Audio Erotica

"Why do all the Nations speak English?" Sarah asked. It was Friday night, and Team One was hanging out in the lounge corner of Hungary's basement.

"They don't," Amanda said. "Nihon-san explained it to me. The Nations speak a common language, which humans hear as whatever language they understand best. So I hear them in Japanese."

"Oh. That makes sense," said Sarah, who had been wondering why Hungary seemed to speak English without an accent.

"They do know whatever languages their populations speak, and any other language they decide to learn," Amanda continued, "but they'll always have an accent speaking them."

"Not necessarily a bad thing," Sarah commented. Amanda guessed that she was thinking of England's voice.

"No, it's not," Jeanne-Marie agreed, undoubtedly thinking of France's accent.

Amanda decided to have some fun. "Whose accent is sexier in English—England's or France's?"
"England's," Sarah said, almost before Amanda had finished.

"Mais non," Jeanne-Marie said. "French is the sexiest of languages, so a French accent makes everything sound sexier."

"No, it isn't!" Sarah insisted. "Linguist, remember? The sexiest language in Europe is-"

Jeanne-Marie ignored her. "Amanda, what about Japan's accent? It is almost as adorable as France's."

Amanda shrugged. "Not really. Japanese may be the sexiest language in Asia, but it's not nearly as hot as-"

"J-M? Hey, I was saying something..." Sarah, who hated being ignored, waved a hand in Jeanne-Marie's face.

Jeanne-Marie sighed. "Yes, Sarah, what is it?"

"We're never going to agree. So how about we get somebody else to judge?" Sarah glanced at Amanda, who shook her head.

The basement was silent. Then Sarah sat up. "Idea. I'll call America, and we can ask him!"

"You believe a Nation will want to resolve our quarrel?" Jeanne-Marie asked sarcastically.

"It's America," Sarah said, as if that explained everything. Then she pulled out her phone.

"Why does she have America on speed-dial?" Jeanne-Marie whispered to Amanda.

"It makes it easier to plan things," Amanda whispered back. "You don't have England's number?" Jeanne-Marie shook her head.

Someone answered the phone. "Hey, 'sup, Al?" Sarah said in her native Midwestern accent. "Oh. Right. Sorry...but while I've got you, quick question. Who has the sexier accent in English, England or France?" Pause. "You can think about that. In fact, while you're thinking, can you give me to England? Thanks!"

The phone was, apparently, handed over, and Sarah began speaking a language that Amanda recognized vaguely and Jeanne-Marie not at all. It had a fluid sound that in Sarah's voice was more than reasonably sexy. She chatted with England for a little while, asked a question, then abruptly switched back to English.

"Hey Al, so...you got an answer? Okay...putting you on speaker." She pressed a button and held the phone away from her ear. "Okay, so?"

America's voice echoed tinnily from the speaker. "So. I thought long and hard-" the girls snickered "—and I have to say England has the sexier accent." Sarah looked satisfied; Jeanne-Marie, disappointed. "That answer your question?"

"Yes, it does; thank you, Alfred; have a great night!" Sarah hung up and grinned at Amanda, who smiled back.

Jeanne-Marie suspected foul play. "What did you say to England?" she asked. Amanda got up and wandered over to a bookshelf full of DVDs.

"Nothing special," Sarah said flippantly, "but I said it in Welsh. And Welsh is the sexiest language in Europe."

"So you did that on purpose," Jeanne-Marie accused. "You knew America would be with England tonight."

Sarah shrugged. "So did you," she said. "You could've stopped me."

Jeanne-Marie opened her mouth to reply, but stopped when Amanda came back holding a couple of DVDs. "Whether she cheated or not, it was still funny," she said. "Let's do something else. Jeanne-Marie, why don't you pick a movie—Spain and Romano or Germany and Greece?"

A/N: I've never seen any Germany/Greece lemons, but given recent history, there should be some. I'm gonna throw the prompt out there: "He'd reached the point where he'd do anything for a bailout." Let me know if/when you write something :)