Hey guys! It's Friday, and I'm here! YAY! This chapter is really sad...MWAHAHAHA. Can't say much or I'll spoil the whole thing, so yeah. That's all from me today!
To my Guest Reviewer: OMG I'm glad you like it! Here's some more for you friendo!
To Only Hope No Fear: haha, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I love being able to make people feel strong emotions while reading, and it seems I did that with you! Uh…. Raph didn't lose his memory… Leo will survive…. That's all I got without spoiling. :D
Warnings: Mentions of injury, mentions of death, mentions of fire
Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT!
And now, enjoy!
Donatello was sitting beside Leo, though he glanced at the clock every few seconds, terrified. Mikey had gone out at sundown, searching for Raph as Don had promised he could, and the purple masked turtle couldn't fight the growing sense of dread and worry. What was he thinking? Letting Mikey go off alone like that? He didn't trust Mikey alone in the lair let alone New York City! Don took a deep breath. This was different than skateboarding expeditions, this was Raph, their brother, who had, for all Donnie knew, died for them. For Leo. he hated not knowing what had happened to the red-masked turtle, and Mikey had been gone for two hours already, Leo was stable yet still asleep, in a coma probably, and Donnie felt completely helpless. He pulled his legs up to his chest, resting his feet on the edge of the cot, and sighed. It had been a long day, full of tests, calls, and long explanations. But he had gotten a surefire antidote for the poison from bishop, and the last blood test had shown it was completely out of Leo's bloodstream. That was very good, he just wished he knew his other two brothers were safe. He bit his lip anxiously. He would call Mikey in ten minutes, he promised himself. Ten minutes. Mikey usually answered his phone anyway, he would know Mikey was safe in ten minutes. The thought comforted Donatello, but the dread settled in his stomach like a stone.
He didn't have to wait ten minutes to speak to Mikey, however. Because five minutes in, when he had gotten up to pace, Don heard the distinct sound of a sad Mikey gait, slow, padding into the sewers without a straight line. He dashed out to where Mikey was by the pit, looking at the ground, something cradled to his chest.
"Mikey? Mikey what happened?" he asked in worry, racing to his brother's side. "Did you find the building again?" Mikey looked up, his face was streaked with tears and soot. Don felt the worry grow. "Mikey?"
"It's gone." he said numbly, "the building, everything, just gone. All that was left was charred wood and bricks." Mikey's voice sounded hollow, Don frowned.
"Why were you gone so long, then?" he asked gently, though he was afraid he knew the answer. Mikey choked back a sob.
"I was looking through it, I had to know." he gasped, tears streaming again, disturbing the ash and soot on his face. Don shuddered a bit.
"And?" he didn't want to hear the answer. Mikey didn't speak, he just held out his hands, showing what he had been holding when he entered. Donatello's eyes grew wide in dismay.
"No, oh no." he choked back a sob, "Mikey…" he hugged the younger turtle tightly. In Michelangelo's hands were the shattered and scorched remains of two very familiar twin sai, which had been their green-eyed brothers' pride and joy. He would never leave them, however broken they might be.
"They were right next to a big pile of timbers, that was still burning." Mikey sobbed into Donnie's shoulder. "I couldn't dig through it but... I couldn't find him anywhere." the two brothers stood for a long time like that, simply embracing, crying, and trying not to lose all control. Finally, Don stood back, wiping off his cheeks.
"He always wanted to die saving us." he whispered, "come clean that soot off you, Mikey, we'll put them in the dojo." he didn't speak Raph's name, only gestured to the remains of his beloved weapon. Mikey nodded and followed Donnie into the dojo, where they placed the sai gently on the rug in front of the tree, where they had knelt so many times in front of sensei, before moving to the lab to clean the youngest turtle up. The pair remained silent as Donatello gently sponged Mikey with water, washing soot and dirt out of the younger turtle's scrapes and small cuts he had acquired when rifling through the still-smoldering wreckage of the warehouse. Neither of them knew what to say, what could they say? Raphael was, dare Don even think it, dead? Was the hotheaded, green-eyed, red masked, sai-wielding brother of theirs really truly dead? Gone from existence? Never to be heard from again? Was he with their sensei, was he at peace with his death? The last they had seen from Raphael, besides his mangled weapons, was the burning intensity and power in his face as he stood between them and their enemies, with a wall behind him and his brothers. Had Raph known, even then, that he was to die? Don shivered, as he applied ointment to a small burn, he hoped his brother had not felt too much pain before it ended. Shell, he hoped Raph had lived, but from the evidence he had, he knew it was impossible. What Mikey had described was a collapse of the building, and Raph wouldn't have left his Sai in the building had he made it out. He was gone, any remains of him that existed were burning, slowly smoldering under that heap of timbers and bricks. Even the humans, if they found anything, would not know he was a mutant.
Donnie bandaged around Mikey's burned hands and then stared into his baby brother's eyes. Right now, he was the big brother Mikey had to turn to, he was the leader, he couldn't give in to despair. But as they stared at each other, a mutual understanding was met. No one was the bigger mutant, concerning this. Shaking with sobs, Donatello grabbed Mikey in a hug, which the orange masked turtle gladly returned, hot tears spilling down both of their cheeks.
"Donnie, what are we gonna do?" Mikey sobbed, "what are we gonna do without Raph? I can't live without Raphie!" Don, for one of the few times in his life, had no answer. How could he have one? He had never in his wildest nightmares found himself in this predicament, Leo in a coma and Raph...dead. He took a shuddering gasp, blinking rapidly.
"I don't know, Mikey, I just don't know," he replied, hugging his brother tighter. Don glanced at the screens that read Leo's vital signs, he was alive. Leo was still alive, he needed them, he would need them to be strong to recover. A sudden tremor passed through the two turtles as they came to the same thought. How would they tell Leo? Don took a deep breath, sitting back and holding Mikey's shoulders firmly. "Let's go." he breathed, blinking back tears. He couldn't lose hope in Raph like that, not yet. He wanted to search the site himself before he told their oldest brother. Mikey understood and glanced to where Leo was sleeping peacefully, most likely unaware of what had happened. "I can put him in a medically induced sleep for the rest of the night." Don said numbly, "he won't wake up while we're gone, Mikey." Mikey nodded, wiping tears from his eyes.
"Then let's go, I don't wanna be there too long," he whispered, Don hugged Mikey quickly once more before the two brothers prepared and left, in search of anything that remained of their brother.
The pile Mikey showed him, which was indeed still burning, slowly, was taller than Donatello's head. He sighed, kicking a burned log out of the path. This was completely useless, nothing would be left of Raphael after the fire stopped and they couldn't search the pile while it was burning. Donnie looked sadly at Mikey, who was crying again.
"Let's go home, Mikey," he whispered, hugging Mikey's shoulders. Mikey nodded and they walked away, soon entering the sewers and making their way home. Neither of them felt any desire to return to that cursed place, ever again. When Donatello entered the lab, he looked at the clock. The anesthesia would have worn off of Leo by now, and he could really wake up any time. On life support and oxygen, Leo was recovering as well as he could while unconscious. Don just hoped it was enough. The two brothers seated themselves beside the cot, watchful for any movement. Don stared at Leo's closed eyelids, silently willing his brother to wake up, but then looked at Mikey, seemingly distraught.
"Mikey, we can't tell him," he whispered, Mikey's eyes grew round with shock. "At least at first, he won't heal as well if he's grieving. Please, Mikey, don't let him know until I say he can. We'll think of excuses, but please?" Mikey stared at him, and Don worried that he had invoked anger in the light-hearted young turtle. Mikey sighed, laying his head on its side, on the cot next to Leo.
"Ok. just not too long, Dee? I suck at keeping secrets," he whispered, Donatello nodded, it pained him enough to make the decision, but he had to do what would help Leo heal. The small family returned to silence, listening to the steady beeping of the heart monitor and watching the comforting rise and fall of Leo's chest. In fact, it took them a moment to notice when Leo's arm started to move. It traveled slowly up to his arm, where the iv was stuck in, and then back down to his leg, which was heavily bandaged. They both held their breath, staring at Leo's face when the leader in blue's cobalt eyes snapped open.
"Leo!" Mikey exclaimed, face lighting up. "You're ok?" it came out as a question, and Leo managed a weak smile underneath his oxygen mask.
"Hey, Mikey, ow…" he winced. "Leg hurts."
"I know." Don soothed, putting a hand on Leo's shoulder. He momentarily forgot any concerns except to bring his older brother comfort. "It'll hurt a bit, but you're going to be alright. Anything else hurts?" Leo blinked, and then his eyes grew wide in worry. That's when Donatello knew something was desperately wrong. "Leo?" he lifted the mask gently, since Leo was now conscious, and set it aside. "Talk to me Leo, what's wrong?"
"Leg…" Leo breathed. "Where's my leg?" Don looked down at the pair of legs on the cot next to him, still very attached to Leo.
"Your leg's right here." Mikey said in a squeaky voice, "see?" he tickled the base of Leo's foot, to no reaction. Leo reached down and pawed the bandage.
"It's gone, the rest of it's gone." he gasped, "Donnie, I can't feel the rest of my leg. Why can't I feel the rest of my leg?" Don swallowed, tears filling his eyes.
"I don't know, hold on." he gasped, reaching to pinch Leo's calf. "Feel anything?" Leo shook his head, eyes wide.
"Donnie, it's gone. Why is it gone?" he asked pleadingly, "is the bandage too tight? Why can't I feel my leg?!" he was panicking, and his heart rate sped up.
"Leo, sh, sh, calm down." Don pleaded. This was just what they needed, he's been worried of course, about the future mobility of Leo's leg, but not being able to feel it? It was just a cut, a deep one at that, but just a cut. Then he blinked. Or was it? That poison had stopped Leo's heart, was that it's only function? How did Donnie know that Bishop's antidote wasn't wrong, that the poison hadn't also paralyzed his brother's legs? What did Donnie know, really, about the poison?
"Yeah bro, it's ok." Mikey comforted, "you'll be ok."
"Then why is it gone, Mikey?" Leo pleaded, "I mean, I can feel it under my hand, but I can't feel my leg!" he was growing near hysterics. "Tell me, Donnie!"
"Leo, the ah, there was a kraang poison on the blade." he spoke softly, going into what his brother's called, 'doctor don' mode. "It infected your bloodstream and stopped your heart. We got you alive again and got the poison out of your system today, but I think it did more than affect your heart. I think... I think this kraang poison paralyzed your leg." he took a deep breath, looking away. "I don't know if it's permanent or not, I'm sorry. I didn't know until you said that, I don't know anything about this stupid poison!" Now, surprisingly, it was Leo who comforted.
"Hey, Don, it's alright. I'm sure it's not permanent, besides, Raph helped me build up my leg strength before, and he'll do it again." Don sucked in his breath involuntarily as it came rushing back. Raph, they still had yet to tell Leo about Raph. "Donnie? Mikey, what's wrong? Hey, where is Raph?" Leo struggled to sit up. "Raph?" he called into the lair.
"Oh, he's not here right now," Mikey said in a falsely cheery voice, though it sounded amazingly real. "Raph, uh, he went to spend some time with the Mutanimals, I dunno when he'll be back. But don't worry, just focus on getting better. We need you, fearless." he added with a small wistful smile, the only thing about his demeanor that suggested the whole truth was not being given. Leo frowned, nodding.
"Oh, yeah, ok." he lay back down. "Donnie, it's not your fault."
"I know." Don lied, of course, it was his fault! Leo looked at him gently.
"But if this is permanent, I can't be the leader anymore. If Raph doesn't want to, do you think you will?" Don felt like he'd been stabbed. He didn't know what to say, so he put a hand on Leo's shoulder gruffly.
"We'll see about you not being able to lead." he snorted, "if I know you one bit, you're gonna be walking by next month." Leo smiled softly.
"Yeah, probably." he agreed, then narrowed his eyes. "Especially with Raph to help me." just as the leader in blue had seen before, the two other turtles stiffened, however slightly, at this sentence. "Can I get something to eat? I'm starving."
"Yeah, right away!" Mikey leaped to his feet and dashed to the kitchen. Leo watched him go and Don stood, he walked to his computer.
"You'll be on your feet in no time," he repeated as he sat down to take notes on something. Leo looked at Donnie carefully. He'd been crying recently, very recently. The leader in blue knew something wasn't right, and that something was what his brothers were hiding from him. Something about Raph.
"How long was I out?" he asked suddenly.
"Huh?" Don looked at him. "Oh, a little over twenty-four hours, why?"
"Uh huh, and when did Raph get back? He was separated, wasn't he? In that fight?" Leo watched Donatello carefully now, he flinched at Raphael's name.
"Oh, uhm, y'know, he got back a little while after I got you stable, he wasn't that injured," Don said, obviously lying. Leo narrowed his eyes, Don was a horrible liar.
"You liar," he said, glaring at Donnie with eyes of steel. Don gaped at him.
"What? What do you mean? What makes you think I'm lying?" he asked, too quickly, Mikey returned with a sandwich and Leo turned to face him.
"Mikey, when did Raph get back, after he was separated?" he asked. Don muttered a curse under his breath, Mikey replied smoothly.
"Raph? He got back just after we did, almost had a hernia until you were stable, why?" Leo looked triumphantly at them both, though very angry as well.
"You're both lying to me! I knew it! Where is he, tell me!" He sat up, awkwardly because he couldn't use his left leg below mid-thigh. "Raph!" he yelled, cupping his hands. "Raphael!"
"Stop, stop!" Mikey suddenly begged, face contorted in sorrow. Leo immediately silenced and looked at them both in annoyance.
"Donnie, what the shell is going on, where is my brother?" he insisted, Don swallowed thickly. Tears falling from his cheeks.
"Leo he's…" Don could barely say it. "Dead. Raphael is dead."
Leo stared at Donatello, and then at Mikey, they were both crying openly now. But that couldn't be right, it couldn't be true! Raph had told him he would come home, he had promised! The leader in blue blinked, not understanding. Raph, dead? Raph, a lifeless body, grown cold? Raphael, not fighting? Not moving constantly like he always was? No, that wasn't possible. That wasn't right. But the looks on their faces told him they both believed it, Don would never believe that unless he was one hundred percent sure.
"What?" it came out as a croak. "How...what?"
"He never came home!" Mikey burst out sobbing miserably, "and I went looking for him last night, Donnie said I could but he stayed here with you. The warehouse we fought in was burned down to the ground, there was barely remains of his sais, Leo! Raph is gone!" Mikey dove into his brother's arms and hugged him tightly, Leo returned it, numb. Raph, he was gone. Dead. Burned to a crisp, probably completely disintegrated.
"I'm sorry I lied." Don was crying too, "I didn't want to impede your progress, but I'm a horrible liar, especially with this." he joined the group hug. "And I don't know what to do, Leo. We'll try to help you get your strength up, but I Don't know what will happen. I don't know if your leg will be healed, or paralyzed forever, I just don't know!" Leo comforted both his siblings, though grieving himself.
"It's alright." he promised, "we'll get through this. We can do it, for Raph. he wouldn't want us to give up. Alright? For Raph?"
"For Raph." they echoed, still locked in the embrace. The sandwich lay abandoned on the floor, and no one seemed to care, they remained that way until Mikey was the one to break it up, sitting back with tears in his eyes.
"I'm hungry now too." he declared, they both laughed. It felt wrong, so wrong. Why should they be laughing, when their brother was dead, not even leaving them a body to bury? Yet they laughed, crying still, but they laughed. It would never be the same, now, never. Leo just wished his last words to Raph hadn't been a request for the red-masked turtle to come home.
Dun Dun Dun… DON'T HATE ME! 0-0 I promise you'll find out more as the story goes on, :D. Also, we'll be getting more Raph soon….BUT NO SPOILING *claps a hand over mouth* Thanks for reading and please review!
Until Tuesday,
-C.J.L.