** I don't own these characters or the stories they belong to **
July 2, 1996
List of things I learned (before coming to Hogwarts):
1. Bullies are essentially cowards. Basically, it's trying too hard to cover for something that's feared: magic, the unknown, not being good or loved enough, not being chosen—whatever. There's a million reasons, I suppose, but no excuses. It's pretty pathetic to try to make yourself feel better by tearing someone else down. Lots of kids are mean that way, but at some point, it becomes a choice. Most people grow out of it (mostly)—some never do. Also people who are in charge and let bullies get away with it and those who watch it and stand by and do nothing when they see it going on are nearly as guilty as the people doing it themselves.
2. Bullies won't stop unless you stand up and make them, but there is a fine line between standing up for yourself (or someone else) and preserving your life…and unbroken bones and skin. Pick your battles, but also, find the line and hold it. Sometimes you just have to wait—mostly to get away, but also to get even (if it's worth it). Sometimes you can't help being angry, but try not to get all bitter about it, because really, that basically turns you into them.
[If I was ever iffy on that point, it's cinched now. P. Snape, hello. He's like a living one of those cautionary fables. His life must have been something horrible to make him like that, I'm perfectly aware (though Hermione would probably be shocked to know it), but how big (or small) is your character, if over a decade later (because I'm pretty sure it has to do with Dad and Sirius, the way he goes on) you feel like you have to torture kids 20 years younger than yourself—an orphan and near orphan (Neville)—especially, just to what? make yourself feel good, get some joy out of life, make it through the day? The word pathetic comes to mind—and yet from where I sit (endlessly), I could see it would be easy enough to get bitter. I guess it grows easily once you get there, and that's the caution. Snarky and sarcastic—fine…funny, even. Sadistic bully—no…equals coward and pathetic. Merlin, send someone to snap me out of it if I ever turn into that.]
3. Adults are not to be trusted—not on default anyway. Respect is earned, but also, everyone deserves respect unless they've shown themselves unworthy of it. (See #1) There's a difference between having respect for someone and acting respectful out of necessity—and isn't it funny that the less people do to earn respect, the more they demand it?
[There is a big difference between Hermione and me in this respecting adults thing. Ron's had the twin's example before him: how many ways can you get around the adults to pull a prank? But I suspect adults have been nicer to Hermione than kids, who fear her brilliance (and maybe just a tad her wee bit of bossiness…but if you read this, don't tell her I said that.) I, on the other hand…well, my story is different in the not-good kind of way, isn't it? There is a reason my first instinct is not, 'Let's run and tell someone, shall we?' I try not to begrudge her coming from a better place…or find it too annoying. Sometimes I manage it—mostly I'm glad she never had to learn the hard way like I did.]