she felt…she couldn't stand the idea of him not feeling the same way.
After a moment, Aang nodded. "Being the Avatar is about putting the needs of the world before your own needs. That's what the guru was trying to teach me…I just couldn't listen. So yes…I should have let you go."
Katara closed her eyes and fought back the tears that suddenly swam up behind her eyelids.
"But," Aang continued softly, "I can't. Even now, I can't. So I won't."
She looked up at him again, blinking the tears away. He was watching her sadly, longingly, and suddenly the space between them was painful to her. She wanted to close the distance and fold him up in her arms and never let go. But something rooted her feet to the spot.
"I'll fight the firelord without the Avatar State," he said. "For you, Katara."
A brief silence fell over them. Katara took deep breaths, forcing her emotions back down her throat, and made sure that her voice was going to be steady before she spoke. "I don't want you to let me go."
Something in him seemed to break at her words. "I never will."
"Good," she sniffed. "Because I'd hate to make you think you made the wrong choice."
He was just starting to smile again when she crossed the space between them and met it with a kiss.
