when I get home that night I didn't
go for the bottle of scotch as I usually do. which is a miracle in its self trust me. I went straight into my room instead. while taking off every piece of clothing on my body leaving everything in my wake. My body working on auto not caring about the mess it made. The next second I ready a bath without thinking only realizing what I had done after I touched the scolding hot water with my hand.
I get in not minding the sting I feel when I submerge my whole body. I can slowly feel my tense muscles relaxing. The same ones I strain every day without mercy I tell myself. Slightly criticizing the ungodly working hours I put myself through. I even work until my eyes and mind become mush. But then I close my eyes and the only thing I can see is her. Seeing her occupying my thoughts throughout the day scares the shit out of me.
I only meet her once and she already has such a strong pull on me. The negative thoughts come forward again. Saying "she will never like you. you are a Luthor or did you forget." "you are worthless Luthor what can you really give that girl stop dreaming". I stop and think, they are right what can I really give her other than money. Surely that girl is not about that life. she wouldn't want my money so what can I give her.
I can only be a burden with all these insecurities and faults. Then I notice the water has all but turned cold so I get out momentarily stopping my thought process.
Drying myself and then picking out a nightgown to put over me. I lay there under the covers for a long time after that and when I finally dose of. The most important question that I should have asked myself before comes and hits hard. How will I talk to you if you are not a reporter? This was the thought I asked even when I was sleeping how worthless am I.
Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supergirl, the plot or the characters.
I tried to do everything the reviews suggested and I hope you like this chapter as well as the first one. thank you guys.
S.F