It had been a few hours since the whole crying fiasco, Adam still hadn't try to ask I think he got the hint I wasn't ready to talk about it. We watched movies,listened to music, talked about his life but nothing touched about why I was crying just how I liked it for the time being. Now it was four am though and Adam was laying next to me in my bed sound asleep, I turned to face him he looked relieved like I had put him through so much watching me cry like that. I kind of hated myself for it but him being angry with me I couldn't help it, I knew I hurt him by not talking to him but I couldn't talk to anyone and I dreaded facing Eli most what would I say to him? Could I kiss him again? Had I cheated on him in some weird way? All these things plagued my mind, I couldn't sleep but I wanted to so I closed my eyes. It was worth a try.

"Please..don't" I mumbled underneath him as he touched me, the tears stung my eyes and I wanted out,so badly. He only pulled away for a second to look at me he removed one of his hand to move a piece of my curly hair from my eyes. This is my chance I thought to get away from him I shoved hard breaking free for a second but he growled and slammed me back down hard.

"Clare I was going to do this nicely..but you just crossed the line" he snarled and I whimpered dammit why was no one walking by. Why wasn't his mother wondering where he was? Oh right because she knew I was responsible and wouldn't let him get into trouble. Dammit someone help me, please anyone walk by, save me, that was all going through my mind over and over as touched me.

I tried to close my eyes just let him do what he wanted and then I could just pretend nothing happened but every time I closed my eyes he'd slap my face. He knew what I was doing, we grew up together he knew me too well. I hated my self for wearing a dress today but my grandma liked seeing dresses on me, so I wore them whenever I was staying with her. She thought it made me look like a little lady, well this little lady just gave this guy easy access.

"Stop thinking..and enjoy" he growled in my ear and I glared fighting against him yet again. Enjoy? How was I going to enjoy this, I didn't want this. I wanted to be at home in my bed with Eli holding me and not saying a word just being there. I wanted him to kiss my forehead and tell me how saying I love you never gets old for him, how it still feels the same every time. God if you have all the power, why aren't you helping me now? Why is Chris on top of me ravishing me and making me feel like some whore..My mother told me following and believing in Jesus would bring good thing to my life, tell me how this is a good thing?

"Please..Ow..No" I cried as he continued not showing me any mercy,he didn't care how much this hurt me. The more I cried the more it seemed to please him ,set him off if you will and when I stopped crying he'd grab my throat so I'd start up again. He was so vile how could I have not known? It seemed like forever had gone by before he was done. He smirked at me and still keeping my pinned as he spoke and I shuddered hearing his voice.

"You know you can't tell anyone, they wouldn't believe you and besides I know you have too much pride to admit it happened" He smirked satisfied he knew he was right. Even I did I wasn't going to tell my mother her other daughter had suffered the same fate as her first and I didn't know how things would be with Eli or Adam if I told them, he was right he had me caught.

"But you know Clare what I said was true you really are so pretty, and the best part" he chortled and looked at me before continuing "Every time you're in bed with Eli now or just in bed at all you'll be thinking of me because I got there first" I closed my eyes and more tears stung my eyes god how I loathed him, wasn't what he just did enough? Did he have to taunt me too?

He got off me and adjusted himself and pulled my dress down helping me up. I glared at him with so much hatred he reached over and slapped me. I put my hand to my cheek and more tears fell what the hell did I do now? "Don't look at me like that, you asked for it your a damn tease Clare, you wanted it just as much as I did, I just took the initiative" He grabbed my hand and I tired to pull back but he gripped it tight and examined the ring on my finger,not my purity but my promise ring. The one Eli gave me when I had returned home from Italy.

"You know that ring means nothing now Clare, tell me something where was Eli now? Was he here keeping his promise to keep you safe? " And with those words he rolled his eyes at me and walked away.

"Bastard" was all I could breathe out before collapsing back on the floor to cry.

I felt someone shaking me and tears on my actual face I struggled against who was holding me "No, not again!" I yelled eyes still shut tight and reached forward and slapped who was in front of me still kicking and fighting against their grip. "Beautiful,PFFL, best friend, Clare its a bad dream stop it" I opened my eyes to look and see Adam his cheek was red from where I had slapped him but he was looking at me with such concern. I sat up and touched his cheek "I'm so sorry" I whispered and Adam shook it off.

"Clare, I think its time you tell me" he whispered back and looked at me I sighed shaking my head. How was I going to tell him this? But I knew he was serious this time and I had just slapped him, it was kind of the least I could do. I took a deep breath and I began, I told him everything I could that wouldn't make me want to curl up into a ball and cry. I tried to keep the words simple, the explanation just enough because I knew Adam would make a big deal out of this and I couldn't handle that, maybe it really wasn't a big deal.

When I finished the look in Adams eyes spoke otherwise they weren't angry like before and hurt. They were vengeful the kind of look I only saw Adam give Fitz, but worse they were filled with a pure hatred its like I wasn't even looking at my Adam, my best friend but someone else entirely.

"Hes dead..where does he live Clare..I'll get Eli and we'll kill him" his voice was seething it sounded like acid was dripping from his words. But those last words caught me off guard, Eli? Oh no.

"Adam no! Eli doesn't know.." my eyes filled back up with tears thinking of Eli, my Elijah I could see his emerald eyes now and I thought about him the last time we were here before I left.

My hand was placed gently on his cheek and our other hand with fingers intertwined. There was nothing being said there didn't need to be we just looked at each other, or laid with our eyes closed. The only sound was our steady breathing, it even seemed to be in sync,like we had our own rhythm. That was how things always were with Eli, we were connected in a way I didn't connect with another person. Everything about him I loved, even when he was pissing me off I actually sort of loved him more. We were both so stubborn we could fight over something stupid and not talk for two days but then when we were together again it was like nothing was ever wrong.

"I love you Clare" he said in a low whisper and I rested my forehead against his and smiled.

"I love you too, Elijah"

"Never gets old" he chuckled softly.

"Clare Faith Edwards!" Adam yelled and I jumped back looking up at him.

"What do you mean Eli doesn't know? Out of everyone he deserves to know the most" Adam was yelling again and I covered my ears I didn't want to deal with the yelling, this is what I was afraid of.

He moved my hands and held them before speaking again "Clare do you not know what this guy did? He deserves this it isn't something you can just make go away, like I know you want to. He took your innocence Clare..something I know was important to you. How can you sit there and not be wanting the world to go after him?"

My heart was pounding hard against my chest and I just looked at Adam bursting into another set of tears not really knowing what else to do. Didn't he know how hard it was to just tell him? How was I supposed to tell Eli the guy I loved, the one I wanted to be my first when that time came? There wasn't a way to tell him this. I could feel myself trembling in Adam's grip, I jerked my hands away and got up from the bed moving away from him.

"Clare.." was all Adam could say and he looked at me, he knew me too well.

I was too quick for him though and I was already hitting the wall dead on over and over, I could feel my hands bruising and the blood already seeping. I wondered why my mother couldn't hear this but then I remembered she was staying at my aunts, again. I think Adam had become frozen for a moment or time seemed to be going slow because I had hit the wall at least fifteen times before I felt his arms around me and holding my hands in his.

"Clare..Sh..Its okay...Okay we can tell Eli when you are ready..please Clare. You are scaring me so much right now" his voice was cracking again, like it was earlier. I could feel my knees getting weak and I just collapsed back against him and more tears, I couldn't stop them. Why did I tell him? Why was I going through this? Why,Why ,Why?

"I'm sorry..." was all I could say and Adam shook his head. He brought me back over to my bed and got up, walking into the hallway. A few seconds later he came back with the first aid kit, there was only silence as he cleaned my hands and wrapped them. I laid back on the bed and he sat against the headboard behind my rubbing my back gently,it was comforting and it made me want to sleep but I feared it now. I didn't want another dream like the one I just had, I wanted my old dreams back and I knew Adam wanted his old Clare back. Not this screwed up one, not the one that was crying when she should just accept the fact she was now a whore, a harlot something her mother had warned her about becoming. She was sure he wanted the Clare that fixed everything and gave him a hard time about cursing, the one the cleaned his room for him, the one that kept him up talking about what Eli did to frustrate her that day, not this Clare..not this whore.

(Adam)

"I think you should go back to sleep Clare" I spoke softly but when I looked down she was already back asleep. I sighed slightly relieved watching her sleep it seemed much more peaceful this time. She still didn't look like Clare though, even just laying the change in her was evident. She wasn't the Clare I knew and I still loved her, hell I always would she was one of the few people to accept me, for me without any hesitation. I couldn't stand this and I couldn't sleep either, I didn't want another nightmare to form and me not be able to stop it in time.

I kept my hand rubbing her back and I glanced at the clock it was seven am now, the light would've been coming through the windows but out of fear I think Clare had shut the blinds tight to her room, because not a stitch of light was seeping through. My best friend had gone through something so horrible and I felt so helpless, I didn't know what to say to her or how to make this okay. All you can do is be there for her Adam, that's all and help her through this, just like she would do for you. I closed my eyes with a slight yawn and before my head hit the pillow I was asleep.

The buzzing was loud in my ear, it kind of sounded like bee being up close, I groaned opening my eyes and saw Clare's phone ringing. It was the only light in here still, I looked down at her she was still sound asleep, thank god. I reached over and picked up the phone flipping it open, I wanted to get them to go away so I could back to sleep until Clare woke up.

"Hello?" I whispered into the phone.

"Adam?" It was Eli, Crap I should hang up right now or tell him wrong number, Clare was going to be pissed I answered. I'm sure she had been avoiding him like the plague too.

"Uh..." Was all I could get out and waited for him to say something.

"Adam is Clare asleep?" He asked.

"Uh...what time is it?" I asked trying to dodge his questions as much as possible.

"Ten-thirty, why?"

"No reason, Well Eli it was nice talking to you but..." I really had nothing else to say to him.

"Adam, shut up. Why is Clare not talking to me?" He sounded kind of hurt,okay he sounded just as hurt as I did. Except now I was even more hurt but for Clare not because she hated me like I initially thought.

"Because...you smell like fish?" I slapped my hand to my forehead and then looked over at Clare she shifted slightly and I could tell was getting ready to wake up.

"Adam.."

"I have to go, if you want to know so bad just come over or something...talk to her yourself" I spoke too fast to change the words. Oh god Clare was going to kill me but he needed to know and I was doing a really bad job at hiding this, even though normally I could lie to Eli decently but in this situation, I just couldn't.

"I'm doing something now, Morty isn't working right but I'll be there this afternoon..Don't let her go anywhere" he hung up and I held the phone in my hand shaking my head. Oh Clare I hoped I was doing right by you, you need Eli right now too. I know you think you're strong and you can do this on your own or with just me but you can't. I sighed looking back at her once more, where was my best friend? I wanted to see her so badly, see her happy again.