Chapter 2: Do you feel it?
It was two days later that they pulled into the small town where their job was. Dean was driving, of course and it looked like he was about to pass out. "Sammy..." Sam, who had been leaning against the passenger door watching the trees go by looked over. He'd woken from his nap about an hour ago and had insisted on driving, only to be told no by Dean. "Yea?" He knew Dean was exhausted, and hoped they wouldn't start the job until the next day. Considering Dean was about to pass out where he sat. "When I get to the motel go check us in. Im thinking the job can wait till tomorrow, yea? Less you wanna do some research today?" Sam smirked and nodded "You rest Dean, I'll do research and tomorrow you can start helping. No biggie." Dean nodded, pulling into a parking space near the motel and opened his door. Sam got out as well and walked to the office, checking them in and headed back out to see Dean leaning heavily against the impalas hood. "Come on, lets get you to bed." He wrapped his arm around his brothers waist and half carried him to the room. Of course, dean was protesting the whole way, but was to exhausted to really yank away from the warmth without falling on his face.
Yea that'd be just great, right? Be an ass to his brother when he was just trying to help and probably end up hurting himself. Thus was the reason he just grumbled under his breath after the first few smacks at Sam when he first put his arm around him. It wasn't on his to do list to do a face plant on the ground this evening. Sam managed to get the door open and helped Dean to the bed, who flopped face down on the mattress and grumbled when Sam removed his shoes, lifted his feet and pulled the cover out from under him then proceeded to cover him. Sam smirked at his brothers half sleepness and after covering him hovered by the bed for a few minutes before leaning over and brushing a kiss to his forehead, when he was certain dean was asleep of course. He then turned and walked over to the poor excuse for a table and sat down, pulling his laptop out of its bag and opening it.
Dean had been awake when Sam brushed the kiss upon his forehead and he laid there, feigning sleep as his mind whirled. Sure it could have just been a brotherly thing, god knows he'd done it enough when Sam was younger and he'd tuck him into bed. Then again he had always been the older one, the protector and caretaker. It had been his job to take care of Sam, hell it still was. With a soft sigh he rolled onto his stomach and buried his face into the pillow. Soon drifting off to sleep, thinking about what that simple kiss could have meant. It had been a few hours of researching, and so far Sam'd only found out the ghosts name and how she was killed. There was nothing on where she was buried. A heavy sigh escaped his vocals and he leaned back in the chair, reaching up to run his hand through his hair.
Dean had been awake for a few minutes, watching Sam as he was immersed in his research. However at the sigh and obvious signs that Sam was stressed he pulled himself out of the comfortable bed. Walking as silently as possible over to his brother and placing both of his hands on Sams shoulders, giving him a sort of massage for a few seconds before brushing it off as him just goofing around when he gently shook his brother forward and back, then side to side. Sam had nearly lept out of his skin when Deans hands were placed on his shoulders, and his mind began to whirl at the massage, that was odd. But then he was shaken and a choked laugh escaped him. "See your finally awake." "Yea, so what'd ya find out so far?" Dean was leaning over his shoulder, reading from the screen. Sam smirked and leaned back more, his head resting against Deans chest/stomach and with each breath he in hailed his brothers scent, a mixture of gun powder, oil, soap and just Dean. "It appears that Samantha Henderson was brutally murdered by her step father in 1956. I can't find where the body is though..."
Dean simply blinked when Sam moved back to rest his head against his chest. Again with the odd things that they both did but shrugged it off, listening to his brother say what all he'd found. "Hm.. Well we'll ask around town then, eh?" Standing up he squeezed Sams shoulders before turning and heading to the bathroom. Sam turned his head slightly to watch Dean head off to the bathroom before sighing again and scrubbing his hands over his face. Leaning forward letting his elbows rest on the table. God this was going to be a long day. A few minutes later Dean reemerged from the bathroom dressed and ready to go. "Come on Sammy." "Alright, lets go." Sam got up from the chair and headed towards the door as Dean pulled on his leather jacket and snagged the keys to the Impala off the night stand. Once outside they made they way to the car and got in. Dean reached over and cranked up AC/DC, Back in black(AN: I couldn't resist, I was watching clips from bloodlust xD) and pulled out of the parking lot.
It was about ten minutes later when they pulled into the motel where the home owners were currently staying. Dean and Sam shared a look before they got out and were approached by Tom, the home owner of course. "Anything?" "Well Sammy here found out who the ghost might be, but we can't find out where her body is." "Who?" They paused as a person walked past. "Samantha Henderson" "Samantha Henderson?....." The man paused for a minute, thinking about it before a look crossed his face. "Shes buried on the private graveyard out back behind the house about an acre back." Dean and Sam nodded "Grave marked?" The man nodded "Thanks." "No problem, and uh thanks." "Don't thank us yet." Dean replied before he glanced at Sam and they both turned and got back into the car.
Heading back towards the haunted house Dean glanced over to Sam, who was sitting quietly in the passenger seat. "You ok Sammy?" It was silent for a moment before a quiet reply reached his ears. "Yea im fine, Dean." Dean studied his brother for a few more seconds before turning his full attention back to the road. If Sammy wanted to talk about whatever was bugging him he would, because after all he loved causing chick flick moments, no matter how uncomfortable they made Dean. In fact, if Dean had to guess, he'd say that Sammy loved causing chick flick moments just to make him squirm... of course he knew that Sammy was as cruel as that. He hoped.
As the silence stretched across the drive Sam was off in his own little world, thinking back to when Dean found out about Ruby. Ruby, the bitch that had caused so much trouble and heart ache between him and Dean. Ruby, who had lied to him, tricked him, strung him along...whichever term you want to choose. Sure she was dead now, he had killed her as soon as he figured out that killing Lillith was a major fuck up on his part, but the look in Deans eyes..when he had told Sam never to come back if he walked out that door.
****Flashback*******
They were standing in that damn motel room the he and Ruby had got, it had just been after he'd sent Ruby out before Dean tried to kill her. They began talking and Dean, poor dean he looked so confused, so hurt...and most of all... pissed. Very pissed. "Shes poisoned you sam!" "Look its not what you think" "Look what she did to you! I mean she up and vanishes for weeks at a time, leaves you cracking out for another hit!" "She was looking for lillith!" Dean sighed. "That is french for manipulating your ass ten ways from sunday!" "Your wrong dean!" Dean shook his head, his face and eyes actually reflected the hurt that he'd inflicted on Dean. "You are lieing to yourself" With two steps dean was up in his face as he continued "I just.......want you to be Okay" Sam could hear the desperation in his tone, the hurt that was reflected on his face. Dean continued to stare into his eyes as he continued. "You would do the same for me, you know you would." Sam sighed, he didn't want to hurt Dean... he didn't want to cause the pain that he saw in his brothers face, in his posture. "Just listen" Pausing as he tossed the knife onto the bed before continuing. "Just listen for a second. We got a lead on a demon close to lilith come with us dean." God how he wanted Dean to come with him, he wanted his big brother with him...always. He was sure his tone reflected this, but didn't care. "We'll do this together." "That sounds great" Dean replied in a near whisper, but continued louder. "As long as its you and me. Demon bitch is a deal breaker, you kiss her ass goodbye and we can go right now." He wanted to agree, so bad but he needed her. She was teaching him, schooling him on ways to kill demons without having to risk Deans life. Looking towards the roof he took a breath. "I cant. Dean, I need her to help me kill lillith." Dean had turned away from him as soon as the words I cant came out of his mouth. "I know you cant wrap your head around it." He continued anyways, praying that Dean would see reason. "But maybe one day....you'll understand?" Deans head shook, only slightly but Sam saw it anyways... His heart broke a little.
"Im the only one who can do this, Dean." At this Dean turned around, anger being the strongest emotion expressed, along with the hurt. "No your not going to be the one to do this." "Right thats right I forgot, the angels think its you" He snapped, his anger getting the better of him. Why couldn't Dean just understand?! Deans eyebrows rose as his eyes narrowed "You dont think I can?" "No you cant." Ok so that was probably the wrong thing to say, defiantly considering how this just seemed to piss Dean off more. Yet he couldn't stop himself from continuing. "Your not strong enough." "And who the hell are you?" "Im being practical here, im doing what needs to be done." "Yea?! Your not going to do a single damn thing." Dean replied in the same tone he always used when giving orders. Sams anger spiked and he spat back "Stop bossing me around Dean!" Sucking in a deep breath he tried to reign in his anger. This was dean, his big brother... the guy he loved. He was just trying to protect him, but Sam was trying to protect Dean as well. "Look, my whole life" I've loved you. He thought. "You took the wheel, you called the shots and I trust you, because your my brother now im asking you for once, trust me!" God how he wanted Dean to accept, to trust him. To let him protect Dean for once.
Dean wasn't having it though, as his head began to shake. A sigh escaped Sam before Dean spoke. "No, you don't know what your doing sam." "Yes I do!" "Thats worse!" "Why? Look Im telling you -" "Because its not something your doing its what you are!" Dean shouted in rage. Hurt flitted across Sams face as his heart cracked more. "It means" But dean stopped. "What? No." Tears had already welled up in his eyes, blurring his vision and threatening to overflow. Dean swallowed heavily as he continued to stare at sam, his sammy."Say it." "It means your a monster" Sam nodded, looking away as his jaw clenched. He was trying to get a reign on his anger, but failed as his arm drew back before swinging forward, punching Dean right in the jaw. Dean who fell onto the ground from the force and shock of the attack, took a few moments to get up off the floor. When he did, his face was expressionless, just as it was when he took down.....monsters. Sam felt his heart shatter in that moment. He snarled at Dean, he wasn't a monster! All of a sudden Dean lunged, his fist colliding with Sams face repeatedly, before he punched Sam in the stomach and then kneed him in the groin. If there was one thing Sam could say about his brother, it was that he was a skilled fighter. Of course, he wasn't thinking this at the time.
This continued for a few seconds before Sam got the upper hand, punching dean several times before he fell back against the glass. As he turned around he came at Sam again, who ducked and grabbed a hold of him. Shoving him throw the half wall in the cheap motel room. This time Dean stayed down, rolling onto his back and grunting in pain. He coughed and looked away from Sam, unaware that Sam had stalked towards him until he was on him. Large hands gripped his brothers throat as he started choking him, Dean tried to pry his brothers arms away sammy was to strong. Suddenly realizing what he was doing Sam released his brother and stumbled back. Oh god, Dean was right! He was a monster! Dean lay on the ground coughing, trying to get his breath back. "You don't know me. You never did" Sam said, anger lacing his voice. He couldn't let Dean know he was right, that he was a monster. "And you never will" He added, his voice carried the sadness that he felt. Heading towards the door he only paused at Deans words. "You walk out that door, don't you ever come back" Sam turned around and looked down at his brother, glaringly. Though his heart felt like it'd been shoved through a paper shredder and then ripped out of his chest a piece at a time. Sighing he turned around, opened the door and left.
********End flash back******
"Sammy?" Sam jumped at Deans voice and jerked up, looking at his brother. Blinking a few times he noticed they were at the house and Dean was leaning against Sams window. "Coming?" "Mm yea." Sam climbed out of the Impala and took the flash light and shotgun that Dean handed him. Reaching down he grabbed the gas as well and followed Dean into the woods, staring at his arse every chance he got. Dean was carrying the salt and the shovels as they walked in silence through the woods. It only took a few minutes before they came upon the graveyard and started looking for the right grave. "Found it!" Dean moved over to sam and set the salt down. "I'll dig, you keep watch." Sam nodded and adjusted his hold on the shot gun. Shining the flashlight on the grave while Dean shoved the shovel in and tossed the dirt aside. They stood like this for about a half hour before the ghost decided to make an appearance. As she appeared she threw Sam into a tree; causing the shotgun to fly from his hands and land a few feet away. "SAMMY!" Dean scrambled to climb out of the hole he had dug, determined to protect his baby brother. Sam groaned and looked around, trying to move from the tree but found he was forced there by the ghost, who turned to look at Dean just as he grabbed the shot gun and threw him across the clearing. "Dean!" Dean however hadn't dropped the gun when he crashed to the ground. Rolling onto his back he sat up, aimed and shot the bitch with the rock salt. After she disappeared he clambered to his feet and stumbled over to Sam. "You ok?" At the nod he handed the gun to his brother and grabbed the salt, gas and matches. Breaking open the coffin after a few more minutes of digging he doused it in salt and gas before climbing out and tossing in a match. The two stood there for a few minutes, watching as the flames consumed the grave. As they turned to leave Sams knees buckled and Dean reached out grabbing him before he hit the ground. Wrapping an arm around Sams waist he heaved him back onto his feet. "Easy there Sasquatch." He tried to sound teasing, but was actually rather concerned about his brother.
Supporting Sam they slowly made it back to the Impala where he leaned Sam on the car as he opened the door and pushed him into the passenger seat before doing a quick once over. His thumb traced the cut that was below Sams eye as his other checked sams ribs, frowning when Sam hissed. "Alright... I gotta check you over when we get back to the motel." Before he stood he watched his thumb trace down sams face and Sams eyes locked on his own, they stared at each other for several minutes...though it felt like hours before Dean leaned forward slightly and brushed his lips against Sams. They sat there frozen for a few minutes before dean pulled back and coughed. "Uh....yea...dunno what that was bout..." Placing his hands on the seat on either side of sam he pushed up to stand, only well he couldn't because his brother had grabbed his shirt and was pulling him back down and smashing his lips against deans. Deans eyes widened in shock, what the hell was sam doing?! Sure, Dean loved Sam in a way that wasn't brotherly, but could this mean that sam returned the feelings or was it just cause he thought dean would leave? After a few minutes Deans lips began to mirror sams, only breaking the kiss when he felt Sams tongue run across his bottom lip. "Sammy..." He allowed his eyes to scan over his brothers face, hand reaching up to caress his cheek. "We can't...." "Yea...right...your right. Lets just go." "Sammy.." "Can we go now dean?" "Yea, course." Dean stood and shut the passenger door before walking around the hood and sliding into the drivers seat.
The silence was an awkward one as they drove back to the motel, and continued after Dean got Sam inside and set him down on the bed. His hands quickly pulled his brothers shirt off, as gently as he could of course. Beneath the shirt was a large bruise covering sams back and his right side, Sam hissed as Dean gingerly pressed on the bruise. He frowned when he felt a crack but the rib wasn't misplaced. "Well your lucky it hasn't moved. I'ma wrap you and your gonna rest, ok?" His only reply was a grunt and Dean frowned more. Grabbing the wrap he began to work, soon his brother was covered in a white wrap, of course it'd been pulled tight but not to tight. Years of practice had taught him what was the right amount and what would only cause Sam pain. Pushing gently on Sams shoulder he got his brother to lay down after handing him two pain killers from the nightstand and a glass of water. He remained perched on the edge of the bed, watching as Sam started to drift asleep. A fond smile crossed his face as his hand reached up, brushing his brothers hair from his eyes. "I love you, Sammy." He whispered before leaning over and brushing a kiss to Sams forehead, lingering for a few minutes before he stood and laid down in his own bed.
A few hours later he woke to Sam crying out his name, quickly switching on the light he scrambled over to his brothers bed and placed his hand on Sams chest, using his free hand to brush the sweaty hair out of sams eyes. "Sammy, come on sammy wake up." "...Dea?" "Shh its ok." Sam had tears running down his face, a nightmare no doubt. Something that Sam hadn't had since they were kids. "Dean!" Sams arms wrapped around him, pulling Dean down to where he could reach him better, cling to him. At the hiss Dean pulled back. "Its ok, im here its ok." "It was..you..dea...you were...dea.." "Shhh its ok." He crawled into the bed beside his brother and pulled him against him. Making sure that Sam wasnt laying on the side with the broken rib. "I got ya. Shh I got you. I've always gotcha." Dean continued to hold sam, stroking his hair until he was sure Sammy was asleep. "I'll always have you." He whispered before drifting to sleep himself.