ACT 1
"In all secrets there is a kind of guilt, however beautiful or joyful they may be, or for what good end they may be set to serve. Secrecy means evasion and evasion means a problem to the moral kind."

– Gilbert Parker

CHAPTER I

John Sheppard put a fist to his face as he stifled a yawn. Even though years of military service had forced him to be an early riser, he did not favor early mornings. Oh, sure, he could fake cheerfulness (usually after several strong cups of coffee) but that was normally only to annoy anyone who, like him, was not a morning person.

For example: Rodney McKay.

John suspected that McKay was not a 'morning person' only because he kept odd hours, and was always working when he should probably be sleeping.

He held back another yawn, or tried to. This morning was different. Actually, the last few days had been off. He'd been having headaches, and though they were more annoying than anything, he was exhausted. And no matter how much sleep he seemed to get, it was never enough. He let his P90 hang by its sling as he rubbed his face with both hands, trying in vain to will the persistent dull ache away.

Doctor Beckett had only cleared him for this milk run with the promise of taking the rest of the day off. John agreed, took the meds for his headache, and left to get geared up. The meds either didn't do much, or hadn't kicked in yet, but he could push through this. He'd been through worse; a little headache was nothing compared to a bullet or stab wound.

He liked this job, and thoroughly enjoyed this posting. Even with the funky life-sucking aliens bent on devouring the human population; he liked it here. He felt like he belonged, much more than he'd ever felt on Earth.

A small part of him wished that travel to and from Earth was easy - quick. But travel on the Daedalus took three weeks. Three weeks there, maybe two weeks of leave, and three weeks back…. It was too much time to be away. Besides, he didn't have anyone on Earth who would want to see him.

No matter how much a part of him wanted to see them.

He squashed that line of thought quickly, and pushed it to the very back of his mind. Along with the bitterness (regret) and the dozen other emotions that came with it. They had no place here, and no place in the upcoming mission.

Besides… he'd burned his bridges and wasn't confident they could be rebuilt anyway.

As he neared the Gateroom, he could already hear Rodney trying to convince Ronon why he should be excited for this mission. John didn't get the impression that Ronon was a morning person by choice either. Teyla was most level headed of the team, and there had only been a few times in the last two years he'd caught her being anything but amicable.

He saw his team and Dr. Weir waiting in the shadow of the Stargate as he entered the Gateroom. Rodney was uncharacteristically cheerful this morning and he gave John a megawatt smile when he saw him, "Well, look who showed up."
John only just managed not to glare at him, and instead chose to look at Elizabeth Weir, "Been waiting long?"
She smiled, "No."

"Good." John gave a boyish grin, hoping it hid how tired/bad he actually felt. He looked at the Gate tech waiting at the DHD and waved a hand to signal her to start dialing PM7-556. Teyla had recommended the planet for its trade goods last night. When the MALP had been sent this morning, McKay had all but swooned when he detected energy readings around the Gate.

He felt Teyla's eyes on him and he looked at her. After longer than two years working and living with the same people, you get to know those people pretty well. That's how a team worked: they became family. So when Teyla directed a questioning look his way: are you okay? John gave a small smile and a nod that he hoped was convincing enough given the throbbing at the center of his skull. John wasn't sure if she bought it, but she didn't call him on it and he was grateful for that.

Elizabeth looked at Rodney, "Energy readings aside, I want you to establish contact with the locals first."
"But-"
John hurried to cut him off, "Food and friends first. Got it."

Rodney mumbled something about tava beans, and John felt the astrophysicist glare at him but he ignored it in favor of watching the unstable vortex (affectionately known as the 'Kawoosh') flash toward them, then recede into the event horizon.

"Good luck," Elizabeth said, and he smiled at her. Rodney was still pouting and unhappy that his little science project would be delayed, and John gave him a grin as he walked past him toward the glowing event horizon, "Don't worry, Rodney. I'm sure we'll find time to check it out."

John stepped out of the Stargate into a clearing. The dirt had been worn down over time by many feet, and carts laden with goods. Beyond the clearing around the gate, a thick forest sprouted up and reached into the sky. Long reaching branches cast shadows at the edges of the clearing and the canopy of the trees cast deep shadows from a midday sun.

The one part about this job that John loved, possibly more than flying, was gate travel. He'd started to adopt General O'Neill's outlook: anyone who didn't want to go through the Stargate was whacked. It hadn't taken him long, just one trip actually, to understand why the General felt that way. As John leveled his P90, scanning the area around the gate while Ronon and Teyla followed, he knew that stepping out on alien worlds would never get old.

Ronon had his particle magnum at the ready, ever cautious. It took only seconds to realize there was no danger here. John nodded to Ronon before entering a low ready stance, letting the sling take the P90's weight.

Rodney was the last through before the Gate deactivated. "How 'bout this?" he said, and John half turned to face him silently. McKay gestured to his teammates with a broad sweep of his arm, "You guys can go trade or whatever." John raised an eyebrow and saw Ronon and Teyla share a knowing look. Rodney pointed to himself, "And I'll go do science."

"Or," John said firmly, "We stick together, meet the locals, then we can all check it out."
"But-"
John gave him a pointed look, "Later, McKay." The scientist grumbled and pouted; John motioned for Teyla to take the lead. She started down the well worn path leading deeper into the thick forest. With Teyla on point, John just behind and McKay and Ronon bringing up the rear, John allowed himself a moment to examine his surroundings more than just a quick sweep for danger. He trusted his team to keep an eye out.

It really was magnificent… and eerie. Massive tree trunks sprouted from the ground, and John was certain they rivaled the most ancient of Earth's redwoods. Some of the roots that the worn path wound around, reached his knees. The treetops themselves seemed to disappear into the darkness. This deep in the forest, the canopy above had all but choked out the midday sun, casting a maleficent air. The thick ground foliage, moss and dense layer of fog rolling in didn't help the image.

John felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, and he looked at Teyla just ahead of him. She didn't seem to be fazed by the spooky forest – though, she had been here many times before. He glanced back at Rodney who seemed fidgety- glancing around like some bog monster was going to leap out at him. Though… in Pegasus, that was always a possibility. He swept a glance over Teyla, who still seemed perfectly at ease.

John posed a question, "Anyone else getting a bad feeling from this place?"
"Ahhhh," he heard McKay say, "Y-yes?"

He stepped up his pace to walk at Teyla's right side. He gave her a questioning look, but she returned it with a reassuring smile and didn't slow her pace, "The forest here has always felt this way." John looked down as he stepped over a large root. "It will fade," she said.

"Good to know." John raised his eyes and felt relief when he could make out daylight less than half a klick away. He forced himself to keep pace with Teyla and not run ahead and out into the unoppressive sunlight. He felt like something in this forest was pressing in on him…

He didn't like it.

The team walked on silently, avoiding the typical forest obstacles and following the path. John thought he'd heard an LSD turn on behind him, and he figured McKay was looking for ways to not worry about the creepy forest. Just another day in Pegasus.

They were close now, and John could make out an open plain beyond the trees. He thought he could also make out the defined outlines of buildings. Rooftops with smoke sta- "Woah!"

The already painful ache in his head flared, and John stopped, turning on his heel, "McKay-!"
"Yesyesyes, hold on," The scientist was looking down at the handheld scanner. He watched McKay turn on the spot, before facing John and Teyla again. He reached up to rub at his temple, hoping to ease the pain away. A quick glance toward Ronon told him that the Satedan was losing his patience as well.

"Okay," McKay said finally, "There it is again."
John shifted his weight, "What, Rodney?"

"The energy signature the MALP picked up. It just spiked." Rodney was looking at him with hope in his eyes. Like a child who wanted candy. John weighed his options: go against orders or listen to Rodney whine about it. Whining would not help his increasing headache. He sighed heavily, and Rodney grinned a bit knowing that he was about to get his way. John walked closer to the scientist, "What have you got?"

He heard a quiet 'Yes!' from Rodney before he turned his attention back to his scanner. John grabbed McKay's attention again, "I just want to know what you have. Doesn't mean we're gonna check it out right now."

Rodney deflated, but gave his findings anyway. "There's an energy field surrounding a large portion of the forest, most of the forest surrounding the Gate, in fact. It seems to stop at the treeline."

"Okay," John asked, peeking at the display of the scanner in McKay's hand, "Is it dangerous?"

Rodney let his hands drop in a show of exasperation, "How should I know? Look, I can't even pinpoint the source of the power. There's too much interference from the other energy sources."

All eyes looked at him sharply.
"There's more than one?" John asked.

"Yes. Didn't I say that?" Rodney look from one face to another. Teyla and Ronon's blank faces spoke for themselves and John's expression was expectant. McKay sighed and looked at the LSD again, "Okay, hold on. There's a source close…" Once again he turned on the spot and only stopped when the scanner let out a small bleep. "That way," he said pointing toward the edge of the treeline. John looked out toward the buildings he had seen before and longed to be out of the forest. After a moment of consideration he spoke, "Let's check it out on our way back."

"But-" Rodney started and John faced him, "Food and friends first, then you can play." He started walking again, and called over his shoulder, "It's not going anywhere, McKay." Rodney groaned and dragged his feet as they made their way to the edge of the treeline.

John stopped several feet from the edge of the forest, wary of the strange field McKay had said was there. He didn't see anything, but that didn't mean it wasn't there. "It's safe… right?"
He heard Rodney sigh somewhere behind him, "Again, how should I know?"

"I have been here many times," John cast a quick glance at Teyla as she spoke, "We have suffered no ill effects from this… energy field."
John nodded to himself, "So safe, huh?"

Ronon pushed past all of them, apparently fed up with all the waiting. He passed through the field with no light, or sound, or shimmer of energy. It was as if there was no field. The big man turned and faced his team with a grin, "See? No problem."

John often prided himself on his instincts. The ability to sense danger, to feel something about to happen that would usually end up with him in pain. He'd felt something wrong about this whole place since he got here. He'd ignored it, chalked it up to the overall creepiness of the forest around them. But now… now it was screaming at him. He didn't want to walk through.

But at the same time… he did. He really really wanted to be out in the sunlight, to be able to see the clear blue sky again instead of endless darkness. Teyla said the feeling would leave once they exited the forest. That information had been driving him forward, toward the sunlight.

He squinted out at the mountains beyond the village, noticing a faint buzzing in his head, and then it was gone a second later. Maybe it had been there before now, but he wasn't sure. Rodney and Teyla moved forward to follow Ronon, and John moved too. Taking a breath, he forced his feet forward to the open grassy field beyond.

It took him one, two, three steps to reach the energy field. One more step through the invisible barrier and his legs buckled under him, his knees hitting the soft dirt. He felt hands on his shoulders. His vision swam and tilted and he grabbed at whoever had a hold of him, seeking stability. He gripped their arms as the pain behind his eyes reached new heights, and he felt himself falling further to ground.

Was someone calling his name? (JohnJohnJohn!)

His mind was buzzing, buzzing so, so loud. It was drowning everything else out. The ache he thought was painful before, was annoying by comparison. It was now a knife twisting into the depths of his skull.

He opened his eyes.
The shape of a face with copper hair.
Teyla…

Then the world cut to black.

-TBC

-2,399 words

A/N: Beta read by the lovely KeianaLunae :D

I revisited this chapter for a few reasons. First and foremost, grammar and spelling and a slew of other things. Hopefully, it's much improved. But if at any point you find something while reading, pleasepleaseplease, point it out. My goal in writing is to not only enjoy myself and have this outlet, but to improve.

Another reason is pacing and details. In some places, there were details that didn't need to be there, and in other they were lacking. Rodney's conversation with Ronon before leaving, for example. I felt that this didn't really lend much to the chapter, and since it's all from John's POV anyway (and he's got a monster headache) the details wouldn't be real clear to him either. The same with pacing - I didn't feel that this chapter was flowing like I felt it should.

I hope it flows better now.

-Jess