So because everyone wanted it, I delivered *u*
Tumblr is here (endofadream)
Blaine exits the door to the house with a heavy heart, a tight chest, and tear-pricked eyes; but he still holds his head high, smiles and waves and blinks in surprise at the tumultuous cheers that erupt from the people in the crowd.
He shakes Julie's hand before he sits down but after he sets his black travel bag on the floor next to the stool. When he settles into place he looks out at everyone again and smiles. He still feels warm from Kurt's tight goodbye hug, can still see his own tears reflected there when Kurt had pulled away and whispered, "I'm gonna win this thing for you, baby, I promise."
"So, Blaine," Julie says, snapping Blaine back to the present and the hot lights on his face. "I think I can truthfully say that it's a shame to see you out here tonight."
Blaine laughs, smiles and shrugs. "I can't lie: I have to agree with you on that one."
"How did it feel to walk out that door knowing that you were leaving your chance at half a million dollars behind?"
Blaine swallows hard, thinks back to the bittersweet goodbyes and the few less-than-sincere hugs he'd received as he'd grabbed his duffel bag. It had sucked, he wants to say. It sucks knowing that he's gone and Kurt isn't and that he's back out in the real world now, where there are no walls and no cameras and there's the awful added possibility that things could change, could go wrong.
"It's just part of the game," is what he says with a shrug and a smile that's as sincere as he can possibly make it. "You go in there knowing you're either gonna win or lose and there's nothing you can do about it."
He's sure he'd gone home this week purely for the reason to break him and Kurt up and shift the momentum and power of the house. It hurts to think about, but Blaine can't stay mad at anyone left: despite their ups and down, their fights and tears, he holds all of them in a special place in his heart. How could he ever forget Sam trying to teach him pool, or watching Santana and Rachel attempt to try and keep up with Mike's expert dance moves? And Kurt—how could Blaine ever forget him? Falling asleep in his arms, making love under the covers in the HOH room, the way Kurt always smiled that special smile for Blaine—Blaine knows, without a doubt, that he'll never forget any of this.
"…And speaking of part of the game," Julie says, smiling in a candid sort of way, "would you mind telling us about Kurt? Just how serious was it?"
Blaine warms from the inside out, and it's not from the stage lights. The audience cheers and Blaine flushes, ducking his head and shaking it as he laughs, says, "I don't even know where to begin with him, Julie. It was…yeah, I'd say that it was pretty serious." The piece of paper with Kurt's hastily-scrawled number sits heavy in his pocket and Blaine drags his hand over it absently as he delicately crosses his legs and tugs at his bowtie, hoping that it's still straight now that Kurt isn't here to keep it in check.
Blaine is, honestly, still trying to wrap his head around all of this. He's seen showmances from past seasons, has seen how they look on the show: realistic, completely believable, completely adorable, but how much of that is actually true? How many of those people are really together? There are exceptions, of course, but Blaine is still unsure, scared.
"Twitter has been abuzz over you two for weeks now," she continues. "Klaine is the steamier version Brenchel, they've been saying."
"Oh, god," Blaine groans playfully, pressing his palm to his face. He thinks back to all those times where he and Kurt had made out on top of the covers, rolling around and…grinding. They'd always gotten so caught up in the moment, in the feel of each other, that they'd forgotten all about the cameras until it was too late. "You forget that everyone can see you 24/7," he admits, biting his lip as the audience laughs loudly. He flushes hot as the memory of Kurt sucking him off for the first time resurfaces. "I'm sure America has seen way too much of us."
"That's what our editors are paid for," Julie teases, and Blaine groans louder, hides his face completely in his hands. He's not usually like this: the Blaine before Big Brother was calm, cool, composed and completely put together at all times. Private school and a strict upbringing had drilled that into his head from as early as he could remember, and even after graduating from high school, then college and heading off into his grad program he's still held onto that sense of collectedness. It's something he'd never been able to escape until he'd met Kurt.
Kurt had said that Blaine had turned his life completely on its head, but he has no idea how much he's changed Blaine's.
"I think we definitely made your editors earn their money," he says when he resurfaces. He knows that his face must be bright red—he can only imagine what his family thinks.
"And what about you? Do you think the experience was worth it?"
"Oh, definitely." Blaine nods, adjusting his cuff. "I wanted to win, just like everyone else, but I also wanted the full Big Brother experience. I've made some great friendships here that I hope will last once the game is over, but only time will tell. I played the best game that I could and gave it my all, and I have no regrets, Julie, I can honestly say that."
She smiles, nods, and places a quick hand on Blaine's shoulder. "In the event of your eviction tonight, the houseguests have taped some goodbye messages for you. Let's take a look."
Blaine follows Julie's gaze over to the corner of the studio where Mercedes's face pops up. He listens to each of their messages, nodding along and smiling when they say something good and frowning and rolling his eyes when they say something bad. It surprises him how little of that there is; though the sting of eviction is still fresh and throbbing, Blaine can feel it slowly begin to recede as he smiles.
When Kurt's face pops up, Blaine's chest immediately tightens, and as much as he tries he can't stop his eyes from welling up with tears. He knows the cameras are on him, knows that there's no way to hide it, and with an inward sigh and an imperceptible shrug to himself he lets the tears build and blur his vision into wobbly, blurry shapes, lets one slide down his face as Kurt begins to speak.
"Blaine, sweetie, the last thing I wanted to see was you walking out that door. Everyone loved you, but it was a power move that I completely understand even though it sucks." His voice cracks a little. His eyes are red-rimmed, slightly swollen, and Blaine can't help but notice how much of the blue in Kurt's irises that it brings out. "I would have done the same thing if it had been for someone else. Though, if you ask me," he continues, one corner of his mouth uplifting into a smile as he looks around the diary room, "they were all just a little jealous."
The audience laughs and so does Blaine; he brings his hand up to his eye, wipes away the slick of tears, and itches to reach out, to touch Kurt and tell him be strong, it's okay, I'm rooting for you.
"And you know what?" Kurt adds, his voice determined. He sniffs, and the softly vulnerable look about his face sharpens, hardens, and he's all steely concentration and gritty determination again. "They can't touch us, or what we have. This stopped being just a showmance for me a long time ago, and I promise you, baby, that I'm gonna win this thing for us. I'll miss you."
The screen goes dark and Julie turns back to face Blaine. "Well," she says, pausing heavily for emphasis and anticipation, "that was certainly a powerful message."
Blaine sniffs, smiles, chuckles and says, "It really was. But that's how Kurt is. You think that he's not powerful, that he can't persuade the entire house in one night to change their votes, but he can."
"Do you think he'll win?"
Blaine looks out at the audience, at the cameras. He's still smiling, still full of hope. "Kurt is a strong player and a strong person." His smile grows a little more wistful. "That's why I fell in love with him in the first place."
There's a chorus of awws that make Blaine smile embarrassedly and uncross and re-cross his legs. He's just being truthful, and maybe it's a bit too much, but Blaine doesn't care, can't even bring himself to, not when he feels like this. Even being sent home just shy of the final five can't put a damper on his mood.
They end the interview and Blaine stands up, picks up his bag. He waves to everybody again, hefts his bag over his shoulder, and begins the walk out.
Once he's off the stage and out of sight of the cameras Blaine pulls the little piece of paper from his pocket. He stares at it, takes in Kurt's tiny, neat writing, and smiles, rubbing his thumb over the indentations from the pen.
Just because one chapter ended doesn't mean that it's really over: the vote between the final two is in a couple of weeks, and if Kurt is or isn't part of it, it doesn't matter because he'll be there and so will Blaine. Whether it's hello, or a final adieu, they'll have this one last chance before their summer is over.
As Blaine is putting the paper back into his pocket his finger rubs over unfamiliar indentations that he didn't feel before. His brow furrowing, he curiously pulls it back out, unfolds it and flips it over. What's there on the back, in even tinier print so that Blaine has missed it up until now, are six little words. Six little words that make Blaine let out a quiet sob-chuckle, that make his heart beat faster, that make him realize how truly lucky he is and how this just might actually be the real deal, TV cameras or not.
I'm never saying goodbye to you.