I'm grateful to everyone who has read the first chapter.
I also hope that this chapter will do better than the first. I would appreciate an advice from the readers.
thanks again.
"What the-"
I could never decipher how someone so tiny could be so destructive.
"No, seriously you-you're not gonna- put it back!.. Motherfucker!"
Crash!
I could also never decipher the seriousness of her promises.
"I told you not to mess with me, Sasuke! I warned you!"
Shortly after wordlessly entering her apartment, I realized my mistake: I should've never come. I told her so. Instead of kicking me out with the same indifferance she held on the way here, she silently walked to the door, me in tow, and locked it.
I explained that I was sorry but I was not a good man, I could not stay by her. Dolly started kicking and screaming, and soon it turned into a whole new level of a temper-tantrum.
I notice how close she is and snatch her wrists, trying to pin her down. It always comes to this: Her lashing out on me and me being sorry.
She thrashes around and tries to claw at my face, but I simply overpower her.
"Fuck! It's enough! Just-just stop being a kid!"
She stops and suddenly I remember how small she is. She is a fucking kid... I can't smell her fake perfume anymore - Suddenly, I get a waft of wet ground in fall.
"Doll! Sakura... just. Just calm down now, okay? Just relax, I'm not leaving you, I promise.
-...
-I promise!
I look at her expectantly while emphasizing, as if I deserve her trust. I feel a terrible churn in my stomach. Maybe its just an anticipation, maybe, its dread..
She is pinned by me in a compromising and uncomfortable position against a wall. And still she manages to get me anxious. Is this because of her undeniable intuition?
I notice the bottom of her head softly brushing against an old family clock. The clock hits two am, and chimes loudly.
She is somehow calmed by the simple melody of three notes.
Her gaze is steady as she makes a threat worth my fury:
"If you dare leave me again, Sasuke, I will never look your way. No matter what your mama tells mine I wont come to see you and I will still be happy- with someone else - in spite of your rage and self-destruction... I know fucking well you crave for my reaction," she releases a bitter laugh, "for me..."
Fuck, I love her.
I try to smother the uneasy tugging on my heart.
'Someone - who?'
She thinks she's in control, though I'm best at winning in her own games. Guess that's the reason why she chose me to play with.
'Maybe my little Dolly likes being a loser?'
I push the thought back for later. I will have plenty of time for self-judgement on the train after all.
"You lying, Dolly, you always are."
I throw her words back at her, the words that will remain between us forever.
Why does it always come to this? Her letting me break her heart and me - crushing it.
She is furious. Barely holding back tears and swallowing the lump in her throat. Her tense shoulders warn me that she's dangerous at the moment and fully capable of fulfilling her promise, which would be such a waste. Although, her sad green-green-green eyes tell a different story.
So naive and so young she is.
I'm suddenly thrown in a different time. When my Sakura wore high-wasted pants on Sunday evenings, making her legs look longer and her silly red shoes betraying childishness. Her mom used to whisper to my aunt Mai with a smile how she noticed my gaze lingering on Dolly's tiny waist.
Her walking me to the station only to demand softly.
'Stay'
Only I could recognize the underlying desperate note. The slight hitch in her words. She was not demanding.
She was begging.
I remember staying silent. Knowing she had more to say.
'And if you cant stay'
'Take me with you'
But how could I? Take her away from Birmingham to New York. Our hometown would be so gloomy without her nervous presence. It could never make the welcome familiarity of home.
What purpose would I have in life if I had no home to return to?
No sweet bitterness of terribly missing her. No late afternoons spent in forgetting.
No furious phone calls, threatening, demanding, suffocating, provocative.
No pleasure of coming back to see her neat facade break- in tow with her heart- all over again.
Just like now.
I hesitantly release her wrists. Enough for her to slip away to hold a comfortable distance between us.
"You know, you won't be spending the night here."
"I know."
"You wont dare to leave again!"
"I won't."
"Don't you dare leave again."
"I promise."
She relaxes her tense figure. Only enough for me to wander if she had become taller. She was reaching my chin now with the bottom of her head.
She embraces me and it's so childishly selfish. Her arms around my form. Trapping my own arms. Not letting me reciprocate and not letting me leave.
"It's late, Sakura..."
I manage to escape the sweet trap of her slender arms only to hold her myself. Brushing my fingers through her sun-kissed hair. The smell drifting to me so young. Always young.
"One of us keeps lying, Sasuke", she starts her eyes sad, suddenly older and wiser. I recognize the damage I have inflicted upon her myself, "I think it's you."
I don't answer her accusation. Just attach my lips to the line of her hair.
"Go to sleep, Doll. You're tired."
She looks directly in my eyes.
"You're the lair... and the cheater."
I know the look. She remembers my affair in New York my mamma couldn't obviously stop chattering about.
She has no idea.
"Dolly, she means nothing. It's you- it was always all about just you." I try to stay calm.
"You fucked her."
"Yes."
"You enjoyed it."
"Yes."
"But you love me.."
"..."
She detaches herself from me and moves to her bed.
The covers blue and tasteless. Pillow red and clashing horribly with her hair.
She looks irresistible lying there leaving no room for me.
"Stay at least till I fall asleep."
.
.
.
Review, please.