Starfleet, exobiology, and the enigmatic Kathryn Janeway were constants in Alison's life after their service together on the Al-Batani's five year mission. Advanced studies in exobiology, several survey missions and a teaching position at the Academy shaped Alison's career. Her exceptional skills in comparative exobiology attracted the attention of not only Academy faculty staff, but Starfleet as a whole, and she was offered a joint position with the Academy and Starfleet Sciences Division.
And Kathryn... dedicated, ambitious, beautiful and alluring. The aspiring young leader, accepted into the command program, rose quickly through the ranks. And in recognition of her leadership skills was given her first command on the USS Billings. Kathryn's goal of one day being the captain of her own starship was one step closer.
As the careers of two of Starfleet's rising stars flourished, so did their friendship. It had grown deeper while on the Al-Batani, and over the intervening years, missions and proximity permitting, they were lovers. In their personal lives, free from the protocol and structured life of Starfleet, they shared fleeting moments of passion and time in each other's company. Alison fell hard for Kathryn, hiding nothing of her feelings, and Kathryn returned her affections.
However, as their relationship was about to solidify and become more serious, the intricacies of the heart become infinitely more complicated for Kathryn when she met a civilian named Mark. Kathryn's attraction to women and men did not come as a surprise to Alison, as they had talked about it in their Academy days. But this was different, she was one of Kathryn's lovers. Initially, Alison felt a pang of jealousy, already having a place in Kathryn's heart, then she quietly accepted it. She believed she had no right to dictate who Kathryn was attracted to. She was content to share a part of Kathryn's life, and bed.
Dating multiple people at once had never bothered Kathryn before, but this time she was in love with her two partners. As she divided her time and attention between Alison and Mark, she began to feel torn between them and felt that her divided affections were doing them both a disservice. She wondered what effect it could have on her career.
Her service to Starfleet was such an integral part of her life and she didn't want to jeopardise that. Would two partners, and potentially one day, a wife and a husband, be detrimental to her career and progression? Laws may have changed in the mid-24th century, but being married to two people was still not readily accepted. She could not let anything rob her of her goal of being a captain and this, disconcertingly, compelled her to choose between Alison and Mark.
Contrary to her usual decisiveness, Kathryn struggled with the decision. How could she choose? Why was the little voice in her head so insistent on making a choice? Perhaps her career would recover if she continued seeing them both, but was that a long shot? She desperately wanted them both in her life.
Mark, intelligent, attentive, supportive and devastatingly handsome. And Alison, intelligent, stunningly beautiful, fiercely loyal, her companion through the rigours of life in Starfleet, and her oldest and most dearest friend. And Alison knew her inside and out. Kathryn hated the fact that she would hurt one of them when she came to her decision.
Months passed. Then one day, while reminiscing with a colleague about her time at the Academy, she reluctantly realised who she must choose. Alison had been a constant in her life since her Academy days and they had shared those experiences together. She didn't want to jeopardise their friendship and reasoned that she would prefer to have Alison as a friend than chance, even the merest possibility, of loosing Alison from her life forever if their relationship failed.
And so the day came when Kathryn planned to tell Alison of her decision. Having just returned to Earth from a mission, she wanted to put an end to her dilemma as soon as possible. As she approached Alison's office at the Academy she felt a knot in her stomach, dreading the consequences of her words. Taking charge of her emotions she switched on her command persona and walked into a situation and conversation that she knew would break Alison's heart.
The affection and enthusiasm on Alison's face upon seeing her cut through Kathryn's tough exterior like a phaser. She took a deep breath, quelled the guilt tightening her stomach, and asked Alison if she wanted to join her for a walk in the gardens.
Sitting under a spreading maple tree, Alison heard the words coming from Kathryn's mouth, but only barely. Shock and devastation engulfed her and she tried to keep her tears at bay. Grappling with the brutal reality of Kathryn's revelation, Alison felt a tightening sensation in her chest. Why did Kathryn have to choose, she wondered. Why couldn't it be her? The little voice inside her head was screaming this question, yet she remained silent.
There was nothing she could do to change Kathryn's mind, she knew that. She was not bitter nor angry, simply stunned and heartbroken. A long hug, which deepened Alison's heartache, ended the conversation and Kathryn stood to leave. Their eyes met for a moment and Kathryn mouthed 'I'm sorry,' as she turned to walk away. Somehow, Alison thought, she needed to compose herself to present a lecture to third year students in under an hour.
Trying to pull the pieces of her shattered heart back together, Alison threw herself into her work. She didn't contact Kathryn, although she desperately wanted to. She knew separation would help her heal. She cultivated a professional relationship with a scientist at the Vulcan Science Academy culminating in a series of guest lectures, a six month stint as a visiting academic and an offer of a full time teaching position for five years. She relished the opportunity of teaching amongst eminent scientists and immersing herself in a structured, emotionless existence.
Kathryn too let the months roll by without a comm message. She gave Alison time to process the end of their romantic relationship, and she was extremely reluctant for Alison to learn of her recent news. Mark and herself had become engaged, and she was so happy.
Alison and Kathryn met once more in the flesh before self preservation and space separated them for ten years. Alison had returned to Earth from Vulcan to finalise the details of her departure from Starfleet Academy and put her apartment up for rent.
On the same day she heard the news of Kathryn's engagement. A friend of a friend had accidentally blurted it out when she unexpectedly ran in to Alison at the Academy.
The news left Alison feeling a little numb, but she was determined not to let it overshadow the next step in her career. She wondered whether to congratulate Kathryn or simply leave it. She decided to seek Kathryn out, if she was in town, and take control of the 'situation.' It would give her a chance to steady her heart and emotions and bring closure to their relationship. This was the end.
It was to be a brief meeting as Kathryn had to catch a shuttle at 1800. Arriving early, Alison chose a table by the window in their old haunt, the coffee shop on Market Street, and waited. Kathryn's blue eyes had brightened upon seeing Alison, and her smile was warm and friendly.
Kathryn couldn't deny it, she thought of Alison often and missed her. They greeted each other and ordered coffee. As they waited they engaged in small talk, skirting around the undeniable romantic tension between them and the news of Kathryn's engagement.
Seeing Kathryn rocked Alison's composure. All the hard work she had done to move beyond their break-up had suddenly been undone. Momentarily she regretted seeing Kathryn, then her heart took over and she felt a pang of love and desire.
But just as suddenly her brain reminded her of Kathryn's engagement and that any passion she felt was fruitless and would send her back into her depression. She blurted out that she shouldn't have come, and stood up to leave.
Kathryn touched Alison's arm and asked her why she had to leave. Alison looked down at Kathryn then slowly sat. She took a breath and said 'because I know that you and Mark are engaged and I can't bare to witness your happiness together, it's too hard.' Alison's voice was shaky at first, then measured and stable as she gathered her emotions.
Kathryn took Alison's hand in her own and gently pulled her toward her. She still wanted Alison in her life and she told her in a husky whisper. Alison's heart pounded, but she was determined to resist. She told Kathryn that she was happy for her but that she couldn't continue to be in her life as she had been before.
As a way to close the conversation and emphasise her determination, Alison told Kathryn that she had been offered, and accepted, the position on Vulcan. Kathryn slowly loosened her grip on Alison's hand as sadness spread through her being. The very thing she had hoped to avoid, had happened. She had lost her best friend.