"No, Alice you have to give up this imaginary world of yours! This- this Wonderland! You can not keep believing in it. You have no proof. You never were there and you never fell in love with a genie. It just never happened," my father yelled at my, running his shaking fingers through his graying hair. I took a frustrated breathe and stood angrily from my chair in the parlor.
"His name is Cyrus and he is real! He was... " I countered but my sudden burst of energy deflated. His death had nearly crushed me with its weight. I was always tired these days. Always alone.
"Alice," he said coming to stand in front of me, and held my hands in his, "If you do not cede, I will be forced to drastic measures that I do not wish to take. Alice, please. Give up Wonderland." His brown eyes looked into my empty ones, pleading with me but I didn't know what I wanted anymore.
Give up Wonderland. It was as simple as that. I could say I had made it up and deny it and then I'd have my father's love. His approval, his safety, our home. All I had to do was give up Cyrus.
No, I would never move on from Cyrus. Not in a million years. Not in three wishes. Not even in death. Never.
I lifted my chin defiantly, glaring straight into his eyes and told him, "When you truly love someone you don't need proof."
He dropped my hands at the same time as his head. "Then you leave me no choice. I'm taking you to Bethlem Asylum." He walked away from me grabbing his coat from the coat rack and calling for the carriage to be readied.
I sank into the chair behind me, not able to hold it together anymore. It was for the best. I didn't want to live with anyone who didn't believe me. I didn't want to live in England or Wonderland. I didn't want to live without Cyrus.
Without him the world was gray. Without his touch the sun was dull. Without him I was nothing.
I thought about Cyrus all the way to the Asylum. The way his eyes twinkled mischievously when he knew I was up to something. The way his hair occasionally fell into his eyes. I couldn't stop thinking about him no matter what I did. And that just made the pain more acute.
Once we arrived my father lead me inside saying, "I really didn't want to do this but you left me no other options. I'm sorry Alice," and he left for what I presumed to be the last time.
The doctors led me to my room after endless questions about Wonderland and that's when I made the vow. I would stop believing in Wonderland. At least I'd start by saying I didn't and hopefully one day that would become a reality. No pain of what I left behind and what I could've had. If I didn't believe that I didn't lose anything. I made my vow then and there that I would never think of Wonderland as real again.
Although I made this promise, deep down, I knew I could never really not believe. That would be not believing in Cyrus. And I would always believe him. Always. Even in my marble asylum.