They'd destroyed the last remaining piece of Kellogg, and the voice had no longer been bothering Nick. It hadn't for a long time. A part of him felt emptier without it. Nora had sent him home, had left him behind after he told her. He was dangerous, she couldn't trust him anymore. In a way, he understood. She was happier with Preston. Preston who could give her everything she wanted and more. In a way, he was happy for her. The hunk of scrap metal he was just dragged her down. It was better this way.
Ellie had gone out for the night; off to visit an old client of his she really hit it off with. Nick was alone with his thoughts. A cigarette smoldered in an ashtray at his elbow. Nick found himself reading the same line over and over again and not at all taking it in. He needed some air. A walk around the city would do him nicely. Nick shuffled out of his chair, the metal legs tracking a well worn pair of lines on the old linoleum. He reached for the doorknob, twisting it in his metal fist.
It opened and-
" You."
Kellogg was dead. He watched him die, watched Nora pick him off without a hesitation. And yet. And yet Kellogg was standing before him, looking none the worse for wear.
"It would be nice if you didn't shoot me right on your doorstep."
"I should, after everything you did to Nora." Nick's eyes narrowed and he reached for his gun. It was on the desk next to the ashtray. If he let him in, he could grab it quickly and-
"She's not here. You don't have to pretend to hate me."
"It's more than hate."
Kellogg laughed, and cocked his head to the side. "I was in your head with you. You can't lie to me."
Nick took a step back, and then another. Kellogg copied, stepping inside.
"Why here, when you know Nora's not here? Why now?"
"You're alone, aren't you?"
Nick inhaled sharply, backing up against the desk. He fumbled for the gun behind him, lifting it.
"So what, you're here to pick me off?"
"Don't be stupid." Kellogg stepped to the side, watching him. Nick followed him with his eyes, warily. "A little bit of you got mixed in with me, up here." He tapped his temple. "I'm sure you have something similar going on."
"Something like a pulled tooth." Nick muttered, lowering his gun only a little.
"You miss it all the same. Like there's a part of you that's gone."
Nick stared, all but forgetting about the gun in his hands. "How do you-"
"Because I feel it too."
"What?"
"You heard me."
Nick considered it for a second, eyes going back and forth, before he glanced up at Kellogg. "And this is why you're here? To tell me this?"
There was hesitation in his step, Nick could tell. "You know why I'm here."
A look of realization flashed across his face, mouth open in shock.
Kellogg rounded closer, cornering him against the wall. Nick dropped the gun when Kellogg took his wrist. His other hand flew to Kellogg's chest, not quite stopping him yet. Nick knew he shouldn't have let him in, shouldn't have even given him a second to speak. Kellogg lifted his chin, and oh , his mouth was hot, burning him from the inside out.
A ragged gasp choked its way out of his mouth, and he pulled Kellogg closer. "You shouldn't be here."
"For the first time in a long time, you're right."
Nick caught his gaze and held it like a deer in headlights.
Kellogg worked a knee between his thighs; Nick clenched his legs around the intrusion. It didn't do much to stop him. His knee drew along the center seam of his trousers, before grinding upwards. Nick's whole body spasmed, and he couldn't fight it.
In the moment between Nick's boundaries lowering and his loss of control, Kellogg worked the fly of Nick's pants open. His hand skimmed down to the space between his legs. Teasing him with a feather light touch, Kellogg pulled back, only to shove Nick's trousers down past his knees, where they pooled at his feet. He regarded them for a moment, wondering what that meant Kellogg had in store, before he slammed his fingers into him and Nick could no longer focus on anything.
It was different with someone else. The angle sent shockwaves through his body every time Kellogg's hot fingers moved through the wires inside. His palm was flat against Nick's shoulder, holding him fast against the wall. The strength didn't surprise him. Nick could easily have pushed back - he was surprised by the fact that he didn't want to. Just the same as the reason he told himself he was doing this.
"You're scum." He ground out, casting a dirty look at him, chin pressed down against his chest. "Lowest of the low."
"Takes one to know one, baby." Kellogg's fingers tightened at his collar, his thumb dancing at the edge of Nick's lips with each movement. He caught his thumb in his teeth, holding his gaze as he bit down hard.
Kellogg inhaled at once, a sharp intake of breath and then they were belly to belly. Nick's legs spread wider, allowing him purchase.
Something akin to panic passed across his features as Kellogg pressed closer, a thicker heat pushing insistently between his legs. "This too much for you?" His breath was hot too, dual points of heat the only thing he could focus on at that point. Nick couldn't respond; everything was all at once, overwhelming him. The sensation of his hot thumb, too hot still, on Nick's tongue and the pop of the knuckle under the pressure was something he could put his attention to, lavishing attention on this single short digit. His eyes, heavy lidded, met Kellogg's and a foreign sense of pleasure welled up in him. Something he must have left behind when they pulled the plug.
Kellogg thrust all at once, putting his weight on Nick. It was bigger than his fingers, for sure, and a short wail burst from his lips from around Kellogg's thumb. He wasn't sure the gap between his thighs would accommodate; the old flesh plates creaked from the strain and he absently noted that was something he'd need to look into before his entire world was blasted away in a ream of total pleasure. That sensor again. He must have been messing with it head-on, the way his hips were trembling. Nick grasped at his shoulder and gasped aloud, feeling something give inside and then Kellogg had hit the lower end of the pelvic shelf of his endoskeleton, wiring shoved to the sides of the space. His knees buckled from the intensity of his pleasure, giving way and allowing Kellogg to take hold of him by the legs, fingers clutching his thighs, forcing them further apart. He was sure the armor Kellogg was wearing tore under his sharp metal hand, the way he dug in. Coolant dripped between Nick's legs, leaving him slick and needing it.
"Why aren't you stopping me?" Kellogg's voice was husky with want, as he shoved against his sensitive core, the rough rhythm they had going causing Nick's back to hit the wall each time. "You're just as strong as I am. You could kill me if you wanted to."
"You don't want me to stop you." Nick clawed down his spine, feeling the cloth of Kellogg's shirt split where he rent it in two.
"No - you just don't want me to stop ."
He forced the tops of Nick's thighs up toward his chest, rocking just at the edge of the plate gap between his legs. Nick's breathing started to grow louder, and he wasn't sure if the whirring vibrating through him as if he were overheating was from Kellogg or if something was wrong. He was right in a way. Nick wasn't sure if he could deal with the sudden loss of the burning force tearing him apart, the way it scorched through him, leaving nothing but an emptiness he needed filled, desperately.
" Please -!"
"Begging now, are we?" Kellogg growled right in his ear. Nick turned his head away, his hips working toward the source of the pleasure. "Look at you, fucked totally open."
His head fell back against the wall; Kellogg's mouth - still so hot it burned - chased after, capturing his lips in a fierce kiss. His teeth caught Kellogg's bottom lip and bit down, hard. The flesh gave way, with only the slightest of resistance.
Through a torn lip, Kellogg gave him a wild grin, the friction building as he ground hard against that twice-damned sensor that drove him up the wall.
A ragged groan ripped free of his mouth, and Nick was sure he wouldn't last much longer like this.
"C'mon, then." Kellogg forced him harder against the wall, the pressure making his lightweight metal frame grate together. His fingers, strong as they were, dug tracks down the edge of Kellogg's armor. Nick's head bowed, his mouth open. It was a shock to him when Kellogg touched his lips with his fingers. He took them into his mouth without another thought, grinding his back teeth against the intrusion.
"Oh yeah ." That familiar voice breathed in his ear, gravel and honey, thick with lust, and it was all Nick could take before he just let go right there. His hands gripped Kellogg's shoulders tight as the light of his eyes flickered, unable to take the constant stimulation any longer.
The sound that escaped his mouth was an unnatural mechanical buzzing as his whole body went taut, sparks erupting from the jagged holes in his chest.
"My turn." Kellogg murmured, letting Nick sink lower, body sagging forward as he caught his breath. He pulled out of him with an unceremonious tug, and the detective jerked along with the movement. He took Nick's chin in his hand, tilting it up. His eyes lit up again, and Kellogg pushed his jaw open with his thumb. Rubbing the edge on his teeth, Kellogg gave him another feral grin, and took hold of his tie in the other, dragging him up onto his knees. Nick bit down on the pad of his thumb, just hard enough for a flare of arousal to make its way across Kellogg's expression.
The detective shifted where he was, coolant still streaking down his thighs in a slow stream. "Not a word?" Kellogg caressed the edge of his face plate - uncharacteristically tenderly - and Nick's breathing hitched.
"Did you ever find the guy who killed Jenny?"
"How did you feel when you killed the men who took your family from you?" Nick spoke after some consideration, voice low as his eyes flicked around the room, staring ahead into space. He was deliberately avoiding Kellogg's gaze.
Kellogg took a breath and held it. "I try not to think about that."
His head rolled back to peer up at Kellogg. "I try not to think about Jenny either."
"Fair enough." Kellogg took hold of his jaw, fingertips ghosting over the wires beneath. Nick covered his hand with his own, breath heavy. "I can't do that again. Not so soon."
Kellogg pulled back as if he'd been scalded. Nick looked at him curiously, before eyeing his burgeoning erection, still coated in coolant. Maintaining eye contact, Nick opened his mouth and lapped at the head. He reacted accordingly, one hand still pulling his tie upward. Despite everything, he kept his eyes on Kellogg's face, enveloping his cock in a wet pressure. It wasn't as warm as he was anticipating, but Kellogg wrapped a hand around the back of Nick's neck, the tips of his fingers coming to wrap around and curl along the back edge of his neck, just barely touching the exposed metal beneath. Nick's breathing sped up from that touch alone, and his tongue swiped across the head of his cock purely by reflex. Not expecting it, Kellogg's hips pistoned forward, eager for that attention. Nick put his hand to the other man's hip, steadying him. He knew he wouldn't gag from being handled too roughly, but something about having this kind of control over Kellogg was exhilarating.
Coolant dripped down the exposed side of his jaw, mingled with whatever synthetic substance made up Kellogg's precum. It glistened as Kellogg let go of his neck, running two fingers along the aluminum line of his exposed jaw. The light of Nick's eyes blacked out for a second, a vibration from deep inside him building.
"You're enjoying this more than you thought you would, aren't you?" Kellogg hooked a finger around the metal of his jaw, lifting his face sideways. Nick's eyes dimmed, lids heavy, but still he didn't tear his gaze from Kellogg's. Instead, he used the angle to his advantage, taking him in just deep enough, almost swallowing around him, that Kellogg could see his own cock as he thrust, rolling his hips slow, languidly letting Nick form his tongue into shape around it. He groaned, the image of Nick taking him in making his hips stutter in their thrusts. Nick's fingers tightened at his waist, pulling him out with some force. He looked up at him, mouth open as he panted; down his chin dripped thick liquid, and Kellogg almost came then and there. That was from him alone.
A sudden aching want burned through him, an urge to take Nick roughly.
"Right here." Nick could see the need on his face; he ran a hand along his length, teasing the head with a squeeze. "Just like this."
He started guiding Kellogg's erection to the jagged leaking hole in his face. It was already slick, still hot from the insistent press of Kellogg's cock to the metal. Kellogg's hand flew to the top of his head and gripped, hard, pulling Nick's head closer to his pelvis. His head bowed, and Nick's fingers at his hip loosened their hold, letting him begin to thrust. Nick's jaw was forced open, the now-familiar heat soaking through him like before. With each push of his hips, the friction against his sensitive metal core sparked new and unique pleasure, and Nick's eyes coasted halfway closed. He knew he was drooling, but he wasn't sure if it was his own fluids or a mix of his and Kellogg's synthetic precum, but he didn't care. The rhythm quickened, Nick's tongue sliding along the wet length of his cock. Nick's metal hand covered Kellogg's on the top of his head, guiding him to thrust harder, the nibs at the ends of his fingers digging into his own scalp, allowing Kellogg permission to fuck his face, his jaw popping out with the effort.
Between his legs, Nick could feel himself growing wetter, coolant welling up along the edges of the panels where he had been fucked open. Nick's regular hand travelled, shaking, down the side of his thigh, at once curling his fingers into the space between his thighs. With a jolt, he moaned around the cock in his mouth, and sparks exploded in front of his eyes. His mouth closed around Kellogg's cock and he bit down just enough for a sharp cry to erupt from somewhere above him and then wet heat flooded his senses and his nasal cavity. Nick choked around his cock, drooling and dripping come from his nose and mouth. Kellogg pulled out without warning as he got soft, watching Nick double over, coughing and sputtering around the thick liquid leaking from his face.
Kellogg lifted Nick's head, where his eyes refocused, staring up at him. His fingers gripped the back of Nick's neck once more, and his head tilted back to rest against Kellogg's palm. Nick's legs were weak as he found the will to stand, his hand falling free from where it was between his thighs.
"You can't say I'm a selfish lover, can you?" Kellogg, chest heaving, brought Nick closer. His eyes followed the tips of Kellogg's fingers as he touched his jaw, strings of wet still clinging to it.
"I can't call you a lover either way." Nick met his eyes with some difficulty. "Nora killed you. I watched her do it."
"Mm, and she's got an iron grip around whatever passes for your heart, don't she? You ever gonna tell her about Jenny?" Kellogg teased, fingers wiping the come from Nick's lips, where it had spilled from his nose.
"She deserves to know."
"Do you think it'll make her care more about you?" He leaned in close, the low vibrations from his voice going right through Nick's body. Kellogg's fingers curled around the edge of his metal jaw frame, squeezing tight. A cry of surprise and pleasure eked its way out of Nick's disabled jaw; he all but melted against him, his already weakened knees collapsing. Kellogg held him upright, his arm solid against the small of Nick's back. He could easily have squeezed tighter, Nick's body would have crumpled against him like dry kindling.
One hand rested against Kellogg's chest, ready to try to stop him if he tried. Nick squeezed Kellogg's wrist, but only managed to get him to tilt Nick's face to the side. "She doesn't care about anyone but the kid. How long do you think that'll last?" Nick stared, listening. "How many other synths did she gun down without another thought?"
He shook Nick by the jaw, visibly angry. Nick's fingers tightened on his hand, a look of apprehension present. He couldn't speak the way Kellogg was manhandling his face, his breathing loud.
"She didn't care when she found out how my family was gunned down, she won't care about Jenny, and she will never love you."
Kellogg startled when Nick's hand curved around his. He was carefully easing his hand off the metal frame; it was too much, too soon. As soon as his hand was pulled free, Nick let out a sigh and looked down at where Kellogg's throat was working, adam's apple bobbing with bottled up emotion.
"I don't want her to love me." He managed to speak, gaze flickering back and forth from Kellogg's face to some unknown distant thing. "Jenny was enough for me."
"She's dead."
"So were you." Nick found the strength to hold his gaze, ignoring the gnawing urge to look away.
"What are you saying, that you think the Institute's gonna have some record of her to bring back the way I was?" Kellogg snapped, laughing. "That's a fucking pipe dream if I've ever heard one."
"No." Nick's fingers crawled up toward Kellogg's neck, twitching. "I know she's gone. I couldn't bring her back even if it were possible. It's… not right. I just know it wouldn't be her. It wouldn't be the same girl I fell for."
Kellogg's hand, still clasped in Nick's, took hold of the thin line of his throat, fingers curling inwards on both sides. It wasn't a violent move, simply possessive.
"Here's where you and I differ." He spoke, lips right at Nick's ear. "If I got the chance, I'd bring Sarah back, and Mary. They didn't deserve to die because of a mistake I made."
Nick's breath hitched and he listened carefully, eyes open. "How do you know if she'd approve of everything you've done?"
He pulled back, staring him full in the face. "She wouldn't, I know that." Nick's hand slowly dropped from Kellogg's wrist. "She could go back to some big safe city, take Mary with her, and live somewhere where some hotshot raider assholes from some backwater hell won't come after me because I got in the way."
Nick didn't answer. That was noble, in a way; a less selfish reason than he was expecting.
Kellogg squeezed his throat, wrenching him closer. Nick's mouth fell open, and he found himself studying his face. He licked his lips, again, just a half-remembered habit from a time long-gone, before reaching out and touching Kellogg's face with the pointed tips of his aluminum fingers.
"You were a good man, once."
"The same way you weren't."
"I did some things I regret, after I lost Jenny." He forced his gaze downward.
"Mm," Kellogg pressed his arm further against Nick's spine. He could feel it creak from the pressure. He drew him in closer, pulling him by the throat, before their mouths met. Kellogg's mouth trailed down to meet the edge of his face. The cloying sweetness of the coolant coated his tongue, sinking in, sticking to the surface.
Nick caught his breath in one fell swoop, clawing at Kellogg's shoulder. His tongue was so much hotter, so much more wet, as it curled around the exposed wires of his face.
A mild current ran through it, taking the time to dash its way across Kellogg's tongue. He ran his tongue along the jagged edge, tasting his own come where it had remained. Nick whined, breathing loud in his ear.
"You were touching yourself." Kellogg's voice vibrated, low and rumbling, right at the edge of his face. "Did you miss it that much?"
Nick shuddered, despite himself, a full body tremble. "Don't-"
"Do it again."
He watched his face, eyes flickering minutely, before reaching down with his metal fingers. Nick's chin dug into his shoulder, as he worked a finger into the gap in his legs, still wide open, soaked through. His mouth opened, slackened. "Ah.."
Kellogg scraped his teeth along the edge of his jaw, and Nick's hand tightened at his back. He added another finger, tentative as he separated them in a v shape. The feeling was nothing close to being filled, but nonetheless intoxicating. The constant grate of teeth against the metal of his face was a sweet underscore to the waves of pleasure that threatened to overtake him each time his fingers drove deeper, sparks soaring with each curl of his fingers.
Everything was too much for him; the need building in him as he thrust his fingers faster, losing himself to the deep ache that was growing, the heat on his throat, the pressure at his back oppressive. Nick met his gaze, holding it as Kellogg drew back to watch his expression. The feeling of knowing he was being watched led him to begin to overheat much faster than he was expecting. His breath caught in his throat, leading to a sharp cry that segued into a metallic hum as he was overloaded with sensation.
Nick's eyes dimmed and his head drooped against Kellogg's shoulder. He smoothed a hand along the old detective's jaw, smearing his come and spit and coolant across Nick's mouth, as he deposited him in his chair, behind the desk. Nick's head fell back against the top of it. His breathing was harsh, uneven, and his eyes were still dimmed, only a faint ring of yellow against the black.
"You'll know where to find me, I'm sure. You found my place before." Kellogg was tucking himself back into his pants, after he had wiped himself clean on Nick's coat, discarded across his desk.
"You're leaving." It was phrased like a question, but Nick knew the answer already.
Kellogg gave him a half shrug as he walked to the door. "You know just as well as I do I'll be back soon enough. You don't want anyone to know I was here, right? How you're fraternizing with a known Institute synth?"
Nick followed each step he took with his eyes; noting how it still felt like some part of him was missing, like a shot of buckshot clean through his stomach, like there was a hole. As the door clicked closed behind him, Nick briefly wondered if letting Ellie see him completely wrecked like this was worth the endless worried questions he would get if he did. He found it didn't matter; his legs wouldn't obey him either way, and somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he was irreparably damaged. His eyes drifted closed, as his sight started to go black.
Maybe this was a good thing.
Nick smiled as it all went dark.