I bet no one saw this coming, I didn't either. Until I was like, what the hell! Probably one of the worst written chapters I've written but you have to forgive me. It was a hard chapter to write because I know nothing of how the guy was feeling. I just hope its something like this.

I know I'm behind my stories, I promise I'll update this weekend! Seriously, I will. Viral pinkie swear!

Read. You can review but don't ask for this to turn into a story, because I can't turn it into a story.

How do you live when the one that fixed your broken heart walked away from your life, shattering your heart with every step they took. The look on Tori's face was engraved in Beck's memory and it replayed like a nightmare. She saved him, fixed him but he never gave her his heart because it wasn't hers to own.

He cared for Tori as much as one person could care for another he even loved her but he wasn't in love with her. He knew he had her wrapped around his little finger and part of him felt badly for using her for his needs. But she was there when Jade was fooling around with his best friend because that's who Jade truly loved.

When she came in through his door he knew he had broken her, he didn't even have the time to think of a way to keep her there, wrapped in his arms because whether she knew it or not he needed her like she needed him. He was torn about losing Tori but sure as hell wasn't going to show it. He'd be dammed if he did.

He texted her, asking questions as to why now? Why didn't she give him the time to explain himself and his intentions? Why couldn't they talk it out? He even texted her 'I swear I miss you just like you miss me.'

He tired everything through text, he knew if he called her his voice would give him away, and he couldn't keep leading her on even if it were for his selfish needs. It wasn't fair for her, and it killed him.

That Monday he kept low but his eyes indiscreetly searched for her dull brown ones. If he was feeling like shit she'd be feeling worse. But he couldn't find her anywhere. He almost felt numb thinking he'd literally broke a person so bad that they would go crazy.

But then he heard her. Her laugh; full, loud and lively. His head snapped towards her direction so fast he was sure he could have snapped his neck and seriously injure himself.

She was standing a few feet away, laughing along with Cat and next to them was his best friend Andre reciting something that happened that weekend.

Tori didn't look torn up; she didn't even look like she spent hours on trying to hide her puffy eyes and pale face, and the one Beck witnessed Friday night.

How does a person bounce back in two days?

A person who didn't really love the other, Beck concluded. His blood run cold, anger and confusion fired inside him. How come he felt like shit and she was happier than ever.

Beck took a step forward, going to demand answers but the bell rang, students started to walk across the hall in different directions. Beck saw her walking in a different direction he was suppose to go for his class, his teeth grinding in frustration.

Beck almost snapped when she finally looked his way during Sikowitz improv class and offered him a small smile. Not a flirty smirk, a wink or a giggle because he was looking at her with his signature smirk. But a real smile. He'd seen that smile whenever they were done fooling around in his sheets and she made him talk. She never asked him personal questions about his life at home but rather weird questions and asked for his opinion on things. They laid still tangled in each other but he would hold her against his chest, he'd feel her every move, every breathe she took, even every blink she made. Beck wasn't much of a cuddler, but once in a while it felt nice having her in his arms.

He couldn't even return the small gesture. Weeks passed and he never built enough nerve to actually go up to her ask questions, not in front of people. He always fought with himself when he was alone in his RV his thumb running across the call button with her number already put in. But every time it was the same thing. He chucked his phone on his bed and grabbed his car keys driving to one place he knew he wouldn't go completely crazy.

"Hey man." Andre offered as he opened the passenger door.

Beck wanted company, the last weeks alone really did a number to him.

"Hey dude." Beck said as he drove off to a second hand music shop in downtown Hollywood.

"What's up?" Andre said after a second of silence. He took the chance to look at his best friend; he was almost scared to ask when he looked at him. He looked stressed and worked up. He'd seen him like this before when Jade ended things after confessing she had feelings for him. Jade and Andre had spent time together writing a song and she had developed feelings, he could lie and say he didn't feel anything back. But he was a good friend and didn't do anything about it. Beck blamed him and Andre expected that, he told him the truth but gave him his word on not trying anything with her. Jade was Beck's first love, only love. Andre wasn't about to go after someone else's love so he was happy when Beck asked him to go along with him to this music shop.

"Nothing much man, hanging out. What about you? What's new? I feel like I haven't spoken to you in years." Beck said, trying to sound normal, but his mind was somewhere else.

"The usual, my grandma's on some new medication but its making her worse, I've been writing a lot. Tori and I have actually been recording songs left and right. And we haven't talked in weeks, why you missed me?" Andre chuckled. Beck laughed as he punched his shoulder lightly but firmly.

"That's cool, so you and Tori have been hanging out a lot?" Beck asked in a dry tone.

"Uh, yeah. We always write together." Andre said in a 'duh' tone.

"Has she said anything about a boy?" Beck asked before he could swallow the words back down. He parked his car in the lot behind the store. He quickly got out; ignoring the look Andre was giving him.

"Not really. She seems like herself." Andre said looking deeply into Beck's face.

"Oh okay," the answer really through Beck off.

Andre seemed to notice because he didn't ask; he just walked away, slightly worried about his best friend but made a mental note to ask later.

If Tori's not going to be torn up about the two breaking up, why is he making a big deal out of it? It's not like he loved her, right? Plus how long can she really go without him? Two can play this game.

Beck started to talk to girls again, like those dark weeks he thought of Tori never happened. One Friday Beck went home smiling widely, he saw the old Tori when he was pressing Jenny, a leggy, blond cheerleader up against her locker and she was trying hard not to moan so loudly. A small but audible gasp was heard behind him, Beck stopped noticing it but Jenny was trying to get his attention back her. The school was almost empty expect the few kids that stayed after school for one reason or another.

Tori stared at the two with wide eyes before she sadly sent a small smile towards Beck. He noticed her every move and he felt good about getting under her skin. Tori still liked him.

He went home and lay back in his bed, getting his phone out, ready to send her a text asking if she wanted to come to his place and hang out. After he sent her the suggestive text Andre's name popped up with a phone call.

"What's up man?"

"Hey dude, Robbie and Cat found a rager tonight, you down?" Andre's voice sounded excited. Like it did every time he heard of a party.

"I can't, I'm waiting on Tori. I think I have plans tonight." Beck smirked. Andre always thought there were things going on between the two but Beck always assured him that they were just great friends.

"I thought she said she had plans with Luke?"

"Who the fuck is Luke?"

Luke was a golden boy. Jock with amazing vocal skills. He had sandy blond hair and eyes that almost mimicked Zac Efron's. He was the new boy in town and obviously all the girls wanted him, even Tori.

Beck saw the two holding hands and laughing at whatever Robbie was going on and on about. The group still sat at the same table, the tension was obvious but no one dared to ask why.

Tori had brought Luke over to the lunch table that Monday after her date, after she ignored Beck's text messages and calls.

Then he saw it. He saw that flirty look that giggle, the wink. He knew he had lost her to the chump.

He tried getting Jade back but it always ended with him getting hurt, and this time it hurt ten times worse because he didn't have Tori to help him out of his funk.

So he did what he knew best, he hid his real feelings behind his tough exterior. He still went out and hooked up with girls, but it was Tori that was in the back of his mind.

Graduation came as soon as they all prepared for it. Tori and Luke were still together and coincidently going to the same college. Beck decided to enroll in acting classes near his home, pursing acting as a career. He looked her way when they called his name; she clapped along with all their classmates. He found her eyes in a sea of kids, and they smiled.

He kept looking out of the corner of his eyes and saw her reaction when they called Luke's name. She hollered and smiled widely, blowing him a kiss as he walked away with his diploma. Beck's heart cracked at the sight. He knew he was never going to get that reaction out of her; he never would have even if they had stayed together. He treated her like shit, and he finally realized it.

When they called her name he stood up and clapped loudly, smiling at her excited face as she almost slipped off the stage but caught herself. As she passed him, he grabbed her arm gently, pressing her to his side.

"I'm proud of you." Was what he said. She smiled warmly and walked away.

He went to her graduation party but stayed behind and blended with the wall paper. Luke was at her side the whole time, seeing her family enjoy his jokes and cooing whenever he kissed her forehead, ticked him off. But there was nothing he could do.

She left for college and he stayed back. A few months later he found out Luke had broke her heart, he immediately texted her feeding her all this crap that he didn't even mean, hoping for her to come back.

'Please, leave me alone. I appreciate the words, but I need time for myself.'

So he left her alone, a few months later he texted her three simple words, I miss you. He knew Tori was back in town, and he wanted to see her.

'I hate the fact that you text me randomly, saying all the right things when I don't need this. I don't need you to come back into my life whenever you fucking please. Don't you get that I'm over it? I'm over you. I loved you, and you can't even say the same. It's a real shame. Luke may have broken my heart but you broke me. It doesn't feel good does it? Have a great life Beck.'

So he let her go, Tori will always be the girl he fucked up. The girl who he let slip through his fingers because he was never honest with her. But he couldn't say he loved her, he never did. He just wanted her. Now he'll never have her.