Hello everyone,
Thank you to everyone who favourited or follows the story. Also thank you to Lol, JJ45 and The 14th's Melody for the review.
Here is the second chapter.
Disclaimer: Nope, I have never and will never own DGM.
The moyashi finally wakes up around eight o'clock in the evening. The finder already left this afternoon and went back to HQ ahead of us. So we are the only ones left. The inn is nearly vacant at the moment too.
I have been slightly dozing off but am suddenly ripped out of it. The beansprout shoots up with a loud panicked scream. Hurriedly I sit up straight. He takes a moment to realise where he is then he draws his legs to his chest and curls himself up. I see he is shaking and silent sobs are ripping through him. A pitiful picture. Even I lean slightly forward and lay a hand on his shoulder.
"Oi, moyashi! You okay?" I grumble at him, not really bothering to put on a different tone.
He tries to shakily nod, but even I can see that he is lying. I sigh.
"You're not, idiot! What did that fucking Noah do?" I growl.
He doesn't answer, only keeps on shaking, at least the crying nearly ceased. I though get irritated by his behaviour. Not that I care much about him but this sobbing mess is good for nothing.
"Fucking tell me, baka moyashi!" I scoff, pulling up his face, revealing puffy eyes and a frantic expression, "What the fuck is wrong, idiot?"
"N-Nothing…" he croaks out, "S-She only… Me-Memories…" Is all what I can identify from his shaking voice.
"She only showed you memories? Yours?" I noticed over the past year that it can help the beansprout if he can talk (for some reason to me) about what is bothering him, so I keep on prodding. Even though I might be acting quite out of character right now, when it comes to this idiot it's not the first time.
He nods shakily again trying to move his gaze away from my face but I am holding his head in place.
"What memory, moyashi? Fucking talk, specify what the hell you mean!"
"T-The with T-Tyki…" Tyki? That freak Noah I met in Edo? "I-I… d-died… I…"
I heard of that happening. The moyashi encountered the Noah earlier in China and got a hole through his heart at that. He officially died, his Innocence kept him alive. I for myself had my more than enough times of closer than near-death-experiences with my seal bringing me back. So for me the thought of dying isn't as frightening anymore. But I still remember the first time it happened and it was terrible. The moyashi is not accustomed to it like me so having to relive this memory over again must have been quite painful.
I sigh. His behaviour didn't change much. We won't get anywhere like that. So I resort to the last mean I know (okay, have seen Linali do) and quite dread. But this idiotic kid always manages to get me to do things I don't want to. So I slowly lean forward, pulling his body close to mine and put my arms around him. He looks up at me quite surprised at the hug. I just 'che' and look away. I see him smile shakily. At least a bit of progress. Then he buries his head in my chest and sobs again.
"It's okay, moyashi. It was just an illusion. You're not dead. You're still very much alive," I murmur in his ear.
It takes ten minutes for his tears to stop and another half an hour until he starts to move in my arms. I loosen my hold and start to sit back. He smiles carefully at me. I still detect the fright from earlier in his face but he is close to normal, luckily.
"Th-Thanks Kanda…" he murmurs, looking down and fisting the sheets.
I grumble a bit and return to the chair I put next to his bed. I sit for a moment, staring at him, and wait for him to say something more. But when he doesn't I sigh and stand up, heading over to my own bed. But before I can take a step, something catches my right wrist. When I turn, irritated, I see the moyashi is gripping it, his face shadowed by his bangs.
"What?" I scoff, my span of niceties already overstretched for today.
"I… I…" he is stuttering like he doesn't want to say what he is planning on. His next words are too silent for me to catch so I lean down to him, one knee on the bed, my face directly in front of his.
"What? Speak up, moyashi!" I growl.
"Could-Could you help me prove to me that I am still alive?" he mumbles.
"Prove that you are alive? What the heck do you – hmph!"
I start to scoff at him but am suddenly cut off when he shoots forward, grabbing my collar in the process. I am shocked when I feel his lips on mine. He is kissing me! What the fuck?! He is… The stupid moyashi is fucking kissing me! And not like some little peck. He is moving against my lips and trying to make it even deeper. What's wrong with him?
Nonetheless I can't deny that I don't completely hate it. His lips are soft and feel good. Shit! What am I thinking? Suddenly something warm and wet touches my lip. I make an annoyed sound but the thing, which I have identified as the moyashi's tongue, uses the chance and slips inside my mouth. What is he doing?! But for some reason I am not able to push him away forceful enough to break his grip. But luckily I can stop myself from reacting to his kiss.
Finally he draws away in need of breath, with an again frantic look in his eyes, nearly desperate. I wipe a hand over my mouth.
"W-What the fuck was that, moyashi?" I growl. Unfortunately Mugen is out of my reach and he is still gripping my collar, so I can't decapitate him at the moment.
"I… I… S-Sorry… It's just-just to prove that I-I'm alive…" he stutters averting his gaze.
Now I understand. I sigh. Even though I hoped he would have his prove now his behaviour says it was not enough. I sigh again and curse. I really don't want to drag this crying mess back to the Order. If a kiss is what gets him out of it. Fine, if it has to be.
So I grab his chin, ignoring the look of surprise in his eyes. I pull his face up, my lips meeting his for the second time. For a moment he is shocked but then immediately starts to react. I repeat his earlier action by running my tongue along his bottom lip. He opens up without any hesitation and my tongue enters his mouth. His own comes to meet mine and they start to engage in a battle. In the end I win. For that it is both our first experience (at least I assume for him too) it feels really good. I am trying to ignore the fact that it is the moyashi I am kissing and try to concentrate on the feeling.
When we part for air, his arms have found their way on my shoulders and he is panting slightly and blushing.
"You satisfied now, moyashi?" I growl, willing away my own light blush.
A sad look flashes trough his eyes and his gaze turns down again. He seems to be pondering over what to do. I sit back, assuming his response to be yes. But I am a bit shocked when I think to detect a shaking of the head. And again when I try to move away he grips my arm.
"Please!" he whispers, "Prove to me that I am alive!"
"Moyashi!" I sigh exasperated, "I already kissed you! That's what you wanted, wasn't it?"
He shakes his head, vigorously. I groan deeply. That boy is annoying as hell.
"Then what the heck do you want me to do?"
His next words I nearly can't catch as he speaks so silently, but in the end I wish I hadn't heard them.
"Take me…"
I hope I misheard! He didn't just say what I think I heard him say. He can't mean…, can he?
"Begging your pardon?" I ask stunned.
"S-Sleep with me…" he murmurs again, this time clarifying it and confining my fears.
"Moyashi! Do you know what you are fucking saying?! We can't! We are both men, bloody hell!" I yell at him, a slight red creeping on my cheeks again.
"I don't care!" his voice is getting louder with each word, until he is nearly screaming, sounding somehow desperate, "I don't care that we are both men! I need to feel that I am still alive! Please Kanda! I don't care about the rules against it! Do you?"
I am taking aback by his rant. The rules were made by the church, that two men being together is a sin. But as I lost my belief in the church long ago, I give a shit about these rules as well. At his words a conversation (though slightly one-sided) we had around two months ago, comes back to my mind.
~ flashback ~
I am in the training room, trying to meditate. But nowadays it is quite hard to find time for it as most of the time it is either Linali running away from Rouvelier next to me or the moyashi, blabbering about his problems. And that's the case right now as well. On the floor by my side is the stupid beansprout, lying on his back. He has just talked for about ten minutes without me uttering more than some sounds. At the moment he is silent which I greatly appreciate. Unfortunately that doesn't last for long when I hear him speak up again.
"Kanda… Have you ever thought about being gay?"
"Huh?" this rips even me out of my trying-to-meditate-state. I open my eyes and look at him. He is staring at the ceiling, avoiding my gaze. Luckily this room is reserved for exorcists and I and he are the only ones of those at HQ at the moment. If anyone had heard him, he would have been imprisoned. We work for an institution of the church and they think of it as a sin after all!
"Have you really never thought about being with a man instead of a woman?" the moyashi inquires.
"Oi! You know this is considered a sin, don't you? Baka moyashi!" I scoff at him.
"I know," he answers with a firm voice, "But I am not asking the official opinion. I am asking yours. And yours alone. I know you don't give much on the rules of the church. And it's still Allen!"
I grumble and force myself to actually think about an answer on his question for once.
"Not much, baka! I am not interested in anyone, especially that way. Neither male nor female," I answer honestly, which earns me a sigh from him.
"I knew you would say something like that, BaKanda."
"Che! Baka moyashi! Don't call me that!" I scoff back.
To my surprise he chuckles at that. I 'che' another time and go back to my meditation. But not for long until he voices another statement that throws me off balance.
"What would you think of me if I told you… If I was gay?"
"The fuck, moyashi?" I shout back, nearly toppling over.
"Answer the question, Kanda! Please!" His voice is suddenly different.
I grumble and curse, but then sigh.
"Not differently. As you correctly noticed I give a shit about this fucking church's rules. And I also don't care about your sexual orientation. You are you, no matter whether you like men or women," I grumble reluctantly.
His face lights up when he hears my words. "Thank you, Kanda," he smiles at me brightly and for some reason I am happy to see it's a real one for once.
"But why the heck did you ask me that?"
His smile turns into a smirk. "Well… I could get interested in you…"
"The fuck?" I yell, now actually blushing.
"Why are you so surprised, Yuu-chan? You are quite the attractive man. And no gay man, not even me, would refuse to sleep with you!" His voice has a teasing tone.
And even though I know he is only joking now he is really going overboard, using that stupid nickname as well!
"What the fuck are you saying?! Stop this shit! And never ever fucking call me 'Yuu-chan'!" I growl, grabbing Mugen.
He jumps up, activating Crown Clown as well and we engage in one of our usual battles.
He never brought up this subject again and I forgot soon after, until now.
~ end of flashback ~
Was that was the moyashi wanted to tell me back then? That he was gay? And that he liked me… or did at least find me attractive? And now he wants to… sleep with me? Unfortunately for some reason I am not as disgusted by that thought as I should be.
I am shell-shocked over what is happening nonetheless. But I still have to decide on what to do now! And I have to do it fast! The easiest and probably most natural thing would be to deny the moyashi's request and push him away. But… There is this haunted look on the beansprout's face. I don't want to see that any longer. Also dragging him in this state back to HQ would be a pain and if the moyashi changes that much I don't think the Order would ever be the same. Allen's smile was what lightened up the bad mood hanging there. It's not my problem but the others would be greatly affected. But still… Maybe if I can reason with him (not my best ability either though).
"Please Kanda!" he cries at me.
"Moyashi! We can't do it! If someone sees us, we will get killed!" I shout, trying to deter him.
"No one will see, Kanda! The finder left and no one else knows us here! I need to feel alive! Please! Prove it to me!" his voice sounds desperate, his eyes pleading.
My resolution starts to waver. If sex is what he needs now, why not. If it gets him back to his normal behaviour which will lighten up the whole HQ, then my already defiled body is a small price to pay. But I will give it one last try before I give in to him.
"Then get yourself a woman, moyashi! Or I can go and…"
"No, Kanda! I want you! Now! Please!"
That's it for today. Thanks for reading.
I think you all have an idea what will happen next time. Hope to see you then.
And please keep on reviewing.