Disclaimer: Kishi owns Naruto.
A/N: Bits of crack and bits of fluff. This story is basically feel-good…as in, I write when the manga depresses me and I want to feel better^^
Conspirator 1: Sakura
For a moment, Naruto and Sasuke sat there in shock.
Then, Sasuke muttered, "Now I am considering ditching this place again."
"What!? No!" cried Naruto immediately. "You can't do that!"
"Didn't you hear Kakashi?" snapped Sasuke. "They're gonna make us get married! To each other!"
"We'll talk them out of it!" insisted Naruto. "I mean, it's such a crazy idea—"
"Yeah, so crazy that they wouldn't have suggested it unless they were dead serious," Sasuke pointed out.
"Yeah…but still…" murmured Naruto. "You're not really leaving, are you?"
"No, of course not," sighed Sasuke. "Not over something this stupid."
"Okay, that's good," said Naruto, relieved. He lay down again, snuggled under his covers, and yawned. "When we get out, we'll yell at them about it until they change their minds."
"Yes, I suppose yelling at people and getting them to do what you want is your specialty now," drawled Sasuke.
"Exactly," grinned Naruto. "Just look how well it worked on you."
But despite Naruto's yelling—and Sasuke's less coherent fury—Kakashi and the other top shinobi of Konoha insisted that an arranged marriage was the only way to resolve the feud. Better yet, they had refused to let Naruto and Sasuke out of Kakashi's office until their names had been signed on a marriage contract—in blood.
"Ah, how romantic," chanted Kakashi, looking the contract over. "The blood of the Fourth Hokage and the blood of the Uchiha clan, together on this piece of paper, symbolizing the resolution of old feuds and the hope for future unity and—"
"YOU BASTARD, WE DIDN'T AGREE TO THIS!!!" interrupted Sasuke.
"THIS IS SO PRIMITIVE!!!" added Naruto.
"Primitive or not, it works," said Kakashi, business-like once again. "Anyways, if you're out of the hospital, then get to work. Welcome to the ANBU. You two will be partners, of course."
"Oh, I'm glad you're not being a pain about trusting Sasuke," said Naruto happily.
"Of course not," replied Kakashi smoothly. "I know that I can leave you safely in the hands of your wife."
"AAHAHHHAAA!!!" Naruto erupted into laughter.
"What. Did. You. Just. Say," demanded Sasuke, voice low and dangerous.
"Well, Uchiha's face is definitely prettier than Naruto-kun's," noted one kunoichi.
"And for the last few years, we've been watching the knight-in-shining-armor pursue his damsel-in-distress," added another.
Naruto laughed even more uproariously. "AAHHA—AH, I CAN'T BREATHE!!!"
"Let me get back on Konoha's shitlist by killing you two," snarled Sasuke at the offending kunoichi.
"Yes, yes, that's wonderful!" sang Kakashi cheerily. "But come to think of it… Naruto, Sasuke, since you're newlyweds, I should at least give you today off. Very well, your missions will begin tonight. Until then, enjoy the sunshine and the matrimonial bliss!"
And with that, Kakashi threw them both out of his office.
"Damn them all," muttered Sasuke.
Naruto stopped laughing long enough to taunt, "Haha, Sasuke, you're my wife! Make me a sandwich!"
"Why you—!" roared Sasuke, and so began their first fight since Sasuke's return, which Sasuke easily dominated because Naruto could not stop laughing long enough to mount a respectable counterattack.
To Naruto's disappointment, Sasuke vanished at the first mention of interacting with other people. Naruto did not know whether Sasuke still held some lingering grudge against Konoha or feared that people still held some lingering grudge against him. Naruto suspected that it was a little bit of both. At any rate, when Naruto suggested that they see if their year-mates were around, Sasuke promptly leapt off, probably to haunt some deserted corner of Konoha.
"Stupid bastard…" muttered Naruto, but he was not alone for long.
"Hey, Naruto!" came a familiar voice.
"Sakura-chan!" said Naruto, turning to see her approaching.
"I see you're out of the hospital. Are you all healed up now?" asked Sakura.
"Yep!" nodded Naruto. "And Kakashi-sensei gave us the day off because—oh, that's right! Sakura-chan, have you heard—"
"Yes, I've heard," interrupted Sakura, grinning. "Kakashi-sensei told us all about the brilliant plan to heal the rift by having you two get married. I think it's a great idea! It makes everything easier."
"Ugh, I think it's an awful idea!" scowled Naruto.
"Speaking of which, where is Sasuke-kun?" asked Sakura.
"Who knows?" shrugged Naruto. "He's being annoying and antisocial."
"So…he's not around?" asked Sakura, looking like she wanted to talk about something.
"No," replied Naruto. "What's up, Sakura-chan?"
"Um…" began Sakura nervously. She bit her lip and looked away. "Naruto… I've wanted to say this for a while, but there wasn't time while everyone was busy fighting…and…well… Oh, Naruto, I'm so sorry!"
"Sorry?" repeated Naruto, surprised. "What for?"
"I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise to you!" cried Sakura, her voice breaking. "I said that I'd help you protect our bonds and make Team 7 whole again, but I went back on that promise. You kept believing in yourself and in your own ability to bring Sasuke-kun back. But me… I gave up. I should have been helping you, but I didn't believe in you."
"Sakura-chan, there's nothing to be sorry for," said Naruto quickly. "You meant well, I know that. Besides, I didn't always believe in myself. I doubted myself a lot. I didn't know how things would turn out, and, well…I could easily have been wrong."
"But I…" began Sakura.
"Anyways," interrupted Naruto, "it's all over now." He grinned. "Luckily, things did turn out okay in the end, and what's important now is that we keep it that way!"
"Oh, thank you, Naruto!" cried Sakura, pulling Naruto into a hug. "I'm so glad… I'm so glad that we have a chance to rebuild Team 7!"
"Yeah!" agreed Naruto, hugging her back. "I promise, I'll drag that jerk back into human company soon enough, and before you know it, it'll be just like old times, only…" Naruto paused and frowned.
"Only better," finished Sakura, smiling softly. "Because we're older and wiser…but still together."
"Exactly!" agreed Naruto. After a moment, Naruto said, "You know, Sakura-chan, this whole marriage thing…it's just a piece of paper, you know."
"Oh, how can you say that?" chided Sakura. "Marriage is a very serious—"
"I meant Kakashi-sensei's brilliant idea about making me and Sasuke get married," clarified Naruto.
"Oh," said Sakura, adjusting to the change of subject.
"Anyways, like I said, it's got nothing to do with…uh…love and stuff," said Naruto. "I wouldn't mind if Sasuke, you know, got a girlfriend and had a real relationship."
"Sasuke-kun get a girlfriend!" laughed Sakura, her giggle a little too high-pitched. "What a ridiculous idea!"
"Not that ridiculous," countered Naruto. "Maybe that bastard's finally gonna start being nice to girls who like him. I'm just saying, Sakura-chan, you don't have to give up on him just because…"
"Oh, nonsense!" said Sakura immediately. "If you mean romantically, I've long since given up on Sasuke-kun."
"Sakura-chan…" said Naruto slowly. Unvoiced were the words, I think you're lying to me…again.
"Now, really! Don't judge me by a crush I had when I was 12-years-old!" exclaimed Sakura, talking too fast. "I only liked Sasuke-kun because he was good-looking, popular, and the top of our class!"
Naruto frowned. "You cared about him, Sakura-chan."
"Yes, as a teammate and a friend!" insisted Sakura hastily. "Just like you!"
"What?" Naruto's eyebrows shot up. "Like me??"
"Oh, yes!" said Sakura. She suddenly looked oddly triumphant, as if she had found a brilliant winning strategy in a chess game. "I was upset that he left, I missed him a lot, and I wanted to have him back. It was exactly like you! And heck, I think you were more passionate about it than I was. So, I can't possibly be in love with him, can I?"
"Sakura-chan," said Naruto skeptically, "you sound like you're…well…trying to convince yourself."
"I'm serious!" declared Sakura. "Besides, Sasuke-kun doesn't feel anything special for me."
"How do you know?" teased Naruto. "Maybe he did before he left, and now…"
"Oh, no, I don't think so, not at all," said Sakura immediately. "I mean…" Sakura frowned a little. "There was one weird incident, right after we were all put on teams. We almost kissed…"
Naruto suddenly looked very uncomfortable.
"But anyways, nothing like that ever happened again," said Sakura dismissively. "I don't think I got anywhere with him. I'm happy that we became teammates and friends, but that's all. Besides…I cared about him and wanted to help him, but I didn't really understand him. I still don't, not the way that you do. I've never had the connection with him that you do, Naruto."
"But Sakura-chan…" began Naruto.
"And things are so different now," continued Sakura. "I… I didn't believe in him as you did, Naruto. Even though I never stopped caring about the good person that he used to be, I didn't bring back that person. You were the one who did that."
"Wait, why are we talking about me?" demanded Naruto.
"After all that's happened, I just don't think that I'm the one for Sasuke-kun," said Sakura firmly. "And if I can't even understand him or believe in him the way you do, then I don't think he's the one for me either."
"Do you really feel that way?" said Naruto.
"I do," declared Sakura. Presently, she remembered that she had been heading somwehere. "Oh, I've got to be going now. I'm giving a special lesson at the Academy for Konoha's future medics. I'll see you later, Naruto!"
"Bye, Sakura-chan!" replied Naruto.
As Sakura walked away, Naruto considered her words. Sakura had babbled a little at first, but she had definitely seemed to mean what she had said at the end. Still… There was something strange about her behavior. It was almost as if…she had been trying to get some point across without saying it directly. It was quite odd.
But Naruto had long since learned that girls were impossible to understand, so he shrugged it off and forgot about it.
"How much of that conversation was honest, Sakura?"
"None of your business, Ino."
"Oh, c'mon! Have you really gotten over Sasuke-kun?"
"Stop pestering me! Like I said from the beginning, I'm all for this plan."
"You didn't answer my question."
"I… Honestly, I don't know how I feel, about either of those two. But it doesn't matter anyways."
"Are you sure?"
"Oh, c'mon, I'm not stupid. I've come to the same conclusion as everyone else, and I won't waste time on boys who are not interested in me."
"I see."
"Besides, I want them to be happy, especially Naruto. And if we're on the right path, then this will bring them the best happiness of all!"
A/N: Yes, things are afoot…^^