Barney was trying not to be nervous. He was getting prepared for his trick, and he was having second thoughts. What once seemed like a daring, epic magic trick was now seeming like a death sentence. Robin was right. He was crazy to want to do this. He was crazy to have had thoughts that it wouldn't matter if he lived or died, especially after meeting Robin. He needed to live so he could find her again. Nathan had a minor role in the gig, but he had been going on and on about the trick so much that suddenly Barney had an idea.

"I mean...why you? I'm just as good!" Nathan was currently saying loudly as he got dressed too.

"Then do it," Barney said.

"I can totally-wait, what?" Nathan stopped talking and stared at Barney.

"You should do it. You're right. You're better than me," Barney finished.

"Um, aren't you forgetting something?" Nathan asked. "They picked you."

"I'll say I'm sick," Barney shrugged. "He won't care."

"Seriously, bro?" Nathan questioned. He wasn't understanding why Barney was suddenly changing his mind.

"Yea. I'm serious. Here," Barney said, handing over his name tag that had his character's name on it. Nathan fumbled with his fingers putting it on his vest.

"This is gonna be legen...wait for it...dary!" Nathan shouted, pumping his fist. Barney rolled his eyes. The guy used that line so much it got old fast.

"You're so gonna get laid when you tell people you did this trick," Barney snickered.

"Oh yea," Nathan said. "I can add it to the playbook and actually have it be true for once."

"Bro, that book is kinda lame," Barney said.

"When you start having sex, trust me, you'll use it all the time to bang chicks," Nathan reassured him. Barney wasn't too sure about that.

"You ready?" Barney asked, turning to Nathan.

"I was born ready!" Nathan exclaimed, high fiving Barney. They headed out into the night.

...

Robin was in the airport in Edmonton waiting for her connecting flight when the news flashed to Niagara Falls. She sat up straighter. That was where Barney was.

"Breaking news tonight starts with a magic trick gone bad in Niagara Falls," the reporter said solemnly. "A 17 year old teenage boy has died by failing to escape his bonds while going over the falls in a barrel."

"Oh my God," Robin choked.

"No names will be released until the boy's family has been notified," the reporter went on. "This tragic event has people shocked. Why was this trick allowed in the first place? And why was a minor allowed to act it out? More on this later at 11."

"Barney," Robin whimpered. She didn't need to know the boy's name. She had known that Barney was performing at Niagara Falls, and he had eventually caved and told her the trick after she begged repeatedly. It was partially why she had panicked and ran from the room after he kissed her. She was afraid of exactly this happening. She let herself feel something for him only to lose him. She banged her fist against the armrest of the airport chair, crying. She was never going to see him again.

...

Barney was in shock. When Nathan didn't come up after what felt like hours under water, he just knew. There was immediate panic once the boss magician realized what had happened. Women were screaming, and men were running around trying to make a plan of how to go in after Nathan. Barney stood, frozen. His last image of Nathan had been his usual two fingers thrown into the air like a salute with his huge grin before being handcuffed and shut into the barrel. Barney felt very sick. That could have been him. He could be the one drowning right now. He stumbled away from the crowd, away from everything. His life was forever changed. He never wanted to do magic again.

...

The next day, Robin was home lying on her bed. She was too depressed to do anything. Her sister stayed away from her, and her mother stopped trying to tempt her with scrambled eggs an hour ago. Her father was absent as usual. Robin didn't know what to do or think. She hadn't told anyone about Barney. She didn't even know his last name. She felt the tears again. He had been so funny. And cute. She somehow imagined him looking better as a blonde, though. The tears trickled into her mouth, and she tasted the salt. She remembered he had tasted a little salty from the pizza when they had kissed. Why oh why hadn't she convinced him not to do that trick?! She suddenly got an idea. She hurried to her desk. It was going to be her last song she ever wrote, but it was going to be a tribute. Since she didn't know his last name, she used hers. She scribbled for hours, erasing and crossing out lines until it all fit together. When she was done, she wrote the song title at the top in big bold letters.

That's B.S. I Love YOU

It would be her sort of sequel to P.S. I Love You, and she was never going to play it because the world had already given up on her. No, she was going to stop being all goth and depressed and change her career. That dream of being a rockstar died with Barney. She took her new song and put it in an envelope and then into a box and went out back to bury it. It was hers and only hers.

"Rest in peace, Barney," she whispered. She trudged back inside and hid back into her room. She was never coming out again.

...

"Barney!" Loretta shouted, grabbing him to her tightly. "I saw the news! Oh my God! I thought you were dead!"

"I'm okay, Mom," Barney said, holding her back just as tightly. They had flown him home immediately after the incident.

"I just can't believe it. Nathan's gone," Loretta cried. She rocked him back and forth. Yes, the boy was a bit of a perv at times, and she never knew why her son liked him, but he was Barney's friend even still. He had had a certain charm to him.

"It's my fault," Barney said through his tears.

"No, it isn't," Loretta disagreed, holding him at arm's length.

"It is. We...we traded roles for the show. I was supposed to be in that barrel," Barney whimpered. "He wanted to do it, so I let him."

"Oh, Barney," Loretta said sadly, hugging him again. She was worried about her son. She didn't think he'd ever get over this.

...

A week later, Barney was sitting on his bed looking at the box of things Nathan's mom had given him. He pulled out the Playbook and touched the cover tentatively. His friend only had about five plays in it, but Barney made a vow to himself that he would finish his friend's work no matter what. He felt bad for ever having doubts as to why he was friends with Nathan. He missed him a lot, and he wasn't sure if he'd ever get over it.

"Hey, man," James said, coming into his room. "You okay?"

"I'm sad, James. I feel broken, and I have no idea if I'll ever be fixed again," Barney answered. James came to sit down beside him.

"You're broken right now, but it won't stay like this forever. It's all fresh and raw, but eventually it will heal over. It will never go away, and you'll always have the scar, but it won't hurt so deeply after a while," James finished.

Barney didn't know what else to say, so he just nodded. He hadn't told anybody about the girl he'd kissed, the girl he was never going to see again. She might as well be dead too.

"Do I need to worry about you?" James asked, his meaning clear. Barney shook his head.

"No. I gotta live. I gotta live because Nathan can't," Barney said. He regretted James finding out his darkest thoughts, but in a way, it had saved him. No, not just James. Robin had saved him too. She had begged him not to do that trick when she'd gotten it out of him what it was, and her voice hadn't left him alone ever since. Too bad he couldn't find her to tell her thank you.

...

A month after Barney's death, Robin found herself in a trance. She lived life without really living it. Her family didn't know what was wrong with her, and she didn't know how to change it. She hated that she was forgetting what Barney looked like. She hated that the only thing she could remember so clearly was their kiss. She wished she had had more time. She was a month away from graduating high school, and she had no idea what she wanted to do with her life. Music was a dead end. She wasn't going to be a hockey star much to her father's disappointment. She was walking out the front doors of her school, and she wasn't really paying much attention to her surroundings. When she reached the top of the stairs, she was suddenly slammed into by a skateboarder. She screamed, reaching for the railing and grazing it with her fingertips as she fell. The fall seemed to take forever, but when she landed, her last thought was that perhaps in death she'd get to see Barney again.

...

"Robin? Robin!"

She opened her eyes. She was in a brightly lit room, and she winced immediately. A shadow fell over her eyes then, and she reopened them to see both of her parents standing there looking worried.

"Robin," her mother said, touching her face. "It's us."

"Where am I?" Robin asked. Her head was pounding so hard.

"You're in the hospital. You fell at school," her father told her. Did she detect disappointment in his voice? What was there to be disappointed about? That she fell?

"Just relax," her mother ordered when she tried to get up. "The doctor said you had quite the fall and need to rest."

"They also need to monitor you overnight for a brain bleed," her father finished. Robin felt scared.

"W-what?"

"It's just a precaution, dear," her mother soothed. Robin felt her heart start to race. The monitors starting going off. A nurse arrived immediately.

"You're awake," she said, chipper. "That's great. Now, just lie back and relax. Everything's okay. Now, can you answer some questions for me?"

"Sure."

"Your name?"

"Robin Scherbatsky," she answered.

"Year?"

"1996"

"Age?"

"17"

The nurse prattled on with more questions, and Robin answered them all to her satisfaction.

"I'd say there has been minimal damage, but you did have a pretty good concussion, dearie. We will release you tomorrow after we determine there's no internal bleeding, and you can get on with your life."

Robin furrowed her brow, feeling as though she was forgetting something. She searched her mind hard, but nothing came to light. She took that to mean a good thing.

"Get better," her father said before leaving. Her mother stayed by her side all night. Robin had fitful sleep, but when the morning came, she still felt as though she was forgetting something. She hoped it would come back to her soon.

2005

Ted was going on and on about marriage...AGAIN. Barney sipped his scotch and hid his annoyance. Why was the guy so insistent on avoiding the single, dating life? He was prattling on about The One, and Barney contained his eye rolling, but just barely. Then suddenly, Ted was frozen on the spot.

"Oh my God," he breathed. Barney turned to see what he was looking at.

Oh my God indeed. Barney stared. Was it? Could it be?

"I have to meet her," Ted said, echoing the very thoughts Barney had had nine years ago.

"Do you though?" Barney asked, trying to act nonchalant.

"Yes. Quick, help me," Ted ordered. That was the very last thing Barney wanted to do. Then, the woman was approaching them, and Ted was giving him the "Come on" look, but Barney was entranced. Nine years was a long time to think about someone, miss someone, and spend hours trying to find someone only by their first name in Vancouver only to be unsuccessful every single damn time.

"H-h-hi, hi," Ted managed to stutter out. The woman turned, looking at him.

"Hi," she said back.

"I'm Ted," he told her.

"Robin," she replied. They shook hands. Barney was still staring. She wasn't seeing him yet. He knew he looked very different from the night they'd first met, but if he could recognize her, why couldn't she recognize him?

"Barney," he said, thrusting his hand in there. Ted was glaring at him. He didn't care.

"Nice to meet you," Robin said, shaking it carefully. Their eyes met. Barney saw that there was absolutely no recognition there at all. His heart dropped. He knew he had vowed not to do magic, but he still did the odd small trick to help along boring dates. He thought that if he did something now, it would jog her memory. With a bang and a flash, he had "Nice to meet you too" on his hands looking as though they'd been burned there.

"Wow," Robin said.

"What are you doing?" Ted hissed.

"I like to dabble in magic a bit," Barney said, ignoring Ted.

"That's...cool," Robin finished. He felt his hopes sinking. She didn't remember him. He wasn't about to bring it up in front of Ted. He was devising a plan of how he could get her alone. While he was thinking, she'd turned back to Ted and was chatting with him. Barney overheard she worked at Metro News 1, and he figured he could at least find her there if he had to. She had moved to New York. She lived here now. It had to be fate.

"Dr. Copulator!" a woman's voice called. He cringed inside. Damn it all to hell. Not now!

"Seriously?" Robin asked, staring. There was a small smile at the corner of her lips, though.

"Dr. Copulator, I heard you know what to do in a crisis," the woman continued.

"You've confused me with someone else," Barney said to her.

"You literally just talked to her five minutes ago," Ted pointed out. Barney wanted to kick him.

"Not me," he said again more forcefully. The woman left, looking confused.

"I should get back to my table," Robin said. "My friend just got dumped so now everyone is a jerkwad."

"Ah hahahaha," Barney said, overcompensating. "That's funny."

"Will you go out with me tomorrow night?" Ted threw in. Barney growled to himself.

"What the hell?" Robin said.

"If it helps, you can toss your drink in my face," Ted suggested.

"Huh. That would help, actually," Robin said. She wrote down her number and then chucked her drink (which Barney happened to notice was a scotch too) into Ted's face. After she was gone, Ted was thrilled. Barney was frustrated. No one knew about Barney's first love in Canada, and he intended to keep it that way. In doing so, how the hell was he going to sabotage this date without giving it all away?!

I know it's a quick update, but that won't always be the case. I just really had some good ideas last night. Anyway, thanks for reviewing and reading! I'd appreciate it if you didn't guess/predict where this story is going as it could ruin my future ideas :) Also, this is as dark as this story will get. Humor and Romance are coming up!